Mumsnet #2

[Cacacoisfarraige]

I used to laugh at the can I leave the kids in the car while I pay for petrol threads. Some of the posters were nuts. Cars blowing up was given as a reason and you getting knocked down returning to the car after paying for petrol (ignoring the fact that if you were carrying a child they would be also knocked down.

I wonder how many 112 calls start with ‘someone on mumsnet advised me to ring’

 

[FrannyGallops]

I don't really get the outing thing. Who do they think are going to recognise them?

I’d it’s a really specific situation that’s never been posted before, I could understand it (although i don’t think there’s many of those on MN now). But it’s usually ‘DH does a hobby at the weekend…’

Oh no, User12678493! You’ve revealed too much! Best get the thread deleted! No other husbands in the U.K. do an unspecified ‘hobby’ at the weekend!

But I AM the only person in the whole of the UK doing my work, if I told you I'd probably have to kill you?! It's not top secret or involving people's lives, but there is only ME doing it. If Mr Jeaver had a hobby (apart from red wine and watching F1 and sometimes being incredibly irritating) I couldnt tell you that either

That reminds of the ‘what will happen if the Queen dies’ threads.

‘DH works in this department, and he knows that the Queen died 6 month ago and it’s going to be announced at 6.35pm tomorrow evening’

No he doesn’t, Sandra Quit your bullshit.

 

[Lolly666]

The postman ringing the doorbell at 7am thread made me laugh. I KNEW it would blow up immediately with them all flexing about how early they get up and how everyone should be up by 3am in order to be a valued member of society. But then whenever someone posts a AIBU to have a lazy duvet day with snacks and movies, they always fall over themselves to say oh yes you MUST. You deserve it, make sure you stay in bed all day!

 

[FrannyGallops]

I have noticed that the serial fantasist LeQueen is back on doing her interminably boring show off stories. I know she was banned but she must have grovelled to be allowed back. She lives in a dream world.

Is she under the same username? When I was new to MN, I think I might have had an argument with her about school nativities/performances. I thought all the kids should get a go, but she said it was right that only the most talented should get to perform (like her daughter, who had a natural stage presence, apparently). We were talking about infants/nursery.

 

[ElectricDreams]

My has very recently been a victim of a nursery biting, it’s entirely her fault she loves “feeding” her peers and one of them didn’t take too kindly to it and bit, drawing blood.

It was honestly the most dramatised thing by the nursery I was doing an uncomfortable laugh cos it was like satire - they assured me they’d done an extensive review of CCTV footage and seen “the incident” from multiple angles and could confirm it was [redacted] and his one sharp tooth. She’s been sterilised and bandaged and is making a full recovery sat on [redacted]’s lap having some cuddles. Now please sign the accident form and take a copy for your records, I was actually speechless by the whole thing and thought am I bad mum for not really caring she’s been bitten by another child?! Maybe I’m a mug who’s missed my chance to make the Times rich list 2021? I’ll be giving Mark Lewis a call now

I wish more parents were like you... Its never nice having to tell someone their child had been bitten (or is a biter!) but it's a perfectly normal stage of development, and is usually done out of frustration at being unable to communicate what they want. Some parents seem to think that the biter has targeted their child on purpose out of nastiness which is rarely the case.

 

[Sunlifeover50]

Sorry to go back in about the detention thread but I’ve just had to laugh. I went onto see if the OP had updated- she had and the school came to the correct conclusion imo BUT she said that one poster told her she needed to sell her house to be closer to school if the daughter can’t get to after school detentions

 

[rainbowhouse]

Saw this and thought of you guys

 

[FrannyGallops]

Let's not forget that if a woman has been too scared, isolated and vulnerable to leave when her children were younger, her adult daughter is then told it's all her mother's fault the abuse happened because she didn't leave and the daughter should completely cut her off for the rest of her life (usually whilst maintaining a relationship with the abusive man as 'he's a good granddad' buys the daughter and grandchildren things).

But also the ‘my mum is awful and I’m struggling to have a relationship with her. She’s not interested in me and tried to slap me across the face after I bought her chocolates for her birthday’

‘OP, you are disgusting! My mum is dead and I would give anything to have her back. It’s your MUM, fgs!’

You can mix and match any family member with that one.

 

[Traveler001]

There’s a thread on there atm about someone who doesn’t want the childminder to give her 14 month old any sugary treats. Which is fine. But then goes onto say her kid was happy eating raspberries while all the adults stood around eating the kids birthday cake. Poor little bugger didn’t even get any of her own cake! Why buy one in the first place?! Obviously everyone’s rushing on to outdo the OP with tales of how their kid has never touched sugar in any form and now only eats raw horse meat and grass as a teenager out of choice.

Hold on, hold on, hold on... someone has given a 14 month old raspberries? Otherwise known as PURE SUGAR. No wonder there's an obesity crisis. That child will be too fat to walk before it's 2.

