New baby and post birth advice #56

[Nosysamsie]

That’s such a lovely idea- I was a bit worried she’s too young for it but she’s not too young to actually listen to them I guess.
I work from home so I imagine it’ll be worst sitting in the house, if I’m out and about at meetings it will actually be easier as I’ll be distracted. I’m even thinking of going to a shared workspace on my wfh days just so I’m not moping/presumably taking my laptop into her room and sitting with her stuffed toys.

Do you find now you’ve been back a few weeks it’s got better?

Its my second week back this week. It was so difficult, and I can't see it ever stopping being difficult, walking out the door, but my saving grace is I leave at 6.45pm when she is going for a bath and settling down for bed. That and I do full time hours over 3 night shifts, so I don't feel like I am missing out on home life too much.
She's also started to get on with nursery. She's going 1 full day & a half day. She has had some gorgeous photos taken & she's been an absolute star when I've picked her up.
Someone told me to make plans on your days off so you have something to look forward to with your family. So this weekend I've planned a lovely local walk, a cake and coffee & a movie night. I already can't wait for Saturday.

 

[WotsitG1]

@anything at all baby wotsit will take an hour for lunch and dinner, breakfast seems to be about half an hour! He’s a slowwwww eater, has a half way through dance session, gets frustrated then carries on eating

 

[shhh1712]

@themuffinwoman ah 1 day is really good hopefully that will give her a few months to settle until she increases up to 2, I finally managed to find one which allows 2 days I’m just worried they’ll increase when the new funding applies but that’s a problem for a few months down the line. I’m going back 4 days Monday- Thursday 🥲 and I’ll have to see how it goes tbh as I now earn more than my husband so we are just going to have to see how it pans out tbh. I will get to wfh 1/2 days of the week which will help with being able to do housework etc

 

[Heyguysswipeup]

HEELLLLLPPPP! My baby keeps waking at 5am all of a sudden he’s nearly 8 months old. Goes down at 7pm, usually wakes 6-6.30am (several feeds throughout the night as we bedshare and BF). This past week he has been fully waking throughout the night where I have to rock him back to sleep when usually I just feed him back to sleep.
what do I do? Is this the 8 month regression? Do I need to add another nap in to make up for sleep? I feel like that would be a bad idea though. He has 2 naps a day, first one is 60-75mins and the second is 90mins

 

[Burrito88]

I had some *signs* so did an ovulation test and it was positive my baby is only 12 weeks! I hate it already. The hormones 🫠🫠🫠

 

[freddofrog]

@freddofrog
Please ask your GP or midwife to check your wound - you’re very susceptible to infections and sepsis with and may need antibiotics or a new dressing.
New babies are very fussy, they’re still getting used to the world and remember they are learning how to poop and fart for themselves could baby have a bit of wind? Try bicycle kicks and extra winding to get those burps and farts out.
so much respect for you doing this by yourself - please ask friends/family for help even if it’s just watching baby while you shower, getting some shopping or doing a wash for you!

thank you for this! can’t lie had a little cry at how nice it was. i confided in my mum i was overwhelmed (she could tell anyway i’d been crying) and she had the baby for me for 2 hours while i had a nap.. had no idea how much i needed that. i think baby is just having a little fussy phase which is tough unfortunately!

also on anti biotics for the incision x

 

[kayefeluu20]

Anyone else find having LO a bit cathartic? I grew up quite poor and with parents that were done with parenting by the time they had me and just kind of ignored my existence - anyway, tomorrow I'm taking baby Kaye to a local attraction I always wanted to go to as a child, and I'm going to enjoy the overpriced cafe food and take lots of cheesy photos. It's not even an expensive or interesting place, just one of those I remember school friends saying they'd been to over the hols and the closest I'd been was the nearby Farmfoods

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Anyone else find having LO a bit cathartic? I grew up quite poor and with parents that were done with parenting by the time they had me and just kind of ignored my existence - anyway, tomorrow I'm taking baby Kaye to a local attraction I always wanted to go to as a child, and I'm going to enjoy the overpriced cafe food and take lots of cheesy photos. It's not even an expensive or interesting place, just one of those I remember school friends saying they'd been to over the hols and the closest I'd been was the nearby Farmfoods

If it makes you happy, it doesn’t matter! Good for you. I’m yet to venture out with baby solo but I think tomorrow may just be the day.
baby Wood is a limpet today and won’t let me put him down. Any idea how long this lasts? He’s two months and I love him but I really need some time

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

Anyone any advice about a bunged up newborn? Baby skinny sounds very mucusy in her nose and when she cries you can really hear it. Midwife and health visitor coming tomorrow so I will ask them too. Just feel tight listening to it.

 

[Tifastrife]

I'm already being asked & I've said money we can put towards experiences. We want to get zoo passes, farm passes, etc so we can use them throughout the year. It's being looked at as stupid, but we love the zoo & the farm so we want to take little one plenty, and an annual pass is definitely the way forward with that

I love this idea!

