Nicola Bulley #12

[Dotty Merton]

Two things I want to say before I think about doing some chores.

1) @Tangerine Cat every time I see your name on here I have a wry smile. I’ve got a tangerine cat that visits me twice a day now and although I know he’s a feral, we are building up a nice friendship. He allows me to stroke him from a distance but won’t come in yet. He is really helping me after losing both of my dogs. I don’t even/or didn’t think I did, like bloody cats.

2) HRT…. Well I have made a right song and dance about HRT. Didn’t want to go down another pharmaceutical route as I try my hardest to stick to supplements etc. BUT… my menopause was just dragging me down. Hot flushes, aches, pains, bloating but the actual worse one of all is the brain fog. I’ve actually wondered if I’d got dementia and I still do as my memory, clarity, understanding and organisational skills have just gone. It really is horrid. So I’m giving it another go. I haven’t seen any improvement yet. The only side effect is really painful boobs, very similar to pre-menstrual or when breast feeding. Not nice at all we I’ll just try for a few months and see.

1) Cats heal. Get a catnip plant and he'll make you laugh too. How do you stroke him from a distance? Stretch arm strong arms? So sorry about your dogs.
2) The smallest dose 30mg is too high for me but none is no good. My boobs did what yours did and I started bleeding fortnightly. Someone said cut them in half. Oh my, I have been plain sailing since.

 

[Merpedy]

This post on Facebook got me. People are so thick.

my theory on why this is aliens:
the aliens shot down over the US all disappeared, means they have some sort of power that interacts with water
Nicola and her dog love water and she disappeared near water, so it can only mean that she’s an alien or been abducted by aliens
The family don’t want to tell us this because the government and police stopped them. They know!!! Open your eyes!!!

 

[JSquared]

I don't care. They're the police, the law inforcers, if someone was trying to force their hand they should have been dealt with. The police have gone rogue and tabloid. Not their role.

I believe they have released such information to stop stories being sold. It’s better coming from the police/family, than a spiteful newspaper.
IF Nicola is still alive, it’s been revealed in the kindest manner. Imagine what stories/lies people could sell just for a bit of money, that could tip her over the edge once and for all

ETA, it’s interesting the Lancs police have referred themselves to the watchdog over the 10th Jan incident and how it was dealt with since then

 

[Tilly3]

I‘m sorry but I do think you should stop trying to sell yourself as an adult mental health expert, it’s concerning, especially with some of the comments and accusations you’ve made on these threads. It’s also not about scaremongering it‘s about being honest. If anything you’re trying to belittle menopause concerns saying it’s rare symptoms are severe, making it more difficult for women to speak out. Many women suffer from insomnia/sleep deprivation, that in itself is severe for many, as it makes it difficult to function. As for ‘menopause specialists’ lucky you if you’ve managed to find one, the reality is it’s not as easy as you imply and I’m a little surprised in your line of work you don’t know that. I have had to do a lot of research myself (much science based) online and with the help of a male GP to find a better way through the menopause as I was told to avoid HRT, which thankfully has made a big difference but I was really struggling to cope.

Edit And it’s important for women to know even if their symptoms are severe they can be much improved.

Love this, well said

 

[Toffeebythesea]

Thank you Della, you know what I actually deleted the comment about a minute after I posted it because I thought people would say how dare you think they'll be ok so I'm glad you took it in the spirit it was intended X

It was a lovely comment.

 

[DellaC]

my theory on why this is aliens:
the aliens shot down over the US all disappeared, means they have some sort of power that interacts with water
Nicola and her dog love water and she disappeared near water, so it can only mean that she’s an alien or been abducted by aliens
The family don’t want to tell us this because the government and police stopped them. They know!!! Open your eyes!!!

Bang out of order.

The DOG WAS DRRRRRRYYYYY!

 

[Merpedy]

Bang out of order.

The DOG WAS DRRRRRRYYYYY!

Super alien powers obviously obviously

 

[lissy8219]

Mark Williams-Thomas.

Took the words right out my mouth!!

 

[DellaC]

Super alien powers obviously obviously

 

[lostmymind2]

I can’t even get my head around the last day or so and the police!! I really don’t know what their thinking is by allowing the public to know this really personal information. My mum is suffering horrifically with menopause at 59 and has done for years that to be honest I have gotten really irritated with her. This has really made me think differently!

Regarding the fairysteps user she stated and I don’t think anyone has picked up on it that there was 2 rivers near there and one went straight to the sea and they have lost several people to that river. Have they even checked that if they think the phone etc is a decoy?

Just a thought.

I’ve found this thread really comforting and enlightening thank you all for sharing your stories X

 

[EllaBella89]

Thank you Della, you know what I actually deleted the comment about a minute after I posted it because I thought people would say how dare you think they'll be ok so I'm glad you took it in the spirit it was intended X

I think a lot of people grow up to realise that their parents did their best. There’s obviously exceptions to that, but I think once you understand mental illness, addiction, generational trauma, depression, you understand that they did the best that they could, given the circumstances and as long as you were made to feel loved and cared for, then you will realise why they did certain things.
(Not talking about destructive abusive parents here that leave nothing but misery in their wake and never held themselves responsible for anything or sought any kind of help)

 

[Ally Pally]

O/T

Your post could have been written by me, except that I’m not on HRT.
Insomnia is so debilitating. I just want to sleep but I’m wide awake.
The fear of dementia is awful. The brain fog is so real.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been mid sentence and forgotten what I was saying. It’s embarrassing.
Even posting on here, I can sometimes lose track of what I was posting about and have to delete it unfinished.

