New baby and post birth advice #3

[mg89]

@OIM @WhatABore is right, mine are horrendous sleepers. I remember going back to work and my eldest was then 17 months and waking several times a night and I was like a zombie.

I don’t think that there is much to be done, sadly. If she’s hungry then there isn’t any way to stop that. Hopefully the rolling part eases in the next few weeks.

What I would suggest is making your time at home as easy as possible so you aren’t rushing home worrying about doing it all when you are already knackered. So I found getting shopping delivered, using the slow cooker, and hiring a cleaner were essential back then. It meant when I came home exhausted, and still had a full night of work ahead of me, the house wasn’t also in disarray. You can’t change work, you can’t change her sleep, so trying to sort out the other bits is what helps me x

Great advice, I have been thinking about getting a cleaner. We utilise the slow cooker weekly but think that as winter draws in, we will use it even more. I guess one positive from being at work is that the house won't become a tip every day!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Might be a stupid q but do you put a short sleeve bodysuit under leggings and tops? When would you use a long sleeve bodysuit? I have absolutely no idea how many layers she needs

I put short sleeve bodysuit under leggings and tops, I use the long sleeved ones for dresses when it's a bit too cold for a short sleeve one. At night she's just in a short sleeve body suit and a 1 tog swaddle but my room is roasting all the time.

I was always just told one extra layer than what I have on so if I'm wearing just a t-shirt she has the body suit and t shirt. But I'm I'm ftm too so I'm just learning as I go along

 

[lexle]

Bit of advice if possible, does anyone know when it’s “safe” to pump? Like I read online not to pump in the early stages because it can affect supply but I’m 4 weeks in now and I’d really love to be able to pump (sometimes) so I can have 1/2 nights a week where my partner can feed the baby at night (if he’ll take the bottle) so I can get a bit more sleep. But I don’t want to end up with an oversupply or nipple confusion or any of the negatives you read about online.

I’ve pumped since day 5 (day 13 now) and I think we got really lucky that she accepted breast and bottle straight away. She does love her milk though so I think she doesn’t care what it comes out of I usually pump once maybe twice a day to keep a good stock in the fridge as I use a bottle if we’re out anywhere

 

[WhatABore]

Thanks I've just looked up the 666 rule! But what I'm confused about is let's say I take the bottle out of the steriliser but don't use it straight away, but I open it up to pour the breast milk into later that day and put it in the fridge. Does this mean the bottle is no longer sterile as I haven't used it straight away and it hasn't been kept in the steriliser?



That makes sense about the breastmilk.

Tbh it seems like the UK is particularly anal about sterilising. I spoke to a French friend about this the other day and she pretty much laughed in my face and said she's never heard anything like it. Also what about when babies randomly start putting stuff in their mouth, we surely can't always ensure every single thing they could possibly put in their mouth is sterile?!

I always said before, they want you to sterilise bottles until 1 year... But you don't sterilise boobs before feeding?
I've also never been told to sterilise bowls or cups or spoons ect when feeding. I don't sterilise their hands constantly or their toys.
But bottles supposed to be to 1 year

Bit of advice pls... just been to check on baby before I go to sleep.... sleeping on his tummy! Is it ok to leave him? He’s 6 months.
can’t say I’m surprised as we are both tummy sleepers but just checking if I’m ok to leave him or not?

It is as soon as they get to they age they can roll onto their front, it's safe to leave them. Mine started doing it at 4 months. I hate it.

 

[WhatABore]

Why the hell do you need to be on a set of scales straight after having a baby anyway?!

I think i may have told this story on here before, but it fits with the theme so…

After my first I lost more blood than they realised (I ended up needing two transfusions). They were keen for me to be up and have a shower so even though I felt rubbish I went on in. Had been in about 30 seconds and suddenly realised I was going to pass out. I just remember sliding down the wall, yanking the red emergency cord I come to, shower still running, me bleeding everywhere and FOUR midwives round me. They each grabbed a limb to haul me out because, despite their repeatedly telling me to get up, every time I even sat up I passed out again. So they had to carry me out to the bed while I was naked, soaking wet and bleeding everywhere. Such dignity

I think it was for the weight for the blood thinners.
Although this time, it took longer waiting to be discharged because they used my weight when I first came in to be induced.
Then they weighed me the morning after giving birth and were like oh. You're a different weight now, we need to tell the pharmacy because they'll have prescribed the injections based on your weight before

Why?! Isn't it common sense that I'd weigh less after birth?

