New baby and post birth advice #28 being a mum is the best present I could have ever wished for

[orange club biscuit]

I’ve just also had a go at my mum (I know I shouldn’t have, but I just couldn’t help myself) for force feeding the baby and shoving food into her mouth poor thing was turning her head to try and avoid the spoon. Then she’s just called her ‘greedy’ for grabbing a handful of crisps straight out of the bag, as if babies have the capacity for that…honestly, it makes me so uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do about it as she doesn’t listen to me!

 

[Dipdab]

me doing an @I’mThankyou_ and emailing sainsburys to complain that there were no twin trolleys to be found in my local shop this morning

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

We're going to do some baking today! But it's with a potty training toddler so will undoubtedly end in piss and disaster

 

[LilyRose1234]

Baby Rose slept 8pm - 4.30am then 5am - 8am, and it genuinely by my blows my mind there are children who sleep like that every night

 

[Definitelyme]

and now I feel guilty because this isn’t even a real problem compared to what some of you have I’m so sorry

Firstly, please don’t worry that your problem is “less” than anyone else’s. If we all did that, we’d never “win” as someone will always be worse off. It doesn’t negate your problems and feelings

I think most, if not all, of us have felt this way too so we totally get it. Even now, with 4 kids and the youngest being 15 months, I still feel this way. I would never just walk off and start doing something, I always check in with my husband that he’s watching the baby before I do, whereas he just wanders off and starts doing XYZ whenever he feels like it It all comes back to how we are carrying the mental load, how we are the primary care givers, and how much it’s all taken for granted too
I hope he gets the time off, because you deserve to have a great birthday x

 

[calmyourritas]

So I’m trying to get into an evening routine of bottle, bath and bed and Mr Rita is making it very difficult.

Just bathed Baby Rita and said to KW, can you settle her in the Moses basket and try to get her to sleep I’m just popping upstairs to grab a 30 second shower (as usual) and then I’ll come and cook the dinner. Told him to put Ewan on if needed or lullaby playlist from Spotify.

Come downstairs. Has he got her to sleep? No. That’s fine. Is she settled? No. Is she in the Moses basket? No. Is he making any attempt to get her to sleep? No.

He’s put her on the play gym with the dancing vegetables birthday party blasting out ‍‍‍ baby is having a mini rave so now I’m trying to settle her AND cook the dinner at the same time because she thinks it’s time for a party and not bed time

 

[Borntorun]

Thread title this time is from @Easilyannoyed with 30 likes. Normally I try and pick something humorous but this was just too cute

A guide to the thread for new members:
Dress code? Pyjamas
Nothing is off topic or taboo - unless you’re bragging about milestones and you think you’re three week old can recite their times tables
Knobwaffle of the week nominations always welcome
We love a good doughnut
Thread titles tend to come from something random someone says during the chat. Please point out anything spectacularly title worthy so it doesn’t get missed

 

[Littleelf]

Not caught up but got the get this out, Been at my mums all day and we've just got back omg I am exhausted.

On the way down the main road to my mums was closed so we had to follow a diversion into the middle of bloody nowhere and doubled our journey time. Got there and spent the entire time chasing baby elf around the most un baby friendly house ever. 5yo was so hyped up because her cousins were there so she was running about like a maniac. My mums husband was telling all the kids off every 5 minutes. He also told of my sister boyfriend for not saying please hes that type of guy. My mum spent approx 0.5 seconds with the children then got back to her drinking and showing off her house. Babyelf was getting very tired at about 2:30 when he would normally nap so I suggested we make a move home as drive home is 1hr - so cue 30 mins of packing the car back up dragging 5yo away from cousins and my mums bleating on about how she never sees us. The get going road home is still closed so have to follow diversion again, get home and everyone is miserable from sleeping in the car.

Not to mention the trauma of being back in my home town which i find very very hard.

I am 100% having a voddy tonight. Not going down there for at least a few months

 

[Definitelyme]

I swear to god if I have to say “no darling we stroooooke dogs, we don’t pull their fur” one more time I will lose my fucking mind

ToddlerMe is obsessed with the dog. He gets his lead and tries to put it on (which is just whacKing the dog with the lead) and when we are walking him he cries until he can hold the lead. When we are at the caravan we have a cage for the dog, and ToddlerMe gets in the cage with the dog if you take your eyes off him for a second (just to say our dog isn’t crate trained, so he doesn’t have any special love for the crate, and he doesn’t seem to mind ToddlerMe getting in there, but we always take the beast out when we see it!) He also sits on his head, puts food in the dog’s mouth for him, tries to ride him like a horse (this is a big Labrador btw). He is a MENACE.
The poor dog puts up with so much from him without a complaint. He’s a saint.

 

[bottombanana]

I was relatively young when I had my first and we had to stay at my mums for a month or so and I remember he was 4ish months old and used to contact nap. She made a few comments about it, along the lines of making a rod for my own back and spoiling him etc, so the next day I put him down to fall asleep on his own and he was okay the first time I did it but the following day he cried and cried. I went to him after a while and contact napped because it was what I knew worked but my confidence as a mum was knocked and I genuinely believed that was it, he’d never be able to sleep without me etc and I cried and cried all evening. I was genuinely hysterical, looking back it was a bit dramatic but I thought I’d failed my baby. We carried on contact napping until he was ready to go to sleep by himself and at bedtime now my husband still lays with him until he falls asleep.
I feel so guilty that I let him cry that day, I was his mum and he needed me but I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing.
Listening to him cry didn’t make me feel good about myself, I didn’t get loads of other stuff done either. I just sat listening to him cry feeling guilty

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

i think you have hit the nail on the head there!

