My mother's a complete narcissist. They adopted me in between her own biological children so I have an older brother and a younger sister. To this day I cannot work out her motivation for adopting me. I was never ever good enough. It was constantly thrown in my face that my biological parents were bad people who couldn't love me. My talents were different from theirs - my sister is very arty like my mother and my brother very mathematical like my dad. I was into music and languages and these weren't her kind of thing. However, she still paid for piano lessons for my brother and sister weekly but not for me. Every week I had to go whilst they had their lessons and wait for them to finish.
The overall environment in the house was so horribly toxic. I ran away a couple of times as a young teen then a couple of weeks after turning 17 moved into a YMCA as I just couldn't bear it anymore.
When I got together with my husband she tried several times to split us up. She'd bring up every little thing I'd done as a child in front of him, but didn't realise I'd already told him everything. When I was pregnant with my first, I actually told her when she was in hospital for a small procedure as I was so utterly terrified. She's never accepted my first born and has bullied him his entire life.
My poor old dad died a few years ago. She'd been a drinker for a while, but took it to a whole other level. After a year of watching her drink herself silly, so much that she fell out of bed and had concussion, my husband has had to go and literally pick her up off the floor on more than one occasion, and listen to her cry that she doesn't want to live, we had an almighty argument. During which she accused my little daughter of not even caring about my dad. We'd both had wine and I was really actually shouting at her, I don't know how I found the strength to do it. My husband walked in - he'd dropped me off there and the second he walked in, literally he honestly just put his head around the door and said "what's going on here then?" because he could hear us arguing from outside, she leapt from her chair and accused him of trying to punch her. She was saying awful things to him, "I know what you are, come on you w***ker, I'll have you". I managed to get her into bed and we left, but the next day we found she'd been going around telling everyone he wanted to beat her up. Even though she told my sister in law she cannot remember anything about that night, she carried on with her lie.
I have tried and tried to have a relationship with her but she will not take any accountability at all. We now haven't talked in years. I miss my dad so much, he would not have let this happen.
Sorry so much for this absolute wall of text. It felt really good to get it out.
