Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[Sunlifeover50]

I see someone has had the audacity to ask if anyone actually likes Tattle “favourite” Lorraine Kelly over there and they’re all falling over themselves saying how nasty and hateful the OP is. This from the same nest of vipers that pile on and bully other MNetterrs for the most trivial reason and be thoroughly hateful to each other.

That’s what does my head in about MN.

OP- does anyone else find Amanda Holden annoying?

You sound nasty and spiteful

OP- I’m struggling being a single working mother, the bills just aren’t adding up and my retired parents won’t have my kids while I go to a doctors appointment.

Well maybe you should have thought about that before you had kids. You can’t expect the grandparents to help. You just sound hard work.

Yeah lovely they are.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

See! So next time the vicar knocks on someone’s door and they’re eating toast it won’t even register

They'll probably feel cheated.
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A mumsnetter has been baking…

Who, in the name of all that's holy, puts fecking KALE into a cake?

It's not Jack Monroe, is it?

 

[50degreesnorth]

A friend is a copper and her clientele will open the door in any state. She said once you’ve seen one fanny hanging out the bottom of a crop-top (only item of clothing worn), you’ve seen them all. I think she’d have been delighted to be greeted by someone wearing pyjamas.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Im paying for private health insurance so does that mean I can stay fat? Im not costing the Irish goverment anything by not being size French.

The Irish govt should be grateful to you.

It means that they can use benefits to help someone else's weight creep insidiously into "fat bastard" category.

I am not size French either - but I am size Japan (Sumo). I have to work at it, though. A moment's thoughtlessness with a tomato salad sets me back weeks.

 

[soph30]

Why does it matter that you take them to a Royal Park? Can’t you just say a park

 

[50degreesnorth]

I’m cooking dinner for around 30 a night because it’s lambing and everyone else has got a kitchen full of bottle-fed lambs and I think some people smoke. After sobbing and shaking for a day or two, I realised the only sensible thing to do was to cook for everyone in a 10 mile radius so they don’t have to use their own kitchens.

I also spent some time weeping for the bottle-fed lambs. Don’t their mothers know breast is best? Why did they even bother having them if they were going to just going to rely on the bottle?

 

[50degreesnorth]

I was just wondering how your applications were going.
Have you thought about a hedge fund manager. Bet that's deffo 6 figures.

Definitely as a side hustle! I found a couple of quid down the back of the sofa, ironed a couple of shirts and now have £10 mil to play with.

 

[Sunlifeover50]

Ffs they’re still going on about the delivery driver being unreasonable. People keep saying they should’ve rang before… he was outside her fucking house delivering to a house opposite. I mean I know how dare he actually knock on her door but if it was all that bad why didn’t she just say “I’m really sorry I don’t feel physically able to deal with this now”. All the poor guy did was see an opportunity to maybe finish a bit early- they’re painting him as some Devil wears Ocado. I’m sure if she’d said no he’d have come back.

Man asks if he can deliver early as he’s in the area, woman says yes… only mumsnet could turn this into a dressing gown/ breakfasting/ porch door epic bore.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

There’s a short diversion from being angry that anyone who is fat, old, disabled or a stay at home mum exists, while we hate women who have hair -

I've been to a few gym sessions with a friend I met fairly recently, she normally wears a t-shirt and leggings.
Yesterday we went and with it being a bit warmer recently she wore a vest and 3/4 length leggings.
I noticed that she does not shave at all; her armpits were full of thick, long hair, legs too.

I know this sounds horrible but the armpit hair made me feel a little unwell. We were supposed to go to eat just afterwards and I almost lost my appetite seeing the vest with her armpit hair out.

This makes me sound like a horrible person, I'm aware. I'd never dream of saying anything, it's nothing to do with me and she is a good person. I guess we're not used to seeing women with full body hair; we're socially conditioned to be very hair-free.

I guess I'll just have to get over it if I want to keep attending the gym with her.

Gawd!

I have hair almost everywhere from eyebrows like Dennis Healey to feet like a hobbit and all points in between.

The bonus is that if I put people off their dinner I can ask "Do you not want that?" and shovel it onto my own plate.

Every cloud etc.

 

[orangehead]

I got distracted but came on to share this pearl of wisdom. On an interesting thread about whether Richard III was guilty,

Who is Richard III? *head tilt* I’m not really interested in celebrity gossip so I haven’t heard of him, don’t you people know there’s a war? *head tilt*

 

[camotea]

Yes, a cake.

