New baby / post birth advice

[Hbirdette]

Well; that’s £250 down on a Joie swivel car seat! Thank you for the advice the other day. Wondering why I didn’t just buy this in the first place as it has a newborn insert
I’ve downloaded a couple of baby weaning books tonight, for future reference. I’m not nervous really, I’m just confused about when and where I reduce his milk feeds. Saying that, I thought that about when I was trying to get baby into a routine and it kind of just gradually happened
one thing I will say,and I hope I don’t offend anyone but I can’t get over the stuff that is marketed for weaning. I saw this thing earlier by a company called “Beaba”(?) oh mygoodness it’s so expensive!!! Like £160 for a steamer and blender I’ve added a steamer and a blender into my Amazon basket and it’s come to about 30 quid!

 

[Tui]

Maternity pads (the bigger the better) big knickers and if you end up having stitches please please don’t do what I did in the love bubble/adrenaline haze and think you can be up and about and doing everything like normal - take it easy, bed rest if you can but not practical for most. I regret it so much now and the extra pain was not the one. And make sure you have food prepped or money for takeaways that first week or so (at the very least the first night home) our friends brought round some curries etc and To this day it’s the most thoughtful present I’ve ever received because I hadn’t thought about eating and the thought of making a meal was not the most exciting prospect

Agree about not trying to get up and about and take it as easy as you can. Accept any help offered. Ignore the laundry and cleaning wherever possible. Some people boast about how early they were out doing normal things, some people have no choice or were ok doing that but it’s equally ok to do what I did and veg at home for a few weeks before you’re ready to face the world!

 

[Hbirdette]

Is it trampy if the health visitor comes this morning and I’m still in my pyjamas? Asking for a friend

 

[Kit123]

Oh my goodness, sending all the love to the mamas! I know it's really crappy of me to say but things will get easier. And it's so soon that we can all hang out with our families soon (and they can help)

 

[WhatABore]

I know everybody says to stay positive and only read positive birth stories etc, which I do get, but honestly I read up on eveything, forceps, c sections, tears, inductions etc and ended up with a forceps delivery with a 4th degree tear and I honestly think if I hadn’t read up on it prior it would have been much more traumatic, it was a difficult experience dont get me wrong but because I knew what it was I feel like I was able to accept it a bit more, for me the more I knew the better

I second this! When I was pregnant with my first, everyone told me to avoid the bad ones. But I wanted to know what things could happen!
It was better for myself reading it all!

 

[Definitelyme]

Ladies, I think this is one of those “am I being unreasonable?” questions. So obviously we’ve not long had a baby, he is our fourth, and it’s definitely true that the more babies you have the fewer cards & gifts you get on their arrival. That doesn’t bother me in general, I don’t expect other people to really bother or be overly interested. However, I have realised that my MIL & FIL didn’t give us a card or a present this time. They are lovely people, great grandparents, and are generous people. They usually just send a card and a little cuddly toy- nothing major (they live 500 miles away) but just a little token. I thought they hadn’t this time and they’d bring it when they came to visit, but they never did. Not even a card. Now my SIL (their daughter) is about to have a baby and she lives elsewhere, and there has already been talk of what they are sending her. So we get nothing at all, and she will. I feel like it’s really unfair and I’m (irrationally?) annoyed that our baby wasn’t really acknowledged by them. Am I being silly?

Looking for some advice please! My little girl is 6 weeks and she’s got dry skin on her forehead and some spots on her face (I’ve googled and it looks like baby acne). Should I just leave it or would you recommend to use any products on it?

Dry skin I would maybe pop some moisturiser on, baby acne just leave. Usually starts at 6 weeks and is gone in 2-3 weeks all mine had them, some pretty badly, but they totally disappear

 

[Pinkii]

I’ve been feeling this, baby is now 7 weeks and I’m starting to feel physically ok after my section and want to go back to the gym (obvs still taking it slow) as I used to go almost everyday even in my last week of pregnancy and I’m starting to feel a bit down about myself and want to shift some fluff.

