New baby and post birth advice #3

[OIM]

@Kitt and @Definitelyme I think it’s just husbands in general if that helps. My husband can sleep through her crying in the bed next to him and literally can be asleep before the bottle has even hit her mouth. He’s much better with the toddler so there is always hope!

 

[Kitt]

How frustrating! I know this isn’t the point and doesn’t really resolve the underlying issue but would you ultimately get more sleep if you do the 2am feed? Or make him deal with the issues afterwards if he doesn’t take the time to give him a full feed? Hopefully you get some rest today!!

Yeah just had a conversation with him about it and said that it would just be easier me to feed him in the night and hopefully he’ll take a full feed from me and see if that resolves the fussiness. He said he’d like to help more and learn to do the full feed though and I said that’s fine but you can learn in the day when if there’s a knock on from not having a full feed then it’ll be easier to deal with. I want to try and encourage full feeds and good sleeps at night as much as possible to build to a routine and also allow me to sleep. He said he just falls asleep and he’s sorry and I said I know but I’m soothing the baby literally fighting sleep, I can’t just pass out like you do that’s why it’s frustrating.

thanks everyone for letting me rant. I know in the long run it’s not too big a deal but the nights do feel quite lonely at the moment and I’m starting to dread them coming round so I want to solve this rather than let it get on top of me.

 

[Definitelyme]

my boy is just over 5 weeks old and has come up in this rash (he’s had it a few weeks, around the time I started having problems with feeding) I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas of what it could be? We’ve used the same washing detergent, bath bubbles and moisturiser since birth so I don’t think it’s that, but am willing to try changing if anyone thinks it’s likely that? I’ve been trying to make a doctors appointment for it but they’re only doing phone calls on the day and these are always fully booked by the time I eventually get through

ETA: it’s on his face, neck and body but not his lower arms or legs

All 4 of mine had this to varying degrees at roughly 5-6 weeks, lasting approx 3 weeks. It comes under a lot of names, baby acne, milk spots. What I’ve always understood is that it’s just their wee body adjusting to “life outside” and if you’re breastfeeding it is also to do with hormonal changes in yourself being transferred to them. All mine would look redder/angrier after feeding or cuddling, so when they get warm. It goes itself, nothing seems to help or hinder. Mine had it badly on cheeks, ears, neck and upper torso.

ETA: of course if it seems to get worse or is uncomfortable for baby you should get it checked out I’ve attached a wee bit from the NHS

 

[orange club biscuit]

So far so good with the Love to Dream!! I think she’s realised she can’t break out of it also I’ve put her in a GIANT reusable nappy tonight and she looks like a poor little turtle on her back

 

[WhatABore]

I think it’s totally normal to be nervous, especially when your own sister has been the one to have it, there will be a niggling worry there about your parents as well.
Personally, I have been fine with visitors and the baby. It’s only family we’ve had to the house and we see them several times a week (and they helped me with the older kids after my section) any friends I’ve met elsewhere, or one or two in the house actually now I think of it, but they haven’t held the baby. Not because of covid, just because I don’t usually hand my babies over that easily

Haha I've always been the opposite. Handed them to anyone that wants them
Pretty sure it's why my 3 year old has no sense of stranger danger

 

[Definitelyme]

Just to say sun is the best stain remover ever, even if it’s a dull day Chuck baby grows etc out on the line and the stains will lift

 

[Hbirdette]

@wakametango please don’t feel like you’ve not tried hard enough you’ve given me a flashback of my difficult journey with breastfeeding and honestly, whilst my struggles weren’t the same as yours, it feels like a really difficult place to be in. You’ve got to do what is best for you. As I said earlier, if it’s something you want, I would recommend a lactation consultant but try not to put any pressure on yourself. When I was getting stressed over pumping, I got told to cover up the pump so I couldn’t see what I was producing... some weird and wonderful theory about if you’re not watching it, it might work better for you. I second using a Haakaa, so whilst you’re feeding little one, attach a haaakaa to get the letdown from the other breast. Sorry I feel like I’m giving advice on a subject that I’m not a master at but just wanted to try and help cause it’s horrible feeling like that. Let us know how you get on xx

 

[Definitelyme]

Cradle cap: I always just leave it. I’ve found that if you get rid of it it just comes back. My eldest son is almost 6 and still has some, but his hair is so thick you don’t see it.

Transferring baby: wait for them to do their little sigh after about 10/15 mins. That means they are well asleep, and so will be even more cross when you put them down no that is my indication they are passed out. I’ve also done the arm test.

 

[Moanyoldwoman]

I had the same for my two (now 12 and 11 - 15 months apart) and I did low lights, bottle/feed bath and bed nighttime routine from around a couple weeks to show them difference between night and day. I started off later the younger they were so 10pm from a couple weeks and then as they got older I slowly reduced it to 7pm. Only now they have started secondary school they go to bed at 8.30 and have always been great sleepers. I think the day/night time difference was very important and although I co-slept and breastfed my second (first was bottle fed and in Moses basket until cot at 6 months) I still managed to somehow stick to the routine more or less.
As you get to know your baby, their personality and routines you work out what works and it’s also trial and error.

 

[Babyyoda88]

It was me who posted it. We’re now in a routine where we put it in the crib before I change and feed him. By the time I’ve finished and he is asleep, the crib sheet is warm not hot. I swaddle him and remove the pad.

