Mother in law experiences? Share them! 🤣

[Nolongerjustalurker]

**TW for sexual assault**

My boyfriend at university was an emotionally abusive head but his mother was just another level.. I was sexually assaulted in my first year and confided in my boyfriend who had told her for some reason even though I hadn’t even told my own parents yet. She somehow got my email address and wrote me all these disgusting messages saying that I was a little slut and I got what I deserved, along with a whole load more of just awful awful things… she also abandoned us in a foreign country and stole my belongings after a fight with my boyfriend. Honestly thinking back it doesn’t even feel real it was soooo crazy.
My current partners mum is so so lovely, although she shortens my already shortened version of my name even further and it really annoys me but I’ll take that any day compared to what I put up with before.

 

[Gilmoregirl18]

So my mother in law hasn’t been interested in my pregnancy at all, Iv seen more excitement from someone who’s been told they are about to go on death row. She’s hardly ever asked how I am or even mentioned baby, she hasn’t bought anything for him or asked any questions about the scans/ appointments etc. I saw her last week at 38 weeks pregnant and was there for 2+ hours but she never once asked how I was, made ref to baby or wished me luck. And yet today she sent my mother some flowers for her bday and on text message said she’s soooooo excited for baby! Erm hello!?? Really?!!! Is she just playing mind games or something?!! I’m just so confused cos as far as I’m concerned I don’t want her near baby for the first week or so as she’s shown zero interest at all. Even my partner is fed up of her attitude! I’m just abit bemused as to why she’s said that my mum . Wondered if any of you had any ideas?!

Hey, my mil was similar when I was pregnant with my son, never asking how the pregnancy was going, when my partner sent her pics of scans, only got back one worded replies, it made me so angry, but also told other people she was excited, she never once showed it, but as soon as my son was born she was completely different, she couldn't be more involved now, which can be annoying.
Anyway I think it took my son actually being born for it to be real for her and she could actually bond with him if that makes sense.

 

[Upintheair83]

Hey, my mil was similar when I was pregnant with my son, never asking how the pregnancy was going, when my partner sent her pics of scans, only got back one worded replies, it made me so angry, but also told other people she was excited, she never once showed it, but as soon as my son was born she was completely different, she couldn't be more involved now, which can be annoying.
Anyway I think it took my son actually being born for it to be real for her and she could actually bond with him if that makes sense.

Did it make you resent her? Because that’s how I’m feeling and I really don’t want her being all over him when he’s born as it’s upset me that much. Do you like her now? Xx

 

[Gilmoregirl18]

Did it make you resent her? Because that’s how I’m feeling and I really don’t want her being all over him when he’s born as it’s upset me that much. Do you like her now? Xx

Yes, i did resent her, told my partner she wasn't meeting our son once he was born and not to tell her the date he was due to be born (elective csection) but of course my partner told her, she surprised us by driving down to London from Yorkshire the day before, so she could meet him as soon as possible, I was shocked but couldn't say no when she made the effort. I don't like her to be honest, but not because of how she was during my pregnancy, she's a brilliant Grandma, I will give her that.
I know it's not the same, but she may surprise you, if not then it's your choice who meets your baby, good luck with the birth xx

 

[Upintheair83]

Yes, i did resent her, told my partner she wasn't meeting our son once he was born and not to tell her the date he was due to be born (elective csection) but of course my partner told her, she surprised us by driving down to London from Yorkshire the day before, so she could meet him as soon as possible, I was shocked but couldn't say no when she made the effort. I don't like her to be honest, but not because of how she was during my pregnancy, she's a brilliant Grandma, I will give her that.
I know it's not the same, but she may surprise you, if not then it's your choice who meets your baby, good luck with the birth xx

Ahhhh I see. It sounds very similar to how I’m feeling then. I did wonder if it was just me being a bit over protective but then I keep thinking why should she see him so soon after she’s not been bothered- and that’s my biggest fear after he’s born. That she will waltz in and expect the red carpet.
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply and give me your advice and explain your situation. Xxxx

 

[Ceelea]

So my mother in law hasn’t been interested in my pregnancy at all, Iv seen more excitement from someone who’s been told they are about to go on death row. She’s hardly ever asked how I am or even mentioned baby, she hasn’t bought anything for him or asked any questions about the scans/ appointments etc. I saw her last week at 38 weeks pregnant and was there for 2+ hours but she never once asked how I was, made ref to baby or wished me luck. And yet today she sent my mother some flowers for her bday and on text message said she’s soooooo excited for baby! Erm hello!?? Really?!!! Is she just playing mind games or something?!! I’m just so confused cos as far as I’m concerned I don’t want her near baby for the first week or so as she’s shown zero interest at all. Even my partner is fed up of her attitude! I’m just abit bemused as to why she’s said that my mum . Wondered if any of you had any ideas?!

