New baby and post birth advice #28 being a mum is the best present I could have ever wished for

[a.pain]

Oh, poor baby Hope it'll get better soon!
Does she have a fever?

Did the sugar test and also secretly tested in between myself My values seemed perfectly normal, so hoping it'll be fine! Will get the results next Friday

Also, Kitten is 40 weeks old today! I was induced on 40 weeks and Kitten was born on 40+1!
So grateful to have this little human in my life! My heart is so full when I look at her

I think I might want another, but I didn't really like pregnancy, nor the first few newborn weeks

Yeah it’s only a mild fever which is coming down with calpol but it just feels never ending at the moment. It’s been going on so long with no relief, I have her 24 hours a day and she’s up all through the night, and now being sick in the night, and I just hit my limit, told my husband how I was feeling and he was like ‘don’t know why you feel that way because you know I’ll take her for a night if you ask me’ but doesn’t seem to get that I feel I can’t ask him to because she needs me, because she will only feed from me. If he had her all night she’d be distressed. I know other mums will get this feeling, it’s getting on top of me a lot. Last time I was quite ill I had a bad chest infection and cough and continued looking after her throughout because I had to, all day and all night. Then my mother in law caught it off me and was in bed for five days straight. Makes you feel like bottom of the heap really but I know that is the price you pay as a mother and it is worth it…hard to see through the fog of screaming and vomit
More on topic, there is a part of me that wants three kids but this baby has been so hard on me I just can’t. She will be my last.

this is so self indulgent I would never say it in real life but on the internet….no one cares when I’m so tired I walk into walls, no one cares when I haven’t eaten or drank all day, no one cares when I am sick, no one cares that I continue to do EVERYTHING no matter what.Oh that feels a bit better
I know people do care but just needed that

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Baby slept! (I mean, woke at 3am for a feed, but he's a 4 month old baby so I expect that) and toddler slept!
First time in a good while that they've both had a decent night, I feel like a new human!

 

[Easilyannoyed]

Hey everyone just checking in I haven’t caught up yet I’ve worked weird days last week but finally orange has three more teeth cut and slightly better sleep me being a sucker for punishment drank shit loads yesterday and I had to make myself sick at 3am lol so I didn’t even get to enjoy the sleep! I will catch up tonight but love to you all and I hope all of babies have a settled night for us to sleep xx

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Promise I'll stop banging on about it soon, but in the comments of the photo of Baby C she posted on FB last night, my mum has written "I didn't realise how wonderful being a grandmother would be". Errrr your life has changed exactly 0%.

On another note, adding Baby C into the ballot to have @I'mThankyou_ as his MIL! He has the most handsome smile.

I think I'm gonna need some more babies aren't i

Ps. Your mum is a knobwaffle

I need @Definitelyme to become one of my children's MILS tbh, maybe they'll move to NI and wear balaclavas all day

 

[calmyourritas]

Sure you can do with one kidney anyway right?

Not quite the same situation, but when my nephew was born (full term) he was very unwell, had to be helicoptered to a specialist hospital at 1 day old and had 3 operations over a few weeks. My SIL didn’t celebrate his first birthday as she said she couldn’t bring herself to as it was just reminding her of how horrendous the NICU stay and the whole situation had been. They had a day together as a family, and then they celebrated 6 weeks later - on the anniversary of when he came home from hospital and their “proper” family life began. I know that it’s different for everyone, but just to let you know others have felt similar about a first birthday approaching.

This is so lovely I’m going to let Baby Rita have 2 birthdays from now on, she’ll be like the Queen. Well, she was born on Jubilee weekend after all

Lovely to hear from you @Babyyoda88

 

[jackolantern]

Baby’s slept so much today compared to normal I don’t know if I should be worried? He slept 9-5 last night, had a nap at 6-7:30, a nap at 10-11 and he’s now been asleep since about 3:45ish and is still sleeping. He’s usually a cat napper never going more than 30 minutes.

When he has been awake hes been quite whingy.

Can they sleep more at 4 months rather than less?

Wanna trade babies? I'll throw in a Polish axe?

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

I can understand trying to teach teenagers to be more independent so that they can survive in the world but doing that to a young baby is bloody awful!

They really are so young and little for such a short period of time, I can’t understand not wanting to nurture your child.

Bear in mind their baby is 2 weeks older than baby o. I initially thought she meant just at night but it’s in the day too. Poor kid is trying to crawl and will get frustrated/overwhelmed/overstimulated or just a bit grumpy like babies too and this mum will leave her lying on the floor crying while she carries on chatting like ‘oh don’t mind her, just being a drama queen as per’

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Thank you ill take a look. To be honest I'm so overwhelmed with information, and the more I read the more I doubt myself and think maybe she doesn't have autism and I'm just jumping on something to explain why she's so badly behaved at times....but today she's been pretty much perfect and she usually is at school so im lost




oh ill let him know. He knows he's in trouble

Could she potentially have ADHD if you’re thinking maybe not ASD? I remember you posting a while ago about your eldest and she sounds very similar to my eldest. ADHD runs in our families (both) and my 4yo behaves exactly as his dad did as a child (diagnosed ADHD at 5, which I think is quite early in comparison to these days!) Anyway, he has night terrors where he runs around like a demon, lots of meltdowns over seemingly minor things but is chilled as anything at nursery, masks massively but at home he’s like he’s a dream until he isn’t. Will throw things including trains at his brothers head () and will totally destroy my living room and anything in his path as if he’s on another planet and won’t be calmed down easily at all..doesn’t respond to discipline which is fine generally as he’s rarely “naughty” just extremely reactive (read as over-reactive). Following this he’ll be calm and say something so minor like “so what are we having for dinner” or “oh mummy…do you remember when…” as if nothings happened! It’s mad! I’ve never seen it in any of the kids I’ve worked with so we think he might be the same as his dad (confirmed by my MIL who feels “so sorry for me having to deal with this like she did” fuck off woman ) but anyway sorry this is long, just was thinking about it after your post!

