New baby and post birth advice #43 no title needed, no suggestions made

[Borntorun]

This is really weird but since I basically ask you guys for all life advice at this point.

My husband keeps getting friend requests off strange women on Facebook? He’s never replied or anything and they don’t live locally to us so nothing dodgy going on. I’m wondering if our data has been leaked or something as they all seem to know his nickname too

 

[Dak1988]

Hey! Any advice would be great, I had my baby boy last Thursday, we came home on Saturday evening!
And it’s been great, I love him so much and I’m loving being a mum… however… What do you do with a 5 day old baby at night times?!
I don’t have a clue what to do…
My baby hates his next to me crib, I think it’s because it’s too big for him

My baby girl didn’t love the next to me at first, like a few others have said we put the Moses basket in there as she took to that really well. Then after a few weeks we took it out and she got used to the next to me xx
---

Sounds exactly like my little one, great until the 4 month regression then awful ever since, also defo an eater most of the time

Ours went to tit at the 8 month regression ‍

 

[calmyourritas]

This is really weird but since I basically ask you guys for all life advice at this point.

My husband keeps getting friend requests off strange women on Facebook? He’s never replied or anything and they don’t live locally to us so nothing dodgy going on. I’m wondering if our data has been leaked or something as they all seem to know his nickname too

Wtf ? I’d message them myself and ask them what the duck their problem is

 

[I’mThankyou_]

This is really weird but since I basically ask you guys for all life advice at this point.

My husband keeps getting friend requests off strange women on Facebook? He’s never replied or anything and they don’t live locally to us so nothing dodgy going on. I’m wondering if our data has been leaked or something as they all seem to know his nickname too

 

[Definitelyme]

so weird, @Borntorun. And since it’s more than one it sounds like a right bunch of weirdos sitting round thinking it up. Who has time for that?

 

[Nayalove96]

Hey guys! Has anyone combi fed and then went on to exclusively breastfeed? At the moment I’m really struggling to breastfeed and he only fed exclusively for a week before I started expressing and then topping up with formula. He’s currently only going on the boob for 20 minutes maximum but his average feed is maybe 5 minutes he has mostly expressed milk and then between 2-4 70ml pre-made formulas but I’d love for him to be on the boob full time. He’s 4 weeks old x

 

[Definitelyme]

Hey guys! Has anyone combi fed and then went on to exclusively breastfeed? At the moment I’m really struggling to breastfeed and he only fed exclusively for a week before I started expressing and then topping up with formula. He’s currently only going on the boob for 20 minutes maximum but his average feed is maybe 5 minutes he has mostly expressed milk and then between 2-4 70ml pre-made formulas but I’d love for him to be on the boob full time. He’s 4 weeks old x

I haven’t had this same issue so maybe some other mums have more specific advice
But what are the struggles you’re having exactly? What signs are there that something isn’t working? Latching, pain, feel like he isn’t getting enough, not gaining weight, not enough wet/dirty nappies?
How long he is on the boob for doesn’t really matter, some babies are very efficient feeders. How is his demeanour after a breastfeed? Is he contented or still hungry? Is he falling asleep mid feed which is why they are short? Are you offering both breasts at each feed?
Are you able to get a breastfeeding consultant to you? They can give you a lot more specific advice. But the main generic points would be:
- offer breast at every feed before offering a bottle (and only offer bottle if he is clearly hungry)
- lots of skin to skin will help you both, and give him unlimited boob access
- knowing what is normal behaviour for a breastfed newborn may also help, reading up about this is a good place to start but basically they want to feed very frequently.

 

[Megatron1298]

I defo follow the cues too, it’s a challenge trying to time it right so he’s tired but not too tired and angry whilst maintaining some sort of social life rush doesn’t solely revolve around naps

He slept so well until the 4 month regression and he’s been bad ever since.

A few threads back someone said you either have ababy that eats or a baby that sleeps. Mine defo is an eater. Just like his mother



he is almost 1

My now toddler was both a good eater and a good sleeper, so I’m prepping for this baby to be neither. Currently correct on the sleep front and we start solids next week

 

[Borntorun]

so weird, @Borntorun. And since it’s more than one it sounds like a right bunch of weirdos sitting round thinking it up. Who has time for that?

Yeah, it’s so weird! They don’t look like the typical porn looking spam accounts either, they’re just normal looking mums from up north, which is odd as we’re in the east. He’s just as bemused by the whole thing as I am no one experienced this?!

 

[Definitelyme]

Yeah, it’s so weird! They don’t look like the typical porn looking spam accounts either, they’re just normal looking mums from up north, which is odd as we’re in the east. He’s just as bemused by the whole thing as I am no one experienced this?!

Not so normal apparently

 

[Neo2021]

Yeah, it’s so weird! They don’t look like the typical porn looking spam accounts either, they’re just normal looking mums from up north, which is odd as we’re in the east. He’s just as bemused by the whole thing as I am no one experienced this?!

