Another one of those faux entertainment clips is in my YouTube feed. Healthy Lifestyle channel 
has a clip entitled "Nadia Sawalha is 'very sure' she would never do Strictly after Kaye Adams." Yeah, cuz they have been asking you for years, whatever.
I'm back with hopefully this is the last instalment of their premature Vlogmas/Xmas ad review. It's a biggy cuz the John Lewis ad is out. We have Skidmark Elf pretending to sleep in a chair in the kitchen. He fake wakes up and we get an unfortunate close-up of his tired mug. Did I tell you this was a live view along? Now you know. He does the usual pantomime of being an elf asking where he is etc. "Is this Santa's brain?" Are bleeping kidding me right now? "People are talking!" Says the demented elf. I'm having Romper Room flashbacks now. Douchebag says hello to the chatters. Mark tells us Nadia is getting wasted in Margaritaville AKA Stratford-Upon-Avon for whatseverface's performance in "A Christmas Carol." Mark says everyone is chatting about the Lewis ad because of its subject matter. It's a Christmas ad, why does it have to be an issue? Just try and sell me tit that won't cost an 
or a 
. This won't be the last Xmas ad review; that will be on Sunday with Dina and Nads. I marking the calendar as I type. Mark can't remember the carrot from Aldi's name. "Is it Colin? Chris?" KEVIN! I don't live in the UK or have an Aldi's and I know this tit. Colin is the M&S caterpillar cake. Yeah, so with the technology, Mark thought we should watch it together i.e. the girls must be out and he is at a loose end. He drinks his Pepsi Max once, twice, thrice, FOUR TIMES.
He starts with a dissertation on John Lewis ads of the past. Spaceship, alien, dragon, a trampoline. Mark, as usual, has been underwhelmed by John Lewis ads, because he is well-known critic of the advertising world, as he has written for publications on the subject, right? No, he just rants on YouTube to his loyal band of sycophants. Speaking of sycophants, went to look and yes Ashley is there. Mark talking analogies of it being "a difficult bridge to build, river to cross" doing an ad for Xmas in the middle of a cost of living crisis. I don't know about the rest of you, but this weird weather we are having, I haven't had the heat on once. It's 25 degrees in my home right now. Mark tells us inflation has gone down in America, so that is a good sign. Big whoop. "Shall we do it? Shall we press play? Should I just ..." He stop himself from swearing, but YES, MARK STFU! "Mustn't swear cuz it's bleeping awful." and he plays shocked that the F word left his lips.
Okay man puts on a helmet and tries out a skateboard. He face plants and goes back into the house. Wife tells someone on the phone they are really excited. Man parks his arse on the settee with a bag of peas on his knee. More practicing the skateboard, more injuries. The song playing is a cover of Blink-182's "All the Small Things." More shots of man trying to flip the board, skating after hours. Couple cuts veggies and the doorbell goes. There is a woman with a girl clutching a skateboard. Why is it that all social workers tend to be portrayed on TV by bigger women? Is that what casting directors see bigger women as? They are big=nuturing/caring. The girl sees the skateboard and the man is wearing a wrist bandage and says he skates a bit too. They invite her inside. On comes writing that says "Over 108,000 children in the UK are in the care system." Oh that's cheery. Stop bitching about the cost of our goods, because there are kids in care. Delightful. The ad goes on to say they are contributing to support kids in care. WTF? Is this an ad or a PFI? What a load of crap. Oooh we are responsible corporate citizens, look, we are helping out kids in care. Are they a good employer? I'm so jaded. That's my opinion, let's see what the dozy elf and his fans think.
After much sighing and looking like he was about to hurl, Mark takes off his glasses as says "That's quite emotional. I wasn't expecting it to be so emotional." Faith Goodman said that people who were in care, say the girl's half awkward smile was accurate; going to a new home. Mark was listening to the radio and they were saying that between ages 12 and 20 had been on average in 20 foster homes.
That is not good for a child's development. "And in prison 6 years." 
The person on the radio said it was nothing like foster care, the cosiness of it. Eww, Mark's right pinky has a long nail. Is that his coke nail? 
"I think tonally they have pitched it correctly for this time of year... I'm not entirely sure why in the countless, sort of different great causes that there are, they have honed in on this one. That's not to say it's not, not absolutely worthy I think it's great that they have. Umm, it's emotional, it's moving, it's thought provoking..." What a load. Mark thought the dad practicing skateboarding was sweet and the stunt falls "were incredibly convincing." Mark wants to know who did the music. The song is done by a 6 foot 8 clown named Puddle Pity Party aka Mike Geier. Someone says they ruined a decent song. Mark said Blink one, eight, two, like a dad trying to sound hip.