I don’t get it too often but when I do it’s from older people. My mum almost gets all offended and huffy when I explain that things are done differently now. I have tried to say that they weren’t doing anything wrong at the time but things have moved on and more research has been done to show a better approach. She just huffs and says well it never did you any harm.

Ah yes… my mum uses that one too. I mean, I have absolutely no memories of my mum until I was 12 but go off Susan tell me I’m fine

I really don’t understand this obsession with babies being ‘independent’ - sleeping by themselves, not ever needing comfort or support etc. Theyre only little for such a short period, why are we rushing them to grow up from the minute they’re born?

One mum at baby group constantly goes on about how she leaves her baby to cry unless she’s hungry because ‘she needs to learn some independence because I won’t always be there’, and I just think… imagine spending 9 months growing a baby inside you, nurturing it and keeping it safe, going through birth and then not even wanting to comfort them when they’re sad

 

[miaaaa]

Hey gang, hope you're all ok. @Littleelf I have no words for your KW, but I wouldn't judge you for digging him a very shallow grave and considering putting him in it!! In all serious though, I hope you're ok!

My friend came over today and we took all 3 kids for a walk, kids were all arse holes (apart from baby, angel as always) once said walk came to an end she literally ran back to her car and sped off. I wish I was joking I am the best contraception she could ever have muwahah

 

[calmyourritas]

Hun I hate to break it to you but it is the unpopular opinions thread, what were you expecting

I only want to read unpopular opinions when they‘re ones I agree with I shall not read any more

 

[Author123]

I for one am very much onboard with the motion that all mamas have to stay here until their kiddos are at least 30. How else will I be able to take advantage of all your wisdom, experience and kindness otherwise?!

 

[Celeste]

Promise I'll stop banging on about it soon, but in the comments of the photo of Baby C she posted on FB last night, my mum has written "I didn't realise how wonderful being a grandmother would be". Errrr your life has changed exactly 0%.

On another note, adding Baby C into the ballot to have @I'mThankyou_ as his MIL! He has the most handsome smile.

 

[LongishCat]

KW swanned off on an impromptu afternoon at the pub so I'm left here with both kids. Baby elf has refused to nap since 11 so he is MISERABLE. Trying to sort out some food for the 5yo one handed as he won't let me put him down. 5yo demanding all sorts, everytime I come out the kitchen shes asking for a drink, some sauce or whatever and I'm straight back in. Baby elf has definitely eaten cat food today everytime I blink hes at the bloody bowl! Now attempting to run a bath for the kids with a screaming overtired baby hanging off me.

KW just messaged to say hes "having a blinder" so staying out I'm mean ffs I haven't seen anybody accept my kids for months but okay mate carry on drink up get another round in dont worry about me

Could you still find someone to change the locks while he's out? What a prick...
Don't let hime try to get you to take 5 yo swimming.
In Dutch we say "wie zijn gat verbrandt, moet op de blaren zitten", which translates to "if you burn your butt, you have to sit on the blisters".

Don't know if MrCat is one of the lurking KW's, but he has booked us a surprise tomorrow, with Kitten, and told me he needs to go out tomorrow morning for... reasons... (Insinuating he'll go out to buy gifts). So that's pretty nice

I just went to visit my 1 week old nephew and he's soooo adorable! He's a big boy, 56 cm at birth, but compared to Kitten he is SO smoll I'm feeling so broody now! Although I still don't want to think of having another one before Kitten is at least a bit more independent

 

[orange club biscuit]

Honestly it's the best feeling in the world being your baby's safe space. When they are upset and they wrap their little arms around you and just melt into a snuffly cuddle and fall asleep. There is no greater joy or purpose to me than when your pet or baby sleeps soundly knowing they are safe and loved. I wouldn't trade that for a screaming baby, feeling scared and alone just so I can have more time hands free. I just don't get it. Who the fuck can honestly relax and god forbid, sleep! with that going on? Even if he did cry himself to sleep eventually, I'd be in knots and wouldn't sleep a wink knowing how badly I made him feel. I'd take a lifetime of broken sleep if it meant he was happy.

I love this. I get that contact naps aren’t always practical but I’ll bloody miss them when she refuses to cuddle me

Has anyone read the Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? I’ve just started it today and it is brilliant. My parents always make a big deal about the fact that they put me in my own room at two days old and tbh it makes me pretty sad to think of me as a baby alone in a cot in the dark

 

[Borntorun]

I’ve just been shit on

Is it too early to declare this the next thread title?!

 

[Rxt156]

If anyone of my teacher friends on here wants a good read go check out the unpopular opinions thread teacher bashing central over there 🫣

 

[jackolantern]

I have two daughters, they can marry two tattle sons. The boy can marry a tattle daughter, I will be the best MIL to the tattle children. come forth my children
I have cake.

I'm putting an early bid in for Tommy, pretend you didn't hear everything you've learned about him