Mumsnet #36 My mum died when a fat midwife fell on her so we moved to France

[lachimolala]

Speaking of rancid fannies.

Im just back from A&E after four weeks of doctor visits, countless antibiotics and thrush treatments from said antibiotics. The labia cyst I have been crying over is a sebaceous one and has to be taken out under general anaesthetic. I’m hopefully getting fast tracked but it’s gonna take a while. The lovely gynaecologist I saw said that anyone who has this problem should go straight to A&E as they will bypass having to see a GP and get a referral which will save you time. A&E will pop you straight over to the gynae people to the amazing Minge Masters.

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

My youngest sister was incredibly bright, reading from about 3, proper books, and was bored with the school reading material within days. Mum just took her to the library to choose something to read that she'd enjoy. We all thought she'd be the genius of the family, honours degree from Oxford at 14 kind of thing, but it all petered out when she discovered boys were more fun than books.

im now genuinely wondering if I belong to you family somehow? Thankfully I’m still the genius as no one can match my 2:1 and masters degree but I’ve definitely not lived up to my ‘potential’

 

[Serene Serena]

That adoption thread is just horrible. I assumed it had the one post someone put on here being unkind about it, but no. They are all rushing there to offer up awful comments about adoption not being something to celebrate. I mean, how dare someone post asking for ideas about celebrating someone becoming a mum on a website called mumsnet…

I hate the way someone always pops up with the 'fact' that the majority of adoptions fail, that the child had been irresponsibly removed from its birth parents, that all children up for adoption are damaged goods - it sickens me. Some friends of mine went through the adoption process and it was brutal, but they ended up going from a childless couple to a family of five, when they adopted a sibling group all under 5. I don't know anything about the birth parents, nor do I want to, but those kids are having the most amazing childhood and given so much love. Their mum and dad deserve so much credit. Those of us able to have children naturally have a few months to get used to the idea. They went from 0 - 60mph overnight.

Some mumsnetters should really step away from a parenting forum.

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

I hate the way someone always pops up with the 'fact' that the majority of adoptions fail, that the child had been irresponsibly removed from its birth parents, that all children up for adoption are damaged goods - it sickens me. Some friends of mine went through the adoption process and it was brutal, but they ended up going from a childless couple to a family of five, when they adopted a sibling group all under 5. I don't know anything about the birth parents, nor do I want to, but those kids are having the most amazing childhood and given so much love. Their mum and dad deserve so much credit. Those of us able to have children naturally have a few months to get used to the idea. They went from 0 - 60mph overnight.

Some mumsnetters should really step away from a parenting forum.

omg yes, one of my best friends and her husband adopted after they couldn’t have children of their own, and she is honestly the happiest little thing I’ve ever seen! They’re also about to adopt a sibling for her. I take my hat off to anyone who can be so selfless and do that.

 

[50degreesnorth]

Still thinking of rancid Fannies - this is from the Tattle thread and I thought it was about our Baked Bean vag thread title. But others think it’s just Jack Monroe.

 

[notanotherusername92]

My youngest sister was incredibly bright, reading from about 3, proper books, and was bored with the school reading material within days. Mum just took her to the library to choose something to read that she'd enjoy. We all thought she'd be the genius of the family, honours degree from Oxford at 14 kind of thing, but it all petered out when she discovered boys were more fun than books.

Yeah I could read before I went to school. Pissed me off that they wouldn’t let me read the books for yr6 and stuck us with the boring picture books. I used to get told off for reading constantly, by school, by my parents…

Library was my lifeline. But I ended up being more interested in the books I wanted to read, and read instead of doing schoolwork.

Now if exams had been on racehorse biographies (!) the works of Sidney Sheldon or Neil Gaiman, or the ingredients of the cornflakes/toothpaste/milk, I’d have aced them. Maths and history, not so much .

 

[Rags2Riches]

It was a while ago but did anyone see the “do you look at your old house on RightMove” thread.

Someone said no but a celebrity bought theirs and it was featured in Hello.

 

[Boring Monday]

Yeah I could read before I went to school. Pissed me off that they wouldn’t let me read the books for yr6 and stuck us with the boring picture books. I used to get told off for reading constantly, by school, by my parents…

Library was my lifeline. But I ended up being more interested in the books I wanted to read, and read instead of doing schoolwork.

Now if exams had been on racehorse biographies (!) the works of Sidney Sheldon or Neil Gaiman, or the ingredients of the cornflakes/toothpaste/milk, I’d have aced them. Maths and history, not so much .