He puts it on again. He says it was better on a second watch, but it's a no from me dawg. He goes on to say how we are told and made to think that Christmas is exciting. Let's see. No, it was always a religious holiday that was hijacked by capitialist interests to make money off of. It's a time to give, because in giving we receive feeling and a sense of good. It's why people volunteer, or like me I keep finding people's lost wallets/ purses, groceries and get them to their rightful owners, it feels good to make others happy. Enough of me. Back to Mark, he says for a lot of people Christmas is "not exciting." You would never know he was an English major by the way he speaks. He rattles off a litany of crappy things that happen to people during a year. He then questions why foster care? Umm..because it deals with children and Christmas is a child's holiday. We are celebrating the birth of baby Jesus, duh. "The dad carries that desire to give, giving isn't just about presents is it? Giving is about giving a home, and giving (he is gesticulating with his fist here) a child a CONNECTION!" He got there in the end.
Mark asks the crowd if John Lewis has nailed it. Most of the crowd say yes. Jackie Volino says "It's okay ish." Mark says in the Xmas AD church blasphemer! "You've got Colin the carrot, no Kevin the carrot doing his tit, you've got Paddington who's sold out to Barbour jackets (he's Paddington, he doesn't have street cred) and then you've got this. So they all sit together don't they? They sit together." 
If Mark was my prof, I'd want a transfer. Faith asks Mark if he can skateboard. He says when he was a child (was? He still is.) he had a nice one, but only would lie on it and roll down roads. So he can't skateboard then. "Apparently my father was a fabulous skateboarder." 
Steph Shultz says Nads and Mark should make a Xmas ad and Mark says that is a good idea. It would never get done, unless it involves Nadia stripping off and molesting a piece of fruitcake. "It would be a bit rude though and a lot of farty sounds." Wendy says nice advert but not Christmassy. Mark thinks Nads will like the ad. Mark says he is going to go now and eat. Yes, eating his feelings because his substitute mother went on a jolly with her friends and little Marky is on his own. GFH tomorrow. Greeeaaaat.
has a clip entitled "Nadia Sawalha is 'very sure' she would never do Strictly after Kaye Adams." Yeah, cuz they have been asking you for years, whatever. I'm back with hopefully this is the last instalment of their premature Vlogmas/Xmas ad review. It's a biggy cuz the John Lewis ad is out. We have Skidmark Elf pretending to sleep in a chair in the kitchen. He fake wakes up and we get an unfortunate close-up of his tired mug. Did I tell you this was a live view along? Now you know. He does the usual pantomime of being an elf asking where he is etc. "Is this Santa's brain?" Are bleeping kidding me right now? "People are talking!" Says the demented elf.
I'm having Romper Room flashbacks now. Douchebag says hello to the chatters. Mark tells us Nadia is getting wasted in Margaritaville AKA Stratford-Upon-Avon for whatseverface's performance in "A Christmas Carol." Mark says everyone is chatting about the Lewis ad because of its subject matter. It's a Christmas ad, why does it have to be an issue? Just try and sell me tit that won't cost an or a . This won't be the last Xmas ad review; that will be on Sunday with Dina and Nads. I marking the calendar as I type. Mark can't remember the carrot from Aldi's name. "Is it Colin? Chris?" KEVIN! I don't live in the UK or have an Aldi's and I know this tit. Colin is the M&S caterpillar cake. Yeah, so with the technology, Mark thought we should watch it together i.e. the girls must be out and he is at a loose end. He drinks his Pepsi Max once, twice, thrice, FOUR TIMES. He starts with a dissertation on John Lewis ads of the past. Spaceship, alien, dragon, a trampoline. Mark, as usual, has been underwhelmed by John Lewis ads, because he is well-known critic of the advertising world, as he has written for publications on the subject, right? No, he just rants on YouTube to his loyal band of sycophants. Speaking of sycophants, went to look and yes Ashley is there. Mark talking analogies of it being "a difficult bridge to build, river to cross" doing an ad for Xmas in the middle of a cost of living crisis. I don't know about the rest of you, but this weird weather we are having, I haven't had the heat on once. It's 25 degrees in my home right now. Mark tells us inflation has gone down in America, so that is a good sign. Big whoop. "Shall we do it? Shall we press play? Should I just ..." He stop himself from swearing, but YES, MARK STFU! "Mustn't swear cuz it's bleeping awful." and he plays shocked that the F word left his lips.