We’ve asked for things for the garden. I’m going to get a sandpit thing, so have asked people to get buckets and spades, etc. His grandparents are getting a push along trike.
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She’s going one day a week from 12th March then two days from September when my days increase, although, I’m sort of hoping to only do 3 days a week instead of 4 if I can swing it. Waiting for it to be confirmed but I’m condensing 5 into 4, and would like to condense 4 into 3 if finances allow. Yeah it was a struggle here to find places that do one day a week, some said three even when I was checking last year and one said it must be three including a Monday and a Friday! I don’t want her to go either she’ll be with my parents the other 1-2 days, who she loves and love her so it’ll be fine, and I keep telling myself nursery will be so great for her, it’s just hard isn’t it. How many days a week will you be working? Sending you love as I’m finding it super hard to come to terms with xx

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Thanks everyone, especially like turning my crying into anger. Work piss me off so much it shouldn’t be hard, and with nursery I’ll assign myself some sobbing in the car time. She’s got 2 weeks of nursery before I start work so I might keep myself busy by sorting the house out and taking the dogs on a long walk.
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That’s such a lovely idea- I was a bit worried she’s too young for it but she’s not too young to actually listen to them I guess.
I work from home so I imagine it’ll be worst sitting in the house, if I’m out and about at meetings it will actually be easier as I’ll be distracted. I’m even thinking of going to a shared workspace on my wfh days just so I’m not moping/presumably taking my laptop into her room and sitting with her stuffed toys.

Do you find now you’ve been back a few weeks it’s got better?

I use the Tonie for background nose a lot if I don’t want the TV on too much. We have a really relaxing one that plays gentle music and nature sounds I sometimes put on for sensory play/before bed To unwind

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Anyone any advice about a bunged up newborn? Baby skinny sounds very mucusy in her nose and when she cries you can really hear it. Midwife and health visitor coming tomorrow so I will ask them too. Just feel tight listening to it.

Saline sprays are great and fine for newborns

 

[kayefeluu20]

If it makes you happy, it doesn’t matter! Good for you. I’m yet to venture out with baby solo but I think tomorrow may just be the day.
baby Wood is a limpet today and won’t let me put him down. Any idea how long this lasts? He’s two months and I love him but I really need some time

I'm still deep in the "If you put me down I will unleash a scream so loud the windows will rattle" phase... solidarity

 

[themuffinwoman]

I realise this conversation has probs been had like 100/ times and I’m so sorry to ask again but. Baby monitors. Are they worth it? Now she’s got her own room (first night is tonight!), do I need a fancy one? I saw one which shows the temperature which would be quite handy, and plays white noise although I have an old iPad I’ve set up in her room to do that. Is it worth having a different little monitor? Atm we use a plain old camera, doesn’t move or anything, literally just pointed at her. Also do people keep the video feed on all night? Her room is like 4 feet from mine but I can’t help but think I will wanna check on her or I randomly become a deep sleeper, but doubtful.
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Anyone else find having LO a bit cathartic? I grew up quite poor and with parents that were done with parenting by the time they had me and just kind of ignored my existence - anyway, tomorrow I'm taking baby Kaye to a local attraction I always wanted to go to as a child, and I'm going to enjoy the overpriced cafe food and take lots of cheesy photos. It's not even an expensive or interesting place, just one of those I remember school friends saying they'd been to over the hols and the closest I'd been was the nearby Farmfoods

I’m sorry your childhood was like that, it sounds like you have a lovely day planned for baba and you.

Yes, sort of. I feel like she’s naturally made me want to be a better person, which sounds really selfish lol but I’m always thinking oh I should eat more healthily, be a nicer person etc etc and since she arrived I feel like I am and it’s not even a concerted effort, it just feels right?

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Anyone else find having LO a bit cathartic? I grew up quite poor and with parents that were done with parenting by the time they had me and just kind of ignored my existence - anyway, tomorrow I'm taking baby Kaye to a local attraction I always wanted to go to as a child, and I'm going to enjoy the overpriced cafe food and take lots of cheesy photos. It's not even an expensive or interesting place, just one of those I remember school friends saying they'd been to over the hols and the closest I'd been was the nearby Farmfoods

Yes! Absolutely all of this. Spent my life being ignored and falling between the gaps of my tired parents. I love making sure 5 and TF get to do things I really missed out on as a child. Living vicariously through your kids sometimes is a therapeutic luxury 1 even just reading with 5 is the best. xx

 

[Onepotatotwopotato]

If it makes you happy, it doesn’t matter! Good for you. I’m yet to venture out with baby solo but I think tomorrow may just be the day.
baby Wood is a limpet today and won’t let me put him down. Any idea how long this lasts? He’s two months and I love him but I really need some time

I think you were due around similar time to me? Early Jan. If so check out the wonder weeks, leap 1. It could be that! Currently going through it

 

[CallMeHollywood]

I think you were due around similar time to me? Early Jan. If so check out the wonder weeks, leap 1. It could be that! Currently going through it

I was but he turned up a month early! Now at two months. I’ll have a look, thanks

 

[fudgebox]

Yep baby fudge is going through leap 2 and will only entertain his toys, playmat and bouncer for 5 mins before crying and wanting me to pick him up!!!!