Every Saturday morning, I used to sit on dad’s knee and he read my Twinkle and Pippin comics into our spool-to-spool tape recorder. All week I used to play it back and follow with the pictures and the words just went in. When I started school I was way past Janet and John . I read anything and everything and same here, the library was my happy place. Just walking in and the smell was a joy. I think at one point I was actually Anne Shirley and/or Jo March.

 

[Serene Serena]

It was a while ago but did anyone see the “do you look at your old house on RightMove” thread.

Someone said no but a celebrity bought theirs and it was featured in Hello.

Was it Robbie Williams? He's bought a new house in London recently, but tbh, I think it was for something like 75million and even that would be a stretch for most mumsnetters. Wouldn't it?

 

[50degreesnorth]

Was it Robbie Williams? He's bought a new house in London recently, but tbh, I think it was for something like 75million and even that would be a stretch for most mumsnetters. Wouldn't it?

A 75 million house in London just makes you an average earner. <Holly Valence head tilt>

 

[Serene Serena]

A 75 million house in London just makes you an average earner. <Holly Valence head tilt>

Up North we can buy Manchester, Leeds, Liverpool and most of North Wales for that sort of money.
<tinkly laugh>

 

[NitrousOxide]

im now genuinely wondering if I belong to you family somehow? Thankfully I’m still the genius as no one can match my 2:1 and masters degree but I’ve definitely not lived up to my ‘potential’

Same; I was the one correcting my teacher's spelling and a maths whiz from birth, but am now so hindered by being autistic that I can't get a normal job. I never expected this!

 

[sistersofpercy]

DS was a stupidly early reader. (Saddened to say it all evened out and he now works in IT rather than rocket science).
I recall him telling me he knew where fairy liquid came from when I was washing up one afternoon. ‘Volcanoes’ he said.
Massively confused I asked him what made him think that and he shot off to retrieve a book… Aladdin. He flicked through the pages and pointed to a line that said “and the volcano spewed a fiery liquid”.

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

Same; I was the one correcting my teacher's spelling and a maths whiz from birth, but am now so hindered by being autistic that I can't get a normal job. I never expected this!

hang in there lovely, it took me a lot of tries to get the normal job that I now have and am comfortable with. I always remember the open day at primary school where the parents attended and they had played classical music, the headmaster asked if anyone knew the composer and I put my hand up and said Bach. It wasn’t but his face was a picture!

 

[LilyPond]

Back to fannies. There is a thread in Sporners Corner (and we're disgusting?). Where someone has posted a picture of her stubbly foof with an ingrown hair.

This comment made me laugh out loud. Is it too soon to suggest " we didn't need to see your clam" as a thread title?

 

[Serene Serena]

Back to fannies. There is a thread in Sporners Corner (and we're disgusting?). Where someone has posted a picture of her stubbly foof with an ingrown hair.

This comment made me laugh out loud. Is it too soon to suggest " we didn't need to see your clam" as a thread title?

I've just been to the Co-op to buy their poor people's meal deal (pizza, garlic bread, chicken nuggets, potato faces and chocolate ice-cream, my kid thinks he's died and gone to heaven) and now I have to regain my appetite, not think about pus spurting out of infected follicles.

ETA: I am adding une petite quantité de salade for those of you shuddering with disgust at all the beige.

 

[Audaciter]

That adoption shower thread has some of the most rancid cunts ‘contributing’ absolutely offensive bullshit. What utter utter shitbags.

I’m a mother through adoption. That lot can get to duck with their cunty opinions and pontificating on a subject about which they’re entirely ignorant.

 

[Pinkii]

Hmm doubting the tattle MN poster, apparently she has only just discovered Tattle recently, yet suddenly she remembers the Clemmie scandal

I was on Tattle and barely knew about it and it wasnt a viral media thing where everyone was talking about it, so unless you frequented tattle or are majorly into the influencer lifestyles or her page, you were unlikely to have heard of this ‘scandal’

 

[Serene Serena]

Hmm doubting the tattle MN poster, apparently she has only just discovered Tattle recently, yet suddenly she remembers the Clemmie scandal

I was on Tattle and barely knew about it and it wasnt a viral media thing where everyone was talking about it, so unless you frequented tattle or are majorly into the influencer lifestyles or her page, you were unlikely to have heard of this ‘scandal’

She's a regular Tattler that one. I don't know half the influencers she's outraged on the behalf of.
People are still begging for codes

 

[Pinkii]

She's a regular Tattler that one. I don't know half the influencers she's outraged on the behalf of.
People are still begging for codes

100%

all of the ones who claim sites like this isnt for them
Seem to know an awful lot about whats said about influencers

i know they think we’re jelllus bulliez.. but i think they’re jealous they can’t get codes