New baby and post birth advice #43 no title needed, no suggestions made

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WhatABore

You can't train them to sleep.
They'll do it in their own time.
It's natural for them to wake during the night.
We as adults wake during the night.
 
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Gossipgirl79

WhatABore said:
You can't train them to sleep.
They'll do it in their own time.
It's natural for them to wake during the night.
We as adults wake during the night.
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TBH, this is my thinking….she’s tiny, she needs to know we’re there, and I don’t mind the lack of sleep at the moment, coffee is my BFF. It’s more my husband…and he’s being a bit of a KW about it cos I’m doing 90% of the night stuff so I don’t know why he’s so bothered! But am interested in others experiences.
 
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Definitelyme

Very few babies sleep through from 9 weeks. It is biologically natural for babies to wake for much longer than that. A baby that age still really needs fed during the night (12hours with nothing? How many adults do that? Not even a drink?)

Any book or “expert” that says your baby should be, or will be, doing xyz by this time frame is a fraud. All babies do things when they are ready, just like adults. The only expert on your baby’s sleep is you, not some random woman who writes books dictating what babies do. Remember - your baby hasn’t read the book so doesn’t know they “should” be doing it! They do what is instinctive to them, and as their parent it’s our job to respect that, and support it.
I would keep baby downstairs with me in the evening until they are around 6 months, but that’s just what works for me
 
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Belle Amie

Are you breastfeeding? It’s biologically normal for a baby to wake so frequently it’s a protective factor. My sons nearly 11 months and we’re only just 1 or 2 wake ups a night more than once a week.
If your partner isn’t doing anything at night I’d tell him to be quiet to put it politely and look up the fourth trimester.
 
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Gossipgirl79

Nope! We are bottle. Yeah I’m a big believer in fourth trimester, sent him links to read etc….maybe I have a KW issue and not a sleep issue.
 
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Jellybean093

Can I ask what he’s being a KW about? Because I’m sure you won’t be the only one in this situation!
 

Celeste

Gossipgirl79 said:
Nope! We are bottle. Yeah I’m a big believer in fourth trimester, sent him links to read etc….maybe I have a KW issue and not a sleep issue.
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I'd genuinely probe him a bit further and try to find out why he's so bothered. If you're doing the night feeds and are happy doing so, he shouldn't be pressuring you to change anything. It frustrates me that we have to deal with KW issues as well as a new baby. It might be that he's finding it hard to see you tired and thinks his suggestion will help, for example.
 
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ThePidge

The first few months are very tough and testing to everyone, you go through up and downs with sleep… you think you’ve nailed it and then it all goes out the window, because of development milestones, teething, illnesses etc… and this goes on right through!

We did a version of sleep training from about 5months (after the regression, I don’t like that word but I don’t know what else to call it the shit that happens around that time) but it was all online advice on how to help them self soothe etc. we did a combo of Ferber and the chair method (our own version which didn’t involve any crying as I couldn’t cope ) and she took to it really well. We were extremely lucky! She was never really a poor night sleeper, but daytime sleep was something else.
It’s swings and roundabouts. I think you really need to know your baby and everything about them before you consider big transitions/changes.
Even 5 months they’re still so little!!
 
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Daisydunn15

I remember thinking my baby was broken. She just wouldn't be put down, the sleep deprivation hallucinations were something else it gets easier, all they know is you and they want to be close.
 

Belle Amie

Gossipgirl79 said:
Nope! We are bottle. Yeah I’m a big believer in fourth trimester, sent him links to read etc….maybe I have a KW issue and not a sleep issue.
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Ahhh I’d get him to do a full night of wake ups before moaning
You get used to waking up every couple of hours, honestly now we get blocks I’m more tired! I wake up more discombobulated than I did waking every hour
I wouldn’t worry too much about sleep training or anything just yet, by all accounts it goes out of the window a bit with the 4 month sleep regression
 
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fairylights2000

Congrats!

We swaddled baby lights in the hospital (velcro easy swaddles) as he is a big flailer and kept waking himself. I think it helped him cope with going from 6 days of tiny hospital cot into the snuz pod which is a lot bigger, he could almost touch all the sides of the hospital one. He is 4 weeks now and still settles much easier in a swaddle. I also bought a snuz cloud noise machine (got very desperate one night when I'd been up for several hours and he couldn't settle) and I put the heartbeat sound and pink light on for some comfort at night.

I miss the wipe clean self rocking NHS cot tbh!

My son is also 4 weeks today and feeding every 2-3 hours, nice to know someone else is on the same schedule! I would love him to go a bit longer for sleep and sanity purposes but they just need what they need don't they. He is up to 10lb now so as he grows he will hopefully be able to eat a bit more and sleep a bit longer.

However we do leave him upstairs for an hour or so with the baby monitor on him in the daytime, otherwise we'd never get anything done
 
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loveanatter

My middle was only a couple of weeks older when we set the monitor up, we were in lockdown and my eldest was incapable of being quiet! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, if you’re comfortable doing so.
My little one is only 3 weeks but he will ‘go to bed’ with a monitor probably around 3 months or so. Although I haven’t bought one yet because…. Third child problems
 
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jp375

Hi everyone, I just want some reassurance really and sorry if this is the wrong thread. I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant with my second baby and the Downs screening has come back nearly four times higher than it was with my 1 year old (1/259 compared to 1/1050). I want to go and get a NIPT privately (the threshold is 1/150 on the NHS, although is 1/300 in other countries). I’m feeling absolutely sick with worry even though obviously there is still a 258/259 chance the baby is absolutely fine. Was anybody in a similar situation in their pregnancy and what advice were they given? I’m not sure what a ‘normal’ range of chance is and just feel really blind about the whole thing. Thanks xxx
 

Lalalaand

Can I ask what “KW” means? I’m totally lost when anyone says it on here
 
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loveanatter

I got 1:15 & 1:10 - had NIPT for them both. From there they both came back lower risk & both are now happy 3 year & 3 week olds without Down syndrome.
I know how hard it is, and so sending you a big hug!
 
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Married2019

Just to jump in here, bubs is 4 weeks tomorrow and also feeds every 2 hours so nope you're not alone! I also get nothing done, going to the bathroom feels like a luxury holiday at this point because I'm doing all the feeds myself and some feeds can be up to 40 mins he's up to 8.9lbs now so it's definitely working but I definitely wonder wtf I used to do with all the free time I had pre baby
 
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jackieweaver’sauthority

This is my second baby so I should know this but I really don’t have a clue when do they settle into awake times and naps? My boy is 4 weeks old and hates the Moses basket. I am putting him down in his sleep nest but he’s started waking up in that too.
I’m thinking ahead to when he’ll need to be having decent naps which will be tricky with a three year old. I just held her for her naps but I can’t do that with him. I really got stressed by watching wake windows with my oldest and don’t want to do that with him.
 
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