New baby and post birth advice #2

[CrimeJunkie]

Baby boy won't settle unless he's being held.. any advice? I'm so desperate for sleep

I think our little ones are fairly close in age (mine is 16 days old today) and I've been having the same problem. I kept trying different things to see what she liked and lying her on my legs and swaying them from side to side until she falls asleep has worked (most of the time!), I then wait 10 minutes or so and transfer her into her moses basket and play white noise from YouTube all night. I find if I try and put her down as soon as she falls asleep then she just wakes up again! Also like others have said, take any offers from friends or family to watch them for an hour or so whilst you catch up on some sleep.

It's so so hard isn't it, I found that I started to dread the nights because I couldn't settle her. I'm longing for the days that she sleeps most of the night

 

[Upintheair83]

I think our little ones are fairly close in age (mine is 16 days old today) and I've been having the same problem. I kept trying different things to see what she liked and lying her on my legs and swaying them from side to side until she falls asleep has worked (most of the time!), I then wait 10 minutes or so and transfer her into her moses basket and play white noise from YouTube all night. I find if I try and put her down as soon as she falls asleep then she just wakes up again! Also like others have said, take any offers from friends or family to watch them for an hour or so whilst you catch up on some sleep.

It's so so hard isn't it, I found that I started to dread the nights because I couldn't settle her. I'm longing for the days that she sleeps most of the night

I could write this myself! My little one is 3 weeks!! Xxxx

 

[Definitelyme]

It's so so hard isn't it, I found that I started to dread the nights because I couldn't settle her. I'm longing for the days that she sleeps most of the night

I remember this feeling so well, oh goodness it’s an awful time. That uncertainty of what will happen tonight, how many wake ups, how little sleep will you get. I really feel for you being in that place, because it just absolutely sucks

 

[CrimeJunkie]

I remember this feeling so well, oh goodness it’s an awful time. That uncertainty of what will happen tonight, how many wake ups, how little sleep will you get. I really feel for you being in that place, because it just absolutely sucks

Thank you lovely it’s crazy because although I have so much support around me from family, friends and OH, I get the most overwhelming feeling of loneliness on the nights. Just have to keep thinking that it will get better… one day!

 

[Hbirdette]

Just had a totally random thought, in baby’s room we’ve got a cotbed and currently the mattress is on the higher setting but at what point are you supposed to lower the mattress down? Is it when baby can sit up?

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you lovely it’s crazy because although I have so much support around me from family, friends and OH, I get the most overwhelming feeling of loneliness on the nights. Just have to keep thinking that it will get better… one day!

Oh yes, I know that feeling well too. The nights feel like they go on forever, and everything is always much harder during those hours. I always found stuff I could deal with in the day pushed me to the edge at night, and I felt so lonely, and resentful of my husband at times too I know this isn’t any practical help though, but just want you to know I’ve been where you are.

Just had a totally random thought, in baby’s room we’ve got a cotbed and currently the mattress is on the higher setting but at what point are you supposed to lower the mattress down? Is it when baby can sit up?

When they can get themselves in to sitting, or start pulling up, but better sooner than later

 

[Hbirdette]

Oh yes, I know that feeling well too. The nights feel like they go on forever, and everything is always much harder during those hours. I always found stuff I could deal with in the day pushed me to the edge at night, and I felt so lonely, and resentful of my husband at times too I know this isn’t any practical help though, but just want you to know I’ve been where you are.



When they can get themselves in to sitting, or start pulling up, but better sooner than later

I thought that might be the case! He’s still in with us but I’ll get my husband to do it cause sometimes stuff like this takes him about 3 months to complete

 

[WhatABore]

I thought that might be the case! He’s still in with us but I’ll get my husband to do it cause sometimes stuff like this takes him about 3 months to complete

I've started mine from the middle and she's 4 months.
Just because I worry she'll suddenly learn to stand over night whilst I'm asleep so I'm paranoid ahaha never going to happen but

 

[Definitelyme]

I've started mine from the middle and she's 4 months.
Just because I worry she'll suddenly learn to stand over night whilst I'm asleep so I'm paranoid ahaha never going to happen but

Like that 6 month old who could walk

I thought that might be the case! He’s still in with us but I’ll get my husband to do it cause sometimes stuff like this takes him about 3 months to complete

That sounds familiar!

