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Nellinton

VIP Member
I’ve just re watched her screeching from last nights shitfaced sesh in marbs. I have never seen such a disgrace as this woman is but I’m surprised that Kaye and Jane joined in. I’ll be honest, I don’t like Kaye anymore but I do like Jane and I expected more.
Where is this? On insta?
 
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FirmAndFair

Active member
i don't think Julia should feel any obligation for changing nadia, or getting to a place of being civil with her, just because Nadia's pathology will always creep back in. It's that old parable of being stung by a scorpion, and it telling the person it stung it was in its nature. As long as Julia gets to spend loving time with her parents, that's enough, and the elder nieces and nephews can make their own choices as to whether to be in contact with her. I'm sure she has a wide circle of friends. The loss of nadia of the telly in her life is no loss to anyone imo. if you're financially independent, sorted, have a great social circle, you have the ability as well as every right to decide who you want to exclude and include in your life, and feel no guilt for doing so.
I agree - neither party is going to change the other, and becoming civil has to come from both people. They share responsibility. I do strongly feel like if they could find a way of just being civil, they'd be much happier and the family would be much happier too.

I can't say I look at either side and say that it looks healthy, and can't imagine living a family life like that - particularly in how that must impact others.
 
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FirmAndFair

Active member
mediators will not achieve anything with someone who is fundementally pathological
If one person has a core belief that the other person is fundamentally unworkable, then sure. I do think that reflects more poorly on the person holding that belief though.

Who can actually know how another person will be in a specific situation without actually just seeing what happens - especially if it's to find a solution?

The problem with perceptions and beliefs is they inform unhealthy behaviour. Unless you allow yourself to experience the thing you're avoiding, you won't actually know if it'd pan out the way you think it may.

Worst case scenario, it ends with both parties where they were - so nothing lost beyond some short-term discomfort. A better scenario would be things just being more comfortable for all.

I wonder if that's the whole truth, or just a perception which may have some scope to be moulded.
 
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Hmmm?

Chatty Member
It's very disappointing that Kate & Jane are also getting involved in the passive aggressive behaviour. They should stay out of it, they will never know both sides of the story. Very childish once again.
Have they said something?
 
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