Personally think the husband came accross the way he did on the interview because he knows what people are saying online, he knows people are looking at his company accounts and discussing his whole life. Can’t imagine how that must feel. He must have felt under a very very small microscope. Embarrassed. Just mortifying having your life laid out bare. We’ve all got skeletons in our closets. Doesn’t mean we are cold blooded killers. And your wife going missing does not entitle the world to scrutinise you the way people online are doing especially when the police have very very clearly said they don’t believe there is a 3rd party involved.
- Notice
TakeMeBackToAitutaki
New member
This situation is similar to the one my family found ourselves in, many years ago. Despite extensive police investigations, we have devastatingly never got any answers about what happened and have had to learn to live with that. We got closure of sorts by a body being found and a cause of death (drowning) but it is still a mystery as to what happened.
The period in which my close family member (a parent) was missing was extremely traumatic. We were watched very closely by the police, hounded by the local media and it was the closest thing to hell on earth that I could imagine. I am remain traumatised by the experience over two decades on. To go through this experience with the intensity of the online conspiracy theories and scrutiny of the family members doesn't bare thinking about.
I couldn't think straight, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, could barely string a sentence together let alone a coherent one. I remember nervous laughter, my external emotional reactions not matching my internal ones (smiling when dying inside to try and project an image as 'ok' when I was anything but). I remember a police officer staring at me when my sister said something that made me smile, it felt like I shouldn't possibly be able to smile in that situation.
I am glad that most of you have no idea how you would react, but I can tell you it might not be exactly as you think it would be. If Nicola's partner said something you believe you wouldn't have said, or did something you think you wouldn't have done, you may judge him but you probably shouldn't. We react in different ways when we are under intense stress. I have some insight but it wasn't the media storm that this is.
My heart goes out to Nicola's family and friends. They may read the online comments and theories. They will undoubtedly be affected by them, especially her partner and children. It WILL add another layer of trauma. It's already an extremely traumatic thing to live through.
The period in which my close family member (a parent) was missing was extremely traumatic. We were watched very closely by the police, hounded by the local media and it was the closest thing to hell on earth that I could imagine. I am remain traumatised by the experience over two decades on. To go through this experience with the intensity of the online conspiracy theories and scrutiny of the family members doesn't bare thinking about.
I couldn't think straight, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, could barely string a sentence together let alone a coherent one. I remember nervous laughter, my external emotional reactions not matching my internal ones (smiling when dying inside to try and project an image as 'ok' when I was anything but). I remember a police officer staring at me when my sister said something that made me smile, it felt like I shouldn't possibly be able to smile in that situation.
I am glad that most of you have no idea how you would react, but I can tell you it might not be exactly as you think it would be. If Nicola's partner said something you believe you wouldn't have said, or did something you think you wouldn't have done, you may judge him but you probably shouldn't. We react in different ways when we are under intense stress. I have some insight but it wasn't the media storm that this is.
My heart goes out to Nicola's family and friends. They may read the online comments and theories. They will undoubtedly be affected by them, especially her partner and children. It WILL add another layer of trauma. It's already an extremely traumatic thing to live through.
MacPishFlaps
Active member
My husband drowned. He literally left for work one day and didn't come home. He was a missing person for 7 weeks until someone discovered his body. The discovery of the body was miles away from where he entered the water. Weather conditions and the condition of the river have a huge impact on cases where people are suspected of drowning
Unless the police have put out a false timeline and they have put out a totally false outline of what likely happened, it's clear that she ended up in the river and drowned.
The only people who will have reasons to reject that hypothesis is her family, and anyone else who loved her.
They are going to hold out hope that the reason for her disappearance is anything but drowning as they will not give up hope she is alive.
I lost my Mum a month ago and its the worst thing I have ever gone through and I'm still struggling to function. I cannot even begin to imagine what her family are going through.
I'd love to come up with some convoluted scenario that meant there was a chance she was still alive but nothing other than drowning makes sense.
The only people who will have reasons to reject that hypothesis is her family, and anyone else who loved her.
They are going to hold out hope that the reason for her disappearance is anything but drowning as they will not give up hope she is alive.
I lost my Mum a month ago and its the worst thing I have ever gone through and I'm still struggling to function. I cannot even begin to imagine what her family are going through.
I'd love to come up with some convoluted scenario that meant there was a chance she was still alive but nothing other than drowning makes sense.
Yes, you’re right. He nipped down to the river, completely unspotted on the way by other dog walkers in an area where he was well known, pushed her into the river and/or murdered/ abducted her and hid her somewhere, all in 10 minutes and somehow the dog didn’t follow him, got back in short order, AND the police completely forgot to find out where he was during that time. He gave it all away when he said “dream” instead of “bad dream” during a 2 minute interview. Case closed!
All,
Keep it respectful for everyone involved and stop with the arguments and policing what others post.
Don't post just to antagonize, dip out of a thread if it's not for you. It always puts mods in a difficult position with incidents like this.
Keep it respectful for everyone involved and stop with the arguments and policing what others post.
