I’m the same with sleep. MM’s naps have been absolutely tit (I include the 2.5 hour nap with waking up at 6:30pm in that) and as she’s in her own room, I’m not putting her in the bed with me. Last night she was awake 11-1am, I ended up actually leaving her whilst she was crying (she stopped after ten mins and chattered for a further 45 mins before falling asleepActually, if you read my post you'll see that I was able to hold my baby once every few hours for an entire week as he was in the jaundice light chamber for so long. If someone had said "we'll do his next two feeds, don't worry" rather than "Yes, you do need to keep staying awake 24 hours a day to attend to his needs even though you've been awake for 4 days already and 2 of those days were in labour resulting in surgery" I could have gotten a decent chain of sleep, that's all. I really struggle if I don't get enough sleep and for me I would always prioritise sleep, I'd rather not eat, leave the house, do anything else than be sleep deprived. There's a reason the military use sleep deprivation as a torture technique!
FWIW, there's a birth centre in my local area which does actually provide overnight support for new parents who are struggling or need a rest which you can be referred into. They also allow people to come and stay for 24 - 48 hours in the first 3 or 4 weeks to provide breast feeding support and also help with general care for the baby, so if you're completely clueless and struggling like I was then it's a space where you can go and learn how to do the basics. It is much more common in a lot of other countries to provide new parents with a lot more support than we do - and indeed when my mum had me and my sister in the UK in the late 80s and early 90s the babies were taken away over night to a nursery to allow new mums to sleep and heal! For me I'm certain having that routine made my postnatal depression worse and really set us up on the wrong foot. It's not for everyone, that's true but for me it would have been a god send. I couldn't access the birth centre local to us for a few reasons but wish I had pushed for it. I guess I see it as yet another reduction of NHS services... maternity services are so dire atm and my local one has recently been the centre of a Panorama investigation... [For context I work in the NHS too]
It is certainly different for all parents and I'll be first to admit that I also struggled to bond with my baby, needing support from the infant bonding team etc. but I don't think having a healthy baby and having him with me 24/7 at all times would have helped with that. I'm the first to admit that I've never been one of these mums who lives, breathes, sleeps their babybut that's my own personal situation to manage. I love him with all my heart but it is hard being a parent whatever your circumstances which we can all agree on and perhaps a nicer start might have made things a bit easier for us.
I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else but that's my personal opinion and you're welcome to disagree all you like. I don't want anyone to read this thread and think their opinions aren't welcome because it is a hugely useful support network for new parents.
Anyway.
My boss has emailed me regarding my return to work and given me a date two weeks earlier than the one I came up with when working out my annual leave. I've also been asked to do a flexible working request and reminded that "they may not be able to accommodate it" which seems ridiculous when 1) they don't have any bloody staff and 2) I'm dropping one day in a service that is covered 7 days a week on a rolling rota anyway. Fed up of it all being so difficult.
). Night before when she had her late nap she woke up at 12, 2, 4, and 7. No joke she’s not woken up that much since she was one month old. I’m just a nightmare when I can’t sleep, at least I got 1-9am last night. So sorry about work. have you found any more jobs to apply for?
or he’ll say ‘mum mum mum’ when he’s sad - but only when he’s sad. He’ll grin at me when I say ‘say mama’ and go ‘dada’
(I did not see it at all).
. He’s only 9 weeks, so it’ll likely all change again.