How does she greet you when you visit ? Do you get a smile and/or a quick hug and and a peck on the cheek at least ?

 

[Upintheair83]

How does she greet you when you visit ? Do you get a smile and/or a quick hug and and a peck on the cheek at least ?

No hun, nothing like that. Maybe a smile but then she goes and greets my dog and focuses on him. She doesn’t even really make any conversation unless it’s about the dog xx

 

[Sickofinstacrap]

No hun, nothing like that. Maybe a smile but then she goes and greets my dog and focuses on him. She doesn’t even really make any conversation unless it’s about the dog xx

Sounds like my MIL! Like the dog is the only thing I have in my life to talk about lol

 

[Upintheair83]

Sounds like my MIL! Like the dog is the only thing I have in my life to talk about lol

I mean don’t get me wrong I love my doggy! He’s amazing and I would never be without him. But she really isn’t interested in anything else. I get some people are dog lovers but she isn’t even like that! She only ever Started to tolerate dogs when we got ours. I just don’t understand why she’s not remotely interested in her first grandchild! It’s really upset my partner. He must see my mum and family getting excited and stuff and then there’s his mum....fussing and talking about the dog instead of joining him with his excitement of being a dad for the first time! I just find some people very.....odd

 

[Captainmouse]

Sadly not but the rails are supposed to be delivered and installed tomorrow (was supposed to be last week but mr peaches missed the delivery!!!!) so by rights she should be heading home this week. Weekend at the latest. I can already see a million excuses why she won’t be going home - maybe I’m just being negative in my head but I don’t wanna get my hopes up if that makes sense xx

@Peaches_xox what news? Hope you are doing ok

 

[Peaches_xox]

@Peaches_xox what news? Hope you are doing ok

I just had to ask him before I replied so I have a proper answer for you haha.

So he missed the delivery of the rails TWICE but they were finally installed on Wednesday. Only one rail honestly I could have done it myself .. but the occupational therapist said they can’t do much more until they see her at home and assess her.

Sooo I’ve just asked him if everything’s in place for her to return home this weekend. He said yeah I guess so. As much as it can be. I said what about the carers. He said he’ll phone tomorrow to transfer it over to her address SO SHE SHOULD BE GOING HOME THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!

 

[GlennCoco]

I just had to ask him before I replied so I have a proper answer for you haha.

So he missed the delivery of the rails TWICE but they were finally installed on Wednesday. Only one rail honestly I could have done it myself .. but the occupational therapist said they can’t do much more until they see her at home and assess her.

Sooo I’ve just asked him if everything’s in place for her to return home this weekend. He said yeah I guess so. As much as it can be. I said what about the carers. He said he’ll phone tomorrow to transfer it over to her address SO SHE SHOULD BE GOING HOME THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!

I've got everything crossed for you!

 

[Lulu Goss]

I just had to ask him before I replied so I have a proper answer for you haha.

So he missed the delivery of the rails TWICE but they were finally installed on Wednesday. Only one rail honestly I could have done it myself .. but the occupational therapist said they can’t do much more until they see her at home and assess her.

Sooo I’ve just asked him if everything’s in place for her to return home this weekend. He said yeah I guess so. As much as it can be. I said what about the carers. He said he’ll phone tomorrow to transfer it over to her address SO SHE SHOULD BE GOING HOME THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!

so excited for you

 

[Peaches_xox]

Thanks gang I’m still a bit like hmm I’ll believe it when I see it but I’ve got a new mattress on order

 

[Ellegee]

I just had to ask him before I replied so I have a proper answer for you haha.

So he missed the delivery of the rails TWICE but they were finally installed on Wednesday. Only one rail honestly I could have done it myself .. but the occupational therapist said they can’t do much more until they see her at home and assess her.