 

[Definitelyme]

I am another fan of the method @123456!!12/ mentioned her husband does.

Have them sitting up, lower them down and then quickly sit them up again. Never fails here.

 

[BattleAxing]

I totally agree! We liked a name and mentioned to our family before my daughter was born, they all loved it but we said we still weren't sure as we didn't get the same vibe as we picked my sons name.
We eventually found a name which we loved and knew it was her name, told family this was 100% her name and my family took it so badly as they hated her name. It made me feel so shit, they'd refer to her as the baby and not her name when I was pregnant but before called her the other name. They'd make comments about it about how it's not a feminine name and I couldn't call my daughter her name. They actually stopped talking to me for a few days over it. Now they love it and can't see her being any other name. Tbh if someone told me their babies name and I wasn't keen on it, I'd still be nice about it as it's not my choice!

I loved a girls name when I was younger and told one of my best friends about it, fast forward a few years we fell out. I find out via Facebook she called her daughter the name I loved when I was younger it really got to me!

If I were to ever have another baby, I'm keeping my mouth shut for as long as and telling no one their name hahaha

A mate of mine (she's actually my exes ex and has the entire town on her facebook) she was a few weeks further along than me and keeping the sex of her baby a suprise for herself but had lined up a boy and a girl name from quite early on. She asked me what I was calling my son, I told her. A week or so later she announced on Facebook that she was changing the boys choice but it was this big secret and she was only giving away the initial. It was the initial of my sons and I just had a gut feeling ... I really crossed my fingers she was going to have a girl... She was in labour for days and I was anxiously waiting for her Facebook update... Little boy. Shamelessly stole the name - it's not an unusual name but it is very uncommon! I had weeks to go and really didn't want to appear although I was copying her so called my son a different name, which a relative suggested, it is slightly unusual but I fell in love with it. I actually cannot imagine my son being called the original stolen name at all now!!

 

[Definitelyme]

Have you got a pram muff thing for his legs? I always do coat and snowsuit. Coat for in the pram with the pram muff and snowsuit for when they’re in a baby carrier or walking.

I’ve picked up some barg coats/snowsuits on eBay for my 2. When they’re little coats hardly get really worn in so they’re practically brand new.

Just to say you shouldn’t use a thick snowsuit when they are in the carrier. It is best to use thin layers to prevent overheating, but also to allow better/freer bending of their legs to be in the correct position

Ignoring this looming heatwave, I’ve been looking into buying my boy’s autumn/winter wardrobe and was actually wondering wtf is best, a thick padded coat or snowsuit or pramsuit or would all three would come in handy? I’ve no idea.

I bought my older kids their winter stuff the other week. It arrived and the next day was 24C I have no idea what the difference is between a snow suit and a pram suit? I don’t like coats on little ones (as in non walkers) as I feel like when you pick them up the coat goes up and they don’t! They never look overly well fitted or comfy. I use a thick cardigan if it’s cool, and an all in one (a thin one) for when it’s colder.

 

[Definitelyme]

Trying to pack for a week away with a new baby is a whole other level of stress

Don’t forget to pack your own stuff! More than once I’ve been so caught up in packing for the kids I’ve forgotten things (like knickers ) for myself!

 

[Kitt]

Don’t know if cluster feeding is exclusively a breastfeeding term but it seems to fit what’s happening. Baby boy eats like 30-40ml every 40 mins to an hour rather than full feeds every 2-3. It’s especially tough from like 7pm-midnight. He just does not sleep at all between these times and fusses about 30 mins after eating and we have to make up a full bottle again. If he does drop off on me after eating, I’ll try to move him to his crib so I can get some sleep (cause I’m starting to pass out with him on me) and he wakes up and starts fussing and we start all over again. Just can’t seem to settle him in the evening - bedtime time slot at all at the moment and I don’t know how to solve it.

 

[Definitelyme]

My daughter is now 2 months old (she’s my second one, eldest is 4)
I’ve taken all of the newborn clothes out of her wardrobe. She will be my last baby, I thought I’d be really sad but all I’m feeling is relief.
Relief that I will never be pregnant again, never be postpartum again.
im excited for my girls to grow up together and excited to see their relationship grow.

That is so lovely! I also thought I’d feel sad getting rid of all the baby bits (this is No4 for me) but I don’t at all. I don’t know if it’s because they are going to my sister who is due soon, but either way, I don’t feel sad. I never thought I’d feel “done”, but I definitely do now (much to my husband’s relief!). It’s so weird, but also nice not to feel sad!