 

[Miss polar]

I have a look on there occasionally. Not a signed up member, but the place is absolutely bonkers. So much of it is obviously made up!

On a serious note though, I think there are lot of women on there who have serious issues with food! The competitive underrating that goes on is shocking!
I think there’s going to be a lot of kids of these freaks with eating disorders when they’re older!

 

[Resting Rage Face]

My wife has been in mumsnet for years. I was on it for about 6 months. My wife still shows me the craziness regularly.

When I was there I found it to be absolute poison for the most part. Being male, I wasn’t allowed an opinion on anything and was regularly attacked for my gender and their assumptions of my skin colour and sexuality.

I took it as it is largely a female space but after 6 months I started to argue back a bit. Mildly. Very soon there were people trying to get me banned and the occasional admin hinting towards it, so I exited.

Dreadful place, full of very angry and hate filled people.

Ah mumsnet

Mumsnet and “hobbies”. It would always be the word “hobby” and never saying what it actually was. As if a partner playing golf could be “outing”.

who uses the word “hobby” in real life?

The hobby ALWAYS turns out to be cycling though...

 

[ScaryDinosaur]

On the food issue, there are the threads where they outdo each other on how little they eat in a day and the ones where they compete over how healthy their children's diets are and how their little darlings don't even like juice. Then there's the ones who try to outdo each other on how much food their kids can put away when they get in from school and how their kids are all very tall and slim built I wish they'd make their minds up about whether overeating or undereating is best!

I've noticed on the food threads they all have lentils with EVERYTHING! Even if they have a fruit salad they'll find a way to shove lentils into it

 

[FrannyGallops]

Did the OP come back to that thread to let us know what she ordered online on Saturday night? It's in active currently and can't be bothered scrolling through it

Those threads are so boring. And unless it’s a life size cardboard cut out of Pat Butcher, I’m not flippin’ interested. It’ll be something incredibly mundane, because it always is.

 

[nothanksbabes]

They all have ‘seriously hot husbands’ too. Depends what your idea of seriously hot is.

I've worked in law firms with these men my entire career and can confirm 99% of them are fuck ugly and the ones who aren't are arseholes who think beige chinos are the pinnacle of fashion.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

I hate that stupid LTB "advice" they come out with all the time for the tiniest infractions or disagreements. Totally demeans genuine situations where someone needs to escape a bad scenario. It's pathetic, knee jerk advice with no consideration for whether it's a good/sensible/safe move and my fear is that when someone genuinely does need to get away, they won't view it with the same credence because it's so overused on there.

 

[Traveler001]

I've noticed on the food threads they all have lentils with EVERYTHING! Even if they have a fruit salad they'll find a way to shove lentils into it

And a massive salad on the side

 

[House of Tea]

I really feel sorry for some of them, they think...
(1) "Are you on GLUE ?" is the hight of comedy, this saying was around in my school years, and an in joke in Alan Partridge.

(2) "Pull your big girl pants up" when somebody is genuinely asking for help in an awful situation. It's awful advice.

(3) "Give your head a wobble" yep Mumsnet please do this because it's one of the worst phases l've ever heard.

(4) Their are some really hatefull posters on your site, many who l think are sockpuppets.

Other than that it's all good

Somebody said the glue one on another thread I visit on her. I nearly said, get back to Mumsnet.

 

[SpindleWhorl]

It gets confusing when DP could either stand for parent or partner, or DS for son or sister. It doesn’t seem to enter their heads to clarify it in the OP. Or worse, they’ll start with ‘DD12 shit on the floor this morning and ate it’ and it gets 20 outraged replies about why a 12 year old girl is shitting on the floor at her age when OP comes back with the big reveal 2 hours later that in that case DD stands for Darling Dog.

I also don’t get why some of them write DDog of DHorse or Dcat. It’s longer than just writing fucking dog!

I remember a thread once where the OP was talking about her DH and after a few pages of confused posts it turned out she was talking about her Hamster!

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

I love the AIBUs. They’re hilarious. The way they all turn on one another is so funny. I also noticed that despite all of them being super skinny millionaires with cleaners, PhDs and perfect morals, they’re so bloody jealous and miserable!! I read a post today about adults with problems, one response was something like if there’s anyone without any problems in their life then they’re not living in the real world okkkay!

Oh and if pornography is ever mentioned then all hell lets loose. If the wind is blowing east on Jupiter’s fifth moon then porn is to be regarded as bad, degrading and any man or woman who watches it must be burnt personally by Satan. If there’s a west wind across mercury though and there’s a high tide on the fourth hour, then porn is all cool for one and all to consume, anyone who thinks otherwise must be ridiculed immediately and called insecure and a male abuser.

 

[Renegadedancer]

I’m always tempted to put ‘ have a tidy round before you start posting pictures, your house is a tip’ . The Huns would be all over me like a rash.