My husband passed away in 2018. I had always described my mil as a bit odd, machiavellian behaviour and she done some pretty tit stuff to me over the years but nothing could have prepared me for when my husband died. She knew of an insurance policy that my husband had as the mail would go to her house (address not updated). In 2021 she tried to cash it in, claiming that she had tried to find me but she presumed I was dead. This insurance policy was to the tune of 200k and was to be split between surviving spouse and any children. My husband had a son (my stepson) and she tried to defraud us both.
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Holy mother that is callous!
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband x
That is awful, inexcusable behaviour from the MIL. Did you report her or anything?
My partner hasn't seen a penny of his dad's savings etc, he got a small payout from his Dad's work as it was a death in service situation and his dad had completed an expression of wish form. So other than money directly from his company, my partner and his sister have had nothing meanwhile step MIL has it all.
I got a lawyer involved and was able to claim what was mine and my stepsons. I never reported mil to the police, I could have done. She was just a wicked, wicked woman.
I'm sorry about your partner, death where there is money involved brings out the worst in people.
Both my husband's parents were assholes - there is no other way to say it after what they did to him, their only child.
MiL blamed their son for his father leaving her when he was 21 and he had actually left "Home" at 16 to get away from them, (that was despite the old man's departure being for some grafting old bag he'd met at work,) Said old bag set about completely removing my OH from his father's life to replace with Her Sons instead. OH ended up with NOTHING from either of them, our son (the final holder of the illustrious "Name") got a couple of thousand £s, daughter got considerably more and that has caused huge runctions between our kids!
Money does indeed bring out the worst in people - OH said "We'll leave bugger-all then theres nothing to cause trouble is there??" Sorted
Incidentally we fought the first case through the courts and ended up losing to a grifting asshole who attached himself to the MiL - we did not have upwards of £300k to contest the next fiasco so that was that, but put it this way, you can write a Will but that certainly does not mean a bloody thing in the Law. Here in France everything automatically goes to your children so some grifting asshole won't get a look-in here.
MiL blamed their son for his father leaving her when he was 21 and he had actually left "Home" at 16 to get away from them, (that was despite the old man's departure being for some grafting old bag he'd met at work,) Said old bag set about completely removing my OH from his father's life to replace with Her Sons instead. OH ended up with NOTHING from either of them, our son (the final holder of the illustrious "Name") got a couple of thousand £s, daughter got considerably more and that has caused huge runctions between our kids!
Money does indeed bring out the worst in people - OH said "We'll leave bugger-all then theres nothing to cause trouble is there??" Sorted
Incidentally we fought the first case through the courts and ended up losing to a grifting asshole who attached himself to the MiL - we did not have upwards of £300k to contest the next fiasco so that was that, but put it this way, you can write a Will but that certainly does not mean a bloody thing in the Law. Here in France everything automatically goes to your children so some grifting asshole won't get a look-in here.
I've seen and heard of so many instances where the person feels confident that their spouse (second marriage) will leave a significant portion to their children only to see it never happen and the spouse take it all to know I've never marrying.
Not quite the same, but after MIL/FIL divorced FIL moved on and got a girlfriend (this wasn't actually the first one, but was the one that became a long term relationship). Within the first couple of years she completely alienated him from us, he actually rang MrDD to tell him "not to call on weekends because that's HER time" (they lived apart). We haven't actually seen FIL for at least a decade as he became completely sucked into her side of the family and so he just "didn't have time" to see us. The last time we saw him (family funeral) he pretty much ignored us the whole time because his girlfriends son was there... His sister was gobsmacked at his behaviour (and told us so as she walked us out to the car when we left).
Anyway, the girlfriend (of 15+ years) died last year. Have we seen him since? no. Are we likely to? doesn't look like it. We didn't attend the funeral as we were not invited or even told when it was.
This may sound callous, but it's not my job to facilitate MrDD's relationships with his side of the family. FIL made his choices and these are the consequences. Don't get me wrong, if he rang up and wanted to meet for lunch or something we would absolutely go... but it's not my job to suggest it.
I only met the FiL after the divorce. He waiting until he'd walked his daughter down the aisle then packed up, left and moved in the with woman he had been seeing for years. He made contact with his son some years later only to borrow money, his business was failing. We let him have the money on the understanding that it would be repaid asap with interest. The following week we got a postcard from America, they'd gone on holiday. It took 3 years to get the cash back. Some FiL's are just as bad. We haven't seen him since after he asked for money again and we refused.
Slightly OT but my nan had a will. Well 2. First one was her house was to be left to my aunt. 2nd was a handwritten will updated to add her insurance policy which was to be paid to my mom, me and 2 brothers 50k each. Nan died, was purposely told the wrong date of the funeral to make sure I never turned up. Never saw a penny of my money. At the time I was really hard up financially as well and these people wondered why I had stopped speaking to them years before. Probably because I could see what they were all about. Aunt split proceeds of house between her and 2 cousins. Ones now riddled in disease and the other is paying her fellas child support to another woman so who had the last laugh really dickheads.
Just back from an absolutely excruciating night out with my out-laws for M-O-L’s birthday. Went to a 5 star hotel for a meal - she books the same place every time and every time spends the whole evening complaining about the food/service etc - then hands over the thick end of £400 for a meal/wine…(I’m lucky to earn that in a fortnight at my job - it’s small change to her)
When we arrived she was already kicking off with the manager because he’d put her at a different table to normal (she hadn’t stipulated, they should have read her mind apparently) so they switched us, even though they were already busy.