That said compared to many, my peri menopause isn’t too bad. I’m not having mood swings and hot flushes are few and far between. Flooding isn’t much fun and my headaches/migraines have notched up a gear and take me out for a couple of days at a time.

Sorry to hear about your mum. I think someone said earlier that as women hit peri, many are dealing with caring for ageing parents too. It’s a double whammy.

We also need a menopause insomnia thread because at 3am there’s not many Tattlers about!

The sleep deprivation for me was the worst, I would spend all day literally dreading going back to bed and not sleeping. Looking back I should have asked for help a lot sooner!
Don't suffer in silence get help it is out there

 

[Dg19681]

my theory on why this is aliens:
the aliens shot down over the US all disappeared, means they have some sort of power that interacts with water
Nicola and her dog love water and she disappeared near water, so it can only mean that she’s an alien or been abducted by aliens
The family don’t want to tell us this because the government and police stopped them. They know!!! Open your eyes!!!

Oh my days

 

[Dotty Merton]

Blah blah blah.
Glad to see Lancs police have referred themselves.
Total joke. We've been chatting about the misogyny within the police, they've even apologised this week and now this. duck the police.

Mave, I luv you.

Who got mark williams thomas involved?

Himself. bleep. Wasn't it said it was he that suggested short man with big solar gun to Paul in the first place?

Wassock - Cantankerous - Mark what-a-twit - my little swan - words/terms I want to commit to my ongoing parlance

 

[DellaC]

The sleep deprivation for me was the worst, I would spend all day literally dreading going back to bed and not sleeping. Looking back I should have asked for help a lot sooner!
Don't suffer in silence get help it is out there

I work nights and I'm seriously looking to change that because that and the symptoms I'm currently experiencing are meaning I'm running on empty.

I fall asleep fine but it's like my head stays awake. Does that even make sense? I have fleeting repetitive thoughts all night long. And of course the lovely sweats but they come and go. Was that the same for you?

Sorry to derail but thought I'd ask.

It's a bloody shame for me, get your violins out

 

[Dotty Merton]

I can’t even get my head around the last day or so and the police!! I really don’t know what their thinking is by allowing the public to know this really personal information. My mum is suffering horrifically with menopause at 59 and has done for years that to be honest I have gotten really irritated with her. This has really made me think differently!

Regarding the fairysteps user she stated and I don’t think anyone has picked up on it that there was 2 rivers near there and one went straight to the sea and they have lost several people to that river. Have they even checked that if they think the phone etc is a decoy?

Just a thought.

I’ve found this thread really comforting and enlightening thank you all for sharing your stories X

Which river is that then I wonder? @Fairysteps11 There are loads of lakes in the wider area too, I didn't realise how wet and flat the geography was there. So many mud flats on the coast.

 

[Bekika]

Super alien powers obviously obviously

Maybe the dog WAS wet but the aliens blew him dry as they whisked his Mum away.

 

[stardust1]

Mave, I luv you.



Himself. bleep. Wasn't it said it was he that suggested short man with big solar gun to Paul in the first place?

Wassock - Cantankerous - Mark what-a-twit - my little swan - words/terms I want to commit to my ongoing parlance

Sorry for being thick but couldn’t the police have told him to duck off?

 

[Cupcakemum]

I see the media is scaremongering with the menopause now. Having worked in adult mental health services for my entire career, yes we do see people with menopausal symptoms but it's rare that these are very severe. This is going to lead to mass hysteria and fear amongst some women. Services have developed menopause-specific pathways, trained and appointed menopause specialists and created menopause groups. There is help out there. Nicola's menopause may be a aggrevating factor but we don't know if she had other predisposing difficulties.

It's not fair putting the fear of God into women. Yes it may be difficult, it may not. Let's not assume this case is typical.

It might not be that rare, it could be that it's misdiagnosed.
It's a known fact that GPs will diagnose MH problems when it's indeed a hormonal imbalance.
I'm in peri and doubted my MH with how low I was and my GP immediately suggested anti depressants with no real questions on my other symptoms.
I've suffered from Nicola's age, which isn't 'early', it's normal!
I stuck to my guns, knowing my body, and was 2 seconds away from mentioning NICE guidelines when my female GP (who you'd think would be more sympathetic) finally mentioned HRT and went through the health check for them with me and prescribed HRT. I'm one of the lucky ones that it worked for, which goes to show that it was my hormones and not my MH.

As a side note, I was told thought that HRT isn't for everyone and that some Anti D's can help with symptoms... something maybe for anyone who can't take it to look into...

Have a look at Diane Danzebrink's story, hers is one of many where woman have almost killed themselves because of hormones and thankfully she lived to tell the tale and is now a huge advocate for women.

There are pathways to specialists privately, but not easily on the NHS, if at all.. I'd assume you'd know that and be more empathic being in mental health. You do seem pretty judgemental for being in the profession you say you're in.

The thing I will agree with is that this new information about Nicola will put the fear of God in women who are at their lowest point, but because it's not been handled right and it needs handling incredibly sensitively and educationally.. like not saying it was early menopause!

My hope is that GPs, and clearly some MH professionals, will be forced to take a mandatory course in female hormones, peri and menopause.. then we will see lives, family lives and marriages saved

Eta.. if I'd told a GP or MH professional what I'd been going through in my family life now and historically they have misdiagnosed me with MH problems, when it really wasn't that at all

 

[DellaC]

Sorry for being thick but couldn’t the police have told him to duck off?

There must be some way they can gag him.

A truncheon maybe?