Mrs Hinch #233 Sing a song of sixpence a memoir full of lies, who puts cheese strings on a pie

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I’ve never seen a laptop lying around with bits of paper to scribble on - you know, the way genuine ‘authors’ would draft a book. She’s as shady as a £15 note
 
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The font in that book looks like she’s been asked to write a 3000 word essay and is double spacing, probably uses ‘do not’ instead of ‘don’t’ just to add the word count up.
 
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Gosh, there really aren't many words in her memwah!! And I'm going to hazard a guess that 90% is utter tripe.
 
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I wish I could like this 10 times!!
 
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I think that she looks attractive in her pictures that she posts heavily filtered with her make up on. I’ve never seen her in actual real life to pass judgement on her actual look.
I don’t think (in my opinion) that she is as attractive as everyone thinks from the papped photos and when she’s been pictured with her “fans”
she is very good at showing herself in good lighting and filters.
I’m not saying she is ugly (she is on the inside) but Beautiful, Gorgeous and pretty aren’t words I’d use to describe her.

words I would use though; Scheming, Callous, Jealous (I think she is highly jealous of people who have actual fame and are well liked by the public) and also Insecure.

She posts her heavily filtered pics for validation from her army because She wants them to tell her she’s So beautiful and a #goal etc
it’s entirely how she’s built her brand isn’t it. “Mrs Hinch isn’t an old granny she’s this Essex beautiful normal girl next door, she’s perfect, she’s insane, she’s just like you and I”

she is very clever at marketing herself to brands, hence why she does the make up tutorials and gets gifted make up etc now because every company knows how insecure women who want to be her will buy any tat she advertises.

I’ve gone off on a tangent sorry, my bad!
But yes in agreement she has suffered nothing like Jesy!
 
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My friend who went to hairdressing college with her a couple of years ago said her skin is awful. Really pitted, so she cakes it in foundation. She said because of the band all she ate was wine gums and chain smoked
 
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Most interesting part of her stories for ages showing how Books are made!

maybe she wants to be the new Maddie on that CBeebies program or the old favourite of my mine How it’s made on Discovery channel
Oh no who was the one in the plane with the dog? She's mentioned her before...did everything from showing how your name got inside a stick of rock to how your poo got from yr bottom to a sewer??
 
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I really don’t understand the madness of her FB followers.

“What can I use to get X stain out of my brand new designer top?”

*insert pic of designer top with an added circle around said stain as it is so small you wouldn’t notice it otherwise*

“Oh hun, soak it in ACE, scrub it with elbow grease, then use the pink stuff, leave it to soak overnight in zoflora, rub and then blot with a minky and some fabulosa then put in the machine with Zoph’s gel and fabric conditioner combo and some white vinegar. Wash on 30 then dry on an indoor heated drier then spray it with equal parts hairspray and diluted Lenor”.

“Thanks hun will give it a go”.

I use two in one gel and have never had to do anything special (or expensive) to my clothes. Am I doing it wrong?
 
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Oh no who was the one in the plane with the dog? She's mentioned her before...did everything from showing how your name got inside a stick of rock to how your poo got from yr bottom to a sewer??
auntie mabel and pippin. It was ALWAYS the poo, the marmalade when they were superimposed badly in an orange grove or the frigging toothpaste. ALWAYS
 
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Oohhhh does madam hinch still smoke?
We aren’t sure for definite now. She did try to quit a while ago. Even if she does still smoke, it doesn’t matter and no one would care, but that doesn’t fit in with her perfect lifestyle. Nicotine stained salad fingers
 
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