Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[orangehead]

I get really annoyed (irrationally) I want a 9 inch Subway, not 6 not 12 NINE!!

Six inches (of subway, for all you filthy cows who have sex and think of penises instead of washing your bedding multiple times a day) is perfect though, because you have an inch a day and then fast on Sundays.

 

[bread-pitt]

Unfortunate typo of the week

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

Sorry if already posted but this amused me. It's pure Catherine Tate.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

Boots says replace your pants every year. I have pants older than my marriage.

 

[Banoffeebabe]

I worked with someone whose initials were D R. He was at the boarding gate at the airport when the attendant said to him that it’s always reassuring to know there is a doctor on board. He explained he wasn’t a doctor but spent the flight petrified there would be a medical emergency.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

A chai latte won’t mix well with the gooseberry and cinnamon yogurt …

Well yes, but personally for my children, Chlamydia and Anthrax, they positively insist on a chai latte with their hummus and crudités platter

 

[girlinbrum]

"We've lost sight of a decent Bratwurst" for next thread title

 

[ScotLass81]

Would rather die than be a massive fatty

 

[50degreesnorth]

How is this woman not bed-bound at an astonishingly huge size 16?

 

[Serene Serena]

Agreed! Surely you can just decide yourself most people I know wait until the ‘safe’ time, a few people have told everyone before that because they felt if something happened they would like the support of their family and friends, some people waited until they were showing before telling anyone.

I’m not telling anyone I’m pregnant. I’m just letting them assume I’m getting really fat and no one will have the balls to ask me if I’m pregnant in case I’m not

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

My own father was a stepfather before having us and when I acquired my own stepkids he immediately badged himself as an extra grandad. I cannot understand grandparents who reject stepkids. It’s shitty behaviour.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

It never ceases to amaze me how many of them thinking excluding step children from family events etc is acceptable. They are such a bunch of mean spirited, spiteful witches they really are.

 

[Geetbo]

I add a soupcon of bouquet garni to mine, it adds flavour and depth and richness and absolutely ZERO calories. Yummy!!!

I find adding flavour to meals very common.

 

[JerricaBenton]

All you big-norked women, just be grateful you still have such hefty bosoms! I lost mine in a fire!

(actually lost them to cancer 2 years ago but I was a HH before that and do NOT miss those!!)

 

[LilyPond]

On a post about shopping peeves . Poor love , a wee teeny tiny pixie whose size doesn’t even register on the clothing scale .
We’ve lost sight of what a normal size 10 looks like .
Actually a few on there about “vanity sizing “ and how tiny they are !

I've lost 7.5 stone and am now a size 12 and posts like that make me feel like I'm still huge and would have had to wear a marquee in the days before so called "vanity sizing" teeny tiny little cunts...

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

Okay, which one of you is this?

I'm starting to think MN is one third genuine users, one third angry, impotent MRAs and one third piss taking Tattlers.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

From one of the most sanctimonious teeny tinies they've got, on the "MN sayings that bug you" thread...

 

[Brandshinynew]

I'm enjoying perfume on a plane, it's nothing like snakes on a plane but we've got people vomiting profusely and people needing steroids after walking past a reed diffuser.
5/10 score on rotten tomatoes for this one.

 

[Sunlifeover50]

Can I wear this dress as a white woman? I don’t know, do you identify as a sofa?

View attachment 2937377

Where the hell is that picture taken- it looks like a car park

 

[sistersofpercy]

The sun is shining, I had a nurse check up this morning and have lost 5kg since January.
I’m celebrating with a fucking huge run and Coke and a Cadbury’s chocolate trifle #fatcow #notfrench