I completely understand and relateMy father’s behaviour has sadly left me with such issues with men.
In my heart I feel I won’t truly be free or happy until he is gone.
Every time the home ring I hope so much that they’re calling me to tell me it’s over.
What makes you think that? XI’m paranoid I think my mom is always upto something just to turn people against me so I’m left with no one.
I'm sorry you feel that way, I understand and have found that most of my family on my mum's side don't contact me. So I don't bother myself. She is wanting you to be the victim, so be strong and don't worry about it. Find your own people.I’m paranoid I think my mom is always upto something just to turn people against me so I’m left with no one.
I struggle with this too. As if it isn't hard enough having to go no contact without being judged and condemned by others.... I hope you are okay.How do you deal with other family members who criticise me for walking away from my neglectful parents? It's particularly loud around things like Easter and Christmas. I'm struggling a bit at the moment x
Feeling better but as you know there is a void that never goes away. We are survivors though. Sending you love xxI struggle with this too. As if it isn't hard enough having to go no contact without being judged and condemned by others.... I hope you are okay.
Don’t be sorry 🩷 It’s awful that you’re in this situation with your dad and if getting it out in words helps even a little bit then it’s the right thing to do. I don’t have too much advice to offer but I just wanted to say that I empathise with you. I moved out from my mum 2 years ago and she doesn’t visit. It feels absolutelyAnyway, sorry, feels a bit like a pointless moan, but yeah, I just feel like I’m missing something and can’t fathom what it is.
Same experience here, what would you think would happen if you stopped trying. I did and now get accused of not doing enough. You'll/we'll never win. XxxFirstly, hope everyone is having a nice Easter - events like this are always so tricky with family, so sending love to you all
I’ve been on here before to talk about my narc mum and had some really helpful feedback, so thanks to everyone who took the time, it’s so nice to feel less alone.
My dad isn’t a narc, but I find he is building more and more avoidance tactics when it comes to seeing me and it’s getting to the point where it’s become a bit of a running joke so just looking for a bit of advice really.
my husband and I don’t have kids and have lived where we live for over 3 years and my dad has never visited. My siblings live The same distance from my dad but in the opposite direction yet he is always visiting them. Both siblings have children so I know he’d want to see them, but it’s starting to feel like he doesn’t visit us because there’s no reason for him to come, e.g no grand children.
He has quite an overbearing wife who he is constantly on the phone to or messaging when he is at family events, I think she has major insecurity issues, so when we have been together as a group (when I’ve gone to visit siblings and dad has been there too) he’s terrible to hold a conversation with as he’s always distracted either by her calling or texting, or he just has the same bullet pointed conversation points so it just constantly feels like you’re having the same conversation with him, e.g money, buying a house, work, etc
Every time I ask him about when he’s coming to visit he seems to palm me off and give me an excuse about needing to work a lot to pay off a holiday or something, yet I then see he can find the time to visit my siblings because one of them will share a picture.
It’s gotten to the point where it’s quite upsetting that he won’t visit, and I feel a bit like a baby putting this into words, but it’s like because we don’t have kids my dad doesn’t really care about spending time with us. I can’t remember the last time I had a proper conversation with him as even when he calls me to catch up, he’s at work and constantly having conversations with other people at his work whilst on the phone to me.
My husband lost his dad so it’s even more of a big thing to want to see mine but I’m sort of getting to the point of being fed up asking him when he’s coming down.
Anyway, sorry, feels a bit like a pointless moan, but yeah, I just feel like I’m missing something and can’t fathom what it is.
Happy Easter all x
Could you possibly write to your dad and explain how you are feeling about him not wanting to visit and ask him outright why he doesn’t. Whatever the answer, at least you will know you have tried to understand his motives.Firstly, hope everyone is having a nice Easter - events like this are always so tricky with family, so sending love to you all
I’ve been on here before to talk about my narc mum and had some really helpful feedback, so thanks to everyone who took the time, it’s so nice to feel less alone.
My dad isn’t a narc, but I find he is building more and more avoidance tactics when it comes to seeing me and it’s getting to the point where it’s become a bit of a running joke so just looking for a bit of advice really.
my husband and I don’t have kids and have lived where we live for over 3 years and my dad has never visited. My siblings live The same distance from my dad but in the opposite direction yet he is always visiting them. Both siblings have children so I know he’d want to see them, but it’s starting to feel like he doesn’t visit us because there’s no reason for him to come, e.g no grand children.
He has quite an overbearing wife who he is constantly on the phone to or messaging when he is at family events, I think she has major insecurity issues, so when we have been together as a group (when I’ve gone to visit siblings and dad has been there too) he’s terrible to hold a conversation with as he’s always distracted either by her calling or texting, or he just has the same bullet pointed conversation points so it just constantly feels like you’re having the same conversation with him, e.g money, buying a house, work, etc
Every time I ask him about when he’s coming to visit he seems to palm me off and give me an excuse about needing to work a lot to pay off a holiday or something, yet I then see he can find the time to visit my siblings because one of them will share a picture.
It’s gotten to the point where it’s quite upsetting that he won’t visit, and I feel a bit like a baby putting this into words, but it’s like because we don’t have kids my dad doesn’t really care about spending time with us. I can’t remember the last time I had a proper conversation with him as even when he calls me to catch up, he’s at work and constantly having conversations with other people at his work whilst on the phone to me.
My husband lost his dad so it’s even more of a big thing to want to see mine but I’m sort of getting to the point of being fed up asking him when he’s coming down.
Anyway, sorry, feels a bit like a pointless moan, but yeah, I just feel like I’m missing something and can’t fathom what it is.
Happy Easter all x
If your auntie had been the only full time carer, then maybe you could consider it.Family members have been coming for me big time this week.
My grandma has left me some money in her will. I'm getting texts and emails from family members including narc dad saying that my gran had wanted to change the will so that my auntie receives it all, except my gran ended up with dementia and didnt have chance to change it. Apparently others have given up their share for my auntie and want me to do the same. I'm estranged from my family so not sure whether to trust what they are saying.
Any advice? My husband has messaged my dad and told him to cease contacting me about this.
Eta i wasn't estranged from my gran and she had written the will about 20 years ago.
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