I’ve had some random spam accounts, usually MLM huns or trying to get me to join fitness tit telling me they guarantee they can give me abs. Could it be that?

 

[Borntorun]

I’ve had some random spam accounts, usually MLM huns or trying to get me to join fitness tit telling me they guarantee they can give me abs. Could it be that?

Honestly if I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was a group of bored women in a group chat trying to liven up their dull lives

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Honestly if I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was a group of bored women in a group chat trying to liven up their dull lives

Seems like a very bored housewife task. You'd think since it was half term they'd have better things to do than stalk random men

 

[Neo2021]

Honestly if I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was a group of bored women in a group chat trying to liven up their dull lives

People are weird! Tell him to check his settings!

 

[Borntorun]

People are weird! Tell him to check his settings!

Thanks. We’re having our IT guy over later in the week as I’ve been noticing a weaker wifi signal out in the summerhouse, so perhaps I’ll ask him to have a look

 

[Gossipgirl79]

Can I ask what he’s being a KW about? Because I’m sure you won’t be the only one in this situation!

He’s really keen for us to get into a 3 hour “routine.” I keep saying I want to bottle feed on demand as I would have breast fed on demand if I could. And if it’s been say, 2 hours and 35 mins since her last feed and she starts to get hungry he goes “try and stretch it out a bit, try and get her used to 3 hours.” Obviously I ignore him and feed her whenever she wants at the moment. Same with cuddles. I’m picking her up and cuddling her allllll the time because she’s tiny, was 4 weeks early, she’s my rainbow baby, cos I want to, cos she loves cuddles and he’s all “you don’t need to hold her alll the time, let her try and settle herself.” Again, totally ignoring him.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

He’s really keen for us to get into a 3 hour “routine.” I keep saying I want to bottle feed on demand as I would have breast fed on demand if I could. And if it’s been say, 2 hours and 35 mins since her last feed and she starts to get hungry he goes “try and stretch it out a bit, try and get her used to 3 hours.” Obviously I ignore him and feed her whenever she wants at the moment. Same with cuddles. I’m picking her up and cuddling her allllll the time because she’s tiny, was 4 weeks early, she’s my rainbow baby, cos I want to, cos she loves cuddles and he’s all “you don’t need to hold her alll the time, let her try and settle herself.” Again, totally ignoring him.

Ah he sounds like he needs to loosen up a little bit.
Unless its him doing it all, then he needs to keep his gob shut, given he's presumably getting 8+ hours a sleep a night. Undisturbed.
You're responding to baby exactly how you should your KW needs to stay off Google I think.

 

[Gossipgirl79]

Ah he sounds like he needs to loosen up a little bit.
Unless its him doing it all, then he needs to keep his gob shut, given he's presumably getting 8+ hours a sleep a night. Undisturbed.
You're responding to baby exactly how you should your KW needs to stay off Google I think.

This is my first baby and he has a 12 yo….so he’s a bit ‘i know what I’m doing,’ but she’s very hard work. I’m dying to say “maybe if you cuddled that one a bit more as a baby, we’d have less issues now.” But biting my tongue for the moment.

 

[Celeste]

This is my first baby and he has a 12 yo….so he’s a bit ‘i know what I’m doing,’ but she’s very hard work. I’m dying to say “maybe if you cuddled that one a bit more as a baby, we’d have less issues now.” But biting my tongue for the moment.

I think things have changed quite a bit in 12 years too, there's a lot more knowledge about the 4th trimester etc. Trust your instincts.

 

[Nayalove96]

I haven’t had this same issue so maybe some other mums have more specific advice
But what are the struggles you’re having exactly? What signs are there that something isn’t working? Latching, pain, feel like he isn’t getting enough, not gaining weight, not enough wet/dirty nappies?
How long he is on the boob for doesn’t really matter, some babies are very efficient feeders. How is his demeanour after a breastfeed? Is he contented or still hungry? Is he falling asleep mid feed which is why they are short? Are you offering both breasts at each feed?
Are you able to get a breastfeeding consultant to you? They can give you a lot more specific advice. But the main generic points would be:
- offer breast at every feed before offering a bottle (and only offer bottle if he is clearly hungry)
- lots of skin to skin will help you both, and give him unlimited boob access
- knowing what is normal behaviour for a breastfed newborn may also help, reading up about this is a good place to start but basically they want to feed very frequently.

thank you for replying! He lost 12% of his birth weight in a week so I was advised by the midwife to express and top up with formula,he’s now gained so that’s no longer an issue but as soon as I introduced the bottle I feel like he just isn’t latching properly l, he gets really frustrated,it’s like he just sucks the end of the nipple. He still searches for boob and he does want it but it’s like he just doesn’t know how to do it if that makes sense? I’ve talked with my midwife but she just keeps saying he’ll eventually do it but I’m really struggling with it I will try all the things you have mentioned thank you!x