 

[Disneylifeonly]

Tonight I'm trying everything to get Thomas to sleep even a little
Ewan thr dream sheep is on
Hes in a full on swaddle instead of just the sleeping bags
Hes got his dummy
Praying for sleep before 4am tonight

 

[Hbirdette]

Tonight I'm trying everything to get Thomas to sleep even a little
Ewan thr dream sheep is on
Hes in a full on swaddle instead of just the sleeping bags
Hes got his dummy
Praying for sleep before 4am tonight

Really thinking of you I struggled with Ewan as it switched off after a short while. We currently sleep with a white noise playlist on Spotify all night and that seemed to help, or on YouTube. Sleep well Thomas and mama!

 

[LilyRose1234]

Tonight I'm trying everything to get Thomas to sleep even a little
Ewan thr dream sheep is on
Hes in a full on swaddle instead of just the sleeping bags
Hes got his dummy
Praying for sleep before 4am tonight

Got everything crossed that you managed some sleep! I don’t have a Ewan the Sheep so don’t know how loud it is but we currently have a fan and white noise app on (so double white noise!) which is quite loud but sort of works! (She still wakes up in the night of course but every 2-3 hours which I’m ok with)

 

[Icbaaaa]

Tonight I'm trying everything to get Thomas to sleep even a little
Ewan thr dream sheep is on
Hes in a full on swaddle instead of just the sleeping bags
Hes got his dummy
Praying for sleep before 4am tonight

Fingers crossed yous managed a decent sleep! Like others said as well, we play white noise and also have an ollie the owl - it's got a sensor that if it hears a noise it'll start playing and switch back off again. It is annoying cos when it starts playing again its so bloody loud that it wakes me up but doesn't disturb baby

 

[LilyRose1234]

I swear baby girl knows when we need to leave the house - had a nice big feed, changed her into a pretty sleepsuit, she did an explosive poo out the back of the nappy, wee’d everywhere as I changed her, managed to wrestle her into another sleepsuit before she looked me in the eye, opened her mouth and vomited all over herself we are now, unsurprisingly, running late

 

[Disneylifeonly]

So last night Thomas fell asleep at 2am, slept until 5 then woke up foe a feed and slept from 630 until 9am so I've managed some sleep

 

[WhatABore]

I swear baby girl knows when we need to leave the house - had a nice big feed, changed her into a pretty sleepsuit, she did an explosive poo out the back of the nappy, wee’d everywhere as I changed her, managed to wrestle her into another sleepsuit before she looked me in the eye, opened her mouth and vomited all over herself we are now, unsurprisingly, running late

I had this the other day. Got all 3 kids in the car to go pick my partner up (already late) .
Just strapping baby in... Look at her face and she's pooping

 

[Icbaaaa]

I swear baby girl knows when we need to leave the house - had a nice big feed, changed her into a pretty sleepsuit, she did an explosive poo out the back of the nappy, wee’d everywhere as I changed her, managed to wrestle her into another sleepsuit before she looked me in the eye, opened her mouth and vomited all over herself we are now, unsurprisingly, running late

OMG I feel you! My daughter done an explosive poo as well, all up her back, on my couch, her cushion and managed to get a bit in her hair don't even know how. She had her 12wk jags a few days ago and they did say to expect the nappies but I didn't expect that

 

[Hairraiser]

So I went for my GP appointment to talk about my PTSD & possible PND. From the minute I walked in she was rude & dismissive. I poured my heart out but was told that everything that happened to me was ‘standard birth’
If you can call having an emergency C-section at 35 weeks, under general anaesthesia, a post partum heammorhage losing nearly a litre of blood, a 2 day hospital stay in intensive care having blood transfusions, hadn’t met my baby for his first 48 hours, & went on to have further complications due to negligence from my consultant during the two lots of surgery I had, ‘standard’ then ok, perhaps I’m being irrational.
I’ve been referred to well-being and expect a 12 week wait, she will also write to my consultant who made the cock ups during surgery to see if I can be referred quicker.
tbh I’ve come away feeling worse, and that how I feel is completely irrelevant! She kept emphasising that my baby is fine & not spending weeks on end in NICU. I get that, of course I’m grateful but I’m reaching out cause I’m suffering now, it’s hit me really hard, I want some professional help cause I’m constantly fighting with my mind every single day!
Oh and to top things off, she also said ‘don’t let this put you off having another baby’ I replied ‘this baby was conceived by IVF, and it took a Long time to get to this point’ she replied with the usual ‘it could happen naturally for you, you never know’
Is that unprofessional or is it just me? had she read my notes she would of seen that I’m infertile, Fallopian tubes blocked, PCOS, & riddled with endometriosis!
I cried the whole way home & struggling to get out of this bad mood she’s put me in!
I was few mins late, which I apologised for but I feel like maybe that was what annoyed her, and it was a bad start.

