Mumsnet #2

[Lolly666]

Anyone seen the post where the OP can't pay her rent because her Universal Credit got messed up? She got the flat through a homeless scheme and there's quite a few posters asking "what about the father, Can't he help?" Surely they must know full well that if that was an option the OP would have already tried that?! Also, if she was previously homeless then unlikely there's some magical wealthy ex she's on good terms with that will be able to help her out. Honestly, what world do they live in on there? Some of them are just pushing for be Goss on why the OP is a single parent and what happened with the child's father.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

There‘s a thread now moaning about how her gym class didn’t observe the 2 minutes silence today. I mean if you really wanted to observe it you’d go to the gym before or after wouldn’t you?

 

[Pinkii]

What about 'Get your ducks in a row' and 'All money is family money anyway'

We'd be on the floor in seconds

this one always cracks me up, as

a) its only family money when the woman wants to buy something, but if she has more money than its hers as she has worked

b) i don’t know anyone who has ‘family money’ only. Everyone i know has a joint account four household bills/costs and each have a separate account for their own money

Excuse all the spelling and grammar errors, my phone had gone temporarily insane

 

[Gym&Tonic]

Sorry to lower the tone, but it always amazes me how many of them claim to never fart in front of their ‘DH’. There are some who’ve been married for 20 plus years and have never farted in front of them. Do they have corks stuck up their backsides or something?

I mean if you can’t trump in your own home when can you? Everyone farts, it’s natural and normal.

 

[Kaylon8083]

Today the Huns are debating about juice in a school packed lunch with one poster describing juice cartons as foie gras in a carton

 

[FrannyGallops]

I honestly believe that if they put such mystics around food that it'll damage the child in the long run. Kids want to eat cake at parties. As long as they're not eating cake for every meal what's the problem?

The words ‘obesity epidemic’ have already been mentioned. Also, I don’t think a lot of these food policers realise how much sugar is actually in the fruit and yogurts that they ply their children with.

A tiny bit of cake won’t hurt and I’m sure watching all the other childminded kids eat birthday treats while they get a bowl of berries and water would be far more damaging.

 

[Lurker527]

Theres a thread on there asking if her parents are too much or is she being unreasonable because they keep turning up unannounced and recently they were trying to have an intimate moment when they peered through the door.. the thread soon turned into 'how and where did you have this intimate moment OP when you have a 5 week old and 5 children at 10am in the morning' and 'you keep referring to your other half as a partner not a husband, I hope that's just figure of speech'

Because according to mumsnet we must all be married before babies and only have sex once a month at 10pm with the lights off with our husbands

 

[Traveler001]

Who buys used lightbulbs?!?!?!

Someone who is only slightly less poor than a person who sells their used lightbulbs...

If I saw used lightbulbs being sold on Facebook or ebay I'd assume it was code for a fetish that sex workers were now using so Facebook/ebay didn't close their accounts by using the real term!

 

[Yel]

I strongly believe someone will go too far on that site one day and it will end in tragedy.

People on there do forget that there is a real person with feelings behind the screen

Who's to know it hasn't already? People's phones / computers are locked so it would be unlikely anyone could see internet activity.

There have been some awful threads where it seems like someone desperate has gone for advice only to be ripped a new one.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

My SIL is a snobby bitch who looks down her nose at 'tradesmen'. When she was growing up her Dad was a postman and her mother worked on a checkout on Tesco, so get down off your high house you snotty cow.

 

[Kaylon8083]

I imagine them all to be like Emma Thompson’s character in Love Actually. Middle aged women (no shade there, as I’m one myself) who have a very privileged lifestyle and say they vote Labour but are secret Tories. They have farty arse part time jobs like knitting consultant, while their husbands work in the city and earn ‘six figures’ and they say they have a very happy marriage but the ‘DH’ is shagging his PA. Subconsciously they know this, but on the ‘He’s Cheated!’ threads, they’ll come on and give it Billy Big Bollocks about if their partner ever did that, they’d string him up by his arse cheeks and use his testicles for earrings. They wouldn’t.

Weird how you can get all that from a necklace

They do get quite emotional at the scene where she opens the Joni Mitchell CD and has a private cry.

There was a lovely thread one Christmas where a poster took delivery of a Tiffany package and posters were convinced the husband was cheating on her and one nastily said she would be getting a Joni Mitchell CD. On Christmas Day, the poster revealed that she’d lost both her parents and the Tiffany package was indeed hers, it was a necklace was from her MIL to remind her that she wasn’t alone and she would always be a part of her in-laws’ family and the necklace had the family’s names engraved on it.

I’m sure some were salivating at the thought of a RL Love Actually moment.

 

[ElectricDreams]

I quite enjoyed the show us your engagement ring thread where the OP put hers on and it was basically Kate and Middleton massive engagement ring

 

[Kaylon8083]

They also don’t like anyone else holding their newborns either. Usual advice is to put the baby in a sling or take the baby and hide upstairs.

