yep, it’s hard. Going NC is easier said than done.
Thank you, I actually reached out a couple of months ago via email (still cross with myself for this) and he responded "I'm not interested". And yet I still feel guilty!
I haven’t kept in contact with them. I’m NC with my mum and my brother his wife and my neice. Also NC with my MIL, SIL and her kids.
Thankyou that’s really helpful and appreciate you taking the time to reply, I’ve always felt like an outcast where my brother and sister are concerned, as I’ve said previously they have met up a few times and not included me in anything, always feel so left out and like I’m just not good enough other than to look after my bothers dog and as for my niece she’s a spoilt, entitled madam, brought her gifts for Christmas and not even a thanks, I’ve also never had a good relationship with my sister who is a full on narcissist and I cannot stand her husband honestly done with them all I think your right I will feel better and lighter without them in my life not that they bring anything positive to it
Just realised this makes me sound really money grabbing. It isn't meant to.... I'm just panicking about one of them contacting me.
You should be able to buy the will from the gov website, and it should tell you who had been appointed as the solicitor and if it’s a solicitors firm handling the paperwork, that will be named on there too. You can contact the solicitors directly then, and if you were worried about just looking like you were only interested in the money you could instead ask about a particular item or keepsake of your Grans that you’re interested in. Here’s a link to search probate and then buy the will-
Thank you so much! I have just ordered a copy and if I am.a beneficiary I will contact the solicitor and let them know that there are communication issues and to contact me directly if possible. I have just discovered my gran's house for sale on rightmove. I've taken screenshots for memories. I'm gutted because I would have loved some old photos but I'll never get them now.You should be able to buy the will from the gov website, and it should tell you who had been appointed as the solicitor and if it’s a solicitors firm handling the paperwork, that will be named on there too. You can contact the solicitors directly then, and if you were worried about just looking like you were only interested in the money you could instead ask about a particular item or keepsake of your Grans that you’re interested in. Here’s a link to search probate and then buy the will-
Search probate records for documents and wills (England and Wales)
Search online for a will, grant of representation or probate document for a death in or after 1858www.gov.uk
This way might mean you have some control of the situation rather than living each day worrying that they’re going to contact you out of the blue. I’m really sorry for your loss, it’s really sad that nobody told you.
You are very welcome. Just a thought, but if you can get to her house you could book a viewing and maybe get to see it one last time? Just don’t tell them who you are, make up a fake name and after they’ve shown you round ask if you can wander round on your own before you leave? Most agents let you do that. But it might feel strange to visit it, just a suggestion if it helps you take some more photos.
Or get a friend to book and go with them
Aww thanks for the idea, I always imagined that when my gran died I'd be able to go and look through photos and take some or maybe even her old crochet patterns. From the photos I can see that the whole house has been gutted. I have no idea why these family members aren’t even talking to me. Except for the fact that I no longer talk to my toxic father and they pity him.
and has proceeded to then fill him on the family argument! I am fuming a) it’s none of my ex husbands business and b) to be fair to my ex he’s told my daughter he didn’t respond to my brother’s message regarding our fallout/argument as he didn’t want to get dragged into the mess (fair play he didn’t ask for it) but why the hell does my brother feel it’s appropriate to do that! I keep my life private from my ex as we don’t really talk (unless we have to) my brother has shown little to no respect for it, decided to go no contact with him although I have the overwhelming urge to message him to say wth are you playing at?!! I feel it would be no use messaging as he would likely ignore me 
and it wouldn’t solve anything so I sit here fuming about it instead!
but I literally hate my brother for causing me so much hurt and pain and yet I have done so much for him but not any more 
why are families so flaming difficult 
Your bro knows what he is doing, he is trying to piss you off. Don't lower yourself to his standards or fall for his tricks. Do not contact him about this. You told him not to contact you, he is throwing a childish tantrum for attention.Posted this on an other thread so apologies for repetition but thought it may be more appropriate for this one. I’m so annoyed, had a big fall out with my brother that lead up to Christmas Day hence this resulted in me not going to his, had a pretty awful Christmas due to this hanging over my head, anyway long story short he rang me on Christmas Day (to make an unjustified point) and this resulted in him upsetting me and my Daughter on Christmas Day, I sent him a message to say he has upset us and to not bother calling me again, as usual heard nothing back and no reply to my message! so basically have gone no contact with him and his wife since, my daughter has told me today that my brother has messaged her dad (my ex husband) on Christmas Day (as she wasn't with me) to ask if she was okay
Aww I'm sorry you had to deal with that at Christmas. Probably he felt he was losing control when you stopped contact so he's trying to manipulate how people (your ex) perceive you.Posted this on an other thread so apologies for repetition but thought it may be more appropriate for this one. I’m so annoyed, had a big fall out with my brother that lead up to Christmas Day hence this resulted in me not going to his, had a pretty awful Christmas due to this hanging over my head, anyway long story short he rang me on Christmas Day (to make an unjustified point) and this resulted in him upsetting me and my Daughter on Christmas Day, I sent him a message to say he has upset us and to not bother calling me again, as usual heard nothing back and no reply to my message! so basically have gone no contact with him and his wife since, my daughter has told me today that my brother has messaged her dad (my ex husband) on Christmas Day (as she wasn't with me) to ask if she was okay
Thankyou so much for the advice I am definitely not going to give him the satisfaction of contacting him even though i am extremely annoyed and upset with him, from what my daughter has told me, my ex also did not appreciate being dragged into it either my brother is a real narcissist, really appreciate you taking the time to respond to me
Thankyou totally agree with everything you have said and I will also not be contacting him either, gutted the way things have turned out but so fed up of being used and treated like crap it’s time I cut him out of my life once and for all (been a long time coming) Thankyou for taking the time to reply to me
Your brother sounds a lot like mine, toxic and you'd be better off just ignoring him. They aren't as powerful as they think they are.
I understand, it's horrible but you deserve to be treated with respect and if you've decided to go NC with your dad then stick with it. Surround yourself with people who love you xI now have one more family member who isn't speaking to me anymore because I'm NC with my dad.
I do at different times, the boy is quite steady so usually plain sailing. The girls, it chops and changes, the younger one though (almost 18) is the one which takes more effort generally.
