Needy McNeedyface
What an utter
tit show his Instasham has been for Father’s Day!!!
Decent Mark: posts a quiet, heartfelt tribute to his Grandad (who he called Dad) or BETTER yet to his Mum who had to be a Mum AND Dad to him.
Actual Mark: posts FIVE tributes to HIMSELF.
1. Issy, the favourite
![Smirking face :smirk: 😏](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f60f.png)
Superficial (and endless) list of attributes. He prefers spending time with her to all the others (nice).
2. Fleur, does she even consider herself his daughter?
![Thinking face :thinking: 🤔](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f914.png)
Only thing he mentions about her is her bravery as a toddler but makes it clear she wasn’t braver than Issy (of course).
3. Maddie, the heart breaker and maker (whatever that means)
![Face with raised eyebrow :face_with_raised_eyebrow: 🤨](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f928.png)
Her arrival almost made his heart burst (was Fleur an ugly baby do you reckon?). She’s kind and fair but that seems to be all that’s worth mentioning. 99% of post is about him giving up drink because of her (nice).
4. Kiki, last and seemingly least 🥲 A post quite a bit shorter even than Fleur’s. A few attributes listed, far fewer than for Issy. Calm? Isn’t this the kid with anxiety issues? And he must have realised he forgot to chuck the word creative in for the others so uses Kiki’s post to say how creative all his daughters are (she must feel so special).
5. Nadia, grand finale reserved for the wife for FATHER’S DAY
![Woozy face :woozy_face: 🥴](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f974.png)
Look everyone I have a famous wife who gave me so much of herself. I must be so great! She helped me be the amazing Dad I am by healing me from the evil done to me by the mothers of my eldest daughters. She rebuilt me so that I could literally be the man of MY dreams (
tit, just try to forget I pretended to have the biggest mental breakdown of my life a few days ago).
And a bonus post about his fifth daughter Toffee. He actually manages to make this a meaningful post and not all about him!
![Rolling on the floor laughing :rofl: 🤣](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f923.png)
Genuinely describes HER. Refreshing.
What a knob.