New baby and post birth advice #26 Sweaty overcooked gammon babies

[WhatABore]

You're not a failure! Babies are just weird. Some sleep in their cot, others prefer sleeping in a sling, and other could probably even fall asleep in a drawer
But that doesn't tell us anything about you. From this post alone I can see that you're a loving and caring mother who only wants the best for her baby.
You are the best mom for your baby!
Also, welcome! Motherhood is a wild ride, but we're here to help you get through it!


Bad mom alert, Kitten loves sleeping on her stomach as well and I haven't been worried about that at all I'm also a stomach sleeper though, so maybe that's why She also only started doing it when she could roll over and back and she doesn't faceplant, so that helps.
I might just be weird though, because I've never cried when she gets vaccins either

Kitten has finally learned how to crawl forward! She looks like a seal on land though, it's hilarious

I'm another who has never cried getting their vaccines and the only reason I make my partner do it when they older is because I don't want them to blame me

 

[Definitelyme]

I need opinions, am I the KW or is my husband. We had a bbq today and afterwards we put a log in the fire pit and melted marshmallows with our toddler. We were originally making s’mores, I had one then we made one for toddler but he said he didn’t want it and just wanted to make melted marshmallows so I ate the one we made for toddler whilst he did a marshmallow with his dad. I don’t remember what happened next but my toddler ended up asking for a s’more and my husband said “better make it and eat it quickly or mummy will eat it”. I know he meant it as a joke and if he wasn’t always making comments like that I would take it as such but he’s always making comments like it. For example: after I’d just had the toddler and my wedding ring didn’t fit he said I “couldn’t possibly have gotten any fatter” (I’d had severe pre-eclampsia and a really traumatic birth), if I eat a biscuit he says “better have one now before you eat them all”, if I eat an ice lolly he “better have one before youve had them all”. So I told him to stop saying it because he'd “give me a complex” and that he always says it, he asked for examples so I gave them to him and he denied them so I told him to go duck himself and walked off. We haven’t spoken since and I know he thinks I should apologise for telling him to duck himself.
With my toddler is lost all the baby weight and more by 9 months because he was a relatively easy baby and I had the time to focus on exercise but Eden is so difficult that the first 6 months was just survival. Once he hit 6 months I managed to focus on exercising 5-7x a week and eating properly and have managed to lose 90% of the baby weight but I’m still not happy with the way I look so comments, especially repeated comments, make me a little sensitive

Get him on the end of a stick and in the fire pit. Absolute head. I do not care who you are, who you are talking to, how much they weigh, how much they’ve eaten, nobody has any right ever to comment on the physical size of another person, nor how much they eat. And that is both for "being too big" and too small. And "eating too much" and too little. It’s not on at all.

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Get him on the end of a stick and in the fire pit. Absolute head. I do not care who you are, who you are talking to, how much they weigh, how much they’ve eaten, nobody has any right ever to comment on the physical size of another person, nor how much they eat. And that is both for "being too big" and too small. And "eating too much" and too little. It’s not on at all.

Yes!!
Mr Waka tried it a bit after I had baby Waka and I told him I will purposely get bigger if he continues so he needs to let me lead in how I feel about my body not him. Also some gentle wobbling of his own belly and pretending to lift it up just to be able to spoon him helped him shut up

 

[Borntorun]

Baby Runner has spent the day determined to learn to crawl… but for some reason she can only go backwards?! She just gets crosser and crosser because despite her best efforts she ends up further away than when she started

 

[Definitelyme]

I'm having an issue with my mum atm because she constantly says every time I see her "oh don’t lose any more weight, oh you’ve lost so much weight, look how slender you are" (for reference…I’m not. I was just an absolute whale when pregnant with BabyMe I put on 4 stone…All the donuts caught up with me!)
But why does she feel the need to mention it? Especially in front of my 9yo daughter who I desperately do not want growing up with all the weight of diet culture on her. Just so uncalled for.

 

[WhatABore]

Baby Runner has spent the day determined to learn to crawl… but for some reason she can only go backwards?! She just gets crosser and crosser because despite her best efforts she ends up further away than when she started

My second was like this
Started backwards for weeks and weeks.
Then it went to a combat crawl on her front and then eventually learned to go forwards properly

 

[wakametango 2.0]

I'm having an issue with my mum atm because she constantly says every time I see her "oh don’t lose any more weight, oh you’ve lost so much weight, look how slender you are" (for reference…I’m not. I was just an absolute whale when pregnant with BabyMe I put on 4 stone…All the donuts caught up with me!)
But why does she feel the need to mention it? Especially in front of my 9yo daughter who I desperately do not want growing up with all the weight of diet culture on her. Just so uncalled for.

Honestly I’m finding the generational gap so difficult with my mum too. They just comment whatever the hell they want without a thought to the long lasting effects. I had to tell her to stop calling baby Waka big, big this, big that, the fact she apparently has a ‘big head’, imagine that being her internal voice!

 

[Crazycatlady18]

Nah I’m done with this heat. Trying to put babies to bed in a furnace is not fun is it

Hell no I have a sweaty whinge bag thrashing around over heated and over tired ‍

My second was like this
Started backwards for weeks and weeks.
Then it went to a combat crawl on her front and then eventually learned to go forwards properly

We’re still going backwards

 

[Dipdab]

Baby Runner has spent the day determined to learn to crawl… but for some reason she can only go backwards?! She just gets crosser and crosser because despite her best efforts she ends up further away than when she started

I was going to make this same post earlier. We’re only going backwards too. T2 slide herself under the sofa earlier by pushing back on her tummy. I have no idea how

 

[Dreamer*]

Thanks all

We are co-sleeping which I’m fine with apart from that she’s able to use the slight slope down from my body weight to sleep on her side and in the last couple of nights her front -,-

I can’t believe how hard it is! I thought I was pretty resilient but this has been something else

Baby dreamer is very attached to me atm as well which is making me feel guilty because she doesn’t really settle with my partner. He’ll be struggling to settle her and if I take her she calms down really quickly. It makes me feel really bad for him.

