New baby and post birth advice #28 being a mum is the best present I could have ever wished for

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Solidarity 4-monthers! It's such a lovely age too though, the giggles kill me, we were having a Disney dance party after dinner last night and he was just in bits watching his sister and grinning like mad at me, it's adorable!

But yes, naps longer than 30 minutes and sleep at night would be lovely!

 

[orange club biscuit]

Do you have a link to that? Were looking for something for baby cucumber's birthday

@Definitelyme has posted the link, the reviews looked great and apparently it was dispatched already will feed back when it arrives!

first full day of nursery and first day back at work for me poor baby cried her eyes out when she realised she wasn’t coming home with me! Haven’t had a call from them so assume (pray) she’s now fine….

@Crazycatlady18 SO many nursery germs here too, baby b now has the worse sounding cough ever. Hopefully it doesn’t take them long to catch everything going and then they’ll be immune for a little bit…

 

[Crazycatlady18]

@Definitelyme has posted the link, the reviews looked great and apparently it was dispatched already will feed back when it arrives!

first full day of nursery and first day back at work for me poor baby cried her eyes out when she realised she wasn’t coming home with me! Haven’t had a call from them so assume (pray) she’s now fine….

@Crazycatlady18 SO many nursery germs here too, baby b now has the worse sounding cough ever. Hopefully it doesn’t take them long to catch everything going and then they’ll be immune for a little bit…

Hope your day goes ok
Fingers crossed we don’t get too many germs but yes it’ll do her immune system good. Though it’s made her very grumpy

 

[Lulu Goss]

I feel like Baby Gs whinging is going to finish me off this week and it’s only Tuesday

I think it’s her teeth making her miserable but I’m giving calpol, teething powder as often as I can. She doesn’t want to play with toys for more than a few seconds, won’t stay sitting on the floor with or without me, doesn’t want to sit on my lap, throws herself off the sofa if I try to lay her down. I literally don’t know what else to do with her. She had a terrible night sleep last night and refused her morning nap so I took her out in the pram and just walked until she fell asleep. I was hoping she’d wake up in a better mood but she’s back to crying/whinging constantly again.

I’ve never felt like I need a break as much as I do at the moment

 

[Definitelyme]

I was due to go back to work in October but really didn’t want to go back to the same place, they promoted someone what I was doing before but they are getting paid more, new job title and I’m really annoyed I wasn’t considered for the promotion, I’ve been doing kit days and my smp doesn’t finishing until January but I was always helping out so it made sense to go back earlier.
Anyway I applied for a higher position at a different company, guess who bagged the job they said I can hold off for as long as I’m ready, it’s almost double my salary for less hours.

I’m buzzing (and can totally justify the fact I’ve just ordered a new car )

Congratulations!!!!! That is absolutely amazing!

@Definitelyme has posted the link, the reviews looked great and apparently it was dispatched already will feed back when it arrives!

first full day of nursery and first day back at work for me poor baby cried her eyes out when she realised she wasn’t coming home with me! Haven’t had a call from them so assume (pray) she’s now fine….

@Crazycatlady18 SO many nursery germs here too, baby b now has the worse sounding cough ever. Hopefully it doesn’t take them long to catch everything going and then they’ll be immune for a little bit…

Hope it all goes well today xx

I have to wake Tommy up for his bottle every morning and the one day I need to give him it late of bloody course he wakes early and starts screaming bloody murder

This child is going to be a satanist one day I’m sure

Yes, this is what the little sods do - he has learned the way early on. So mine lie in every day of the week so getting up and out to school is chaos. Then at the weekends they are up the earliest they’ve ever been every week without fail…

 

[I’mThankyou_]

The reflux has returned and I forgot how much I hate it, but it explains why T2 has been such a demon.
I hate making omeprazole up🥱

 

[wakametango 2.0]

The reflux has returned and I forgot how much I hate it, but it explains why T2 has been such a demon.
I hate making omeprazole up🥱

Oh my gosh, reflux is the devil

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Sorry KW rant incoming.

