Mumsnet #37 Wipe down my cucumber and sanitise my Hovis, I need to get my dicks in a row!

[Sunlifeover50]

I just knew the PN thread would keep me entertained looks at this for a reply… big round of applause for this lady


Someone needs to invent a highly nutrious but filling wafer that melts on the tongue, only one required per meal.
Flavours would need to include -
Week old chicken
Massive salad
One small square of really dark chocolate
Middle class aspirations
6 figure salary and
Niche hobby.

 

[EffingDust]

Is DMr Munch a doctor? Otherwise asking him to give your Dbumhole the once over sounds a bit, well, normal. Surely in a situation like this the question you really have to ask yourself is “what would the French do?”

They would without a doubt put a suppository in it.

Can’t even get a headache in France without them suggesting putting something up your bum.

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

Just leaving this here....

The countries where French is spoken aren't very MN surely apart from France.
Canada, too American
Belgium, too many frites and chocolate
Senegal, Mali, Gabon...well too African and poor
Haiti, too poor
Martinique, too much rum, children might be influenced
Madagascar, not since those dreadful films with Sascha Baron Cohen

Oh hang on...
Switzerland, lots of rules and especially no noise after 10pm. Ok this is perfect...

 

[Serene Serena]

Is it just me pr does there seem to be an alarming number of husbands on dating sites or simply cheating with other women on Mumsnet? So many threads where the wife has found messages on his phone/tablet. I can't access my husband's phone, it's facial recognition, as is mine. He's currently watching the Westham game and his phone is constantly buzzing, and I'm pretty sure it's his footie mad mates providing their own running commentary on the match. On the other hand, he could have a secret dating profile and being inundated with messages from the OW

Maybe I'm being naïve but there must be other signs your DH is playing away from home (good football analogy eh?) than messages to and from another woman? In the many, many threads about cheating husbands, it always comes as a complete surprise.

If it turns out my DH is a cheating scumbag and isn't having a live online convo with his mates, I shall have to get my poultry in logical formation forthwith.

 

[Girl#7]

The thing that amused me about the £100 note saga, was people saying you have to go to a bank to get them.

Well, yes, obviously.

You'll never receive one in your change unless you're trading in non-existent £200/£500/£1000 notes in the first place.

I'm thinking MNers are not the brightest bulbs in anyone's box, anywhere, at any time.

 

[Serene Serena]

I’m old enough to have chosen my university by course and location - ie somewhere I’d quite fancy living for a few years. Worra weird concept eh!?

I chose Manchester for the nightlife, not the university. Growing up in a little Welsh village where everything stopped at 10pm, I wanted to have fun and go to gigs and festivals and stay up all night. I bloody loved every minute. The course I chose was irrelevant.
<tinkly laugh>

 

[CrimsonCountess]

I was really looking forward to reading all the judgy comments from people saying it's a massive portion, but no it's just someone asking if her life is too busy

 

[holasun]

I have taken my child to the pub, regularly in fact.

But as the parent I see it as my responsibility to:
1. choose a suitable "family friendly" pub
2. go during "family" sensible times (i.e. lunch)
3. keep her bloody quiet and still and calm (easily done thankfully for us)
4. accept that other people might swear or be drinky and that's my problem not theirs

I have no issue with a pub choosing to be kid free, that just makes it clearer for us!

 

[ZanzibarDreaming]

I remember merde

Mainly because our French teacher used it all the time when he was trying to work the very old TV to show us one of the godawful videos about smug French teenagers

 

[Boring Monday]

My mum and aunt love ironing (wierdo’s) and will ‘rub over’ everything ‘to get the peg marks out’. Including dishcloths. When my cousin’s son spent a week with gran, he came home full of the fact his socks and pants were ironed and folded. Cousin - aye, you’re home now flower, just rummage in the laundry basket.

 

[PrincessCharming]

I’m always intrigued when they know exactly what neighbours are bringing in. I’m not even 100% certain of our household income, never mind next door’s!

 

[anniemouse]

An article in the guardian where a man tried to eat enough trifle to get over the drink drive limit https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeand...nk-driving-limit-tiramisu-trifle-breathalyser

My mum got my 17yo nephew to make the trifle one Christmas. There was that much alcohol in it that it didn’t set. You got pissed just opening the fridge

 

[Serene Serena]

2 x Leased Cars
2 x Nursery Fees
1 x Massive Mortgage (until Inheritance x 2 arrive)
1 x Not Only Keeping Up With The Jones', But Leading The Jones' Package

Easy done.

I hope inheritance x 2 has been spent on luxury holidays, expensive wines and delicious food by the time both sets of parents die. I HATE people who look on their parents’ money as theirs.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

Whoops, maybe I am alone in my skecher disliking! Now I am the one sobbing and shaking. I feel abandoned. Alone

I think it's just a sign of natural diversity in taste. We all like different things and that's good. It would be boring if we were all the same. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we all have our individual likes and dislikes and there's nothing wrong with that.

Except for NatashaDancing. That's a load of shit.

 

[HotDawg]

Ive had a bit of a day, so had a prepacked chicken and stuffing sandwich, crisps and a coffee slice. Not one tiny regret here. Having a full dinner later too.

This is one of the many reasons I prefer tattle. You’re all way more normal. Not completely normal, mind you.

 

[Louby@21]

Had a night of insomnia so been having a browse… crazy how they demonise UPF, carbs, booze, basically everything yet these weight loss injections are the best thing since sliced bread. ( homemade not upf)

I’m not slating the injections btw i’m sure they have a place under proper medical supervision but to get them online, not really caring about the long term issues with them, just anything not to be FAT. seems a bit crazy to me.

 

[Duchessofmanchester]

A hundred quid for a notebook? Isn’t that what Home Bargains is for?

What's Home Bargains?

 

[Iamonlyhereforthetea]

Fuck me just when I thought they couldn’t get any worse. I am sensitive to noise but I wouldn’t be pissed off about someone who needs something to live

 

[DollyPlops]

A pub locally has gone viral for being dog friendly but child free. I was hoping it would cause an MN froth but nothing so far that I can see.

 

[50degreesnorth]

Casual trainers my arse. As opposed to suitable for the office, brides, funerals and bar mitzvahs? Pretentious cunt.