Now to wait patiently until I am a granny and have grandkids to snuggle

 

[LilyRose1234]

It sounds like you’re working really hard at this, you should be so proud of yourself It’s not easy at all, and you’re giving it everything you’ve got. My only advice with bf is honestly stick a boob in there every time they start to grizzle even a tiny bit, even if it’s only 10 mins since the last feed, just pop her in every time she squeaks. Even if she only gets a little bit each time it all adds up. Some babies do feed more “snacky” than others. I know plenty of babies would happily go 3 or 4 hours between feeds but mine have always been snackers and like to have it every 3-4 minutes! So maybe your girl is the same if she is after frequent feeds?

I think you said this to me and it has honestly made all the difference - every time she starts being slightly grizzly I offer her a boob and she’s much better for it. Once I stopped trying to follow the book on how often they should feed and just started winging it, it’s been much better (although I still have the occasional melt down that she feeds too much ). She’s just a snacky baby She feeds little and often. @Chickenandgravy no one ever mentioned it until I cried to the midwife and she told me it was normal - WHY DIDNT YOU MENTION IT BEFORE THEN?!?

I think you said this to me and it has honestly made all the difference - every time she starts being slightly grizzly I offer her a boob and she’s much better for it. Once I stopped trying to follow the book on how often they should feed and just started winging it, it’s been much better (although I still have the occasional melt down that she feeds too much ). She’s just a snacky baby She feeds little and often. @Chickenandgravy no one ever mentioned it until I cried to the midwife and she told me it was normal - WHY DIDNT YOU MENTION IT BEFORE THEN?!?

@Kitt i have the Konny baby and the koala baby one from Amazon. Highly rate them!

This parenting business is full of so much worry isn’t it!


5 week old will sleep for much longer on me than in his crib (I know this is normal). But the problem is that I can’t have him lie on me for an extended time and not fall asleep myself. I hate the worry that I’ll fall asleep and something bad will happen.

It’s either have him have 1 hour naps in his crib or let him sleep on me and he’ll nap for 3 hours but I’m taking a risk

Sometimes when I’m in bed and she doesn’t settle I fall asleep with her on my chest. It’s not ideal but sometimes it happens! I try not to have any pillows around, keep the duvet down by my waist and wear a top so I don’t get cold and risk pulling the duvet up. She usually would sleep horizontal so if she rolls it’s down not underneath me. Please don’t kick me out for being a rubbish mum Now I’ve cracked lying down feeding I do that early morning and keep her in bed with me - I lie on top of my arm so I can’t roll if that makes sense? - move the pillows and do the same with the duvet.

 

[Definitelyme]

Might be a stupid q but do you put a short sleeve bodysuit under leggings and tops? When would you use a long sleeve bodysuit? I have absolutely no idea how many layers she needs

We haven’t used vests since around June time, just started again this week as it got colder.

I have them in
• short sleeved vest and baby grow until about 6 months
• short sleeved vest and outfit (eg leggings and a top)

I don’t use any long sleeved vests.

Then add a cardigan at cooler times for going out, or when it’s cold I use a fleece all in one over the top of whatever they are wearing. I don’t use snow suits as they are impractical for the car and sling. Honestly, she’ll be fine in whatever you put on. Have extra layers handy in your change bag just in case. I repacked mine this week with hats etc for the cooler months ahead.

 

[WhatABore]

My little one is 6 weeks today, I’m pretty sure he’s going through a growth spurt. For the last few days, he’s pretty much constantly feeding but only short bursts, very fussy (both on and off the boob) and generally unhappy. He’s not sleeping during the day like he usually would and is only catnapping for 5/10 mins at a time, I’ve managed to get a decent nap by walking but other than that they’re short. Am I doing the right thing by just letting him sleep as he needs now? Should I be trying to make sure he’s sleeping for longer stretches?

Go with the flow
They'll only sleep when they want to. And even then they'll fight it
Since about 10/12 weeks, my daughter has only slept in 20 minute bursts about 3 times a day. Now at almost 6 months, we're lucky if she sleeps for the 20 minutes

 

[123456!!12/]

Bit of advice if possible, does anyone know when it’s “safe” to pump? Like I read online not to pump in the early stages because it can affect supply but I’m 4 weeks in now and I’d really love to be able to pump (sometimes) so I can have 1/2 nights a week where my partner can feed the baby at night (if he’ll take the bottle) so I can get a bit more sleep. But I don’t want to end up with an oversupply or nipple confusion or any of the negatives you read about online.

