New Baby & Post Birth Off Topic #2 Ffs Matthew, Grow Some Breasts

[Hotel_breakfast]

I feel you as I get the odd days where I’m like, what did I do with my time before I had a 15 month old. But at the same time, I love mini justme to pieces and couldn’t imagine my life without him.

Being a single parent I can relate as it often feels like I have no time at all to myself, everything just feels like a rush and I’ve turned down a lot of outings just like you because I would rather not think about how tired I’ll be after. I still don’t have any evenings at the moment and mini justme is up first thing. With teething and milestones, we still have wake ups throughout the night.

I went out for a meal with some friends last month, none of them have kids and I found it slightly amusing that they were all tired by the end of it and they kept saying they couldn’t wait to get home to bed asap whereas I was thinking omg I hope mini justme sleeps the majority of the night tonight otherwise I will be ruined tomorrow!! I did feel slightly jealous that they could go home and wake up whatever time they wanted the next day - and just be free. That was the first time I had been out in months and honestly, if it wasn’t a birthday I probably would have cancelled because the tiredness, work, house, life is exhausting enough without the social side also I get what you mean about more family time. With being back at work, the thought of doing social outings, being more tired and then missing out on time with toddler is a difficult balance to get. I’m trying to find it as people keep telling me I ‘need’ a break I’m lucky I have understanding friends because the way I take ages to reply to anything these days is crazy but it’s difficult, hats off to you with the two though, superwoman.

Sorry I don’t have advice but just wanted you to know, I get the feelings too and putting yourself last most of the time. Solidarity also thanks for bringing this topic up, I clearly needed this outlet too.

It must be so hard to find the balance as a single parent too, hugs to you! I'm glad you have understanding friends too. Mine are also on the whole but sometimes I feel self conscious that they don't understand or I'm being really awkward because they don't have kids yet and I think some of them had the impression that kids get tucked up in bed at 7pm and that's that so I feel like I have to explain my parenting choices with breastfeeding, not sleep training etc. not that they say anything but I just get paranoid y'know? One did bring up sleep training with my first when I mentioned she was waking in the evenings but I shut it down and that was that.

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Having one of those days I'm finding it hard to not feel jealous of friends without kids. I love my children to bits and I know this is just a hard phase but I have no life in the evenings, I can't go out because baby breakfast wakes so often still at nearly 11 months. And I'm also just so fricking tired that the thought of staying out past 10 fills me with anxiety at how tired I'd feel afterwards. So I'm stuck to doing things in the daytime but that doesn't always work for them and it also involves co-ordinating my eldest's activities. I also had to miss a girls weekend away last month and I've only been back in work 3 weeks but I've already missed 2 lots of leaving drinks after work because I've wanted to be back for bedtime. Anyway, just feels like I'm not doing a great job at anything at the moment, work, parenting, friendships, relationship with Mr Breakfast and finally (as always at the bottom of the list) looking after myself.

In some ways it was easier being in lockdown during this phase with my eldest, I wasn't missing out on much and doing quizzes online at home worked for me.

I love little WC to bits and his smiles breaks my heart and repairs it all at the same time but I do still struggle with wishing for "before" me. Just simple things like we're getting our bathroom done this week - no big issue to him as he's not toilet trained and we've been bathing him in a plastic bath since he was born due to only having a shower cubicle - but it's meant both me and my OH have to go out to shower. OH can shower at work but I'm showering at the gym. If we didn't have kids, I'd be going before or after work as I wouldn't be off, and probably meeting my OH there. I think I'd probably have persuaded him to take the weekend away somewhere and we'd have booked a little weekend break with a parkrun in the morning somewhere new and a nice hotel room, and some activities for the days.

 

[opintionatedperson]

My mother is hilarious, tells me not to contact nap as he will get used of it .. caught her doing the same today but it's ok as she's the grandmother different rules eh...

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Little miss has learned to climb the stairs, we have no stair gates and it’s _all_ she wants to do. Who in the world climbs stairs for fun? TF. That’s who. Send help and patience and another set of hands to get stuff done.

 

[Nosysamsie]

Little miss has learned to climb the stairs, we have no stair gates and it’s _all_ she wants to do. Who in the world climbs stairs for fun? TF. That’s who. Send help and patience and another set of hands to get stuff done.

I feel ya! My little one likes to climb on everything, her toy box being her fave. Shes a maniac

 

[loveanatter]

Little miss has learned to climb the stairs, we have no stair gates and it’s _all_ she wants to do. Who in the world climbs stairs for fun? TF. That’s who. Send help and patience and another set of hands to get stuff done.

We went through a phase of this!!! So annoying
Good luck! X

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Having a really bad night tonight I dunno what's wrong - I think I'm due on at the end of the week so it's probably that. Had a nice day swimming with LO this morning and a fairly good afternoon entertaining him in the house. Then OH came home, we watched some Bluey (the new episode 'The Surprise') and I've been a crying wreck since. I managed to get myself to the gym but I'm so deeply sad and I can't figure out why. I start back at work later this week and now I've got my permit sorted I don't feel that stressed or upset about it (if I ignore all the tit that's gone down with changing my job role).

