Mrs Hinch #630 Queen of Huns - adjust your Home Bargains crown, choose your filter and move on.

[GimmieSauceage]

Good morning real working mum here just wanted to ask where I can find these 6 day “jobs” that don’t require any work and the apparently early starts that see me messing about with make up and then have the time to edit all the stupid clips of me?

Why did Jay ship the kids in for the make up (pointless) content then drag them off to obviously get them ready for nursery so she has plenty of time to stare at herself in the camera.

Her life is a complete mystery to me

 

[YR80]

May have already been said somewhere but I don't think all this talk of directions and the constant drip feeding is anything to do with their marriage. That man is bloody terrified of her and/or that marriage failing. He would have and be NOTHING without her and he knows it! He's got a nice cushty set-up at the minute which also explains why he's such a friggin enabler!!

I dunno. If their marriage implodes, I reckon he could get a tidy sum revealing the real Mrs Hinch. I’d watch/read to see how accurate Tattle really is (and let’s face it, we’re nothing short of 100%)

 

[Dancing_in_the_dark]

God those singing to herself videos are a new level of desperation.

 

[Laracroft27]

Please don't tell me she paid £42 for 9 Muscari bulbs and 3 small terracotta pots??????

 

[puddleduck]

Was she the popular kid in school and now she feels inferior as she’s a very small Flip and Flop fish in a very big pond?

Didn't someone previously come on who was at school with her and say she was the nastiest, vile leader of a girl gang who bullied relentlessly?
I may of course have made that up in my head but I'm sure there was something along those lines

 

[Picklelily]

All that arse licking she’s done of Molly Mae and she didn’t even make it in Mollys q&a about her fave insta accounts 🫣

 

[sk8ergirl]

ASA who?

 

[teshhco-tart]

Im not particularly an animal person, apart from our dog/dogs, but the fact that she thinks they are just an instrument gives me rage! She can't even look after her kids!! Her garden it TOO SMALL to accommodate more animals, it's already too small for the camels - they must be bored shitless in that fucking graveyard.

The very fact that she is keeping it 'secret' until a pointless reveal says it all - they are for content! Same as the mysterious MH issues she keeps bringing up without saying WTF it is - It's all for content! Jesus I effing ate her and everything she represents!

That poor dog is dying! Anxious to fuck, obese, bored and anticipating even more anxiety with what's coming.

ME ME ME Animals will love me unconditionally so I must get them!

CUNT!

 

[Chipsandcheese]

I always howl when these z listers go on their stories apologising for being quiet like people are genuinely panicking because they’ve not seen a Hinch update in a few hours?

 

[Milfordcubicle]

Morning my nusties
Ive been awol (but of course you noticed cos it’s ALL ABOUT ME) anyway I woke up this morning having a dream that I was doing a trial shift to be Hinches childminder. She had a baby as well as Lenny Henry oh sorry Ronald….. she was having a big insta style party and I was looking after the kids. She drank wine from morning til night and I had taken my black Labrador with me (I don’t have a black Labrador) anyway she was shockingly rude and I had to change all the nappies, feed all the kids, put them down for naps like a child minder does BUT her and Jamie were swanning around faffing with party stuff while I wrangled 3 kids into cots with no sides that they kept escaping.
at one point they were colour coordinating a huge pack of dogs to take photos and Ronald had a sausage dog hidden in a play tent in the attic…..
anyway she eventually acknowledged my presence by asking how Lonnie Donegan had got a bruise on his head and basically accusing me. There was a leak in the ceiling and dog poo in the garden and an unending supply of wine
i went home and spent the night agonising over telling her I didn’t want the job, but terrified as I knew she would slag me all over insta and destroy my life.
interestingly Jimbob was a really nice bloke and sort of fluttered around in her wake apologising for her nastiness and trying to placate her.
she had a horrible long wool dress on

(context- I guess the headteacher suiciding after OFSTED has been on my mind as I had my career ended by OFSTED after malicious report and I am 2 months sober so I guess that’s the wine reference?)

anyway I woke up glad I’m not childminding at camel castle

 

[nickgrimshaw]

Rannnnn here to see the mean girl face screenshots from this morning's crazy little montage. What a Tattle treat

Also, masssshive 52 bedroom farm but she gets ready in a cupboard??????

 

[londonlife24]

Kate to the party but the Pringles video when she’s like ‘Lens face when I walk back in ’ sorry but his expression did not change one bit. Maybe if she spent more time letting filthy llamas or whatever they are roam about the house , and concentrate on her kids then he would look excited to see her

 

[Pumpkins1506]

Anyway, it's all just a playground for Sophie Rose hasn't-got-a-clue isn't it?

I just can't fathom why she didn't buy a house with more land if the plan was to keep animals. It's like when I was 7 and tried to convince my dad we could keep a pony in a 30m2 area at the end of our garden because I decided that was all the space it needed if I took it out for rides daily.

I totally understand having an emotional connection or loving a house a lot. But a normal, sensible person would look at the practicalities of their dream and whether it's achievable.
A very similar house not too far from me was up for sale at 2/3 of the price she paid, at roughly the time she was house hunting. It's a bit of a way out of Maldon but more rural than she is - the views out to the coast are beautiful from this house. Anyway, the house had like 8 acres plus stabling included and it is set back from the road. If I had the money I would have snapped it up in a heartbeat.
I just struggle to understand why she's being so pigheaded and barrelling ahead with her dreams of a menagerie when the space she has just isn't practical.

 

[Sazz1006]

Cardiologists will be inundated with an epidemic of burst hearts, melted hearts, singing hearts, full hearts and alpacas performing sterniotomies to ‘show you their hearts’. Swiftly followed by the gastroenterologist who will query, via gastroscopy/colonoscopy, whether Hinch is beautiful ‘inside and out’.

 

[JustmeJ]

Is she for real? She bought them those bikes (course she did- the sheep paid for them hunnayyyyyy) and now they have to play INDOORS with them because she sacrificed the entire garden for the fake farm’s existence? She really needs to get well. This is not normal. The WW get the grass and the kids don’t?!

 

[HinchesSousChef]

Trollomons about to do a new room for Rex. Let’s see whether Rex gets a creepy mural or not; whether he’s allowed to be involved in choosing the theme; whether it’s what he actually loves or not (pretty sure he’s Spider-Man mad like my 4year old). I’m not a trollomon fan but I love watching her one man up hinch at everything.

 

[Charlie&Lulu]

She’s Maldon’s answer to the Tiger King, tacky clothes, full of shit and doesn’t care how unhinged she looks, just keep piling in the animals

This is a BRILLIANT thread title!! “Hinch - Maldon’s answer to Tiger King”

 

[CoolMom]

My heart would not be smiling if an Internet stranger was saying this about my kids.

My heart would be running a fucking hundred miles away whilst calling the police.

 

[docmum]

Country garden? She doesn’t have a country garden. She has some muddy grass, with some fake tulip shit on her front door, along a busy main road. I have more of a country garden in my windowsill pots.

 

[12inchthinbase]

I know it shouldn't but the way she literally bends herself in half gives me irrational RAGEE. I hate it I hate it she looks fucking ridiculous, does she really not see it??