 

[Kitt]

Finn woke up every hour and a half. He was super uncomfortable (think this was his constipation giving him grief too, he did a huge poop this morning though!). Not the best night but at least he did sleep in his little chunks rather than being unsettled for a long time like he has been. Husband got up with him at 6:30 and let me sleep longer so that was nice as well. Enjoying the slightly cooler day today!

 

[Dicky Tum]

Love the two posts above about feeding to sleep, wish I'd had this type of forum with my first! Spent so long stressing about sleep signs, putting them drowsy, wake windows, etc. I feel like that is all BS now, put out there by sleep consultants trying to get money of vulnerable mums!
Need more voices out there saying feed to sleep and sometimes no matter how hard you try some babies don't like to nap!

Anyone got any tips or just reassurance about PP hair loss?
Experienced a bit with my first but this time around it is a whole other level! Huge clumps of it coming out in the shower and my hoover bag must be just hair ATM. Baby is just about 4 months so I'm hoping it might slow down soon. Already taking hair vitamins but is there anything else I can do?
Luckily my hair is quite thick so I'm not worried about it showing too much, it is just quite distressing (and gross) to see my hair everywhere

 

[Sw4]

Hi ladies. I am really struggling, hence not being able to get on here much but I'm hoping you might be able to offer me some advice...

Baby boy is 5 weeks + 2 days now, and over the two weeks or so he has become so upset. He wakes up crying, he cries through a feed, he cries after a feed, and then he basically cries up until he falls asleep (if he falls asleep because he often skips a nap because he's so wound up).

He struggles bringing up wind and is obviously in a lot of pain. I've tried the cycling legs, tummy massage in a clockwise direction, cuddling, all sorts of winding positions but I really feel at my wit's end. It's not nice seeing your baby upset the majority of the time he's awake. He takes the odd feed easily and it makes me feel like a brand new woman, even if he cries after, but the majority of times he spits out and cries a lot for a good half an hour before taking any properly and it's a real ordeal.

It's such hard work in the week because I'm alone all day, I can't drive because of the c section and since my wound became infected I've been told to not get out for walks and to rest, so I feel like I'm going a bit mad in the same 4 walls, with his screaming as my sound track. I feel utterly useless that I can't quickly stop my baby from crying and it's really soul destroying.

Any advice pretty please because I'm out of ideas, other than maybe calling the GP on Monday. But I don't know if "my baby always cries and it's making me sad" is a valid reason.

Hi, we had this and it started around 4-5 weeks too. She would really strain painfully as if she was constipated but she wasn't, and was often so bloated and clearly in pain. Infacol seemed to work for a bit but then stopped making much difference. If you're breastfeeding, I found cutting down on spicy foods and gassy stuff (like beans etc) helped a bit. Also giving up dairy recently has seemed to work wonders- I'm not sure if it was coincidence as little one is nearly 12 weeks now and they do say most digestive issues/colic work themselves out by 3 months. But the odd time I've had something dairy without thinking I feel like she becomes unsettled and strainy the next day again. So it might be worth a try?

 

[Ilando]

Hoping it’s just the heat that have thrown things off track in our household.

Baby is exclusively bf but would not settle last night at all. I’m no expert by any means but I’m convinced I’d run out of milk (5 weeks of feeding and it has been going well). He was rooting and rooting and just couldn’t seem to get anything. I caved him and gave him a small bottle of formula which settled him.

Have breastfed him this morning so will just have to see what today brings. I’m hoping it’s not an issue with my supply and just a blip.

Just when you feel like you’re getting the hang of something, things change and throw everything up in the air again

 

[WhatABore]

Hi everyone, I feel like I can finally move over to this thread now by baby girl is home and out of NICU. The times I stayed with her in hospital and last night (first night at home) we can’t put her down to sleep she’ll only sleep on us. I don’t know if one of the reasons is because her next to me crib feels cold to touch (even though the room temperature is correct) can anyone recommend a heat pad or something and has anyone used one before with success?

I have no suggestions for you apart from you're not alone with it.
It seems to be a stage they all go through. I think 99% of us on here have had the same

Have you got a hot water bottle you could pop in the cot before you put her in, just to try it first?