Okay man puts on a helmet and tries out a skateboard. He face plants and goes back into the house. Wife tells someone on the phone they are really excited. Man parks his arse on the settee with a bag of peas on his knee. More practicing the skateboard, more injuries. The song playing is a cover of Blink-182's "All the Small Things." More shots of man trying to flip the board, skating after hours. Couple cuts veggies and the doorbell goes. There is a woman with a girl clutching a skateboard. Why is it that all social workers tend to be portrayed on TV by bigger women? Is that what casting directors see bigger women as? They are big=nuturing/caring. The girl sees the skateboard and the man is wearing a wrist bandage and says he skates a bit too. They invite her inside. On comes writing that says "Over 108,000 children in the UK are in the care system." Oh that's cheery. Stop bitching about the cost of our goods, because there are kids in care. Delightful.
The ad goes on to say they are contributing to support kids in care. WTF? Is this an ad or a PFI? What a load of crap. Oooh we are responsible corporate citizens, look, we are helping out kids in care. Are they a good employer? I'm so jaded. That's my opinion, let's see what the dozy elf and his fans think. After much sighing and looking like he was about to hurl, Mark takes off his glasses as says "That's quite emotional. I wasn't expecting it to be so emotional." Faith Goodman said that people who were in care, say the girl's half awkward smile was accurate; going to a new home. Mark was listening to the radio and they were saying that between ages 12 and 20 had been on average in 20 foster homes.
That is not good for a child's development. "And in prison 6 years." The person on the radio said it was nothing like foster care, the cosiness of it. Eww, Mark's right pinky has a long nail. Is that his coke nail? "I think tonally they have pitched it correctly for this time of year... I'm not entirely sure why in the countless, sort of different great causes that there are, they have honed in on this one. That's not to say it's not, not absolutely worthy I think it's great that they have. Umm, it's emotional, it's moving, it's thought provoking..." What a load. Mark thought the dad practicing skateboarding was sweet and the stunt falls "were incredibly convincing." Mark wants to know who did the music. The song is done by a 6 foot 8 clown named Puddle Pity Party aka Mike Geier. Someone says they ruined a decent song. Mark said Blink one, eight, two, like a dad trying to sound hip. He puts it on again. He says it was better on a second watch, but it's a no from me dawg. He goes on to say how we are told and made to think that Christmas is exciting. Let's see. No, it was always a religious holiday that was hijacked by capitialist interests to make money off of. It's a time to give, because in giving we receive feeling and a sense of good. It's why people volunteer, or like me I keep finding people's lost wallets/ purses, groceries and get them to their rightful owners, it feels good to make others happy. Enough of me. Back to Mark, he says for a lot of people Christmas is "not exciting." You would never know he was an English major by the way he speaks.
He rattles off a litany of crappy things that happen to people during a year. He then questions why foster care? Umm..because it deals with children and Christmas is a child's holiday. We are celebrating the birth of baby Jesus, duh. "The dad carries that desire to give, giving isn't just about presents is it? Giving is about giving a home, and giving (he is gesticulating with his fist here) a child a CONNECTION!" He got there in the end. Mark asks the crowd if John Lewis has nailed it. Most of the crowd say yes. Jackie Volino says "It's okay ish."
Mark says in the Xmas AD church blasphemer! "You've got Colin the carrot, no Kevin the carrot doing his tit, you've got Paddington who's sold out to Barbour jackets (he's Paddington, he doesn't have street cred) and then you've got this. So they all sit together don't they? They sit together." If Mark was my prof, I'd want a transfer. Faith asks Mark if he can skateboard. He says when he was a child (was? He still is.) he had a nice one, but only would lie on it and roll down roads. So he can't skateboard then. "Apparently my father was a fabulous skateboarder." Steph Shultz says Nads and Mark should make a Xmas ad and Mark says that is a good idea. It would never get done, unless it involves Nadia stripping off and molesting a piece of fruitcake. "It would be a bit rude though and a lot of farty sounds." Wendy says nice advert but not Christmassy. Mark thinks Nads will like the ad. Mark says he is going to go now and eat. Yes, eating his feelings because his substitute mother went on a jolly with her friends and little Marky is on his own. GFH tomorrow. Greeeaaaat.
