Mumsnet #3

[witchofwestbyfleet]

There's another thread on there currently with someone complaining that they are annoyed by the sound of their neighbour coughing as he frequently smokes outside. Someone was all "no, you can't have someone hacking up a lung outside your house" as long as he is in his own front garden / outside his own house there's nothing OP can do about it, is there? I guarantee house prices were the immediate priority there too

 

[SharkAttack]

The five year old who might become sexist and drunk if he played rugby was vintage MN crap. I couldn't believe my eyes with that post.

 

[JustAnotherFollower]

I joined this thread recently and have been enjoying the tales so I did a bit of googling of mumsnet and could not believe what I stumbled across! haha there was an OP posting about 'her husband leaving poo crumbs everywhere' (yes it was the first I heard of this too) but the responses were priceless... Google mumsnet and poo crumbs and I promise you won't be dissapointed... I def think it was a troll but many of the responders were very serious in true mumsnet fashion! hilarious!!

 

[ElectricDreams]

AIBU watch!

"AIBU to think 21 years old isn't a 'young' mum?" = obvious humblebrag about having had her children very young.

"AIBU to want a 'naice' property in Manchester?" = what's with the f-ing "naice" all the time? Talk about beating the dead horse, it was a one off joke years ago, move on

"Carrie Johnson time to resign" = OP admits that Carrie is not elected yet somehow still feels SHE (not Boris) should resign, WTF?

Someone complaining of overweight neighbours allowing their child to eat a bag of crisps walking to school. While this is certainly inadvisable, the OP's tone is pure Mumsnet: "I was brought up in a culture where children eat healthy, nourishing breakfast at home (or at before school club), not crisps in the street!"

Someone not wanting their son to play rugby which OP associates with sexism and heavy drinking. Sane commenters point out the child is 5

Someone wondering if neighbours may be in trouble as they don't seem to be home, aren't answering the door etc. yet utilities and lights are on in the house. Another case of "for the love of God please do something about this situation, don't just sit there asking Mumsnet like a dummy" (yes, OP did report it)

I have just come on here to comment on this! Really winds me up!

 

[FrannyGallops]

They think everywhere outside of London is a slum and we all live under corrugated iron lean-to’s and don’t have running water or electricity. I think they’re worried they won’t be able to get ‘staff’ who don’t communicate by grunting.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

Yikes, off to google mumsnet poo crumbs

 

[Inforapenny]

Yikes, off to google mumsnet poo crumbs

Same!



I really hope it was a troll

 

[JustAnotherFollower]

Same!



I really hope it was a troll

I bet it was one of the Mums DH getting some payback on them!! So funny! and gross

 

[Crazy Horse]

They think everywhere outside of London is a slum and we all live under corrugated iron lean-to’s and don’t have running water or electricity. I think they’re worried they won’t be able to get ‘staff’ who don’t communicate by grunting.

Yes & the streets are all cobbled, we all wear clogs, flat caps & smoke roll ups & all our children are sent up chimney's

 

[bellinibobble]

Yes & the streets are all cobbled, we all wear clogs, flat caps & smoke roll ups & all our children are sent up chimney's

You’re joking.. but once I spoke to someone who genuinely asked me if the M1 is a quiet road because no one wants to travels up North. She was defo a MNer.

 

[Aussie]

You’re joking.. but once I spoke to someone who genuinely asked me if the M1 is a quiet road because no one wants to travels up North. She was defo a MNer.

That's hilarious

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The funny thing is I’d imagine most of these women aren’t even from London but moved in from the shires post uni, so no one from here even a) asked for them to come b) wants them either

We’re starting the selling process now to get out of London & into the countryside and I cannot bleeping wait!! These people are delusional if they think London is as good as life can get, especially now and especially with kids.

Thank god my husband doesn’t leave any poo crumbs but certainly not enough to calculate a statistically robust average of their diameter from x

 

[Crazy Horse]

Only came across this thread last night, I’m loving it, you guys are so funny

 

[PrincessCharming]

If you can measure the diameter of a poo crumb, it’s not a poo crumb but a turd!

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

I just can’t with this whole poo crumb thing!
All day today I kept thinking of it and each time just wtf
Multiple threads on there about poo crumbs!
How did I get to be late 30’s, four children without ever knowing what a poo crumb was?!!
This is like a whole new chapter for me. I feel like right now you’re the only people I can talk to about this - when I’m ready to talk. Still in the wtf phase!

Wish I never googled it to be honest. Was so blissfully ignorant about poo crumbs damn that morbid curiosity getting the better of me. Again.

Poo crumbs

 

[JustAnotherFollower]

I just can’t with this whole poo crumb thing!
All day today I kept thinking of it and each time just wtf
Multiple threads on there about poo crumbs!
How did I get to be late 30’s, four children without ever knowing what a poo crumb was?!!
This is like a whole new chapter for me. I feel like right now you’re the only people I can talk to about this - when I’m ready to talk. Still in the wtf phase!

Wish I never googled it to be honest. Was so blissfully ignorant about poo crumbs damn that morbid curiosity getting the better of me. Again.

Poo crumbs

I'm sincerely sorry!!

 

[Inforapenny]

Apparently there are poo trolls on MN and MN moderators have to keep shutting them down.

 

[Fluffyrabbitslippers]

The funny thing is I’d imagine most of these women aren’t even from London but moved in from the shires post uni, so no one from here even a) asked for them to come b) wants them either

I like living in the shires make me feel like a hobbit , I haven't got hairy feet tho

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Apparently there are poo trolls on MN and MN moderators have to keep shutting them down.

They’re probably poo fetishists.

It’s like some of the “blokes” I see typing here like someone’s mum - posts riddled with emojis and complex back stories and references to their genitalia. Idk if they think they’ll get more female attention off it but it gives me major heeby jeebies reading some entirely fabricated back story.

I like living in the shires make me feel like a hobbit , I haven't got hairy feet tho

Love the shires & can’t wait to probably live in one! Nothing wrong with them but a lot of ppl come down and start complaining about people that have lived here for decades / over 100 years and you think what in the cross country coloniser is this? Like the rapidly skimmed over actually racist post Victoria Emes made about “Boyz in da hood” outside her front door. Black men were here first go back to the midlands if you are scared of them????

 

[ElectricDreams]

When there's a thread asking for specific advice or opinions on a scenario, you always have the ones that fixate on a minor, irrelevant detail. I've just read a thread where someone is asking for advice re her husband caring for his mother, and a little nugget of information came out that the husband doesn't live with her and doesn't work, and this is what people are fixating on... "Well why doesn't he live with you, why isn't he at work?" Knowing the answer to that isn't going to alter the advice they give surely? Mumsnetters are just nosy!