New baby and post birth advice #38: I've just come to accept the fact that my children are in fact, feral

[Megatron1298]

Well I survived my week of solo parenting, good days and bad days etc. Mums of those whose partner is away often how do you cope during the transition of the partner returning? Yes it was more work with him away but in a way it was easier because I just had to get on and do it? We aren’t very in sync and I’m getting annoyed at how inefficient he is and just feel like now he is back I have an extra person to tidy up after.
He keeps going on about how he’s tired? And it’s like yeah mate me fucking too and I wasn’t being wined and dined every night (oh but there was wine).

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

It was chicken and veg! But frankly it was like dirty old dish water/a drunkards vomit on my shop doorway after a heavy sesh x

So all in all, delicious as you can imagine

This is why healthy eating is a scam. Chips would never do you dirty like that.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I have read back through this thread and I have to say you all seem lovelysometimes I read peoples threads and think I am a horrendous mother because some of the things other mothers are slated for

Oh we give no fucks here, not a one.
Please stay and join the madness

 

[calmyourritas]

I don’t know what has possessed me but I’ve just attempted to make some little clay Christmas decorations of her footprint for parents and grandparents. Absolute hell on earth. They look like shite but I’m going to give them to them anyway and say you won’t be getting anything crafty again til she makes it at school. I need a very large gin.

 

[Easilyannoyed]

I had this from 11 months to basically last week now she will sleep alone at night until 3am but I’m taking it as a win because at one point I couldn’t even put her down without a screaming fit. She now has 12 teeth hoping that this was what the issue was because honestly I was at my whits end and this also makes me sound fucking stupid but I really didn’t think how hard the toddler phase is my tree has 6 baubles I don’t even want to put the rest up she messes with wires plugs cupboards everything she isn’t meant to tantrums refusing the car seat kicking me it’s relentless and the throwing of the food off her plate sennnnnds me over the edge so I just go into the bathroom and silently scream. I honestly didn’t think this would be this hard aaaaaahhhhh

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

Just absolutely shit myself because I was just setting up the monitor and I saw a ghost on it right next to the cot. Then I realised it has a split second delay and the ghost was, in fact, just me waltzing round in my dressing gown.

I saw a TikTok of a mum going into a dark room and using the baby monitor to guide her way to the baby, then seeing a figure reaching for her baby on the screen and losing her shit

 

[Borntorun]

@Borntorun and I assume you have it too since you said you feel awful? I hope you all get the antibiotics you need tomorrow and start recovering asap xx

So none for me or KW because there were no doctors appts left, so they only saw the children. And none for Baby Runner either because they reckon she’s doing a good job of fighting on her own and there’s a shortage of antibiotics It took me four hours to source some for 3yo and even then I’ve only got half the course because that’s all they had.

Me and KW have been saying if he gets a Xmas bonus we might genuinely spend it on bupa cover. I’ve been so let down by the nhs lately

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Not a baby or toddler rant. But what is it with boys? Every year I have to buy the 9yo a new hat scarf and gloves because he always bloody looses them. I gave him new gloves yesterday, could he find them this morning? Hell no. He's lucky I don't want snoop to come and snoop him away else he'd be going to school and getting frost bite on his hands. It's still -5 here!
Tipped my house upside down, where were they? In his school bag idiot child

 

[Lulu Goss]

Is being a mum just saying things and being ignored constantly??

Me for the hundredth time: Baby G sit down on the sofa while you’re eating your biscuit please, we don’t climb while we’re eating
Baby: continues to do gymnastics on the sofa with a biscuit in her hand looking me dead in the eye

 

[jackolantern]

chocolate waffle

Next thread title, finish Snoop off well and truly

 

[I’mThankyou_]

- crying in the shower with rockhard titties when the milk sets in properly

But also milky baby breath I miss milky baby breath and milk comas so much

Oh man. The boulders! Felt suffocating.

