Coffee Moaning for Friday. Do you ever get that feeling that your face is sore and it feels cold/fluey, but comes to nothing? That is me today.
Topic today are "Nazanin FRUSTRATION, Menopausal Tragedy, MANLY Food, The Pandemic SHE-Cession".
Nadia bitching about her magnetic eyelashes and fluffy her hair. One of her eyelashes is wonky now. "If you could smell this kitchen
(no ta) oh my God! I just made Italian ricotta doughnuts and they were DIVINE, but Mark and I have struck stuckstuck sttusttaww religiously to our 16/8 and we ran like maniacs next door to the builders and gave them a doughnut." Nads goes on to say it was a shame they couldn't give the chatters the doughnuts and proceeds to show said doughnuts.
"Look at that! Nutella and icing sugar."
They look like something the dogs shat out. Mark says if you want to know how to make them, check out that show they do on Sunday. They have a new ring light.
They look like they have tans. Roll call. #FRIDAY, #
duck FRIDAY, #FRIDAY FUN, HI GUYS. Mark tells her she is having Friday Fun, as she is off with Jane, Kaye and Judy on a girls trip. He also says she deserves it.
Yeah, it's rough lazying around some days, getting your arse carted off to the studio once in a blue moon, followed by trips to Cornwall, Brighton or a downtown hotel. Life is really rough for Nadia. And before anyone says it no! I am not jealous, jealous of what? Her skanky house and equally skanky husband? Jane is picking her up at the station, then the studio and then stop on the way for something to eat. Nads was going to take some gin & tonic tinnies for her, Kaye and Judy, but thought it wasn't fair on Jane. Off to the pub for dinner.
Nadia mentions she hasn't seen Judi in ages, saw her yesterday and goes on about how wonderful she is, how she makes her laugh, etc., etc. She just wants to hangout with her, her new bezzie mate.
Flaming Mark whispers they are going dogging.
More like he will. 
Nadia says she will do some Insta stories. A chatter says their 15yo kicked off this week and the police had to be called. Cue the "Oh Sweethearrrrrrrrrtt." Nadia and her friends chatting about how crap teens are out of the pandemic and thinks if we increased children's exercise levels it would be helped.
This is old news: better eating habits, cut down the internet, get exercise, everyone has to do it. Nadia says private schools give that to kids not state schools.
Yeah Nadia, it's called budget cuts. The first thing to go is Phys.Ed then Arts and it has been like that since the 1980s, keep up. This topic relates to the latest podcast and Nadia didn't realize the connection with hormones. "A teenager needs 1 hour of exercise a day. Put your hand up if your teenager gets exercise 1 hour a day."
Well, maybe not ferrying the to and from everywhere in a car would help. Nadia tells us the imbalance in the hormones will cause mental issues. The girls have finally decided to get some exercise and Mark says, in all seriousness, they actually got spreadsheets.
Nadia says they failed for years nagging them to get exercise and only just now are they doing it. Mark says listen to the podcast today about how they failed as parents. #FUN FRIDAY, #FUUUN.
Oh they finally tell us what the topic of COAMP podcast is if they are too soft on our children. Plug for Young Minds UK- "I really want to do some serious fundraising for them you know."
Open your wallet then. Mark says the organizers of the course he is on are being asked by health authorities for people. "Would you pay to do a quiz, if the money goes to Young Minds?" asks Nadia.
Didn't they do this for the missing kids charity already? What happened to that? "No amount is too small as people are strapped" says Mark. Mark likens his course as being amongst "mental soldiers."
Someone mentions the flourish menopause test and Nadia says it looks dubious, go to the menopause website. Mark shows us the cover of the Mirror, where Boris was in hospital and asked 3x to put a mask on. "I hate him, I hate him and I think they break the rules all the time.."says Nadia and calls them Tory Tossers.
She then plays devil's advocate in that was in an area where they needed to talk and thus a mask was impeding that. Mark says he was in a hospital, duh. Goes on to say if you are the PM in a hospital you need to lead by example so "
duck that
tit."
Just in case you are wanted to be sure of Nadia's feelings on the PM "I hate him."
More newspaper stuff-care homes have stopped accepting people as staff quit. Kaye said she wouldn't want an unvaccinated carer treating her parents and Nadia said she would if they are fully PPE'd and tested every day. Talk about the Help telefilm and how those carers will be gone.
I dunno, here mandates have nudged those dithering and minority don't. Nadia reminds us that Judi was a social worker and ran a care home. She told Nads that there are good workers with deep relationships with those they care for and have nobody else and they are being taken away. Sophie mentions YouTube taking away the
button numbers.
