@Hairraiser tbh I would be making a complaint about how dismissive she was, and how she didn’t take your concerns seriously at all. You are very clearly reaching out for help, and doctors should be bending over backwards to help you, as so many cases of PND are missed for so long. It’s an absolute disgrace that you were robbed off, I think it’s disgusting what she has done to you. Luckily, you seem like a very strong woman, who is ready to fight for the help she needs, and know that your treatment today was substandard. I dread to think what damage she would do to someone who doesn’t have your inner strength. Don’t listen to her. Don’t give up. Fight for what you deserve to get. I’m so sorry this happened x
New baby and post birth advice #2
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That's awful!!So I went for my GP appointment to talk about my PTSD & possible PND. From the minute I walked in she was rude & dismissive. I poured my heart out but was told that everything that happened to me was ‘standard birth’
If you can call having an emergency C-section at 35 weeks, under general anaesthesia, a post partum heammorhage losing nearly a litre of blood, a 2 day hospital stay in intensive care having blood transfusions, hadn’t met my baby for his first 48 hours, & went on to have further complications due to negligence from my consultant during the two lots of surgery I had, ‘standard’ then ok, perhaps I’m being irrational.
I’ve been referred to well-being and expect a 12 week wait, she will also write to my consultant who made the cock ups during surgery to see if I can be referred quicker.
tbh I’ve come away feeling worse, and that how I feel is completely irrelevant! She kept emphasising that my baby is fine & not spending weeks on end in NICU. I get that, of course I’m grateful but I’m reaching out cause I’m suffering now, it’s hit me really hard, I want some professional help cause I’m constantly fighting with my mind every single day!
Oh and to top things off, she also said ‘don’t let this put you off having another baby’ I replied ‘this baby was conceived by IVF, and it took a Long time to get to this point’ she replied with the usual ‘it could happen naturally for you, you never know’
Is that unprofessional or is it just me?had she read my notes she would of seen that I’m infertile, Fallopian tubes blocked, PCOS, & riddled with endometriosis!
I cried the whole way home & struggling to get out of this bad mood she’s put me in!
I was few mins late, which I apologised for but I feel like maybe that was what annoyed her, and it was a bad start.
I'd put in a complaint if I was you!
Although I can imagine you're fed up of having to complain about all the services you're receiving!
I’ve googled my local perinatal service but the only way to speak to them is via a referral? Is this something the HV can do? I feel I may get more success through them.I'm so so so sorry this happened to you! She seems like a total rude hole! They should be so supportive of you. I was referred to a wellbeing service when I was pregnant and took ages for my appointment to come through, after I spoke with my HV she said I should have been put in touch with perinatal. Do you have your local perinatal number you could call and speak with someone there and explain? Or do you feel comfortable talking with your HV to see if they can refer you? They should have made you feel like that at all, to put it blunt you need help and you need it now, not 12 weeks. It's a lot going through pregnancy and labour, let alone everything you went through! You're not alone, don't be afraid to speak up
just had enough of it all now, why are some medical professionals so out of touch with things like this?
It just makes you lose all confidence in them doesn’t it? I really hope they are able to be more supportive & helpful if my boy ever needs help in the futureGoodness me, I’m so sorry you experienced that. I’d put in a complaint. We have a very similar birth story, and it boils my blood when people invalidate our feelings and experience when it was traumatic as duck!!!
Today at the GP for his 8 week check (at 11 weeks…), I told the GP he’s most likely my first and last after the traumatic birth and she was like ‘ohh no, you’ll have another one just don’t have the epidural’ which we both nearly died from.
I think the advice above is good, speak to your HV and ask to be referred to the perinatal mental health team. I had a speedy response from the perinatal team after I was referred.
That’s a shame they even mentioned having more children, it’s not about the future it’s about now. Why do they have to be so dismissive?
I’m gonna contact my HV today and see what they say.
Totally fed up. I’m waiting on the report from the Incident, not sure wether to take it further or not..it’s a difficult one
I think I may complain yes. I think she’s new , cause I’ve never seen or heard of her before.
she kept saying, ‘oh perhaps I should of read your notes I would of know that’
Maybe she realised after a while that she was being awful. There’s so much to my birth story even way before IVF I had a lot of problems in hospital during surgery i had before so I’m losing faith in the NHS completely.