So he was working this morning, and I'm working just now so we swapped hannah over at work. She woke at 12 from her first nap (this was at 2pm), he proceeds to try and put her down for a nap at half 2 so he can shower?! And he's surprised she doesn't want to go down and is screaming the place down and throwing all her toys out the cot etc. She's one, so a short wake window obviously isn't going to work. I said take her out in the car then "but I need to shower" ehhhh im sure you can go a few hours without a bleeping shower. Jesus christ I've got days without one cos I can't put her down some days. So now I'm in work stressed that she's probably so upset and he's getting frustrated with her honestly what a head

Also see if it's that much of a fuxking drama, take her into the bathroom with you, take toys or put on ms Rachel and have a quick shower

 

[absolute-omnishambles]

Why do people tell you that newborns nap all the time?

Omnibaby is 7 weeks old and doesn’t nap. At all. She’ll fall asleep on the boob then rouse 4 minutes later to drain me of even more milk. She eats and poos and gurgles all day.

She sleeps well at night, so I should feel lucky- but I can’t do anything. Leave her alone too long and the screams turn to yells, only quelled by boob or her non-milky dad jiggling her around.

I’ve tried giving her a rhythm- up for feed first thing, change, a walk in the sun, etc. but as soon as you put her down in her darkened room with the white noise on…she’s still wide awake.

She’ll only start snoozing at about 8pm, and that’s light sleep. She’ll be up every 30 minutes or so until midnight.

Is this normal for this age? I was hoping I had a few more weeks of her being a sleeping potato

 

[Lilykins]

Why do people tell you that newborns nap all the time?

Omnibaby is 7 weeks old and doesn’t nap. At all. She’ll fall asleep on the boob then rouse 4 minutes later to drain me of even more milk. She eats and poos and gurgles all day.

She sleeps well at night, so I should feel lucky- but I can’t do anything. Leave her alone too long and the screams turn to yells, only quelled by boob or her non-milky dad jiggling her around.

I’ve tried giving her a rhythm- up for feed first thing, change, a walk in the sun, etc. but as soon as you put her down in her darkened room with the white noise on…she’s still wide awake.

She’ll only start snoozing at about 8pm, and that’s light sleep. She’ll be up every 30 minutes or so until midnight.

Is this normal for this age? I was hoping I had a few more weeks of her being a sleeping potato

Have you read up about the 4th trimester? At this age it’s very common and usual for baby to nap best on you - contact nap. My baby is also 7 weeks and he will go in his Moses basket but at most can sleep in there for 30/40 mins before he’s waking up and sharing interaction. Let him sleep on me and he can be gone for 2 hours or so! My toddler was like
This as a baby but around 3/4 months she stopped wanting to contact nap and was more willing to be put down.

 

[Loubywoobywoo]

Oh bloody hell, I’m sure the stress levels were through the roof

Maybe it was the change in pressure that was hurting Twin1’s eardrums? It affects me quite badly on flights too, even going through tunnels in the train can be unpleasant. Obviously my trick of sucking/chewing Mentos isn’t going to work, but could sucking on a dummy or chewing on a teething toy help?

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Why do people tell you that newborns nap all the time?

Omnibaby is 7 weeks old and doesn’t nap. At all. She’ll fall asleep on the boob then rouse 4 minutes later to drain me of even more milk. She eats and poos and gurgles all day.

She sleeps well at night, so I should feel lucky- but I can’t do anything. Leave her alone too long and the screams turn to yells, only quelled by boob or her non-milky dad jiggling her around.

I’ve tried giving her a rhythm- up for feed first thing, change, a walk in the sun, etc. but as soon as you put her down in her darkened room with the white noise on…she’s still wide awake.

She’ll only start snoozing at about 8pm, and that’s light sleep. She’ll be up every 30 minutes or so until midnight.