My partner says it’s totally fine and he has the baby covered but I feel really bad for some reason about doing something for myself even though it will make me feel 100x better!

Don’t feel bad, you need time for yourself, doing things that make you happy will make you a better happier mum in the long run, it will be a couple of hours of your day and will be good for your husband to have bonding time

 

[Stimpii]

Absolute hero to just dander home after birth!!

I also walked to the hospital while in labour with them both. People always think I’m crazy But no way was I getting in a taxi while having contractions, esp when the hospital was so close.

 

[Heybooboo]

I have a bit of a sensitive issue and don’t really know where appropriate to ask but you guys always give the best advice so apologies it’s not new baby related but toddler related..
my son is 2.5 and keeps waking up from his nap distraught and pulling at his nappy because he has an erection. I’ve tried taking the nappy off thinking it was painful against it but then he wanted it back on and was even more upset I took it off. At the moment I’m just letting him cry it out as I don’t know what to do. Has anyone else had experience with this? It’s just the last 2 weeks but I feel a bit useless

 

[NP]

My other half can only take a week off after my c-section so my dad is taking the week off after that to help with the school run for my eldest and he’ll pop by to help with the toddler if needed. I’m hoping he doesn’t bring the whole clan along. There’s my mum, and then my brother still lives at home and he’s on furlough. My family have a tendency to visit (before lockdown I should add) and stay for the entire day. I can imagine them all popping by sat in our tiny living room while I’m trying to establish breastfeeding (first time breastfeeding so I’m clueless) so I perhaps need to say something now to give them a heads up about expectations. Not sure what to say that isn’t, “Please don’t all come round for the entire day”

 

[HeyLetsGo]

I seen a tiktok of a woman saying her friend had a baby and struggling to do anything so she went round, ordered them coffees, lunch, watched the baby so mum could nap and shower and it really hit me how I don't have anyone like that in my life it really is true what they say, when you have a baby you see who your real friends are. I just wish baby/toddler classes would open here again soon so I could try make some mum friends (I'm tired and emotional if you can't tell haha)

I don’t have anyone like that either, I don’t think many people do that woman is so lucky

 

[StrawberryCream]

Does anyone have any helpful tips to help the baby blues? I'm on day 3 of them and my god I feel like an awful emotional big mess. I'm really worried if it's just normal to feel this way or not as I really struggled with PNA/PND after my first. Just finding life difficult/not much support/dealing with toddler and newborn life and feel like the weight of the worlds on my shoulders. I'm just exhausted

I got the baby blues on day 3 the same day I got my milk through, the hormones must go crazy around then. I was crying at the tiniest things, totally sleep deprived, shouting at my 3 year old and then crying because I felt like the worst mum and had a big row with my husband and told him I don’t even know if I want to be with him anymore. I’m 15 days post birth now and the hormones have settled down and I feel more tired than bursting into tears, that first week was really hard and I don’t remember feeling it the baby blues that badly with my first. I hope it settles for you soon but you are not alone, it is really hard and I agree with other posters men do not understand at all

 

[moimoi]

Exactly this I don’t understand how people don’t have the time to shower etc, can understand a bit more if your a single parent but my husband works 12 hr shifts 5/6 days a week and I still managed to get the time to shower it’s usually in the evening when my daughters asleep Of course your baby comes first and if your childs needs have been met there’s nothing wrong with taking a bit of time for yourself whether that’s to eat or shower you have to look after yourself too. I think that’s why so many feel like they’ve lost themselves after they’ve had a baby cause they never make time for themselves even if it’s only half an hr out of the day I’m sure you can get half a hr at some point like does your child never sleep lol

I’ve been feeling this, baby is now 7 weeks and I’m starting to feel physically ok after my section and want to go back to the gym (obvs still taking it slow) as I used to go almost everyday even in my last week of pregnancy and I’m starting to feel a bit down about myself and want to shift some fluff.