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Genuinely get so irritated with my husband. I have sold a few things on Vinted so was pulling them out the Vinted bag to prepare to send, he asks me for a body suit for TF, so I hand him a body suit, as I’ve turned to pick up the Vinted things THEYVE GONE. He’s taken them thinking they’re madam’s clothes for the day and is about to put her in them give me strength

 

[Hotel_breakfast]

Genuinely get so irritated with my husband. I have sold a few things on Vinted so was pulling them out the Vinted bag to prepare to send, he asks me for a body suit for TF, so I hand him a body suit, as I’ve turned to pick up the Vinted things THEYVE GONE. He’s taken them thinking they’re madam’s clothes for the day and is about to put her in them give me strength

What is it with men putting the kids in clothes that are too small?! My husband is generally quite good with sharing the mental load but the kids clothes is my department and it's basically a full time job keeping on top of what fits, donating or storing ot selling and then buying new stuff or getting the next size up out of storage

 

[kayefeluu20]

I remember being pregnant and thinking cereal was bleeping mint, now I'm sat here eating coco pops watching baby Kaye furiously roll around the rug and I've realised, it's not all that. Gutted I spent £4.50 on the box now.

 

[easyliketuesdayafternoon]

I remember being pregnant and thinking cereal was bleeping mint, now I'm sat here eating coco pops watching baby Kaye furiously roll around the rug and I've realised, it's not all that. Gutted I spent £4.50 on the box now.

I couldn't eat any of the good cereals during pregnancy due to my stupid gestational diabetes and I remember being so buzzed about being able to eat it again that I splashed out like £10 on some effing Lucky pissing Charms....and the disappointment was unreal

 

[Jellycat369]

Probably not the best idea going to a trampoline park 5 weeks pp for my toddler's birthday. My pelvic floor was not happy Oh well, at least I had a good time

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Had such a full on day yesterday with the girls. I love 5 so much but she has such a terrific capacity for talking and I do not. It has really taken so much out of me I feel like my battery has been totally depleted- even sleep didn’t help. She hasn’t really stopped today either. Husband has just taken the girls to swimming as I said I really need some time to myself. I just want to lay on the floor in silence.

 

[loveanatter]

Had such a full on day yesterday with the girls. I love 5 so much but she has such a terrific capacity for talking and I do not. It has really taken so much out of me I feel like my battery has been totally depleted- even sleep didn’t help. She hasn’t really stopped today either. Husband has just taken the girls to swimming as I said I really need some time to myself. I just want to lay on the floor in silence.

Yes my 4 year old can only be described as a chatter box - it’s constant! So I completely understand how you feel!!!
Mine took them all out this morning and I sat in an absolute silence for about 20 mins and I think it was the best 20 mins of the week

 

[waffleberry]

Yes my 4 year old can only be described as a chatter box - it’s constant! So I completely understand how you feel!!!
Mine took them all out this morning and I sat in an absolute silence for about 20 mins and I think it was the best 20 mins of the week

Solidarity @WeHadFunRight @loveanatter . For me, it was the barrage of questions from berry junior that did me in. Always questions that I don't quite know how to answer. Like no, I don't know why we have two nostrils? We just do. And always while I'm driving.

I think hell will freeze over before Mr Berry offers to take both kids out simultaneously so I can take a minute to myself.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Solidarity @WeHadFunRight @loveanatter . For me, it was the barrage of questions from berry junior that did me in. Always questions that I don't quite know how to answer. Like no, I don't know why we have two nostrils? We just do. And always while I'm driving.

I think hell will freeze over before Mr Berry offers to take both kids out simultaneously so I can take a minute to myself.

Oh no! Tell him he must!

what is it about when you’re driving makes them want to get really philosophical? Mine is a bit of a worrier so I played 3 little birds to her in the car the other day thinking she would really like the message, but what she did instead was pull apart and over analyse the lyrics and ask me questions about it. And it’s on days like these I wish I did drugs.

 

[WeepingCassandra]

I'm dreading the questions phase. I'm terrrrrible at talking to anyone under the age of about 22, and tend to go too far into the explanations and lose kids very quickly with my answers.

 

[loveanatter]

Solidarity @WeHadFunRight @loveanatter . For me, it was the barrage of questions from berry junior that did me in. Always questions that I don't quite know how to answer. Like no, I don't know why we have two nostrils? We just do. And always while I'm driving.

I think hell will freeze over before Mr Berry offers to take both kids out simultaneously so I can take a minute to myself.

Omg in the car. We did 6 hours on Friday and I don’t think he shut up for any of it
He’s also obsessed with cars and so likes to tell you the make of cars he can see if nothing else

oh you’ve got to encourage/make him. I don’t think I could do it if Mr Natter didn’t. Even if it’s so I can do a food shop by myself or something equally as mundane - walking out the door by myself is a big deep sigh quite often! Xxx

 

[kayefeluu20]

I'm dreading the questions phase. I'm terrrrrible at talking to anyone under the age of about 22, and tend to go too far into the explanations and lose kids very quickly with my answers.

I'm 23 and terrible at talking to people under the age of 22 as well

 

[Jellycat369]

"Failed" the six week mental health check But on the plus side I saw the physio about the pains I'm having in my groin and I've been given exercises to do and an emergency referral to the physio team for further support. Win some, lose some