Is this normal for this age? I was hoping I had a few more weeks of her being a sleeping potato

I don’t know if ‘normal’ exists when it comes to babies, they’re all so different. Baby Waka would only nap for 30 mins, hated co sleeping & contact naps. I’d walk and put her in the carrier but she’d be awake for up to 10 hours at a time. She has little bags under her eyes in some newborn photos. But she was sleeping for chunks of 8-9 hours at night by week 9. I had to almost train her how to settle in the Moses basket then train her how to co sleep (I refused to have a baby that didn’t want to snuggle with me lol). She’s 11 months now and will sleep maximum 10 hours at night

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Also how do you know when to drop a nap? I thought something was working on her and that's why she's wasn't getting up till 8 but that's the last 3 days and she seems totally fine. Is that a sign that I should just give her a lunchtime nap?! I'm scared to cut one early and she is even more of a demon at night time (she's just turned one)

 

[Littleelf]

Haven't managed to catch up as I'm just drowning at the moment. I haven't got 2 seconds to sit and read anything at all So sorry to everyone for not engaging and just banging on about myself I don't mean too I've just got nowhere to vent and I'm struggling.

Summer hols has really got me. My 5yo had a bad day yesterday and had some major meltdowns, then she had night terrors that were the worst I've ever seen. Like a crazy demon who is asleep actually running about the house attempting to smash things up and screaming non stop for 45 minutes. It was very distressing. We have however finally realised that when she has lots of meltdowns in a day to basically be up and waiting for night terrors because it will happen. I think the neighbours probably think something terrible is going on in this house the shouting and screaming they must hear trying to get her assessed for autism but her teachers said they hadn't seen any signs at all and didnt think it was nessesary and our GP is reluctant to do anything without teacher support so I feel very stuck with her.

Baby elf is moving ALOT and I'm finding i cant do anything at all i can't turn my back for two seconds without him making a beeline for things that could hurt him. Most of the time he's whinging if he's down on the floor and I'm just at a loss of what to do with him, the sound goes right through me. I'd love to sit and play with him all day long but I have another child too who needs feeding and attention and a house that is a tit tip so I cant and I'm just literally drowning

KW said to me today "this is your job now try to cope better". No I have a job that pays me a wage, these are OUR children and I'm struggling so get off your ass and HELP ME.

 

[Definitelyme]

Haven't managed to catch up as I'm just drowning at the moment. I haven't got 2 seconds to sit and read anything at all So sorry to everyone for not engaging and just banging on about myself I don't mean too I've just got nowhere to vent and I'm struggling.

Summer hols has really got me. My 5yo had a bad day yesterday and had some major meltdowns, then she had night terrors that were the worst I've ever seen. Like a crazy demon who is asleep actually running about the house attempting to smash things up and screaming non stop for 45 minutes. It was very distressing. We have however finally realised that when she has lots of meltdowns in a day to basically be up and waiting for night terrors because it will happen. I think the neighbours probably think something terrible is going on in this house the shouting and screaming they must hear trying to get her assessed for autism but her teachers said they hadn't seen any signs at all and didnt think it was nessesary and our GP is reluctant to do anything without teacher support so I feel very stuck with her.

Baby elf is moving ALOT and I'm finding i cant do anything at all i can't turn my back for two seconds without him making a beeline for things that could hurt him. Most of the time he's whinging if he's down on the floor and I'm just at a loss of what to do with him, the sound goes right through me. I'd love to sit and play with him all day long but I have another child too who needs feeding and attention and a house that is a tit tip so I cant and I'm just literally drowning

KW said to me today "this is your job now try to cope better". No I have a job that pays me a wage, these are OUR children and I'm struggling so get off your ass and HELP ME.

I am so sorry that things have been so tough, and that you have absolutely no support from KW. That is utterly disgraceful what he said, he should be ashamed to call himself a father
Have you looked in to CAHMS for your eldest? I don’t know much about them, but I do know they can give a lot of support to families of children with varying needs. I think you can ask GP or even maybe HV for a referral.
It all sounds so overwhelming for you, and I’m just so sorry you don’t have any help to ease the burden when you need it most.

 

[WhatABore]

Also how do you know when to drop a nap? I thought something was working on her and that's why she's wasn't getting up till 8 but that's the last 3 days and she seems totally fine. Is that a sign that I should just give her a lunchtime nap?! I'm scared to cut one early and she is even more of a demon at night time (she's just turned one)

We knew it was time to cut one because she was getting hard to get to sleep for her second nap.