My partner says it’s totally fine and he has the baby covered but I feel really bad for some reason about doing something for myself even though it will make me feel 100x better!

 

[Hairraiser]

Regarding the weight, if you're worried, I'd say contact the health visitors? As they're always there. They can get you into a clinic to be properly weighed and they'll let you know if it's a concern. My daughter is almost 12 weeks though, and she's 10lb 15oz. And she was born 5 days over due. So his weight, especially being premature, sounds good to me, but I guess it's more down to what his birth weight was ect.

As for the birth thing, I was the complete opposite to you. My traumatic experience completely put me off having another and it took me 3 years to basically force myself into it and I still wasn't really ready. I was petrified. Everytime I thought about birth, I was having panic attacks.
I can't offer much advice but there is help out there as you said, you've already contacted them. And from a friends experience, it seems they do a good job!

The bonding thing though, make sure you discuss this with them too. However, I had always thought this and felt this way with bonding. Because I was busy comparing myself to everything you see. I never felt all that overwhelming love that people tell you about. I still don't really feel it now. I adore being a Mum but I can't say I've ever felt it. Obviously I'd never want anything bad to happen to them and I do love them. It's very hard to explain!

Thank you for your reply!

Yeah I think I will contact the HV this week, although he has a GP appointment Thursday for his flat head (it never ends ) so will ask them too.

It’s weird cause I also get panic attacks now and again thinking about it , but when I’m having a really positive day I’m thinking about another baby to be able to do it all again..then again I have zero control over how it’s going to be and do I really want to go through all of that again at the risk of my life and my babies life?

I know what you mean about the bonding thing, I don’t feel the same as some mums on my social media, getting upset about leaving them for a few hours or over protective over who holds him etc.. don’t get me wrong I love being a mum, Christ I’ve been to hell and back to get here but I do find some days difficult and I do appreciate an hour or two to just nip out and do something for myself while he’s with his dad. A friend of mine has a 15 month old and she only just this week let his dad take him to the park on their own, she was crying cause she missed him , I can’t relate as I make sure my husband has lots of time with his son especially at the weekend, I will join them of course but if I go off and do the food shop they like to go out for a walk or to visit friends/family. It just works for us..

 

[Hbirdette]

Silver cups, ive not heard of them i will check them out.

I'm having another crisis now. Baby just threw up and it was like a browny colour with blood in it. I'm trying not to panic ive read that it can be blood swallowed during birth or from my nipples. Going to let the midwife know but its stressing me because ive not had this with my previous two. Has anyone else had this??

Baby is less than a week, right? Sounds similar to me. My baby vomited browny/red stuff when he was a few days old and I was still in hospital so could ask. They checked and said it was old mucus from the birth that had just been sitting on his chest. Frightened the life out of me! It only happened once. I would keep an eye on it if baby seems ok otherwise but it never does any harm to mention to the midwife!

 

[littlepup]

Ladies what prams/travel systems do you have for your little ones and how much did you pay? I'm due in July and just started looking for a pram and there's just too much choice!

I think it really depends on what you need. Will you be mostly on pavement or off road? Need to take public transport or something that collapses small for the car? Potential to convert to a double at a later stage?

I got a bugaboo cameleon secondhand for £100 but we went to John Lewis and picked it as the best for our needs then I looked to see if I could find a decent second hand one, prepared to buy new if not. We needed something for countryside walks, no public transport or pavement. It’s decent, I like that you can (at quite an expense) change some of the trim for different colours so it can be personalised but I’m glad we didn’t pay £800 because there are a few things that are really annoying and I would look for if choosing again.

- better basket, while I don’t do my shopping with it so didn’t think it mattered much, I now realise it’s good to have a large, accessible basket to put the change bag or spare blankets etc in.

- I’d make it lock together when down. It’s easy enough to to put up and down but it doesn’t lock when collapsed so getting it in and out of the boot without it half springing open is painful. Not a prob if you don’t put in car slot obvs.

