I hear that, and all of your constructive comments. I just felt she was responsible in holding him back by always insisting he was available for her. In doing so, over the years someone's character, personality, talents, confidence can be very slowly beaten down, until they become as bad as their perpetrator. There is a cycle of perpetrator & victim between the two.
He made a really good series called A Taste of my Life with Nigel Slater, admittedly a long time ago, however it was a good platform for him, from which many other things independent of her could have followed. I believe she put that firework out, because she wouldn't have been allowed to all the other firework parties. (sorry, bad analogy)