Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[50degreesnorth]

AIBU to give my daughter lifelong self-esteem issues and an eating disorder?

She’s got a lovely, but challenging figure so we want to enhance the sexy bits and disguise the flaws as she’s 12 now and needs to be available for the male gaze.

She’s trying to lose a few pounds, so I encourage her every mealtime about how important it is to confirm to society’s ideals and remind her that I myself would be nothing if it weren’t for my slim figure.

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

and then everyone in the ice cream shop clapped!

 

[CatCafe234]

Well I didn’t want to share this as it’s so outing, but this is an actual, genuine picture of me:

Honestly, it’s nothing but a curse looking so young, but we all have our crosses to bear. Although mine is obviously teeny-tiny.

 

[Wolf359]

I reallllly hate it when the stepmum has a baby and doesn't want them around. All the "I just want it to be our own little family", writing the poor stepkids out of the family tree as much as possible.

Not saying you're wrong and that doesn't happen. But just to offer a different side to it - when I had my first baby and was on maternity leave, my husband's ex saw it as an opportunity to take a new job with really long hours and I was expected to look after my step child all the time. Every time she asked if we could have my step child for extra nights, my husband readily agreed because in his head it meant his child was at our house more and spending more time with their new sibling. Win win right?

Well that would've been true if my husband was around to be an extra pair of hands but he also worked really long hours. So the reality was that I was left on my own with the two kids for all the shittiest parts of the day (school run and after school, dinner, bath, bedtime, bleurgh). I was also breastfeeding so couldn't move for long periods of time - sorry step child, I can't play with you, I'm nailed to the sofa - and also my baby never slept, so I would be so tired driving on the school run I had huge panic attacks because I was worried I would crash and kill us all.

I asked my husband for help and he told me I just didn't want step child around. I posted about it on MN at the time and was told I was an evil bitch and just didn't want step child around. I was so low, I actually ended up believing that I was the problem and they were right, i was just an evil step mum. Truth was I had PND and didn't realise. My mental health was absolutely fucked for a good year or so. Oh, also I had no help because my mum is dead and my dad lives four hours away.

This was all years ago and things are all good now. Relationship with step child is great and it's all a distant memory. But I'll never forgive MN for giving me a good kicking when I was already down!

 

[CrimsonCountess]

There seems to be a weird bullying friend troll at the moment. They keep posting stuff like this then arguing with people who respond. Then the thread gets deleted

Well today they have gone for a different tactic and just started telling posters to fuck off

 

[girlinbrum]

And gathering bank statements, payslips and his passport.

Whilst I appreciate this is useful advice it's also not insurmountable if you don't gather these things. I left an abusive marriage, walked out of the door with my daughter. I applied for replacement passports. Everything else such as bank statements and payslips was online. After about a year he said I could come pick up my things. I went and picked up sentimental stuff like photos of my daughter, stuff that probably fit one small box and left everything else, amazing how you realise that none of that matters. I don't know what my point is lol but feeling emotional cos we left when DD was 2 and she turns 16 very soon, and I'd do all that a thousand times over to have her.

 

[orangehead]

Someone said they don’t like Summer and this is literally the first reply

are you overweight?

 

[cat_follower]

Imagine your life being so devoid of joy and meaning that you think being thin makes you superior to others I used to think like this when I was a very mumsnet 7 stone, deep in my eating disorder and absolutely miserable. Now I’m a size pie and chips and much happier

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Are your posts still there? Ha, were you the one saying you knew an Italian wine merchant who wouldn't touch prosecco because it's poison?

And seriously, you got banned for that? I could sort of see why they might contact you to tell you to stop pisstaking, but banning? While the actual thread, a troll turd if ever I saw one, is still up? Leave a clear troll thread up, what do they expect??

No email, no nothing. Just banned
Thing is, I was just gently taking the piss out of the usual suspects trotting out the usual bullshit. I wasn't making up stuff for sympathy clicks or begging for money (which don't get banned or deleted) I wasn't even being offensive even though there was some hideously offensive stuff on that thread.
Still, they can't stop me. I have a million throwaway emails and a VPN

Have some more examples of my work...

