Mumsnet #2

[Gemgemgemgem]

I read a thread yesterday about people needing to stop letting strangers live with their children which turned into a dig about single mums who apparently have low standards, are gross for allowing a man to stay overnight in their child’s home and of course plenty of indulging in their favourite hobby - man bashing. A lot implied that every man is an abuser.

This was all based on what had happened to Arthur Labinjo-Hughes.

saw that. It was more to do with moving a new man into the home than one night stands etc - or at least the posts I read were. Kind of agree though, some people move on into new relationships far too quickly with people they barely know. Before you know it they’ve moved in their latest lover and the children have to live with a virtual stranger. Someone my husband went to school with, lovely woman, but her child is 15 now and has had 11 ‘dads’ live with them over the years. There’s no way on earth she knew them enough prior to living with them. Strangers in her child’s life just coming and going. And that’s not an isolated case, it does happen very often, by both men and women.

People are very great at hiding their true selves in the early days of relationships (look how much domestic abuse doesn’t begin until pregnancy, new baby or when a woman/man leaves etc). It’s unfair and foolish to live with a new partner before you truly ‘know’ them. As for one night stands with your children in the house, I personally wouldn’t and couldn’t understand anyone who does, but each to their own.

As for every man being an abuser; I don’t think that’s what they meant. I got the impression they implied that any man can be an abuser; like you can’t easily distinguish between the ones who’ll be abusive and the ones who will be amazing. So why take the chance with children in your home. So for this once, I agree with the mumsnetters

 

[sixdinnersid83]

I am becoming increasingly suspicious of the ITU nurses who are exhausted after a 12 hour stretch and then come straight on to mumsnet to argue about Covid for two hours. Not sure how that thread panned out and I didn’t disagree with her point but hmm.

I hid the thread otherwise I spend hours trying to change strangers minds.

 

[Peachsquish]

There's a thread in active now named "Do you make a drink for anyone who comes to do a job in your house?" that's starting to get competitive! It's gone beyond the mandatory tea/coffee and biscuits and worked our way up through bacon sandwiches, sausage rolls, sandwiches, boxes of chocolates and now up to wine being offered. I wouldn't be surprised if someone posts that they offer all workmen blowjobs next

At least they'd have no problem getting the workmen to come back for any further jobs

 

[doctordoctor]

I love the ones where ‘DH’ has come home at 3am, drunk as a Lord and the advise is to leave him with the children all day whilst you go off into town shopping and find a nice cafe to enjoy coffee and cake, all the while leaving your poor children with someone with a massive hangover! That’s if you haven’t already put all his belongings into bin bags, thrown them into the garden and changed the locks of the house he jointly owns….

 

[Heyholetsgo]

Thread on there today about fruit pouches for babies and how one poster doesn't even feed her cat food pouches as it's bad for the environment. I do both and now feel insanely guilty, what d hell am I meant to feed the cat these are the same people banging on about the environment but are probably on their 3rd new kitchen in 10 years!

 

[DCICassieStuart]

And a massive salad on the side

Oh yes, it's always a 'massive' salad isn't it

 

[Captainmouse]

I thought you were going to say Jack Monroe! But it was mumsnet not tattle she's complaining about

It did sound like jack, she used to spend a lot of time on mumsnet, even did an AMA, claims to be poor, even sold her lightbulbs, claims to be a writer, wears designer clothes, but claims they were found in a skip or gifts, ditto all her gadgets and tech, has 3 smeg fridge freezers and a gazillion Cotswold sideboards, but can’t afford butter.

 

[sixdinnersid83]

On the food issue, there are the threads where they outdo each other on how little they eat in a day and the ones where they compete over how healthy their children's diets are and how their little darlings don't even like juice. Then there's the ones who try to outdo each other on how much food their kids can put away when they get in from school and how their kids are all very tall and slim built I wish they'd make their minds up about whether overeating or undereating is best!

‘Strapping rugby player’ ‘county netball’ =insecure internet fantasists

 

[SqualorVictoria]

I honestly believe that if they put such mystics around food that it'll damage the child in the long run. Kids want to eat cake at parties. As long as they're not eating cake for every meal what's the problem?

 

[Gym&Tonic]

Can someone explain to me why people seem to post a thread at the most unconventional times!?

Eg- husband having a heart attack- need a hand hold waiting for ambulance

If that was a normal Person surely their focus would be on their husband or whatever the situation is.


I can’t imagine going through something scary and my first thought being i need to post on an anonymous forum

Ive also seen a few where they’ve said things like ‘my DH died this morning and I am struggling to cope’. Well firstly your husband has literally just snuffed it, so I’d be worried if you were coping and secondly the last thing I’d be doing is posting on mumsnet if my husband had only just died in the first place!

 

[Gym&Tonic]

The thing with the lunchbox threads is they often suggest stuff like pasta in a flask. Do they even have any idea of how much of a faff that is for kids and staff?

