Mumsnet #2

[Five hundred dogs]

I saw someone once told they could make money by buying old mirrors at boot fairs, using chalk paint on the frames and selling them on as shabby chic masterpieces . If you’re broke you’re not going to have the time or money to be farting around upcylcing mirrors .

 

[nothanksbabes]

Surely if you're struggling for money you can just make 86 meals from a single roast chicken?

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Surely if you're struggling for money you can just make 86 meals from a single roast chicken?

Only 86! How wasteful, I can get at least 120 out of one small chicken!

Actually my household of three can get two meals out of one chicken, usually one roast then a chicken risotto the next day. I’ve never understood the ever lasting chicken.

 

[Captainmouse]

Sorry to lower the tone, but it always amazes me how many of them claim to never fart in front of their ‘DH’. There are some who’ve been married for 20 plus years and have never farted in front of them. Do they have corks stuck up their backsides or something?

I mean if you can’t trump in your own home when can you? Everyone farts, it’s natural and normal.

I am obviously a closet mumsnetter! I use the bathroom/loo

 

[tortfeasor]

Sorry to lower the tone, but it always amazes me how many of them claim to never fart in front of their ‘DH’. There are some who’ve been married for 20 plus years and have never farted in front of them. Do they have corks stuck up their backsides or something?

I mean if you can’t trump in your own home when can you? Everyone farts, it’s natural and normal.

It might account for why a lot of the posters on there seem so quick to snap. I‘d be tetchy as duck if I were going around holding in farts!

 

[Kaylon8083]

I’ve heard busking as a way of raising money. Also heard become a childminder - that one annoys me because it isn’t that straightforward, I think you have to register with Ofsted and complete DBS forms etc.

Also the threads where a poster complains that they are single, lonely and fed up. The poster gets this range of advice:

1. Have you done OD?
2. Join a walking club.
3. You need to love yourself more
4. You’ll find a man when you’re not looking.
5. I’ve never had this problem, I married my hubby at 21 and if he died, I’d be happy to stay single.
6. You’re too fussy.

One suggestion I heard and detested on there was “Twirl your hair around on a date and giggle like an idiot at all his jokes”

 

[Peachsquish]

Love this post and one of the replies

 

[sixdinnersid83]

I have been surprised at how many long term posters on there turned out to be your basic troll.

 

[Thorongil]

This thread is a great laugh. That bleeping necklace just about ended me.

 

[bellinibobble]

Love this post and one of the replies
View attachment 816199View attachment 816200

For all the shite on there, every so often pure gold turns up this is what keeps me lurking

 

[Brigitjonesbuttcheek]

Sorry to lower the tone, but it always amazes me how many of them claim to never fart in front of their ‘DH’. There are some who’ve been married for 20 plus years and have never farted in front of them. Do they have corks stuck up their backsides or something?

I mean if you can’t trump in your own home when can you? Everyone farts, it’s natural and normal.

I'm allowed to fart with impunity, but DH is supposed to leave the room. He's the only meat eater and I don't like his smelly meat farts.

 

[RR20]

I've never come across anyone IRL who has ever used the term cocklodger

 

[House of Tea]

I've never come across anyone IRL who has ever used the term cocklodger

Or wankbadger

 

[Goosegamer]

There's a thread running at the moment in which the OP has discovered she has a phobia of sunflowers. Everyone is sympathetic with her plight. However, over the weekend, there was another thread in which a colleague of a different OP has a spider phobia and asked the manager to ask the hapless heroine if she'd consider removing her (frankly hideous) Zara spider brooch. Cue countless posts about what a snowflake the colleague is and how the OP should chuck spiders at this colleague.

Why I keep going to that hell site I'll never know.

 

[Kaylon8083]

There’s another thread too where an 8 year old called her mum an asshole and she wants to ban her from going for ice cream. Some of the responses are very cruel - ranging from ban Christmas, take her hover board (already confiscated) to the charity shop, one poster said if the child was hers, she wouldn’t have been given any lunch, another said hers would end up with a smacked bottom instead of ice cream.

The child did do wrong but surely no ice cream and the confiscation of her hover board is punishment enough?

For a parenting site, some posters really get off on being nasty to children

Plus some are working themselves into a froth about how the child learned the word asshole.

I’ll be blocking the site again once I learn how to work my new phone.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Or wankbadger

Presumably an excessive masturbator!? I have to say I rather like that - and the word, too!

 

[Chunkeylaydee]

There’s a thread where the OP is annoyed her Teen who has ASD hasn’t packed to go on holiday and just wants to leave him home.
Then later when people are pointing out that she shouldn’t leave a 14 year old with ASD alone, they have announced his dad is packing and she’s done and not going. I doubt the poster will return.

 

[FrannyGallops]

There's a thread running at the moment in which the OP has discovered she has a phobia of sunflowers. Everyone is sympathetic with her plight. However, over the weekend, there was another thread in which a colleague of a different OP has a spider phobia and asked the manager to ask the hapless heroine if she'd consider removing her (frankly hideous) Zara spider brooch. Cue countless posts about what a snowflake the colleague is and how the OP should chuck spiders at this colleague.

Why I keep going to that hell site I'll never know.

That brooch is bleeping hideous. Tbh, I was ready to go steaming in and call the OP’s work colleague a snowflake but then I saw the brooch. I’m not scared of spiders but I’m terrified of bad fashion choices so I’m with the colleague. It’s an affront to my eyes.

Cue lots of posters saying the brooch is lovely and they’ll be getting one. Maybe they can put it on a necklace.

 

[Pinkii]

That brooch was bleeping hideous, i can only imagine the posters other idea’s of ‘fashion’

 

[Yel]

Is this it?

RHINESTONE SPIDER BROOCH

Metal brooch in the shape of a spider with rhinestone appliqué. Safety pin fastening.

www.zara.com