- Make cup holder removable - so silly but the cup holder, a mega handy extra, once added is fixed and makes it about 5 inches wider so really awkward to get through door ways. I’d just check adding any extras wonchange the dimensions in future.

We have a joie car seat which fits in but they just changed advice to allowing them to be in it even less time & at 3 months it’s almost already too heavy with her for me to unclip and pull off the frame which you have to kind of do with one motion alone so it’s becoming redundant as part of the travel system. I’d still go for a car seat that’s not fixed in the car for a new born though as they’re not easy to get them in and adjusted so it better to do that in the warm house and carry them out than bending over an open door in the rain. Also, the seat itself is warmer for a winter baby putting them into one in a cold car. Plus it allows you to carry them into appointments/ shops in Something other than your arms.

Sorry for the essay I spent sooooo long on all this though and didn’t really come across these points x

 

[HeyLetsGo]

Any recommendations for cradle cap? I keep finding myself picking at it

My little one had really bad cradle cap her hair would come out in chunks with the bits of skin

Dentinox cradle cap shampoo sorted it out no bother though.

For the mamas postpartum flakey scalp and hair loss the body shop ginger shampoo is great (at the risk of sounding like swfeebs ) my hair stopped falling out and my flaky scalp cleared up after 1 or 2 washes.

 

[HumphreyB]

Am I doing it wrong? Mine’s 3 weeks, (on a good night) waking every 2 hours or so for a feed, so we change his nappy every time he’s up before a feed, either a wee or poo! He always seems to lose his shit even when he just has a wet nappy, so can’t imagine waiting until the morning to change?! Do people generally only change dirty nappies at night?

I always changed my babies with every feed during the night. I preferred to change them when they woke first. It kinda disturbed them enough that they would be more awake and eager to feed. Bottle fed so they were feeding every 4 hours.

 

[Pinkii]

Thanks ladies re: water and formula, I was definitely over thinking it and will still clear of bottled water if I do!

Is formula feeding as much of a faff as it seems to be?! All of the steps and instructions seem a lot when I read them! And do you have any tips to cool down boiled water quicker? Waiting 30 mins seems a lot if you have a hungry baby?

you don’t need to wait for 30 mins, you need to make sure its not left longer than 30 mins after being boiled as it won’t be hot enough to kill anything harmful in the formula.

at home perfect prep is a life saver, it does a hot shot, you mix formula and then it tops it up with cool water and makes it perfect temp

For out and about if you dont want to use ready made feed, you can do have 2 flasks, one for hot water and then another where u have cooled boiled water.

then do a shot of hot water and mix the formula (30ml is usually what prep machine does) and then top up the rest with cool boiled water from another flask.

its sounds like a hassle buts its pretty quick

 

[WhatABore]

Ladies, I think this is one of those “am I being unreasonable?” questions. So obviously we’ve not long had a baby, he is our fourth, and it’s definitely true that the more babies you have the fewer cards & gifts you get on their arrival. That doesn’t bother me in general, I don’t expect other people to really bother or be overly interested. However, I have realised that my MIL & FIL didn’t give us a card or a present this time. They are lovely people, great grandparents, and are generous people. They usually just send a card and a little cuddly toy- nothing major (they live 500 miles away) but just a little token. I thought they hadn’t this time and they’d bring it when they came to visit, but they never did. Not even a card. Now my SIL (their daughter) is about to have a baby and she lives elsewhere, and there has already been talk of what they are sending her. So we get nothing at all, and she will. I feel like it’s really unfair and I’m (irrationally?) annoyed that our baby wasn’t really acknowledged by them. Am I being silly?




Dry skin I would maybe pop some moisturiser on, baby acne just leave. Usually starts at 6 weeks and is gone in 2-3 weeks all mine had them, some pretty badly, but they totally disappear

My Mum didn't with this baby either. I don't expect gifts but the other 2 she was constantly wanting to see them, buying cute outfits, everything.(until the baby stage ended that is)
This time, she only sees her every few weeks, if that and that's only if I lug all 3 kids round there by myself