 

[Icbaaaa]

So I went for my GP appointment to talk about my PTSD & possible PND. From the minute I walked in she was rude & dismissive. I poured my heart out but was told that everything that happened to me was ‘standard birth’
If you can call having an emergency C-section at 35 weeks, under general anaesthesia, a post partum heammorhage losing nearly a litre of blood, a 2 day hospital stay in intensive care having blood transfusions, hadn’t met my baby for his first 48 hours, & went on to have further complications due to negligence from my consultant during the two lots of surgery I had, ‘standard’ then ok, perhaps I’m being irrational.
I’ve been referred to well-being and expect a 12 week wait, she will also write to my consultant who made the cock ups during surgery to see if I can be referred quicker.
tbh I’ve come away feeling worse, and that how I feel is completely irrelevant! She kept emphasising that my baby is fine & not spending weeks on end in NICU. I get that, of course I’m grateful but I’m reaching out cause I’m suffering now, it’s hit me really hard, I want some professional help cause I’m constantly fighting with my mind every single day!
Oh and to top things off, she also said ‘don’t let this put you off having another baby’ I replied ‘this baby was conceived by IVF, and it took a Long time to get to this point’ she replied with the usual ‘it could happen naturally for you, you never know’
Is that unprofessional or is it just me? had she read my notes she would of seen that I’m infertile, Fallopian tubes blocked, PCOS, & riddled with endometriosis!
I cried the whole way home & struggling to get out of this bad mood she’s put me in!
I was few mins late, which I apologised for but I feel like maybe that was what annoyed her, and it was a bad start.

I'm so so so sorry this happened to you! She seems like a total rude hole! They should be so supportive of you. I was referred to a wellbeing service when I was pregnant and took ages for my appointment to come through, after I spoke with my HV she said I should have been put in touch with perinatal. Do you have your local perinatal number you could call and speak with someone there and explain? Or do you feel comfortable talking with your HV to see if they can refer you? They should have made you feel like that at all, to put it blunt you need help and you need it now, not 12 weeks. It's a lot going through pregnancy and labour, let alone everything you went through! You're not alone, don't be afraid to speak up

 

[moimoi]

So I went for my GP appointment to talk about my PTSD & possible PND. From the minute I walked in she was rude & dismissive. I poured my heart out but was told that everything that happened to me was ‘standard birth’
If you can call having an emergency C-section at 35 weeks, under general anaesthesia, a post partum heammorhage losing nearly a litre of blood, a 2 day hospital stay in intensive care having blood transfusions, hadn’t met my baby for his first 48 hours, & went on to have further complications due to negligence from my consultant during the two lots of surgery I had, ‘standard’ then ok, perhaps I’m being irrational.
I’ve been referred to well-being and expect a 12 week wait, she will also write to my consultant who made the cock ups during surgery to see if I can be referred quicker.
tbh I’ve come away feeling worse, and that how I feel is completely irrelevant! She kept emphasising that my baby is fine & not spending weeks on end in NICU. I get that, of course I’m grateful but I’m reaching out cause I’m suffering now, it’s hit me really hard, I want some professional help cause I’m constantly fighting with my mind every single day!
Oh and to top things off, she also said ‘don’t let this put you off having another baby’ I replied ‘this baby was conceived by IVF, and it took a Long time to get to this point’ she replied with the usual ‘it could happen naturally for you, you never know’
Is that unprofessional or is it just me? had she read my notes she would of seen that I’m infertile, Fallopian tubes blocked, PCOS, & riddled with endometriosis!
I cried the whole way home & struggling to get out of this bad mood she’s put me in!
I was few mins late, which I apologised for but I feel like maybe that was what annoyed her, and it was a bad start.

Goodness me, I’m so sorry you experienced that. I’d put in a complaint. We have a very similar birth story, and it boils my blood when people invalidate our feelings and experience when it was traumatic as duck!!!

Today at the GP for his 8 week check (at 11 weeks…), I told the GP he’s most likely my first and last after the traumatic birth and she was like ‘ohh no, you’ll have another one just don’t have the epidural’ which we both nearly died from.

I think the advice above is good, speak to your HV and ask to be referred to the perinatal mental health team. I had a speedy response from the perinatal team after I was referred.