 

[shhh1712]

I realise this conversation has probs been had like 100/ times and I’m so sorry to ask again but. Baby monitors. Are they worth it? Now she’s got her own room (first night is tonight!), do I need a fancy one? I saw one which shows the temperature which would be quite handy, and plays white noise although I have an old iPad I’ve set up in her room to do that. Is it worth having a different little monitor? Atm we use a plain old camera, doesn’t move or anything, literally just pointed at her. Also do people keep the video feed on all night? Her room is like 4 feet from mine but I can’t help but think I will wanna check on her or I randomly become a deep sleeper, but doubtful.
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We have a monitor with a camera, it was around £45 on Amazon so not ridiculously priced, it’s a hello baby one. I think it can play music but have never tried as we have a separate white noise machine anyway. We take it in turns to sleep with it next to us, we have it on eco mode so it turns the screen off and will come on if he moves or makes noise, ours has a few options for it to turn on for how much noise and movement he is making. I do find it useful especially as he naps in his room, we previously used the dog camera on our phones but it was annoying. This one doesn’t use WiFi either.
Sometimes I will check the monitor in the night if he hasn’t woken up but I have, just to check he’s ok. Ours also says the temperature of his room but not sure how accurate it is!

 

[Pontiac_Bandit]

I realise this conversation has probs been had like 100/ times and I’m so sorry to ask again but. Baby monitors. Are they worth it? Now she’s got her own room (first night is tonight!), do I need a fancy one? I saw one which shows the temperature which would be quite handy, and plays white noise although I have an old iPad I’ve set up in her room to do that. Is it worth having a different little monitor? Atm we use a plain old camera, doesn’t move or anything, literally just pointed at her. Also do people keep the video feed on all night? Her room is like 4 feet from mine but I can’t help but think I will wanna check on her or I randomly become a deep sleeper, but doubtful.
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I’m sorry your childhood was like that, it sounds like you have a lovely day planned for baba and you.

Yes, sort of. I feel like she’s naturally made me want to be a better person, which sounds really selfish lol but I’m always thinking oh I should eat more healthily, be a nicer person etc etc and since she arrived I feel like I am and it’s not even a concerted effort, it just feels right?

We got the VTECH VM3263 and it was £70 - they do cheaper ones that I think have slightly smaller screens/less features too. Really happy with it and I leave the sound and picture on all night because I find it comforting if I wake up to just peek at him without pressing anything, plus the screen is so effing bright it's like a little nightlight so I don't need to turn the lamp on when he wakes in the night

I had my first KIT day today and went into the office for a leadership meeting - I left home at 9.15 and got home at 3.30 which is the longest I've been without baby bandit, and the longest my husband's had him on his own. I wrote SO many notes last night haha he basically has an instruction manual now I was looking forward to today and thought I'd be ok leaving him as I was fine going to appointments without him recently but he's been SO upset with teething the last couple of days and really unsettled at night, so a combination of worrying about him missing me, wanting to be there to comfort him, and me being up for 2 hours with him during the night meant I was very tearful and choked up when I said goodbye I stayed a little tearful for about 5 minutes of my walk to work and then was fine for the rest of the day except when someone asked how it had been leaving this morning and I said "harder than I thought!" and my voice went a bit wobbly haha. Everyone was so lovely, the first person I saw as I got out the lift shouted with excitement and gave me a huge hug and being back at work was amazing, a switch went on in my brain and even though I'd warned them that I was shattered and would just listen, I butted in with questions and suggestions every 5 minutes

@themuffinwoman the suggestion about channeling tears into rage is good, and also changing the topic very quickly, even if it's just to make a quick random observation. if I try laughing the tears off I cry harder

 

[fudgebox]

We have a monitor with a camera, it was around £45 on Amazon so not ridiculously priced, it’s a hello baby one. I think it can play music but have never tried as we have a separate white noise machine anyway. We take it in turns to sleep with it next to us, we have it on eco mode so it turns the screen off and will come on if he moves or makes noise, ours has a few options for it to turn on for how much noise and movement he is making. I do find it useful especially as he naps in his room, we previously used the dog camera on our phones but it was annoying. This one doesn’t use WiFi either.
Sometimes I will check the monitor in the night if he hasn’t woken up but I have, just to check he’s ok. Ours also says the temperature of his room but not sure how accurate it is!

We have this one too, only used it a couple times when baby fudge is still sleeping in the morning and I need to go downstairs or whatever but it’s good!