Mrs Hinch #485 Hunchback of Notafarm

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thread suggestion: breaking shopper’s hearts and raking alpaca sharts, jamie’s ready with the tranq darts
 
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Petting zoo wouldn't work..... Say a nusty troll enters and casually strokes an alpaca, nusty troll says under its evil satanic like breath "looks like the farmer hasn't creasoted that part of the stable yet"

From a far the panic button is slammed on as fiddle me Freda scrambles up the playhouse barracks armed and ready to fire.
Quick as a whip the nusty troll is consealed within a box awaiting the troll people to come and remove it. Don't worry crunky snacks and hay will be thrown in too. Weepy Al fills the water bowl.
Terrified troll can only hear the muffled sounds of "OI OI" "IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DON'T LOOK HUNNAYZ" AND "DON'T THEY KNOW WHO I AM JAYMMMEEE"

Due to a breach in security in tend farm it is thrown into lockdown until sopha has fully recovered and bitty supply replenished.

I just don't see how it's gonna work guys
Plus everyone will know where she's lives again Inc the naughty journalists 👍
 
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Shaving/trimming their thick coats
She’ll be great at that, what with her being a fully qualified hairdresser! To be honest, I couldn‘t look worse than when she sheared Jimbob’s head in lockdown! 🤣
 
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I’m really confused, she states she very hardly made the decision to move due to breach of security at their old home, but here she is, showing the lay out of her new home, showing who’s in who’s room. I’m sorry, but I would not be posting photos to millions of followers stating which area of the house my children were sleeping in. It’s just so irresponsible- especially when she has already said they had security issues previously - hence the move!!!!
 
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Wonder what filter she will use for alpaca selfies . Can’t wait to see them all bright orange with eyeliner
 
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Something I also don’t understand is her saying she has always wanted to live this sort of rural life, on a farm etc. Iv only ever seen her take the kids to the farm on the odd occasion. If she loved it, why is she not there more often. She can’t stand to see Stacey in her new home, living this type of life, she has to do one over her and get a bleeping farm and some alpacas. Wtf is that about. I just don’t understand how people are so blind to see she is just an attention seeker!!!! How has she got the time to do all of this. I have one child, I am only just sitting down peacefully ALONE on the toilet 😂 now after being with him constantly all day. Who has time to make a video montage aswell, arnt you cleaning up your kids after bedtime and having a glass of vino to unwind before Groundhog Day tomorrow of a crazy day with the kids. I don’t get it. I just don’t understand - she is soooooo unrealatable.
 
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I’m really confused, she states she very hardly made the decision to move due to breach of security at their old home, but here she is, showing the lay out of her new home, showing who’s in who’s room. I’m sorry, but I would not be posting photos to millions of followers stating which area of the house my children were sleeping in. It’s just so irresponsible- especially when she has already said they had security issues previously - hence the move!!!!
I think she wants companies to know her address so they'll send her freebies. They are that grabby, I wouldn't put it past them.
 
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She doesn’t like picking up Henry’s poos from her fake plastic garden, so goodness knows how she will get on with cleaning up Alpaca and chicken 💩
 
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We refer to them as Shitlands
Absolutely - and the minis are even more stroppy. I refused to get one for my daughter and now my granddaughters. They can take their chances with a Welsh A and if they survive that they can ride anything. But that won't bother Hinch - she'll just want to plait their manes with ribbons and paint their hooves with glitter.
 
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