Sooo I’ve just asked him if everything’s in place for her to return home this weekend. He said yeah I guess so. As much as it can be. I said what about the carers. He said he’ll phone tomorrow to transfer it over to her address SO SHE SHOULD BE GOING HOME THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!

Fantastic news. I’ve been lurking here but not commented. Make sure if things don’t work out for any reason that he goes to stay with her & not vice versa. There’s absolutely no reason for her to return to your home that can’t be dealt with in her own house. She’ll probably do her best to pull on his heart strings if she’s comfortable in yours, make sure they keep moving forwards. Your bed is your bed & no one else’s.

 

[Peaches_xox]

Fantastic news. I’ve been lurking here but not commented. Make sure if things don’t work out for any reason that he goes to stay with her & not vice versa. There’s absolutely no reason for her to return to your home that can’t be dealt with in her own house. She’ll probably do her best to pull on his heart strings if she’s comfortable in yours, make sure they keep moving forwards. Your bed is your bed & no one else’s.

I have a feeling he may have to stay there to start with which is absolutely fine with me but you’re right coming back is absolutely not an option. If it doesn’t work out for her at home I think sheltered accommodation / care home will be the next option for her.

Let’s just hope it does happen this weekend! I’ll let you know xx

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

I have a feeling he may have to stay there to start with which is absolutely fine with me but you’re right coming back is absolutely not an option. If it doesn’t work out for her at home I think sheltered accommodation / care home will be the next option for her.

Let’s just hope it does happen this weekend! I’ll let you know xx

Good luck Peaches! My Mother went into a care home where she spent her final months but she was happy and looked after in there which is how it should be. Your OH has a lot to answer for in expecting you to be her full-time carer as well as be a wife and mother alongside a job too, all the while he slept alongside her! Not right at all; Let us all hope this is the end of it for you

 

[puddulduck]

I’m so glad there is a mother in law post so I can vent my experiences. However I may need to write a book to fill all the negative experiences I’ve had with her. So as much as would be lovely to blurt my guts on her i couldn’t tattle enough.
Long and the short of it I swear mine is losing her memory. Because she repeats the same thing over and over again so many times to the point now where I’m saying you’ve told me that before like 5 minutes ago. Oh is that a new jumper? Yes we had this conversation last week.
Now she keeps saying, “Oh I’ll be perfect one day” because I keep pointing out that she’s said this before so she keeps telling my husband she’s useless now to gain sympathy.
I can never think of anything smarmy to say back to her and all I can do is just raise my eyebrows. She gossips, she’s really loud, she’s rude, she’s just plain annoying.

It’s worse in covid. She’s all “you shouldn’t go out still” because she’s scared. Yet she’s double vacc’ed. Told me to stop working and to do online shopping when i was pregnant because i was being selfish and not looking after my baby.(she rarely cares about me) and ordered me to have the vaccine (because she was worried about her self) which i didn’t want but against my better judgement i am vaccinated now.

I was 7 months pregnant and the social worker phoned me saying they concerned for my children. Because of them having contact with some distant family member. I have never seen her so livid in all my life. She never once asked me how i felt during this time. I never in a million years thought i’d have to welcome social worker into my home but it was so so scary. And she didn’t care. She thinks the person involved is perfect and he’s done nothing wrong. Surely if the social worker was getting involved he wouldn’t be perfect!!?

She’s spoilt my zoom baby shower because she warmed my mum she was going to call the police because my mum was breaking the law delivering cream teas to doorsteps.
It’s the same old story though, i can’t be cross with her because she’s my husband’s mum and there is so much i can and can’t do. And i have children so i have to let her see them occasionally.
But one of these days i seriously think i am going to blow with her.
Or I’m going to move to Australia then she can’t touch me. And i think the OH wouldn’t mind because thankfully she drives him up the wall too!

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

Sound like the old witch I had first time around; Don't let her get to you!!

 

[Eeeww David!]

I have a feeling he may have to stay there to start with which is absolutely fine with me but you’re right coming back is absolutely not an option. If it doesn’t work out for her at home I think sheltered accommodation / care home will be the next option for her.

Let’s just hope it does happen this weekend! I’ll let you know xx

@Peaches_xox has she moved?!?!