New baby and post birth advice #4

[WhatABore]

Morning everyone. This may seen like a silly question but I'm going to ask it anyway...

Baby boy was grunting in discomfort and semi crying in his sleep in his next to me this morning, I put his dummy (lifesaver) back in and he continued, he was flinging his arms around and kicking his legs so I presumed he was in pain. Picked him up got him in my arms in bed and he's slept still, silently and contently for the last hour, where before I was thinking he needed winding, had uncomfortable reflux, was struggling to poo or wanted his feed early.

Does it sound like it was just a comfort thing and he wanted to be close?

Babies can be very noisy sleepers. They move, grunt and make noises and they're actually fast asleep.
It's always kept me awake because I've presume they'd wake up any minute and they don't!
May have been he was in a light sleep phase and you picking him up and cuddling him sent him back to a deep sleep

 

[Definitelyme]

Morning everyone. This may seen like a silly question but I'm going to ask it anyway...

Baby boy was grunting in discomfort and semi crying in his sleep in his next to me this morning, I put his dummy (lifesaver) back in and he continued, he was flinging his arms around and kicking his legs so I presumed he was in pain. Picked him up got him in my arms in bed and he's slept still, silently and contently for the last hour, where before I was thinking he needed winding, had uncomfortable reflux, was struggling to poo or wanted his feed early.

Does it sound like it was just a comfort thing and he wanted to be close?

was he actually awake? My son has a tendency to thrash about a bit but he’s still asleep and will then turn over and settle again (we co sleep anyway). I do find they generally sleep more soundly beside you because of the comfort of a warm body beside them.

 

[CrimeJunkie]

Morning everyone. This may seen like a silly question but I'm going to ask it anyway...

Baby boy was grunting in discomfort and semi crying in his sleep in his next to me this morning, I put his dummy (lifesaver) back in and he continued, he was flinging his arms around and kicking his legs so I presumed he was in pain. Picked him up got him in my arms in bed and he's slept still, silently and contently for the last hour, where before I was thinking he needed winding, had uncomfortable reflux, was struggling to poo or wanted his feed early.

Does it sound like it was just a comfort thing and he wanted to be close?

My baby does this too usually around 6am. If I pick her up and give her a cuddle, she’ll stop when I put her back down. It’s weird though because she’s asleep the whole time! I spoke to the HV about it and apparently thrashing around in their sleep is quite normal for them.

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Morning everyone. This may seen like a silly question but I'm going to ask it anyway...

Baby boy was grunting in discomfort and semi crying in his sleep in his next to me this morning, I put his dummy (lifesaver) back in and he continued, he was flinging his arms around and kicking his legs so I presumed he was in pain. Picked him up got him in my arms in bed and he's slept still, silently and contently for the last hour, where before I was thinking he needed winding, had uncomfortable reflux, was struggling to poo or wanted his feed early.

Does it sound like it was just a comfort thing and he wanted to be close?

i was sure my baby had colic as 6am was her thrashing stage… it’s probably her natural awake time but I get her into bed and sleep until 9/10! But like others have said it’s probably his active period and will settle with how he’s used to be settled to get him into his next sleep cycle. I’ve started putting my hand on the side of her face and she goes back off, took about 3 days of practicing though (instead of picking her up to settle) x

 

[Greys1324]

Teething help please!
My little girl (4.5 months) is cutting her first tooth at the bottom, I’ve got the Ashton and parsons powder but how do you get them to take it? Everytime I attempt it she’s thrashing around crying or refuses to open her mouth I’ve got the gel too but that didn’t seem to make a difference. She’s screaming in pain it’s so horrible. Any other recommendations?

 

[mg89]

Teething help please!
My little girl (4.5 months) is cutting her first tooth at the bottom, I’ve got the Ashton and parsons powder but how do you get them to take it? Everytime I attempt it she’s thrashing around crying or refuses to open her mouth I’ve got the gel too but that didn’t seem to make a difference. She’s screaming in pain it’s so horrible. Any other recommendations?

I can't remember what age they can have it from, but we've found nurofen themost effective for teething. With the powders, I put it on my finger then in their mouth. You can get anbesol liquid which is better than any powders, I've never found any of the gels or powders effective.

Downloaded Vinted…god help me and my bank balance. Despite saying a few weeks ago I’d prefer a few good quality wooden toys, I have become obsessed with buying colourful, novelty plastic tat, with bonus points if it’s in the shape of an animal and lasts 36 seconds before breaking.

Also, how old were your babies when you sent them to nursery?

Haha I was the same. I've even bought toys on vinted.
My little one started 2 weeks ago at almost 9.5 months.

Morning everyone. This may seen like a silly question but I'm going to ask it anyway...

Baby boy was grunting in discomfort and semi crying in his sleep in his next to me this morning, I put his dummy (lifesaver) back in and he continued, he was flinging his arms around and kicking his legs so I presumed he was in pain. Picked him up got him in my arms in bed and he's slept still, silently and contently for the last hour, where before I was thinking he needed winding, had uncomfortable reflux, was struggling to poo or wanted his feed early.