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Yeah your HV can, I spoke with my HV and she put in an urgent referal to perinatal the same day and they called me a couple of hours later. I wasn't sure if you could directly contact them or not, my service has given me their direct number. It's utterly ridiculous, like others said definitely put in a complaint! The way you're being treated is horrible. If you feel things are getting far too much for you and you need to offload, you could always call PANDAS (they specialise in perinatal), samaritins or breathing space. My HV also contacted my GP to prescribe me anti depressants and perinatal prescribed me other medication too.
Hi ladies, a lady I have been speaking to since finding out I'm pregnant gave birth yesterday and I'd like to send her a gift. My budget is £50. I was thinking maybe some food, but I wasn't sure, so thought I'd come to you guys for some ideas! Did any of you receive a present (through the post - we don't live locally unfortunately) that you really appreciated in the first week after giving birth?xx
Food 100%!!! It was the best present not thinking about what to cook everynight etc xx
I haven’t had my baby yet (just lurking on this thread to see what’s to come
) but a lot of new mums I know have said how much they appreciated vouchers for things like hello fresh/just eat as cooking is the last thing they want to be doing in the first few weeks.Anything in particular? I know she likes to eat quite healthily so wasn't sure what to do. For me a just eat voucher would be bloody lovely as I love a cheeky takeaway!x
Not sure if it's a national thing but we had some meals from the brand 'cook' not sure if they do a voucher or somthing so she could order some meals online xxedited with the link https://www.cookfood.net/menu/meal-boxes/new-parents
A family member emailed us a £50 Deliveroo voucher which was so lovely as they live far away and couldn’t cook us anything.
This is fab thank you, will look into it x
I will check her post code to see she gets it, because we don't get deliveroo here, even though I'm on the Essex/London border. Very strange!
You can get vouchers for a food company called “cook” all microwave/oven ready meals.
ETA: just seen this has already been mentioned
Yes thank you, I think I'm going to go for this option. They've got lots to choose from. Looks perfect. Thanks everyone xYou can get vouchers for a food company called “cook” all microwave/oven ready meals.
ETA: just seen this has already been mentioned
Food yes, some self care items.
I got a bunch of bath bombs because I love baths and it was the best present. And (not that people have to gift me things obviously) but they were the only person that actually thought about me and not just baby!
Good idea! Maybe I will send a little pamper kit as well, with a bath bomb or salts, face mask and space mask! Fab idea thank you x
Thank you, I will do that then. I think you may have told me about this before? But I genuinely thought the GP would be more helpful, I was so wrongYeah your HV can, I spoke with my HV and she put in an urgent referal to perinatal the same day and they called me a couple of hours later. I wasn't sure if you could directly contact them or not, my service has given me their direct number. It's utterly ridiculous, like others said definitely put in a complaint! The way you're being treated is horrible. If you feel things are getting far too much for you and you need to offload, you could always call PANDAS (they specialise in perinatal), samaritins or breathing space. My HV also contacted my GP to prescribe me anti depressants and perinatal prescribed me other medication too.
I already take fluoxetine but I don’t think they’re any good for me, I need something abit stronger!
Is 3 weeks post partum too early to have a period?!
My post partum bleeding had pretty much tailed off but yesterday and today its back to being bright red and clotty like a period
I'm exclusively breast feeding so I thought that kinda staved your periods off for a little while?
My post partum bleeding had pretty much tailed off but yesterday and today its back to being bright red and clotty like a period
I'm exclusively breast feeding so I thought that kinda staved your periods off for a little while?It most likely still your pp bleeding. Mine was on and off until 8 weeks this time, sometimes barely there, sometimes bright red again. Generally ebf does hold off your period (earliest I’ve ever had mine back is 9 months), but not always.Is 3 weeks post partum too early to have a period?!
My post partum bleeding had pretty much tailed off but yesterday and today its back to being bright red and clotty like a period
Ah right, thats good then i could be doing without them for another wee while
We got a cook voucher after baby was born and it was great! So helpful!
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