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Mr B is not the dad to my boys but he has been in their lives since they were 3 and 1. They don't call him Dad but eldest has a kid and refers to him as granddad. Both boys cut their bio father out of their lives after dad's girlfriend threw them out of her house on boxing day when they were teens and their father did nothing about it. Wanker!
Mr B has always referred to them as his sons, as he did the parents evenings with me and stood on the football touchline, when their own father couldn't be arsed.
His mum always treated them the same as her actual grandkids too. She was always very sweet about it. Anyone who makes a child feel unwanted is an actual cunt. If you don't want them around, don't date/marry the parent.

 

[notanotherusername92]

This is the suggestion for a swimsuit for a “chubby” 12 year old.

Said 12 year old is normal BMI, slim legs but a “round tummy”. Mum has her on a diet, no seconds, no takeaways, no treats. Not even “junk food” like lasagne, she cooks mainly stews as kid doesn’t want seconds. Mum is dieting with her to help “motivate” her.

Mum loves the costume and is going to show her dd screenshots of it in different colours.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Honestly sounds like my mum wrote the 12 year old one. She sent me to Weight Watchers at 10, and wondered why I was in an ED clinic at 15. Now I've gone the other way due to numerous health issues and she tells me frequently how disappointed she is.
Actually if she could work a smartphone I'd assume she was on Mumsnet

 

[Sunlifeover50]

Does anyone else read ‘tinkly laugh’ on here and find yourself quickly doing a ‘tinkly laugh’ to practice. I do and I sound unhinged. I will get my coat…

 

[Backendofabus]

Part of the mumsnet uniform?

 

[Iamonlyhereforthetea]

There is a thread going about the cinema, is it a treat or an every day thing. Naturally most posts are about the costs but then this little gem has popped up.

 

[Florentine]

The worst thing I've ever eaten was at a friend's house. She wasn't known for being a good cook, but surpassed herself that night with "Chicken Divan": bits of chicken mixed with condensed cream of chicken soup, mayonnaise, curry powder and water chestnuts! As if that wasn't bad enough, the recipe said to mix cornflakes with melted butter to make a delicious crunchy topping...
She didn't have cornflakes and butter in so she topped it with marge and bloody Bran Flakes!
She really hated me, didn't she?

(Sorry! Should have explained this was promoted by the mentioning of All Bran. It's not just a sudden cry for help or something. Mayber the MNers would appreciate the recipe. Being faced with that would certainly help you stay teeny-tiny)

 

[50degreesnorth]

You’re all so very common aren’t you? I had an ex public schoolboy mercenary (think Simon Mann) prise a diamond from the fingers of an 8 year old.

Application submitted. Have sent off for another one - head of litigation at one of the big 5. Under experience I’ve said “25 years being a patronising cunt online”.

 

[Geetbo]

This is the suggestion for a swimsuit for a “chubby” 12 year old.

Said 12 year old is normal BMI, slim legs but a “round tummy”. Mum has her on a diet, no seconds, no takeaways, no treats. Not even “junk food” like lasagne, she cooks mainly stews as kid doesn’t want seconds. Mum is dieting with her to help “motivate” her.

Mum loves the costume and is going to show her dd screenshots of it in different colours.

And in 15 years she’ll wonder why her daughter wants nothing to do with her.

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

My sister has a PhD and does use the title. She is always worried on flights they will ask her for help in a medical emergency and all she will be able to do is write a really great historical report on the situation

 

[orangehead]

Oh ffs they’re on form the day
1 batshit Mumsnutter wondering if she should phone police cos a random squeezed her baby’s cheek and she’s worried about kidnap (woman wasn’t white for extra racism disguised as ‘cultural differences’)
2nd batshit one querying turning away asda delivery cos he was 2 hours early as had delivery across the road and she was in her dressing gown
3rd one having a hairy canary over what to say to a smoker friend with cats (smelly house, cat on worktop) who wants to invite the Dnutter and her DP for a meal at the house
absolute melts the lot of them!

Surely the answer is to call the police for all three. I call the police at least 10 times a day, so far I’ve called them 5 times;

Binnen were about 25 minutes later than usual, I had to check they weren’t dead

Dog barking outside, can it be given an asbo (anti social barking order)

Husband drank all the lemonade, trying to get an injunction against him to stop him doing similar

My friend didn’t reply to my WhatsApp for over 30 minutes, she could’ve been dead or trapped under a bookshelf or something

Two people were mowing their lawns at the same time creating a racket, can’t they schedule these things