They really don’t like their extended families at all and just spend time in their little family bubble. It’s an alien concept to me as I grew up visiting grandparents, aunts and uncles on a regular basis.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Just saw this comment on a thread about little Arthur Labinjo-Hughes. Why do so many of them struggle to accept that some women are deeply unpleasant and psychopathic and can be abusers as well? They don’t need a man to make them act like that. Never mind that Emma Tustin had form before she ever met Hughes and had her children removed from her by SS

The first partner has addiction problems which basically explains all of her life story to date? Obviously don’t condone stabbing your partner to death and I’m not excusing it but we don’t know the circumstance around that. The trauma & chaos in her life is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone, plus the separation from her child which has since allowed for his murder, I do have compassion for her and hope she’s getting a lot of support and can turn things around.

The second partner was trash from day dot! She had two kids removed from her care prior to this and what reads like a number of manic episodes attempting suicide when partners were going to leave. The court said it about the dad prioritising his needs above Arthur’s, and there’s a few of these cases going on at the moment and it’s the same across the board.

Trigger warning child abuse - Disgustingly I think the resilience of these child victims to survive sustained abuse/brutal attacks give the parent a false sense of security that it’s not that bad so they don’t put a stop to it as they want the partner’s love and adoration, then when they’re finally murdered by them they scramble for excuses over coercive control and manipulation. Fuck off, bunch of cunts they aren’t victims in the slightest.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

In mumsnet land, the answer is always a Breton top/ statement necklace/ statement scarf

Fucking statement necklaces. Fine if you want to look like Theresa May, or a geography teacher from the 1990’s.

 

[ElectricDreams]

No one thinks they are panic buying though. Everyone has a reason. Even the tossers filling up multiple jerry cans think they have a good reason.

I saw a woman on MN claim that she needed to fill up because she was going to see relatives that live a long way away. It hasn't occurred to her to stay home and let the people that needed fuel for essential trips have it.

I read a thread where they were all trying to outdo each other on just how inconvenienced they would be by not having any fuel. If one would have to walk 3 miles to the nearest station, take a 1.5 hour train journey then 5 stops on the bus, another would have to take their 2 disabled kids on 3 separate trains with a 30 minute uphill walk at either end to get them to school, then have to get a bus for 45 minutes in the other direction to work, where they would arrive 2 hours late then leave work 2 hours early to do it all in reverse! Why do they always live rurally, and why do their kids always go to school miles away?

 

[Wackie Jeaver]

There's a thread on there at the moment, very strange woman. She doesnt want her husband to pick their daughter up from uni to come home for Christmas because a) she doesnt like the daughter much and b) she'd have to look after 3 younger kids, 2 with special needs for a whole 7 hours. I cant fathom it out at all. Of course there's a lot of competitive 4 Yorkshiremen style tales of epic journeys home from uni. Anyway the OP replies in very short sentences or just an emoji, doesnt want to elaborate or anything.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

Over the last few weeks there have been lots of thinly veiled snooty threads about having to slum it whilst holidaying in the UK. One woman started a thread genuinely stating that people who snore shouldn’t be allowed to go camping because she’d been disturbed by someone in the next tent snoring and there was one whinging about another family who’d dared to drive back to their tent ‘late at night‘ with their lights on ’waking everyone up’ (maybe they’d have preferred these other people to have done so without the lights on potentially driving into other tents and killing and maiming people?) They then had the audacity to sit out their tents and chat at the ungodly hour of 10.30pm whilst they were on holiday. There were so many comments about how campsites in France are much better because everything is more spaced out and you don’t get as much noise, but for so many people in the U.K. who can’t afford to holiday in exotic location or even on a campite in France this is the only holiday they get and seeing these stuck up hags belittling it really annoyed me!

 

[FrannyGallops]

There's a thread running at the moment in which the OP has discovered she has a phobia of sunflowers. Everyone is sympathetic with her plight. However, over the weekend, there was another thread in which a colleague of a different OP has a spider phobia and asked the manager to ask the hapless heroine if she'd consider removing her (frankly hideous) Zara spider brooch. Cue countless posts about what a snowflake the colleague is and how the OP should chuck spiders at this colleague.

Why I keep going to that hell site I'll never know.

That brooch is fucking hideous. Tbh, I was ready to go steaming in and call the OP’s work colleague a snowflake but then I saw the brooch. I’m not scared of spiders but I’m terrified of bad fashion choices so I’m with the colleague. It’s an affront to my eyes.

Cue lots of posters saying the brooch is lovely and they’ll be getting one. Maybe they can put it on a necklace.

 

[SpindleWhorl]

Anyone else remember the thread where the OP managed to lose her ironing board in her one bedroom flat? That was a mystery that was never solved