 

[Serene Serena]

They are on the beg again
View attachment 2920693
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I don't think this will help the case of wanting randomers to give them codes
View attachment 2920704

Has anyone told them we’ve been strongly advised NOT to hand out codes to Mumsnetters? They’ll have to be satisfied with looking through the window and sighing unhappily.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

There is a thread in chat called 'I need help with my weight' where OP describes her life and it is so clear she has an eating disorder. She weighs herself daily, skips meals if she eats a cake and says she feels and looks enormous now that she's 9st3. I thought people would be supportive and try to gently give her some help and advice but then you've got replies like this normalising it even more

I’m like this. I weigh myself everyday and if I’ve put a pound on I try to adjust what I eat. I’m currently 8 stone but I’m short. The way I see it, it’s much better to be slim than overweight (I exercise too) so my monitoring of it is fine. I’m not dangerously underweight and it keeps me on the straight and narrow.

I'm probably taller (5 ft 7) but was 9 stone 2 the day I got married at 22, and 34 years later was recently horrified to discover I am now 9 stone 5....and it feels wrong and upsets me, and yes I weigh myself nearly every day.

 

[50degreesnorth]

First response.

 

[vunderland]

I think it's incredibly sad that so much blame gets put on the mum (who the kids usually end up staying with), actually. From the perspective of someone who was the child in the middle, my mum acted like the bad guy all the time FOR me - I didn't want a step mum, I didn't want a new family, I was happy with my MY mum alone and when I didn't want to go, my mum took the fall and pretended she was the problem, even when my father and his wife were harassing her constantly. Idk, it's a multifaceted issue and all the adults in the situation are almost always more concerned with themselves and their own pride or parental ability than concern over the actual kids. I will forever be thankful to my mum for not forcing me to go and play happy families when it was making me miserable, even if it was to her detriment because I was too young/shy to express to my father and his wife myself that I hated seeing them and being in their home.

Obviously, every situation is different so I can only speak from my experience as being that child, but it's worth considering the kids are saying different things to different parents depending on the closeness of the relationship, and it isn't all evil parents being evil for the sake of evil.

 

[Millie2023]

A poster’s 16yo has been denied leave from their 8 hour contract weekly job to go on holiday.
One MNetter has replied to warn them that if they quit, as others have advised, this would leave a gap in their CV

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

The worst thing I've ever eaten was at a friend's house. She wasn't known for being a good cook, but surpassed herself that night with "Chicken Divan": bits of chicken mixed with condensed cream of chicken soup, mayonnaise, curry powder and water chestnuts! As if that wasn't bad enough, the recipe said to mix cornflakes with melted butter to make a delicious crunchy topping...
She didn't have cornflakes and butter in so she topped it with marge and bloody Bran Flakes!
She really hated me, didn't she?

(Sorry! Should have explained this was promoted by the mentioning of All Bran. It's not just a sudden cry for help or something. Mayber the MNers would appreciate the recipe. Being faced with that would certainly help you stay teeny-tiny)

Back in the 90s, when it was all about exciting vinegars, a friend went to a dinner party at which the host was making a salad that was meant to be dressed with raspberry vinegar. She’d had none so had substituted it with raspberry yoghurt.

 

[bread-pitt]

You also forgot hotel breakfasts that cost 31 euros, see current thread on Chat. Poster is beside herself that a 5-star hotel is charging 31 euros for breakfast. If I were not banned I’d post on there that I am full for the whole week just from looking at a menu, and it’s free to look, and does she really need food every morning, with a tilt of my tête.

 

[Serene Serena]

My DH has an outing niche hobby think kite surfing that means he goes away for competitions and stuff, and DS goes too - and I LOVE it. Just me, pottering around, doing sweet FA, eating pot noodle sandwiches and watching shite horror films on Amazon Prime and ordering random stuff from Temu.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Another food thread where someone is arguing that an apple and 50g of hummus is (in her very own words) a nutrituous meal that sees her through 20k steps and a pilates class
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Haven’t caught up with this thread so sorry if I’m derailing an ongoing chat but saw this on Facebook and thought one of you non banned MN members could try and get it into S&B somehow. I was thinking - perfect for a weekend at Centre Parcs to allow easy access for the bum fun View attachment 2925178

Someone did this on a centre parcs thread