New Zealand Influencers #42

[HelloFreshDiscountCode]

Picking up from where we left off:

Katie Hawkey is giving up the midwife life and choosing to be a stay at home mum … to her 5 year old daughter who is now in school.
The homewares business seems to be a flop or maybe a quick tax write off. Or maybe it’s just not the market to be starting a luxury homewares brand in a housing and cost of living crisis??

Rebecca Keil is set to be a solo parent next year as her husband jets off to shag his way through Auckland immerse himself in his culture.
Ticket sales to the tit show that is funding this tit show appear to be slow with giveaways happening left right and centre. Maybe next time she could advertise her tickets and have them available to purchase more than 5 minutes before she starts touring

Louisa is crying over 9/11 but literally none of the other atrocities that are happening in the world.
Her daughters continue to be influencers in training and her hands continue to wave wildly around as she talks.

Elle Herself the postpartum queen is off overseas again and we all look forward to another YouTube instalment of surviving travel with twins as she continues to try coming across as a parenting expert while hiding her severe anxiety about going literally anywhere with her kids.

Cherie is in Rome, eating her way around the country and insulting the chefs by putting her own seasoning on all their delicious food. No offence Cherie, but I think they know how to cook darl …

Bernadebt is slowly drifting away from her Ronald McDonald era as she gets her hair colour stripped. We are all excited to see what pasta dish she resembles since she has gone from 2 minute noodles to spaghetti bolognaise .. what will it be next?

MFM is back from her mental health crisis and fresh into crying over Harry Potter fanfic. We were lost without her regular updates on what time she had her morning coffee and what the Auckland weather was doing.
The memes continue but this time they’re sprinkled with TikTok’s that not a single soul is laughing over except Maria.

SpongeBob aka 5kiwikids has finally taken the reins of their new business with the whopping opening hours of 9am-2pm. Not inconvenient to most people at all!
The shopping trolley and playground pictures continue, as well as constant pushing of her patreon every single time she gets a new follower, just in case that one might want to pay her to see her kids.

Officially Em is still running around in her underwear but this time with the added information on her period and exactly where in her cycle she is. We TOTALLY need to know all that information!
Instead of helping to remove the stigma around periods and menstruating she has instead made everyone cringe. Amazing.
Where is her husband while all this is happening? Smoking weed in the garage probably.

Ethically Kate becomes the laughing stock of the internet by sharing her cringy traditions with her husband. Instead of backing herself and standing by her little rituals, she turned off the comments.

Love From Your Dads went quiet for a time and we all secretly hoped it was because he was stuck in Bali jail for trying to play the system. Realistically he would have just paid off the police and carried on being irresponsible but dreams are free!

Tits Up girl Chris is currently overseas and complaining about being with “the oldies” aka the people she booked her holiday with.
She manages to make a great trip look like a tit time but realistically we can’t understand her still so maybe she actually is enjoying herself …

Holly May is still MIA and none of us care.
But if you want to support her weed habit you can join her private Instagram for $50 and see what she’s up to.

Talz is back but tbh I didn’t notice she was gone so maybe someone else can update her section.

Simone Anderson and Just Jess have their own threads which are both worth a scroll if only for a laugh.

 

[ThanksForTheSuggestion]

When 5kiwikids isn’t filling up supermarket trolleys, at muffin break or making lunch boxes, she’s in here….pretending she isn’t

Kristen in bloom has joined the #beigeape world, refusing to add any colour to hers or her child’s wardrobe. She’s also using every opportunity known to man to get some free stuff in her greedy little hands

Renee J still thinks everyone hates her and is STILL the victim in every interaction she has outside of her home. Has also started business number 56735 selling fake sparkly hair to little children. We are all waiting with baited breath to see what her next amazing business idea will be

 

[Pentothal]

Watched Elleherselfs video titled "My daughter's surgery, a working mum's journey"


You would expect a story about a female child having surgery. No. Turns our Revie NEEDS grommets like her brother. But they can't get them, luckily they have medical insurance, until they get back from the USA trip, her sister is shouting them again. Let's hope Elle remembers her manners and thanks her sister, instead of moaning.

And not a good look recording the video, with a child in the back, whilst you are driving.. Eyes on the road

 

[Influenzemylyfe]

Holly May is back.

 

[notmadjustdisappointed]

OE I'm-so-poor-I-make-my-kids-do-chores-for-money-to-buy-their-own-birthday-presents and wear no shoes buys 4 bottles of wine and spends $280 on groceries which she said was "not too bad". I bet a lot of the country would love to spend that much on groceries - especially if other people are paying for them in the way of patreon and "social media business courses"

 

[DuchessofOceania]

When 5kiwikids isn’t filling up supermarket trolleys, at muffin break or making lunch boxes, she’s in here….pretending she isn’t

Kristen in bloom has joined the #beigeape world, refusing to add any colour to hers or her child’s wardrobe. She’s also using every opportunity known to man to get some free stuff in her greedy little hands

Renee J still thinks everyone hates her and is STILL the victim in every interaction she has outside of her home. Has also started business number 56735 selling fake sparkly hair to little children. We are all waiting with baited breath to see what her next amazing business idea will be

Selling fake plastic hair

isn’t plastic the opposite of her views
for other stuff?