Don't post just to antagonize, dip out of a thread if it's not for you. It always puts mods in a difficult position with incidents like this.
Rosie glow
VIP Member
Wow this thread really has become quite nasty hasn't it, it seems if you don't agree that it was an accident you're some crazy armchair detective whos obsessed about true crime and you get shouted down.
Why can't we all just have our own opinions we don't have to agree.
There's no evidence to suggest anything sinister happened but there's also no evidence yet to suggest it was an accident either.
There are things about the situation that seem a bit odd or don't add up I guess time will tell.
Why can't we all just have our own opinions we don't have to agree.
There's no evidence to suggest anything sinister happened but there's also no evidence yet to suggest it was an accident either.
There are things about the situation that seem a bit odd or don't add up I guess time will tell.
Tangerine Cat
VIP Member
Carry on discussing here.
Though I’m shocked at the number of tattlers still not believing the police's explanation that Nicola sadly fell in the water somehow.
Nicola
Though I’m shocked at the number of tattlers still not believing the police's explanation that Nicola sadly fell in the water somehow.
NicolaThere is literally no evidence he has done anything wrong. None. When my mother was told her father had died, she laughed. A shock reaction. She didn't murder him, I assure you.
xoxogossip_girl
VIP Member
The river leads to the sea? I'm in shock
Josephine Shaker
Well-known member
Do you think this was rehearsed? Do you think someone with this amount of trauma has all the right words? With a camera on him, his wife missing and two devastated children? Do you think he thinks in any way in a coherent and well considered way? This is not a movie or tv show you know? I feel that even if he sobbed and broke down on his knees screaming for her to come back there would be internet sleuths that would say: well he’s acting and putting it all on. He really can’t win. But rather than worry about the word “dream” maybe look at how likely it is in the timeline and the area being covered by cameras that he would have gone after her and killed her, to be back in time to receive the call that she was missing.
I've watched the interview and the only thing coming across is that that man is in complete and utter shock.
Yet armchair detectives are all over it with their 'sOmEtHiNg DoNt AdD uP hUN".
Mick Philpott was crying his eyes out at his press conference, people would do well to remember that when they attempt to be psychologists.
Yet armchair detectives are all over it with their 'sOmEtHiNg DoNt AdD uP hUN".
Mick Philpott was crying his eyes out at his press conference, people would do well to remember that when they attempt to be psychologists.
My mum died a month ago and we were extremely close, the following is something I wrote to my brother 3 days after she died.
"I just feel like this isn't real and she isn't gone and I'm going to wake up from this dream and phone her and tell her all about this dream I had"
It was an unexpected death and quite quick and I was in pieces and still am yet 3 days after I described it as a dream.
Nothing wrong with his choice of words.
"I just feel like this isn't real and she isn't gone and I'm going to wake up from this dream and phone her and tell her all about this dream I had"
It was an unexpected death and quite quick and I was in pieces and still am yet 3 days after I described it as a dream.
Nothing wrong with his choice of words.
Tangerine Cat
VIP Member
You were right to say something, I saw that earlier and was going to comment on that.Thank you @I steal names
It is an extremely emotive case and I still pray for a positive outcome for the family. It must be so hard to have every single item of your life under a microscope and incorrect information being conveyed online. Not sure why I was in the firing line on the previous thread but hey!
I can’t believe how stupid people are to think he’d got 257 businesses registered in his name. Websites like companies house are great IF you understand what the information means, but to then go on the internet and spread it like gospel it just beggars belief
I'm neurodiverse and am constantly told I display no emotion in upsetting scenarios. I don't cry at funerals, find it impossible to make eye contact and fidget constantly. I've never murdered anyone.
RJF
VIP Member
I just find it so tragic what true crime culture (and viewing the tragedy of others as salacious escapism rather than an upsetting real life incident) has done to some people.
Now every Sue from Cleethorpes believes that each death they hear about will be the same as the ones they “consume” on Netflix and YouTube. Nobody ever passes away in a tragic accident, it has to be a grizzly murder or a grand conspiracy. And because they are so used to viewing these real life events as content to be consumed rather than grief to be respected, there is little regard for the personal dignity of the families left behind (who are often accused of murder, despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary).
The sooner this genre fades away, the better.
Now every Sue from Cleethorpes believes that each death they hear about will be the same as the ones they “consume” on Netflix and YouTube. Nobody ever passes away in a tragic accident, it has to be a grizzly murder or a grand conspiracy. And because they are so used to viewing these real life events as content to be consumed rather than grief to be respected, there is little regard for the personal dignity of the families left behind (who are often accused of murder, despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary).
The sooner this genre fades away, the better.
This also isn't really true tbh. In most of those cases the police knew full well it was likely the partner but didn't have enough evidence to arrest. If they thought he'd done anything they wouldn't be saying there was no evidence of a crime.
I really think there is a seriously unsavoury element here amongst armchair online detectives where they WANT some awful crime to have been committed because they enjoy the drama and the most likely explanation (that she fell or entered the river) is not as interesting.