If they're still going to sleep fine for both naps, I'd say they still need them

 

[Definitelyme]

Also how do you know when to drop a nap? I thought something was working on her and that's why she's wasn't getting up till 8 but that's the last 3 days and she seems totally fine. Is that a sign that I should just give her a lunchtime nap?! I'm scared to cut one early and she is even more of a demon at night time (she's just turned one)

Usually when their morning nap starts getting harder to get them down for (or a grammatically correct version of that sentence ), and the same with their afternoon nap. So they aren’t tired enough for either, then they can just do one.
We are mostly still on 2 at 16 months which is quite late for it, some days he just does one if we are busy. Try a few days of just one and see how you get on.

Why do people tell you that newborns nap all the time?

Omnibaby is 7 weeks old and doesn’t nap. At all. She’ll fall asleep on the boob then rouse 4 minutes later to drain me of even more milk. She eats and poos and gurgles all day.

She sleeps well at night, so I should feel lucky- but I can’t do anything. Leave her alone too long and the screams turn to yells, only quelled by boob or her non-milky dad jiggling her around.

I’ve tried giving her a rhythm- up for feed first thing, change, a walk in the sun, etc. but as soon as you put her down in her darkened room with the white noise on…she’s still wide awake.

She’ll only start snoozing at about 8pm, and that’s light sleep. She’ll be up every 30 minutes or so until midnight.

Is this normal for this age? I was hoping I had a few more weeks of her being a sleeping potato

Sleeping potato has me

But yes, as a few above have said it is relatively normal, and someone already mentioned a wee Google of the 4th trimester. Boob, snooze, boob, snooze is about all my babies would do at that stage. Might even be both at the same time and all sleeping is on me.
In my experience 7 weeks is too little for them to settle in to much of a routine or rhythm, they are still 100% needs based at that stage. If you follow all her cues, feed and let her sleep on demand, you won’t go far wrong

 

[jackolantern]

KW said to me today "this is your job now try to cope better". No I have a job that pays me a wage, these are OUR children and I'm struggling so get off your ass and HELP ME.

Where is Mr Elf currently? Me and Tommy just want a chat...

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Haven't managed to catch up as I'm just drowning at the moment. I haven't got 2 seconds to sit and read anything at all So sorry to everyone for not engaging and just banging on about myself I don't mean too I've just got nowhere to vent and I'm struggling.

Summer hols has really got me. My 5yo had a bad day yesterday and had some major meltdowns, then she had night terrors that were the worst I've ever seen. Like a crazy demon who is asleep actually running about the house attempting to smash things up and screaming non stop for 45 minutes. It was very distressing. We have however finally realised that when she has lots of meltdowns in a day to basically be up and waiting for night terrors because it will happen. I think the neighbours probably think something terrible is going on in this house the shouting and screaming they must hear trying to get her assessed for autism but her teachers said they hadn't seen any signs at all and didnt think it was nessesary and our GP is reluctant to do anything without teacher support so I feel very stuck with her.

Baby elf is moving ALOT and I'm finding i cant do anything at all i can't turn my back for two seconds without him making a beeline for things that could hurt him. Most of the time he's whinging if he's down on the floor and I'm just at a loss of what to do with him, the sound goes right through me. I'd love to sit and play with him all day long but I have another child too who needs feeding and attention and a house that is a tit tip so I cant and I'm just literally drowning

KW said to me today "this is your job now try to cope better". No I have a job that pays me a wage, these are OUR children and I'm struggling so get off your ass and HELP ME.

God that sounds so tough, and your KW really does need a chat with baby Tommy and his axe!

I don't think they understand how hard it is meeting the needs of more than one child at the same time, my husband is generally great and only occasionally ventures into KW territory but I still think he'd lose his damn mind if he had to look after both children alone for even a few hours, never mind take them for a day out or attempt to cook tea etc etc. I've had a few different jobs and although they might be taxing in other ways I have never had a job so relentless, so exhausting and for such little pay!! So he can just duck right off with that comment.

Sending empathy and gin

 

[I’mThankyou_]

KW said to me today "this is your job now try to cope better". No I have a job that pays me a wage, these are OUR children and I'm struggling so get off your ass and HELP ME.

Knobwaffle doesn't cover this, it's time to draw for the big guns here....
C*NTWAFFLE