Mrs Hinch #694 A boring trip down memory lane, Hinch is rattled by tattle again

[CaesarSaladFingers]

Hi lurker here - read along, but never post as I'm usually behind a few pages. She's so dull and out of touch though I'm thoroughly caught up.

Prefacing this by saying I want to gouge my eardrums out now... I was looking for an audio book and it turns out the ol' MEmoir is free on Spotify Premium... and curiosity got the best of me. Don't worry I only made it halfway through Chapter 2.

I will say it's good for a laugh at how many times she mentions Helmet Yahoo in the first 20 minutes. The re-listen to the pink silk purse & hanky stories were gold. What a fucking dimwit.

But my main takeaway is the whiplash of contradictions in Chapter 1 alone. "I was gregarious, social, messy" - then in the next breath "I was needy, shy, awkward, loved organising"...
Also its such a mess grammatically, that I actually believe now she did write most of it.

 

[Eyesopened]

Staff meeting at liars lodge - me, mum, Jamie & my sister

 

[Mum of two]

Previously the washing pods were advertised as effective for removing stains at low temperatures?
If Vacay vibes is so brilliant why did she need to put the sofa covers in a hot wash then?
Good luck getting them back on when they've dried Dogpie

 

[cantstandinfluencers]

I think Hinch has had a falling out with Stacey’s sister and SS has, unsurprisingly, sided with her own flesh & blood.
Label Lady posted the other day saying “the reality is that no one is making hoover lines before they go on the school run” then in her latest stories she repeatedly spoke about not using a filter on make up videos and said “If you see skin that looks airbrushed then it is. Skin has texture, movement, lines, wrinkles and spots. They’re there on everyone”
She’s also recently been on This Morning talking about cleaning and organisation (Hinch’s old territory) and did a post about tiding her under sink cupboard (definitely Hinch’s old territory) when she said “I don’t care that it looks awful because practicality and functionality is all that matters”.
Even if it wasn’t intended as a dig at Hinch she would’ve taken it as such because she’s a narcissist, she thinks everything is always about her and she loves nothing more than playing the victim.

Iconic need to give label lady a makeup deal - drop Hinch who ALWAYS wears a filters when advertising makeup. I can’t stand Stacey’s sister but she is correct when she says that if you see a flawless face then it’s airbrushed etc because all faces have texture, lines, a spot, veins, freckles etc The filters Soph uses also managed to make her look like an alien

Also loved the fact she showed her under sink cupboard looking like an under sink cupboard -not that near and tidy. It’s just a functional space that no one sees. I’ve lost count of how many times Soph re-organises hers.

 

[Jyhy1110]

Wtf is she wearing on her size 5 footz
View attachment 2886047

they look like polio shoes

 

[Homebird44]

She whinging again? A hard week? They both don't work, what is wrong with her. She's so out of touch. Can't stand the stupid woman

 

[teshhco-tart]

So she admits that they spend most of their time in the kitchen / conservatory, where there’s no tv on that big blank wall next to the table but there are iPads and headphones in the cupboard in the booth. So instead of putting the kids programs on where you can all watch them and discuss them and interact with your children you sit them at the table with individual iPads and headphones so that you can ignore them while you scroll on your phone?
Also, should the boys reward chart not be on the wall instead of stuffed in a cupboard where they can’t see it?

I think what she means by where they spent most of their time is, where she records videos the most. I reckon SHE spends her time in bed or on the sofa most of the time, the kids are probably in the playroom watching tv most of the time outside of meal times where they eat at the booooof with headphones on. Jamie is probably at the tangerinery most of the time smoking or playing games at the 'cinema room'. I actually think she smokes a lot as well, she sounds like she does.

They never have dinner at the dining room because tbh, who does?! Unless you have guests but she has no mates so scrap that.

The other memory room is prob a dumping ground for all her props.

Funnily enough she didn't show her office for someone who works 6 days a week. Bet she's never in there.

I also reckon nonob sleeps in a spare room most of the time because of his snoring and so he can gamble online freely - there is no way you can sound so nasal while 'speaking' and not snore like a motherfucker while sleeping.

The camels can't come in anymore because they infected the kid (motorbike) hence the Berlin wall slash fence.

The boys rewards chart is in a cupboard because she never uses it.

I hope my accurate tour was helpful.

 

[Danielle0120]

Someone commented on that reel how no one would say anything negative to her face. I bloody well would, I'd get thread 500 out and go to town on her.

 

[Zofloragirl]

How old are you Dogpie? 13?
On a business account?
Definitely not getting enough

She really is vulgar in everything she does.

 

[Duchessofmanchester]

Hinch just a quick definition of a villan.
A bad person who harms other people, breaks the law, or a cruel or evil character.

Sound familiar????

 

[FFS2023]

I forgot to post this yesterday but spotted her in the wild buying a few faux trees

 

[londonLA]

Good job she loves sponges as she's married to a massive one! He's king of spongers.

As for Lennie, wipe his mouth for god sake. Why does she have to take pictures of him with mess round his mouth all time.

 

[Swisspea]

Just caught up on the Tapple stories from the weekend. It baffles me every time she posts something like this. Why would you advertise your own stupidity and ignorance on social media, especially when this is your business.
It wasn’t live, she didn’t have to post it, it has nothing to do with “cleaning” or “home” or whatever her page is supposed to be about these days. Why would you watch a video of yourself being an absolute thick twat (doesn’t understand what the word “villain” means, doesn’t know who Freddy Krueger is) and think “I know, I’ll post that to my millions of followers and business partners so that everyone who pays my bills can see what an uneducated cunt I am.” What goes through her head (if anything)?

Trying to create the “poor ickle Sophie” character so the shoppers think in their heads ” ah bless ’er ’eart she wouldn’t con us, would she as she’s too dim“. It’s just character creation/narrative.

 

[Danielle0120]

Acting like a Saint for rescuing hens ffs
She shouldn't have ANY animals. Period.
She shouldn't even have kids

 

[CoolMom]

What in the name of all things gareish is that teddy bear all about

ETA - Apologies if this is a thing for ASD children now. I don't want to come across as a cnut like Hinch.

I imagine she gave it to him for world autism day. Probably in a world autism day eve box inside a giant egg.

 

[Cassy Role]

Hi Hinch. How’s about you invite bestie bubs 4eva over for a catch up and a fondle? She’s the one who has stolen all of your content after all.

Wait what? She can’t make it she’s too busy?

Oh.

 

[cazellie]

I think she’s confusing lonely with bored. She does nothing at all and likely has a lie-in every day while Jamie does the school run and her parents pander to her. Can’t imagine how shit her day is cos if she did anything she’d document it. And she cries because she thinks her ‘trolls’ are jealous but really who would want her life?

 

[teshhco-tart]

Why is she saying she had a shit week if she posted plenty of fake happy moments gardening and having a good cackle laugh with mamfa?

Content wise - get your own ideas you lazy fuck! Otherwise, just post your real life and your real face, stop portraying unattainable goals for your sheep and while you're at it, show us how much you get paid per lie and how much you spend per week on bots.

Many thanks

 

[Loopy83]

Does she really think those boys are gonna give a flying feck about her precious journey!
As long as the money is coming in they won't care.

 

[Sh1tRollsDownHill]

I'm too tired to try and explain coherently what I'm thinking about her telling the boys her journey in the future but one thing I can say is it will consist of her letting them know that they owe all they have to her!
Only she can turn fleecing people in to it all being about the journey she's been through.
She's a chavvy influencer who has made a mint from doing shit adverts flogging chemicals, not a NHS covid nurse, war evacuee, cancer patient or a survivor of any sort. She needs taking down a peg or two.