ps. Her behaviour if she is ADHD/ASD/anything really is totally not on you as a parent, some kids are just extremely highly strung and very much struggle to deal with big emotions even later than the “standard” age that everyone says of 2 or 3. I had a big old slap in the face when I realised 4 was definitely NOT as plain sailing as everyone had described (or do they just leave that bit out in the handbook….) also KW is a twat, he should be SUPPORTING you to cope better. Give him a smack from me.

Hugs xx

 

[Borntorun]

i hate surprise visits. please don’t drop in EVER. Whether or not you’re passing/nearby/dying
I had a friend who refused to let his own mother in who was at the door because she didn’t call first

Pre-kids I didn’t care, I rarely lock my door and friends knew they were more than welcome to just let themselves in. But that’s because pre-kids, my house was always visitor ready. Now, I need about ten working days notice to make it semi presentable and tbh that actually involves shoving all the mess upstairs and closing the door

 

[Definitelyme]

@Sailorontheseasea as someone who has 4, I can honestly say it isn’t that much different to having three, IMO, and ToddlerMe is by far the hardest work (as a toddler, 6Me was a horrendous baby) out of all we’ve had, but even he hasn’t put me off wanting more! But no more here either, sadly.
Also, I’ve got to say that I do find it hard to be in every head space I need to be. It’s hard to be working at 9 yr old level with the emotions and issues going on there, and also working at 1 yr old level, jumping between the two (and 3 and 6 in the middle!) is the biggest challenge I’m facing. Trying to manage my own parenting strategies across the range we currently have is enough to tell me 4 is enough for us.
But logistically speaking, no different than 2 or 3 I don’t think. Just kids and stuff everywhere, mounds of washing, never ending feeding

 

[Definitelyme]

@onlyheretoorbit so sorry about the job That is always a kick in the teeth, have been there many times and it never feels any better (no matter what you try and tell yourself before you get the news)
Sounds to me like a successful day out, even if it didn’t feel it. I think half an hour or an hour at a big event like that is probably enough for a baby anyway, and I’m sure baby O loved eating Al fresco, so that’s a lovely positive. Sorry it felt overwhelming for you, those places can be so noisy and so MUCH that tbh I tend to avoid them. But you have it a go, it maybe isn’t for you, and you’ll know again.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Speaking of ages, the twins are almost 1, does that mean when they're toddlers I gotta leave here? Cause I'm invested I ain't going nowhere.
I'm gonna start using their corrected age to get me longer

 

[wakametango 2.0]

The other week ToddlerMe walked up to a woman who was sitting on a low wall (we also were, so he toddled Off from us to her) and just lifted her mobile from her hands. I was MORTIFIED

She’s nicer than me who got into a tiny tussle after a pompous little princess marched over to me and baby waka at a play & stay this morning and shouted to her mum that the toy Ice lolly I was holding was hers and proceeded to take it from my hands. I refused to let go simply because of her righteous manner she gave up and went to ‘wash up’ instead

 

[Crazycatlady18]

Aw thank you ladies!
Thankfully the sickness has gone and I feel ok.
I cried like a baby dropping her off. She was fine then I cried when I got to work. But I’m settling myself back in & our phone lines are down so it should be nice & quiet

 

[MrsLucas]

I’ve just put baby girl in 3-6m baby grow although her 0-3 baby grows seemed snug I almost expected the 3-6 to be too big. She’s my third and final baby I don’t want all these things to go so fast .

 

[Celeste]

I've just managed to bake for the first time in 8 weeks. Have missed it so much, now just to remember to get it out of the oven.

 

[Jellybean093]

I don’t know what to do with baby. He’s constantly falling and banging his head. He done it twice today within 10 minutes (he fell out the back door - there’s no height, but I think the bit at the bottom confused him - and then his toddler brother jumped at something knocking him over…
I think I’m going to have to invest in a little crash helmet. He had some calpol after the second incident, as I would not be surprised if it gave him a headache
He is now properly on the move, and has the whole of downstairs at his knees. Pray for me

 

[WhatABore]

I'm one of those that is always told to stop apologising. And then I apologise for apologising

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Man I was going to bid on Tommy, I think this spirited child needs an equally spirited husband!

Would she like to be the second wife?
I fear Twin 2 will eat any man she meets alive!

 

[PrincessShark]

I’ve had the comments about making a rod for my own back etc. An old man went on at me when I took my crying baby out the seat in the trolley in Tesco, how ‘no wonder the youth of today are like they are’ then proceeded to mutter about kids having kids. I’m over 30…


My fil once said to me to put the baby down and how I was spoiling him etc. These days he tells me what a lovely, well behaved and happy 7 year old I have. I always throw it back like ‘yeah see I didn’t make a rod for my own back did I’