I repeat this for every nighttime wake up/feed. I’ll also use it in the Moses basket if he is being particularly difficult to get to nap in the day.

I’m not sure if we’re making a rod for our own back but it has definitely helped which is all I care about at the moment x

Brilliant thank you. Baby seems to have taken more to the Moses basket. So might try her in that tonight. She screams bloody murder when she gets a nappy change haha.

 

[mg89]

Hey everyone it’s my first post on here since having my baby just over a week ago! I am loving being a mum and I have never loved my partner more watching him with her abs how attentive he is even if he did record me snoring and dribbling this afternoon.
This is such an odd thing to say but has anyone had the feeling when they wake up that they are still holding their baby abs have to looking him or her I know she’s in the cot but it’s like my arm is still holding her x

Congratulations! I had this all the time in the early days. I'd think the feeding pillow was him and would pat it, feel it and think it was baby as it slipped down the bed! I also would pat/stroke my other half's back thinking it was baby! There were also many times when I would sit up and ask where he was, with my partner telling me he's in the crib. Think it's just sleep deprivation and adjustign to having another person to look after!

 

[LilyRose1234]

every morning he always makes sure he says he has less sleep than me. But any time I go down there, no matter what the time, he's snoring his head off.
He was at 3am and he was just now.
But he'll say he's had like 2 hours sleep.

He came and woke me up at 2am wanting sex. Told him to fuck off

If he’s adamant he gets less sleep on the sofa, maybe you should swap for a night - he can get up with the baby and you can have peace on the sofa!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I wish I had some advice for you, but I have lots of love instead (not so useful). I can’t imagine how horrendous this is for you and your OH, and your son too. Are you still in hospital or have you been allowed home? You should ask in NICU if they have anyone you can talk to, because I imagine all families who end up in NICU need support x

I'm home from hospital but I am in hospital accommodation so it's not too bad I still feel like I am close to them. But I need to go home soon as my son still needs me to be his mummy too . There's a lot of trauma counselling offered and lots of support groups I don't think I could do it to be honest. Thank you for allowing me to vent on here!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Resent is defo the right word for it!
She eventually stopped cluster feeding at about 2.30 and he came to bed about 4am and wanted a chat, honestly thought I was gonna kill him on the spot
To be fair he has brought me breakfast in bed...let's see if I can squeeze a couple of hours out him so I can wash and dry my hair later

On another note....I'm going to a festival next weekend, all day Sunday, with my friends so baby is staying at home with dad . I've been expressing for weeks so that there is enough breast milk for feeds but it just kind of dawned on me that I'm going to end up engorged and probably leaking everywhere when I'm out is the only solution to this pumping and dumping in a portaloo half way through my day? anyone have any better ideas?

 

[LilyRose1234]

Totally get this! I’m envious of women that don’t have to prep bottles before they go out and spend their evening sterilising

If it makes you feel any better I’m going out for a day in 3 weeks (without baby) and will have spent a month pumping and making sure she’ll take a bottle if she’s having a meltdown (usually uses the boob) without getting her too reliant on it that she stops taking boob, so it comes with its own little faffs and quirks,. Must say thought I have so much respect for all the sterilising and cleaning you must do! Especially if baby then decides they’re not hungry

Also, update: got baby into her bed, still asleep, although she then woke up every 90 minutes for a feed which she hasn’t done since about week 2

 

[Kitt]

We’ve been having so much trouble with nappies leaking at night. He sleeps on his side and some mornings he’s soaked to his armpit. He’s not fussed, and it’s not a huge hassle…. But we cosleep and this morning he’s leaked so much and we’d been so close together that I was soaked through with wee

I reckon you just wet yourself and you’re blaming the baby!

just kidding, my one also sleeps on his side and every now and then he leaks up the side. I do worry about him doing it on me at some point too!

 

[Hbirdette]

I am also in bed, baby on one side (attached to the boob) toddler asleep on the other. My stomach is growling

must remember to put secret snacks in my bedside table

 

[wakametango]

Didn’t believe you were pregnant?! What the actual fuck?!

You’ve got to wonder about GPs sometimes. They can be on a totally different planet. And (I certainly don’t wish to be ageist or sexist, just my own experiences) but the old ones, and the old men in particular, are the worst in my experience

Yes!! He was old!
yep I went to a&e with chest pain and I left without discharge notes (never heard of them, didn’t know they were a thing.) On my way home they called to say I was pregnant, so I rang GP to say I needed medication to stop my blood from clotting (I had some off medication two weeks prior as my 6 month course was finished) and he said as I didn’t have a discharge letter to prove the pregnancy there was no point researching what medication I needed, how much & when I’d need to start it

I self referred to hospital and got my own medication and told the surgery I never wanted to speak to him again

 

[Easilyannoyed]

I went to baby yoga yesterday, I was completely knackered after it never mind the baby. Trying to hold your baby while squatting and balancing on one leg, fuck me

3 more classes to go but it was good to get out the house.

No joke probably would split in half if I attempted this

 

[Hbirdette]

oh my goodness are you serious? Does he look massive for his age or is he just long?

I mean.... he’s chunky lol mainly around his thighs, but my husband has chunky thighs too so I’m not surprised. It’s mainly his length though, no one ever believes how old he is