 

[HelloFreshDiscountCode]

OE I'm-so-poor-I-make-my-kids-do-chores-for-money-to-buy-their-own-birthday-presents and wear no shoes buys 4 bottles of wine and spends $280 on groceries which she said was "not too bad". I bet a lot of the country would love to spend that much on groceries - especially if other people are paying for them in the way of patreon and "social media business courses"

God I’d love some wine in with my groceries, even at $8 a bottle!
We have a STRICT budget for our family and there’s absolutely no way we can go over it because we simply don’t have the money in our account.
These people wouldn’t survive living how the majority of New Zealand currently is. It would be a huge shock to them.

 

[Bluntastitganache]

OE I'm-so-poor-I-make-my-kids-do-chores-for-money-to-buy-their-own-birthday-presents and wear no shoes buys 4 bottles of wine and spends $280 on groceries which she said was "not too bad". I bet a lot of the country would love to spend that much on groceries - especially if other people are paying for them in the way of patreon and "social media business courses"

She's gonna get cancelled soon I can feel it in my bones.

 

[#justanotherone]

OE I'm-so-poor-I-make-my-kids-do-chores-for-money-to-buy-their-own-birthday-presents and wear no shoes buys 4 bottles of wine and spends $280 on groceries which she said was "not too bad". I bet a lot of the country would love to spend that much on groceries - especially if other people are paying for them in the way of patreon and "social media business courses"

4 bottles of wine @ $30 but what were the treats/party food for the kids??? I can see a few snack foods on the list but is that school lunch snacks or was that the snacks for the weekend?

 

[Bluntastitganache]

4 bottles of wine @ $30 but what were the treats/party food for the kids??? I can see a few snack foods on the list but is that school lunch snacks or was that the snacks for the weekend?

Poor kids will probably get carrot and raisin sandwiches and celery sticks !!

 

[Blah_already]

4 bottles of wine @ $30 but what were the treats/party food for the kids??? I can see a few snack foods on the list but is that school lunch snacks or was that the snacks for the weekend?

I can see a couple of packets of Pascalls lollies on there, guess that's the party food

 

[Bluntastitganache]

Let's have a fun vote

WHICH INFULENCER HUSBAND ENABLES THEIR WIFE THE MOST

a) AJ
b) Steve
c) Jarrod Keil
d) Chicken Seasoning
e) Phil
f) Harley
g) Alivin
H) Trenti
I) All of the above

 

[#botsforlife]

Let's have a fun vote

WHICH INFULENCER HUSBAND ENABLES THEIR WIFE THE MOST

a) AJ
b) Steve
c) Jarrod Keil
d) Chicken Seasoning
e) Phil
f) Harley
g) Alivin

H) Trenti

 

[Bluntastitganache]

H) Trenti

updated !! thanks

 

[#justanotherone]

Let's have a fun vote

WHICH INFULENCER HUSBAND ENABLES THEIR WIFE THE MOST

a) AJ
b) Steve
c) Jarrod Keil
d) Chicken Seasoning
e) Phil
f) Harley
g) Alivin
H) Trenti

A, b, C, g are all the same person aren't they, with their lack of wanting to work or look after the kids (tho g does seem to be the only one that does want something to do with his kids)

 

[#gifted#]

OE I'm-so-poor-I-make-my-kids-do-chores-for-money-to-buy-their-own-birthday-presents and wear no shoes buys 4 bottles of wine and spends $280 on groceries which she said was "not too bad". I bet a lot of the country would love to spend that much on groceries - especially if other people are paying for them in the way of patreon and "social media business courses"

I bet her fans loved to hear she's got $16k kicking around while they fund her. Bet she lost a few after that, and somehow made it into a 'poor me'

 

[justanothergofundme]

Let's have a fun vote

WHICH INFULENCER HUSBAND ENABLES THEIR WIFE THE MOST

a) AJ
b) Steve
c) Jarrod Keil
d) Chicken Seasoning
e) Phil
f) Harley
g) Alivin
H) Trenti
I) All of the above

Can we vote for Misery Guts whose with Christiantossbag

 

[justhereforthetea2022]

Errmmm how about being a parent for your kids how long will Phil put up with this silly behaviour?

 

[Bluntastitganache]

Can we vote for Misery Guts whose with Christiantossbag

YES!! j)

 

[hereforfreestuff]

Incase anyone was wondering- Pori mahmah is currently trying to get her moneys worth at all you can eat tacos and is up to 9….. the gross over consumption this girl does is horrendous, while blaming society/healthcare system for not accepting her. She’s a walking heart attack. You can be big and healthy, she is grossly overweight and will not live a long life, but she doesn’t seem to care