I'd absolutely love for a milk coma right now I love a newborn why isn't that period longer? Why do you get 4+ years of arsehole toddler behaviour but 0.3 seconds of newborn

 

[Dipdab]

Think I need a refund on my kids. I just gave them a bit of chocolate fudge brownie to try . yes snoop I give my babies chocolate. They both looked it in disgust and chucked it on the floor 🫠

 

[I’mThankyou_]

No one warns you you have to give birth twice.
Once to the spawn of Satan, the other to a massive turd.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Can I just say how helpful this thread is… motherhood can be so lonely but having people to relate to makes it that much more bare able thank you all for not judging me and my struggles

Who are we to judge. We've all been there. You've recognised you had a blip, and you sought advice immediately, please know that shows you are the best kind of mum
Be kind to yourself xx

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I told him to message her, am I mad I thought she may accuse her friend of not giving the letter or wonder for the rest of her life why he didn’t respond. He sent her a message on Instagram to say thank you but he’s in a relationship (… get this bit.. ) but would be interested if he wasn’t I had to explain to him how that was a step too far. He’s now mortified and gone all uncomfortable and awkward & is going to block her
Best laugh I’ve had in ages

Never ever let him live it down. Mark it as a reminder for every year to come that it's the anniversary

 

[wakametango 2.0]

There’s an article in daily mail about a comment made on mumsnet. Imagine we made it to the papers with our ridiculous chat

 

[Jellybean093]

Just had a proper baby brain moment…
Sitting in the bath, when I remember I’m meeting my sister tomorrow. And I actually thought to myself, ‘argh! I should’ve washed my hair in the bath as I won’t have time tomorrow’… seriously lacking sleep 🫠

 

[WhatABore]

sew the gloves into the coat

I'll sew them to their flippin hands if they lose them again.

Joking Snoop, obviously. Kind of.

 

[LilyRose1234]

I’ve lost the plot. My nickname for Tommy is bunbun and we had chicken pot pie for tea and I made him his own pastry bunny and I cried when he ate it because my big grown up bunbun was eating his own bunbun like a big boy and it was adorable. What has happened to me?

Are you…okay? (ps that is adorable though - I cried the other day because I said “night night” and she came over gave me a big kiss and picked up her bunny toy, and lay on the floor cuddling it really tightly and it was so cute I just blubbed ) I also cried when she had her nursery party and she got up in the middle of all the kids and danced by herself and I was so proud my heart burst

 

[Spillit2356]

KW rant

I’ve been feeling really resentful and disconnected from him lately anyway, he’s been fuck all help while baby o has been poorly and he barely spends an hour a day with her.
But tonight baby o suddenly had exorcist style projectile vomiting (she seems fine again now, I think I accidentally gave her an old bottle from her nursery bag) so I grabbed her off KWs lap and put her on the hard floor thinking she can keep vomiting and I’ll wipe it up after.
KW pisses me off for two reasons:
1. He starts barking instructions at me ‘go and put her in the bath, take her off me etc’ - this fucks me off anyway, when I do 95% of the work and then he has the audacity to think he can tell me what I should do
2. I did get in the bath eventually and was washing her off when he comes upstairs. I asked him to please wipe up the sick off the hard floor and the rug, anti bac the hard floor and put a tea towel over any wet stains on the rug (to absorb any sick before it sinks in). And he’s like ‘it’s fine I’ve cleaned it’, so - knowing what his version of clean is vs mine - started asking him if he’d found the anti bac wipes etc to which he just shouted over me ‘I said I’ve done it stop nagging’
Come downstairs and he’s basically wiped the puddles up with a dirty tea towel so after spending all afternoon hoovering and mopping, I’ve got smeary sick marks on the floor and the rug stinks if vomit.
I’m so sick of not being able to rely on him for anything. Every thing he does do (1 nursery run and 2 bedtimes a week) he has to be micromanaged to fucking do it properly. I feel like a single parent 90% of the time anyway but then when he’s here my life is no easier - it’s actually harder.
If I was financially stable enough I think I’d leave him.

I stayed with my ex for years because I didn't think I was financially capable of leaving him, my mental health deteriorated so badly I became suicidal at one point and rather than help or support me he just used it as a way to control me but I built myself up, for counselling and one day I snapped and told him it was over. I got myself in debt to set me and the kids up elsewhere and was then better off financially as a single parent than when I was with him (he controlled me through finances so I had nothing) . So just to say, it is very possible, don't let this be the only reason for staying, it's doable. But also I'd like to say it is the hardest first year on a relationship after a baby but if you're communicating what you need and nothing is changing then he doesn't deserve you