Nicola Bulley #12

[Ally Pally]

I work nights and I'm seriously looking to change that because that and the symptoms I'm currently experiencing are meaning I'm running on empty.

I fall asleep fine but it's like my head stays awake. Does that even make sense? I have fleeting repetitive thoughts all night long. And of course the lovely sweats but they come and go. Was that the same for you?

Sorry to derail but thought I'd ask.

It's a bloody shame for me, get your violins out

Sleep just wouldn't come for me and when it did I'd be woken by a hot flashes.
I eventually got a prescription for sleeping tablets which were a godsend.

 

[stardust1]

There must be some way they can gag him.

A truncheon maybe?

smash him round the head

 

[EllaBella89]

Which river is that then I wonder? @Fairysteps11 There are loads of lakes in the wider area too, I didn't realise how wet and flat the geography was there. So many mud flats on the coast.

As far as I can tell, these are the only ones that go out to sea in this area, not sure which one the poster could be referring to

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Which river is that then I wonder? @Fairysteps11 There are loads of lakes in the wider area too, I didn't realise how wet and flat the geography was there. So many mud flats on the coast.

The Ribble and Lune are both “nearby” and fit that description to me (the ribble more than the lune) but they’re both quite a way away for someone travelling on foot. Even in a car, it would be quicker to get down to the point where the Wyre basically feeds into the sea. Unless there’s another river I’m not aware of…

 

[Facehugger]

Just caught up. This all makes me sad, whatever she was going through in private (that should have been able to stay private IMO) she might have felt totally well and good that morning she disappeared, the family have said there were no causes for concern when she left.

Another one here who suffered dreadfully for nearly 4 years in menopause, another who can't have HRT for numerous reasons. People label it as heavier periods, hot sweats, lack of libido etc but for those that suffer, it can be horrendous.

Hair falling out.
Teeth going weak/brittle and moving.
Painful joints.
Brain fog is real - forgetting every day words for things.
No energy and persistent tiredness.
Bladder/pelvic floor issues. Even loose bowel issues.
Dry eyes and skin.

All which will make a woman feel horrendous and when you know you just have to battle it out till it's done with, you're at an all time low, especially if you still have a family to look after and job to do.

My bestie suffered terribly when his ex was going through peri. He's been thrown down the stairs, had hairspray put in his eyes, car windows smashed, clothes ripped up and burnt, hot fat out a chip pan thrown at him, he's no pussy and he's the loveliest person but he broke, could do no more to help & had to leave for his own safety. It's a double edged sword, not just ladies that suffer.

I'm glad this thread has turned into such a support for many, it's nice to see when often Tattle is labelled as a site full of cloven hoofed folk.

 

[Pumpkin84]

O/T

Your post could have been written by me, except that I’m not on HRT.
Insomnia is so debilitating. I just want to sleep but I’m wide awake.
The fear of dementia is awful. The brain fog is so real.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been mid sentence and forgotten what I was saying. It’s embarrassing.
Even posting on here, I can sometimes lose track of what I was posting about and have to delete it unfinished.

That said compared to many, my peri menopause isn’t too bad. I’m not having mood swings and hot flushes are few and far between. Flooding isn’t much fun and my headaches/migraines have notched up a gear and take me out for a couple of days at a time.

We also need a menopause insomnia thread because at 3am there’s not many Tattlers about!

Its mad how many of us think we've got dementia due to the perimenopause, I thought it was just me. I think it's because it seems to come on so quick. I remember crying to my husband saying I think I may have dementia or even possibly a brain tumour I used to pride myself on my memory and how organised I was, but now I have to have reminders for everything set on my phone and the humiliation of forgetting words, mid sentence, has caused me to decline from social situations. The headaches are bad and wipe me out for days and my periods are damn awful and my sleep is tit. I don't have hot flushes as of yet thankfully. I just didn't quite expect it just yet, I thought I had abit more time.

Just to keep on topic - I still maintain my opinion that Nicola has fallen in the water. Accidents can still happen regardless of MH and addiction issues. However I'm hoping that I am wrong and Nicola has just taken herself off for some time and space.

 

[Toffeebythesea]

This broke me. Her poor parents. As a parent myself, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain they are in at the moment. The not knowing must be overwhelming.

I feel that the message today came from them. Especially as they put "daughter" at the front of the list. I'm glad they're able to have a voice either separate or alongside Paul. I'm glad the girls have a good support network around them. And most importantly i am still praying that somehow she returns home alive and safe.

 

[DellaC]

Sleep just wouldn't come for me and when it did I'd be woken by a hot flashes.
I eventually got a prescription for sleeping tablets which were a godsend.

Ah thank you!