Does it sound like it was just a comfort thing and he wanted to be close?

We had this during the newborn stage, it's really common -I remember incessantly googling it! Some call it the farmyard hour as there is a bit of an acid dump in the early hours, causing them to make lots of weird noises and thrash around. I think they are often asleep when doing it even though they look really comfortable. Their systems are so little and need to develop which takes a while, especially pooing!

 

[Definitelyme]

Teething help please!
My little girl (4.5 months) is cutting her first tooth at the bottom, I’ve got the Ashton and parsons powder but how do you get them to take it? Everytime I attempt it she’s thrashing around crying or refuses to open her mouth I’ve got the gel too but that didn’t seem to make a difference. She’s screaming in pain it’s so horrible. Any other recommendations?

Anbesol liquid is supposed to be excellent, everyone I’ve heard use it really rates it

 

[Ilando]

Baby is 10 weeks old and I really can’t complain. He is content most of the time and I’m beginning to recognise his cues and start a routine however…

He has started only doing a poo every 3 days. Although this is normal apparently he fills his nappy to the point where it is coming out the top and sides literally having to hose him down with shower head each time and bin his clothes!

I’m assuming this will change as he gets older but I’m literally planning my weeks in 3 day chunks as it would be a nightmare if he did it when we were out!

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Hey guys, maybe a sensitive question for someone to answer but has anyone suffered with PND? when you approach a Dr do they put you on medication straight away or are you offered counselling to help? Xx

 

[Definitelyme]

Hey guys, maybe a sensitive question for someone to answer but has anyone suffered with PND? when you approach a Dr do they put you on medication straight away or are you offered counselling to help? Xx

No experience but sending you love xx

 

[Ilando]

Hey guys, maybe a sensitive question for someone to answer but has anyone suffered with PND? when you approach a Dr do they put you on medication straight away or are you offered counselling to help? Xx

My experience is with depression not post natal depression but I’ve found that sadly it depends how good your GP is. Some with listen and discuss all the options with you and some with dish out the tablets without trying to get to the root of the problem.

I’ve found that I’ve had to sometimes ask for a second option before I’ve got anywhere.

Sending you lots of love- I know how scary mental health can be but also that counselling and medication can make a massive difference xx

 

[mg89]

Hey guys, maybe a sensitive question for someone to answer but has anyone suffered with PND? when you approach a Dr do they put you on medication straight away or are you offered counselling to help? Xx

Yes I did this year following the arrival of my baby. I never went through my GP, I self referred myself to my local IAPT team and was fast tracked for CBT sessions for PND/Anxiety.. they were online because of lockdown. Hope you are ok x

 

[Nursty]

Anyone else taking the pregnacare breastfeeding vitamins? Why do they make them so huge?! Everyday I think "this is it, this is the day I die choking on a vitamin"

 

[Babyyoda88]

Poor baby has had her first set of needles and her tongue tie snipped. She’s currently lying on me asleep but waking up to do the occasional cry. poor thing. She’s managed to feed already without the nipple shields

 

[Definitelyme]

Poor baby has had her first set of needles and her tongue tie snipped. She’s currently lying on me asleep but waking up to do the occasional cry. poor thing. She’s managed to feed already without the nipple shields

Great news about her TT snip and successful feeding! Hopefully this will lead to a much more settled girl, and a much less hassled mummy. Just in case they didn’t tell you, apparently feeding can get worse again for a few days, and you can see a few issues again just as she is relearning how to feed with her new tongue freedom, but it’s really normal

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Thanks everyone, just feel like I'm drowning and that I'm an awful mum. My little boy (2 next week) has not taken well to being a big brother he used to be such a good sleeper now he's screaming at bedtime/nap time waking up at 4am (I get up at 3.30 to feed the baby) so then I'm up for the day I feel absolutely shattered and that I'm constantly telling him off, he sometimes tries to hit her aswel.

I feel like I can't get the baby into a routine because my boys routine is all over the place at the moment, my husband works shift work so I'm on my own most of the time feel like I've lost my identity it's so hard.

I don't think I'm over her birth either was the worst experience of my life, watching her being resusicated and not knowing if she was going to make it has really messed with my head.

Don't want to talk to friends/fam as I don't want to be the Debbie Downer.

Sorry for the long post just feel so alone. I've text the health visitor but she ignored me so I text the other one and she has also ignored me, I'm sure things will get better

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Thanks everyone, just feel like I'm drowning and that I'm an awful mum. My little boy (2 next week) has not taken well to being a big brother he used to be such a good sleeper now he's screaming at bedtime/nap time waking up at 4am (I get up at 3.30 to feed the baby) so then I'm up for the day I feel absolutely shattered and that I'm constantly telling him off, he sometimes tries to hit her aswel.

I feel like I can't get the baby into a routine because my boys routine is all over the place at the moment, my husband works shift work so I'm on my own most of the time feel like I've lost my identity it's so hard.

I don't think I'm over her birth either was the worst experience of my life, watching her being resusicated and not knowing if she was going to make it has really messed with my head.

Don't want to talk to friends/fam as I don't want to be the Debbie Downer.