I can’t figure out how to quote reply but bottombanana- that’s horrible and so insensitive.

 

[LongishCat]

Baby Runner has spent the day determined to learn to crawl… but for some reason she can only go backwards?! She just gets crosser and crosser because despite her best efforts she ends up further away than when she started

Same here. Kitten would push herself up on her arms and then just slide backwards. Made her very annoyed
But she's finally figured out how to go forward and looks like a happy little seal doing it

 

[Definitelyme]

Same here. Kitten would push herself up on her arms and then just slide backwards. Made her very annoyed
But she's finally figured out how to go forward and looks like a happy little seal doing it

This has finished me off

 

[WhatABore]

I'm having an issue with my mum atm because she constantly says every time I see her "oh don’t lose any more weight, oh you’ve lost so much weight, look how slender you are" (for reference…I’m not. I was just an absolute whale when pregnant with BabyMe I put on 4 stone…All the donuts caught up with me!)
But why does she feel the need to mention it? Especially in front of my 9yo daughter who I desperately do not want growing up with all the weight of diet culture on her. Just so uncalled for.

My Mum is very weight focused.
Constantly calls herself fat and she's the cause of a lot of my issues.

A couple of times she called herself fat infront of my 4yo, back when she was 2/3. And I had to have a word with her and say I didn't want anything regarding weight to be spoken about around her. Especially as negatively as she always uses it. She'd make comments like "Grandma can't run that much, she's too fat"
Or she'd be holding her, looking in the mirror and be like "Oh look at all of grandma's fat"

Shortly after, coming up the stairs and my daughter was like "Come on mummy. Get your fat tummy up the stairs"
And it just broke me. Because I fought so hard for her to not use terms like that.
And then I also felt like I handled it badly because I didn't want to make "Fat" a bad word but then I'd also just raised my voice at her for using it. But I went into panic mode!


Luckily, my Mum hasn't used it since. And since then, it also means my Mum hasn't commented on my body
I do see her look me up and down constantly though. She doesn't hide it

 

[Borntorun]

Same here. Kitten would push herself up on her arms and then just slide backwards. Made her very annoyed
But she's finally figured out how to go forward and looks like a happy little seal doing it

Haha I love the happy seal image!

Her other new trick is she rolls on her side, then uses her legs to move herself in a circle,and every time she does it Im reminded of this one kid who’d always do that move at the school disco

 

[Definitelyme]

Thanks all

We are co-sleeping which I’m fine with apart from that she’s able to use the slight slope down from my body weight to sleep on her side and in the last couple of nights her front -,-

I can’t believe how hard it is! I thought I was pretty resilient but this has been something else

Baby dreamer is very attached to me atm as well which is making me feel guilty because she doesn’t really settle with my partner. He’ll be struggling to settle her and if I take her she calms down really quickly. It makes me feel really bad for him.

I can’t figure out how to quote reply but bottombanana- that’s horrible and so insensitive.

It is so normal for babies to prefer mum, all mine have as well (well in to toddlerhood).She is with you all day, she knows you best, you and her are two parts of one whole and while daddy loves her just as much, she just doesn’t know him in the same way.
But oh my goodness, being someone else’s everything is bloody draining.

 

[Rxt156]

@Borntorun this is what I’ve got in mind when I read your post

 

[WhatABore]

I saw a post the other day that said that babies act different/happier ect when they see their Dad's and other people and not you because they see you as an extension of themselves. They don't see you as a separate person

 

[Hannah_204]

This always moves too fast for my dyslexic brain!

@Borntorun omg I so want to know all the bridezilla gossip! Can you find a similar fake earring and just lie. Absolute madness to expecting someone to get a piecing for their wedding

@DaisyDaisy87 sorry I read the other day your staying off until he goes to school and meant to comment then life moved to quick! How are you feeling about it? Im so 50/50 about going back to work. I’m always interested because we were due date twins!

 

[Borntorun]

@Borntorun this is what I’ve got in mind when I read your post

Yes! This is exactly what she does!

 

[Definitelyme]

My Mum is very weight focused.
Constantly calls herself fat and she's the cause of a lot of my issues.

A couple of times she called herself fat infront of my 4yo, back when she was 2/3. And I had to have a word with her and say I didn't want anything regarding weight to be spoken about around her. Especially as negatively as she always uses it. She'd make comments like "Grandma can't run that much, she's too fat"
Or she'd be holding her, looking in the mirror and be like "Oh look at all of grandma's fat"

Shortly after, coming up the stairs and my daughter was like "Come on mummy. Get your fat tummy up the stairs"
And it just broke me. Because I fought so hard for her to not use terms like that.
And then I also felt like I handled it badly because I didn't want to make "Fat" a bad word but then I'd also just raised my voice at her for using it. But I went into panic mode!


Luckily, my Mum hasn't used it since. And since then, it also means my Mum hasn't commented on my body
I do see her look me up and down constantly though. She doesn't hide it

My in laws are AWFUL for calling people fat. They are exceptionally fatphobic (which seems to be a thing in their area, as I know many other people are too). They make comments about "fat people" all the time, just so unnecessary, especially around the kids. like you I try to make the word fat not have any specific "bad" connotations. One thing a friend told me was when people mention fat to say "we all have fat on our bodies, everyone has a different amount. Did you know fat stores energy for us so when we are getting tired and hungry it can give us a boost?"