Flamin' YouTube. Nadia asks why and Mark says to deal with the trolls. Mark:"It's the start of a little march towards that territory." He makes that smarmy face of his. What is manly food? Mark says steak and kidney pie. Men apparently choose steak to look manly.
Yes and women order salad only to pick off the man's plate and scarf down their desert, tell me something I don't know. Deerheart goes all sweeping generalizationi and says steak=cancer. Nadia:"Of course, we know it isn't healthy eating red meat." "I love a pie. Pasty is my favourite thing." Mark says for men food is functional and I guess women do it for artiface? Jeez Louise. Nadia says that Jane Moore can look at a menu and straight away orders what she wants. Mark says the more she talks about Jane, the more he fancies her.
Belerus threatens to cut off Europe's gas over border crisis. Truth or dare game murder. Some shithead confessed to killing his gran during a gaming session. "It's not a Squid Game copycat is it?" asks Nadia.
#FRIDAY FUN. Balloon rider secure to a garden chair on top of a balloon and all I have to say is, some people have too much time on their hands. Did you Mark did a shoot on a balloon and his colleague dropped his camera several thousands of feet to earth and the tape was still useable? Now you do. Some artist who takes leaves and makes silhouette thingies out of them. "Oh Mark he has rings like you!" and that is where the similarities end. "Ground Theft Auto" is the headline. Man caught on camera rolling up and stealing a family's artificial lawn. Nadia:"Oh for
duck's sake."
It's a topic that is near and dear to Nadia's heart amongst a myriad of other things that swimming in that nut of her's. The husband of Nazanin British-Iranian woman stuck in prison, "It makes me cry again sorry" is in his 19th day of a hunger strike. Jeremy Hunt says the UK owes Iran 400 million pounds
So this goes back to the 80s when the Shah ordered tanks from Britain and they never delivered. There are 2 other women in jail who have been told they won't go back until Iran gets their money.
Okay, my mind has just gone to The Family Guy, where Stewie (Iran) is beating up Brian (Britain) demanding his money "Where's my money man?" 
Nadia hopes that with Hunt saying this it will make a move for her and people don't know that Britain owes Iran 400 million. Pandemic She-cession now and that is women working from home will be worse off than men, i.e. childcare. Menopause tragedy a man whose wife took her life after struggling with symptoms and the pandemic. Nads says a menopause expert she knows said she had 9 women suicidal and 1 killed herself.
The expert met with the board of psychiatry and asked if they ever prescribed HRT.
Why would they? They would figure that is Gynecology stuff. Chatter says why are so many modern feminists so politically useless, we should be out causing chaos on the streets.
Busy on twitter cancelling people I suspect. Nadia says she wants to out causing chaos, but lady you do that in your own home. The world doesn't want nor need your brand of chaos.
Less than 1/4 of families sit down for a screen-free dinner. Got a nice shot of Nadia's tonsils as she yawned without covering her mouth.
Natural glitter has been created. Lazarus jab allowing paralysed mice to walk. It signals nerves to regrow and have done it with human cells in petri dishes. Nadia screaming about it being small and at the bottom of the page in the Daily Fail. Mark says it's bigger in the Guardian. "We love the Guardian, hate the Mail."
Calm down, they all suck to varying degrees. 
Nadia is trying to cry as she says it can help stroke victims make a full recovery and other ailments like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and motor neuron disease.
Happy birthday to Reem. #FUN FRIDAY. PLEASE HIT THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON AND THE NOTIFICATION BELL, HIT THE LIKE BUTTON "I actually feel I invented that myself, that Lazaurus jab!"
Michelle suggests Nadia do a YouTube short on happy medical news. Nadia wants you all to tell people about that Lazarus jab and that Britain owes Iran 400 million
bleeping quid. Mark is holding the
doss house fort this weekend. STAY SANE, STAY SAFE AND I AM ABOUT TO DO A RANT ABOUT MENOPAUSE.
#ATTENTION SEEKING #FAME
bleep. Have a lovely Friday people!
"Which 70s/80s comedian said 'ooh I do like you, but not a lot'?" Mojito says YouTube has held back her answer Dick Emery. Mark has had 5 hours each night this week. It's ooh I do like you, but you're awful, says Robert. If you are expecting accuracy from Mark, don't bother. He says he is drinking a lot of water and coffee, taking his drugs, blowing his nose, Mark asks if we have seen the doc Weiner, as he shows a his ex on the cover of the Satuday Times Magazine. Mark thinks you gravitate to your name because Weiner had a problem with getting his dick out for randoms. So I guess if we go by that theory with his name Adderley, he is addled with stupidity, perviness and vulgarity.
"Why is double expresso so strangely horrible but lovely?"
.
) recipes for you to make (after a couple of rozaaays naturally) for your 'subs' following you on your 16/8 fasting. 