Sorry for the long post just feel so alone. I've text the health visitor but she ignored me so I text the other one and she has also ignored me, I'm sure things will get better

You are not alone so please don't suffer alone, we might be faceless people on the Internet but we are here.
If you can't talk to your friends/family please talk to us

 

[Babyyoda88]

Great news about her TT snip and successful feeding! Hopefully this will lead to a much more settled girl, and a much less hassled mummy. Just in case they didn’t tell you, apparently feeding can get worse again for a few days, and you can see a few issues again just as she is relearning how to feed with her new tongue freedom, but it’s really normal

Thanks so much! I’ll bare that in mind!

Thanks everyone, just feel like I'm drowning and that I'm an awful mum. My little boy (2 next week) has not taken well to being a big brother he used to be such a good sleeper now he's screaming at bedtime/nap time waking up at 4am (I get up at 3.30 to feed the baby) so then I'm up for the day I feel absolutely shattered and that I'm constantly telling him off, he sometimes tries to hit her aswel.

I feel like I can't get the baby into a routine because my boys routine is all over the place at the moment, my husband works shift work so I'm on my own most of the time feel like I've lost my identity it's so hard.

I don't think I'm over her birth either was the worst experience of my life, watching her being resusicated and not knowing if she was going to make it has really messed with my head.

Don't want to talk to friends/fam as I don't want to be the Debbie Downer.

Sorry for the long post just feel so alone. I've text the health visitor but she ignored me so I text the other one and she has also ignored me, I'm sure things will get better

Sending you a big hug!!!

 

[Definitelyme]

Thanks everyone, just feel like I'm drowning and that I'm an awful mum. My little boy (2 next week) has not taken well to being a big brother he used to be such a good sleeper now he's screaming at bedtime/nap time waking up at 4am (I get up at 3.30 to feed the baby) so then I'm up for the day I feel absolutely shattered and that I'm constantly telling him off, he sometimes tries to hit her aswel.

I feel like I can't get the baby into a routine because my boys routine is all over the place at the moment, my husband works shift work so I'm on my own most of the time feel like I've lost my identity it's so hard.

I don't think I'm over her birth either was the worst experience of my life, watching her being resusicated and not knowing if she was going to make it has really messed with my head.

Don't want to talk to friends/fam as I don't want to be the Debbie Downer.

Sorry for the long post just feel so alone. I've text the health visitor but she ignored me so I text the other one and she has also ignored me, I'm sure things will get better

I am so sure that your friends and family would hate to hear you saying you don’t want to bother them. I have no doubt they adore you and really want to help. If you have anyone trusted IRL please do reach out. It sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment, and I’m so sorry you feel so low. You’re right, things will get better BUT that doesn’t negate the fact that things are very hard now and you shouldn’t feel you have to put up with things just because in a few years time this will all be over. You deserve to be enjoying this time with your kids, not just muddling through.

The very fact you’re here, asking for help, shows what a brilliant mum you are
Absolutely shameful of your HV not to ring you when you text them.

 

[123456!!12/]

Thanks everyone, just feel like I'm drowning and that I'm an awful mum. My little boy (2 next week) has not taken well to being a big brother he used to be such a good sleeper now he's screaming at bedtime/nap time waking up at 4am (I get up at 3.30 to feed the baby) so then I'm up for the day I feel absolutely shattered and that I'm constantly telling him off, he sometimes tries to hit her aswel.

I feel like I can't get the baby into a routine because my boys routine is all over the place at the moment, my husband works shift work so I'm on my own most of the time feel like I've lost my identity it's so hard.

I don't think I'm over her birth either was the worst experience of my life, watching her being resusicated and not knowing if she was going to make it has really messed with my head.

Don't want to talk to friends/fam as I don't want to be the Debbie Downer.

Sorry for the long post just feel so alone. I've text the health visitor but she ignored me so I text the other one and she has also ignored me, I'm sure things will get better

you’re definitely not an awful mum, please don’t think like that. We’re going through a “I only want my daddy for sleep” phase so when I put him down for a nap he screams and screams, it’s so exhausting but it’s just adjusting - I imagine it’s because they’ve had us all to themselves for so long so they’re still learning to share.
Honestly, my older boy (just turned 2) has hit, tried to bite, kicked, smacked, jumped on and threw things at my newborn. We try to label the way we think he’s feeling and talk to him about why it’s ok to feel like that and how to deal with it differently (eg. “I understand you’re feeling jealous right now because mummy has to feed the baby, it’s okay to feel jealous but mummy can’t let you hit the baby. Instead of hitting the baby, why don’t we use our hands to stroke baby and then when mummy’s done we can play shops). Sometimes it’s hard to remember that our toddlers are still learning how to share our attention and I can get really angry and frustrated at the behaviour but I’ve been really trying to breathe before I react - trust me it doesn’t always work.
You’re only human and you’re only one person who went through something so traumatic (and don’t seem to be getting the help you’re clearly reaching out for). Is there any way you could talk to someone about getting a debrief about the birth? I’m so sorry you’ve been let down by the people who’s job it is to help. But please don’t suffer in silence x