 

[hkbss]

I do think some people have weird boundaries when it comes to kids and new partners. Many men seem to think a new girlfriend should take on the role of step mum straight away just because she's female. Many women seem to move random blokes in after 5 mins when they don't know the guy from Adam.

I had a friend who had a new boyfriend like weeks after her separation and straight away they were sleeping over, her young kids were getting into bed with her and the new man, he even helped with potty training. This was some guy she met on the internet!

I think most people know you really need to have well vetted a new partner before letting them spend intermet and alone time with kids. But some people don't seem to get that.

Not to be too critical to your friend but gosh what poor judgment.

I remember as a teenager still trying to process my parents’ divorce and my mum having a new boyfriend regularly. She could never understand why we weren’t thrilled to meet these men and be forced to play happy families with them. She of course married one guy with 3 kids which was a whollleee big mess when the inevitable break up after less than two years of marriage happened. It was tragic to witness and so predictable. I still resent her for it years after her death and tbh feel repulsed by her desperation to not be alone and disregard the feelings of two devastated teens.
Have a relationship by all means, but why do your children need to be involved unless it’s an established and serious one?

Not to be too critical to your friend but gosh what poor judgment.

I remember as a teenager still trying to process my parents’ divorce and my mum having a new boyfriend regularly. She could never understand why we weren’t thrilled to meet these men and be forced to play happy families with them. She of course married one guy with 3 kids which was a whollleee big mess when the inevitable break up after less than two years of marriage happened. It was tragic to witness and so predictable. I still resent her for it years after her death and tbh feel repulsed by her desperation to not be alone and disregard the feelings of two devastated teens.
Have a relationship by all means, but why do your children need to be involved unless it’s an established and serious one?

Quite the I’ve gone on rant there. Sorry all!

 

[FrannyGallops]

I think someone quoted the T&Cs to the poster but she was still of the view that it was her right to ask for the goods to be honoured at that price etc

Well, she can ask. But from my time in retail, I can tell you that those are the ones that the JL employees will take the greatest pleasure in telling to fuck off


.

 

[EmilyChambers]

Yes!! Was so gobsmacked by so called promiscuous neighbour wanting to ride share to football to get her claws into OP’s husband! Just wtf trust issues galore

"Excited after a game of football, high on adrenaline and wearing shorts"

Was my favourite line from her post

 

[AlanBanan]

There’s currently a thread running on there about M&S Cafe now serving a macaroni cheese toastie with a side of chips and how disgustingly unhealthy this is because its ‘carbs, carbs and more carbs’, they then go onto say it’s no wonder there’s an obesity crisis, like people don’t have free will and shouldn’t be allowed an unhealthy treat once in a while. Whoever said on the previous thread that MN is effectively a pro Anna site isn’t far wrong.

Seriously? They remind me of those mothers who force an eating disorder on their child. When I used to use tumblr it was not rare for a teenager to write how their mam doesn’t allow foods over so many kcal in the house, them being called “a whale” “a pig” “fat bitch” all because they had eaten more than a small bowl of soup that day. Kids hiding food under their bed so their mother doesn’t find out they’ve been eating more than 500kcal that day. One kid even had a safe that she hid pot noodles and would hide the empty wrappers and packets in her school bag so she could dispose of it in the school bins.

it’s disgusting that the competitive under eaters do be going out of their way to trump each other, it’s not a competition, it’s disordered eating. Go to therapy and realise why you’re behaving such a way with food rather than finding a bunch of other mentally unwell people like you who enable your disordered eating.

 

[EmilyChambers]

The post about the woman coming back from a night out, sneaking into the house and catching her husband watching fifty shades of grey is quite funny. Its titled, "Is my husband a perv?"

(Worth noting she has seen the film herself but isnt happy her husband is watching it as he has never expressed an interest in it )

 

[Pinkii]

They are seriously unhinged on there.

everytime has a thread about a new relationship its either ‘i’ve noticed a red flag’ or posters telling them the smallest thing is a red flag.

no wonder they are miserable, they don’t trust anyone and the only red flags are the women posting on there.

 

[Yel]

I think if you think they are all that different you are kidding yourself.

Can't agree, I think forums do vary a lot. Just like the different threads on tattle do vary a lot.

On Mumsnet they almost encourage people to be unpleasant in their most popular forums and users egg each other on in a way we would let happen here.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Isn’t most squash all no added sugar now anyway? Like maybe the squash of the 80s and 90s could have cleaned ur loos but there’s probably less fructose per gram in squash than fresh fruit?

 

[EmilyChambers]

It also gets me how many of the literally abandon their children once they turn 18.

They no longer give them money, birthday presents or christmas presents and expect their child to pay half of all household bills including mortgage or rent, pay for their own shopping, do their own cooking, washing and ironing or even better, get them to move out of home on their 18th as they are now all fully functioning adults.