Waiting for Hen to go to bed then I can settle.
Hurry up Saint Sophie of Maldooon.
https://giphy.com/13vJHSyname1Hy
Hurry up Saint Sophie of Maldooon.
https://giphy.com/13vJHSyname1Hy
I was in Tesco this morning and saw her list book on the shelf. I was going to put some thing more worthy in front of it to hide it (maybe a biography of a serial killer?!Right I'm back to being a Next Level Tattle Troll. Accidentally underlined.
I've half a mind to go the the supermarket now and destroy the certain pastry brands display.
And the Oscar goes to.....,,,Oh my good god, can you imagine the absolute SCENES in the Hinch house over the last few hours?
Pastry arrives in the morning and soph is wetter than an otters pocket that months of blatantly looking for a collab with JusRoll may finally be coming to fruition.
Fizzing with excitement she tells Jaymeh to stick Ronseal behind the sofa because she simply can't wait any longer to take numerous stories of her newly acquired beg. With Ron suitably confined to his sofa prison, she starts binning all of her other food and manically cleaning the fridge in preparation for all of her new pastry to take centre stage. Jaymeh is delighted, knowing it will be a talc neck kind of evening as nothing gets Soph more excited than getting a bunch of free shit she doesn't need or deserve. After much deliberation and careful consideration, she finally picks a shelf for the pastry. She spends an hour or so gazing at the open fridge, wasting electricity and not giving a fuck, with a lump in her throat unable to take it all in. How did lil ol' me from the village get here?!
Ronseal is briefly freed from the prison couch for his 10th nap of the day. Soph and Jaymeh pop out to the pub garden for a fag and a scroll through tattle.
It quickly becomes apparant that all is not well. The pastry trolls have taken their trolling to a new level and are not happy. Suddenly, her DMs start popping. Messages are coming in thick and fast telling her what a tone deaf, greedy and selfish boot she is for accepting and gloating about free food when so many people can't feed themselves due to the global pandemic. Soph cries to Jaymeh - why can't people just be kond?!?! She lights up another fag, clawing her neck and screaming at Jaymeh to fix it for her. Jaymeh rushes through to the kitchen and reappears with a carved ice cream for soph about what a boss babe she is. She's hysterical now and throws the ice cream at Hen who is waiting for his pre dinner snack. Jaymeh realises this isn't going to be fixed with ice cream so hatches a cunning plan.
She posts the Instagram story asking where she can donate food. Jaymeh cautions her that people might see through the bullshit Saint act and work out she's never donated to a food bank in her life. Soph laughs and reminds Jaymeh her barmy army carved an image of their second born out of mashed potato's. They're not calling her out.
Sadly for the Hinch's, they do get called out. Its time to pull out the big guns. This is a code red situation. Soph chucks some raw pastry at Ron and Hen telling them to make their own tea but warning them they better film it for the gram. With that, Soph and Jaymeh grab some tins from the cupboard, shove them in a bag for life and hot tail it to the audi they never bought. Speeding through the village of Maldon, Jaymeh frantically looks for a foodbank. Sophs wailing out the car window clawing her neck and screaming at Jaymeh THIS NEEDS TO LOOK AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE FOR THE GRAM.
Suddenly, they see a church. Jaymeh skids to a halt and Soph gets ready to film. They're saved. Soph jumps out the car, lobs an Iceland bag at the front steps and they breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Sophs reputation has been saved, the trolls have been defeated once more and best of all - she still has a fridge of gifted pastry.
Seems a good way to commemorate a memoir launchI do wonder what she’d do if tattle went silent....
Honestly - mashed potato baby will forever have a special place in my heartAnd the Oscar goes to.....,,,
this is brilliant. Can we cast Peter Kay to play all the characters. This is comedy gold. i fuckin love this.. Mashed potato baby .
The next shit will be that even though their Angel of Maldon donated to a food bank she got slagged off by trolls
There willl be loads of loving messages on her videos praising her whilst she sits faking sadness about how she can’t do right for doing wrong
Cue picture of Sir Shouts a lot and Won Won playing in a field with fatty in the background bothering a squirrel or something when they were happy on their recent £5,000 holiday before the food bank/Jus Rol publicity disaster with ‘my heroes’ written next to it and the sound of Bette Midler in the background singing “ wind beneath my wings”
I’d love to know how many people on there are pastry trollsThey’ve turned off comments on Hunbelievable about her latest post. I’m dead
FBIs hunbelievable a website, insta or a FB page?
Love that there was only like one pack of pastry as wellCalm down Soph! One bag?! Let’s not go nuts and spoil these people eh babe!
It wouldn’t have looked so disingenuous if you’d at least left it a couple of days after getting ripped apart on here to pull the food bank stunt.
I truly can’t even think of something to compare your morals to. You are vile!!
FBIs hunbelievable a website, insta or a FB page?
I keep reading this and still laughingNot gonna lie but if I was Hinch reading this I would be pissing myself!!
The comments can’t have lasted long haha I don’t know why they turned them off thoThey’ve turned off comments on Hunbelievable about her latest post. I’m dead
Found it! Thank you!I’d love to know how many people on there are pastry trolls
FB
Fb page, I asked to join and they blocked meIs hunbelievable a website, insta or a FB page?
Thank youp = is opposite of ugly
b = opposite of sharp
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?