My son has SN and was px Melatonin, it disagreed with him so I had a swig one night when I was desperate. Slept like a log lol

 

[soupmodel]

I‘m sorry but I do think you should stop trying to sell yourself as an adult mental health expert, it’s concerning, especially with some of the comments and accusations you’ve made on these threads. It’s also not about scaremongering it‘s about being honest. If anything you’re trying to belittle menopause concerns saying it’s rare symptoms are severe, making it more difficult for women to speak out. Many women suffer from insomnia/sleep deprivation, that in itself is severe for many, as it makes it difficult to function. As for ‘menopause specialists’ lucky you if you’ve managed to find one, the reality is it’s not as easy as you imply and I’m a little surprised in your line of work you don’t know that. I have had to do a lot of research myself (much science based) online and with the help of a male GP to find a better way through the menopause as I was told to avoid HRT, which thankfully has made a big difference but I was really struggling to cope.

Edit And it’s important for women to know even if their symptoms are severe they can be much improved.

Luckily it hasn't happened to me, when I started in my new workplace, I was alongside women who are a little older than me. No joke, 6 members of staff were going through it at the same time. Our managers had to go to their boss for training as all of them were struggling to manage and understand. Sometimes their HRT wasn't working or they had to try something else. One of my colleagues had to go private for a specific medication they were being refused on NHS and it's changed her life. In November, our work place brought in menopause support which entitles women to 5 paid days off, which is better than nothing.

Hormones impact EVERYTHING.

Seeing what they have went through, mood swings, soaked through hot flushes, no sleep, anxieties and depression, crazy periods and total brain fog - they are warriors and sometimes I really wish I wasn't a woman because medicine is biased to men and every single one of them has had to fight for their support to be in place.

 

[MrsDimSum]

This broke me. Her poor parents. As a parent myself, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain they are in at the moment. The not knowing must be overwhelming.

I feel that the message today came from them. Especially as they put "daughter" at the front of the list. I'm glad they're able to have a voice either separate or alongside Paul. I'm glad the girls have a good support network around them. And most importantly i am still praying that somehow she returns home alive and safe.

I also felt like todays message was from her parents, it felt very emotional 🥹

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Evening, hope all posters here tonight are ok . Lots of love your way.

 

[Facehugger]

my theory on why this is aliens:
the aliens shot down over the US all disappeared, means they have some sort of power that interacts with water
Nicola and her dog love water and she disappeared near water, so it can only mean that she’s an alien or been abducted by aliens
The family don’t want to tell us this because the government and police stopped them. They know!!! Open your eyes!!!

No, we haven't got her, it's not us

 

[soupmodel]

I think you've totally misread my post. Women are sharing their fears about menopause and the severity of it. The truth is not ALL women will get it that bad. SOME will - not all. This isn't dismissive; it's facts.

Some will also go through it in their early twenties, like my sister's friend. Just because some people don't suffer extremely does not dismiss those who do

 

[RinsedHoops]

Reading between the lines with the family's statement it seems they support the police's decision to release the information about Nicola because of the online speculation as well as the threats to sell stories.
The statement also seems to be supportive of Paul in my opinion. They're pleading with people to stop speculating about their life and relationship.

 

[Ally Pally]

Ah thank you!

My son has SN and was px Melatonin, it disagreed with him so I had a swig one night when I was desperate. Slept like a log lol

I would have done the same

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Just thinking about yesterday’s statement again.

It came from the police, saying they informed the family.

Now we know Mr Whata-twit basically forced their hand, and as awful as it is I do think on balance it’s the best way (IMO) for it to have come out rather than whatever disgusting spin the press would have put on it had they been the ones to run with it first.
(Obviously I wish it hadn’t had to come out at all)

The statement was rushed, that’s clear. It could have been worded far more sensitively. They were trying to beat the press and they were under pressure.

But… I wonder if the fact it was from the police with the family informed was deliberate so that, if Nicola is reading it somewhere, she doesn’t feel that her family have betrayed her by sharing her secrets with the nation. It was the police, not her loved ones. They were informed, not asked.

It makes me feel a teeny bit better to think like that, and it does make sense after the family’s statement today - they did that via the police, which they wouldn’t have done if that relationship had broken down.

 

[soupmodel]

There’s a difference between swearing in conversation, and using an expletive to refer to another person.

How do I teach my daughter this, she still gives me a scalding when I curse (never at her ).

I raised her to be too polite.

*Edit, I hit reply to the wrong quote

 

[Tangerine Cat]

Mark Williams-Thomas on a saturday evening after he’s popped one of his little blue pills….?

 

[soupmodel]

Not sure what the weather is like where you guys are, but if Nicola is out there I hope she is safe and sheltered.

It's bleeping miserable outside here in Scotland and has been for weeks

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

How do I teach my daughter this, she still gives me a scalding when I curse (never at her ).

I raised her to be too polite.

*Edit, I hit reply to the wrong quote

I have no idea!

I swear all the time in general conversation, but never ever around my kids. My eldest is 15 now and he’s never sworn around me. I think if I didn’t also have a 4 year old, I’d be more relaxed about my language now but I’m still so careful at home because the littlest hears *everything*

I’m trying to force myself to use some (mild) swears around my eldest but I just can’t do it, which my friends think is bleeping hilarious as they’re using to me swearing all the time