I read a thread yesterday about people needing to stop letting strangers live with their children which turned into a dig about single mums who apparently have low standards, are gross for allowing a man to stay overnight in their child’s home and of course plenty of indulging in their favourite hobby - man bashing. A lot implied that every man is an abuser.
This was all based on what had happened to Arthur Labinjo-Hughes.
saw that. It was more to do with moving a new man into the home than one night stands etc - or at least the posts I read were. Kind of agree though, some people move on into new relationships far too quickly with people they barely know. Before you know it they’ve moved in their latest lover and the children have to live with a virtual stranger. Someone my husband went to school with, lovely woman, but her child is 15 now and has had 11 ‘dads’ live with them over the years. There’s no way on earth she knew them enough prior to living with them. Strangers in her child’s life just coming and going. And that’s not an isolated case, it does happen very often, by both men and women.
People are very great at hiding their true selves in the early days of relationships (look how much domestic abuse doesn’t begin until pregnancy, new baby or when a woman/man leaves etc). It’s unfair and foolish to live with a new partner before you truly ‘know’ them. As for one night stands with your children in the house, I personally wouldn’t and couldn’t understand anyone who does, but each to their own.
As for every man being an abuser; I don’t think that’s what they meant. I got the impression they implied that any man can be an abuser; like you can’t easily distinguish between the ones who’ll be abusive and the ones who will be amazing. So why take the chance with children in your home. So for this once, I agree with the mumsnetters