Food was all wrong, her main course didn’t arrive, and fair enough to complain about that, but we had crocodile tears and “it’s my birthday ruined” etc. My sister in law just got absolutely tit faced and started causing havoc, shouting at the waiters etc. she’d drunk three double g&ts a bottle of wine and two cocktails by the end of the evening.
I couldn’t eat anything I felt so stressed. Just sat there wanting to run away. In the end she complained so vocally the manager gave her 50% off the bill. I had my coat on and was half way up the car park before everyone had said goodbye.
I don’t fit in, in these posh restaurants. And even though some of the evening was the staff’s fault, I felt so bad for them listening to this idiot bunch of ungrateful middle class twats being nasty to them. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore.
When we arrived she was already kicking off with the manager because he’d put her at a different table to normal (she hadn’t stipulated, they should have read her mind apparently) so they switched us, even though they were already busy.
Food was all wrong, her main course didn’t arrive, and fair enough to complain about that, but we had crocodile tears and “it’s my birthday ruined” etc. My sister in law just got absolutely tit faced and started causing havoc, shouting at the waiters etc. she’d drunk three double g&ts a bottle of wine and two cocktails by the end of the evening.
I couldn’t eat anything I felt so stressed. Just sat there wanting to run away. In the end she complained so vocally the manager gave her 50% off the bill. I had my coat on and was half way up the car park before everyone had said goodbye.
I don’t fit in, in these posh restaurants. And even though some of the evening was the staff’s fault, I felt so bad for them listening to this idiot bunch of ungrateful middle class twats being nasty to them. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore.
Poor staff members being treated like that, I’d have loudly apologised for everyone’s behaviour and walked out. So sorry you had a crap night.
this is exactly my step mil! I’ve withdrawn after offering to pop round or invite her to do something and getting knocked back each time bcos she’s “not feeling up to it”, acting downtrodden then finding out she’s already made plans and gone out for lunch
Don't bother with the old bat in future!! I am so glad I don't have mothers-in-law any longerthis is exactly my step mil! I’ve withdrawn after offering to pop round or invite her to do something and getting knocked back each time bcos she’s “not feeling up to it”, acting downtrodden then finding out she’s already made plans and gone out for lunch
I'm absolutely sick of both of my future inlaws.
Partner moved back in with them when he and his children's mother separated, we've now got a place of our own and haven't been allowed to take a lot of the children's toys, books and games. Their new room looks bare. I've been kicked off at as certain toys they bought had ended up in my home and we aren't even allowed to take the children's plates and bowls. All cheap enough to replace but why should we?
Second to this fil clearly has a huge issue with me, he makes digs about me being controlling (I'm definitely not but my partner would forget his own head if it wasn't attached at the neck) and when he helped us move we'd discussed forming a chain to get boxes in, I said this to him and he said 'everyone needs to just grab a box and help including you' like I planned on sitting on my arse
Partner moved back in with them when he and his children's mother separated, we've now got a place of our own and haven't been allowed to take a lot of the children's toys, books and games. Their new room looks bare. I've been kicked off at as certain toys they bought had ended up in my home and we aren't even allowed to take the children's plates and bowls. All cheap enough to replace but why should we?
Second to this fil clearly has a huge issue with me, he makes digs about me being controlling (I'm definitely not but my partner would forget his own head if it wasn't attached at the neck) and when he helped us move we'd discussed forming a chain to get boxes in, I said this to him and he said 'everyone needs to just grab a box and help including you' like I planned on sitting on my arse
MIL is surpassing herself recently; we have a 10 year old niece who is autistic and splits her time between my BIL and his ex. When she was very young things between her parents wasn’t good so my MIL was the go between however it soon transpired that she was essentially playing one off against the other so they cut her out and now directly deal with each other (which makes so much more sense). Anyway since then my MIL has been awful to my niece- belittles her, blames her for everything and quite frankly bullies her. As a result my BIL (understandably) rarely takes my niece to see my MIL. However yesterday we all happened to be there together as my niece is turning 11 today so we had a party- MIL was so vile to her that my boyfriend turned to her and said that if she spoke to my niece in that way again she wouldn’t have contact with either of our two. As she does every time MIL turned on the tears, screaming and shouting that she raised all 6 of her boys on her own and how dare they accuse her of doing things she isn’t doing and they don’t appreciate her it is beyond ridiculous. I’m very close to my niece and make sure to refute everything MIL says to her, I praise her and spend as much time with her as possible but it’s clear of course that MIL’s actions are affecting her. Sorry for the rant it’s just been all I can think of all day. I just don’t know how to deal with it as MIL is so combative when called out on her behaviour- the screaming and crying is something I’d expect from my 2yo not a 65yo
it is beyond ridiculous. I’m very close to my niece and make sure to refute everything MIL says to her, I praise her and spend as much time with her as possible but it’s clear of course that MIL’s actions are affecting her. Sorry for the rant it’s just been all I can think of all day. I just don’t know how to deal with it as MIL is so combative when called out on her behaviour- the screaming and crying is something I’d expect from my 2yo not a 65yo Oh my! That is dreadful. How can she treat her own grandchild that way? I would cut contact if I were her parents. 11 is a difficult enough age as it is.MIL is surpassing herself recently; we have a 10 year old niece who is autistic and splits her time between my BIL and his ex. When she was very young things between her parents wasn’t good so my MIL was the go between however it soon transpired that she was essentially playing one off against the other so they cut her out and now directly deal with each other (which makes so much more sense). Anyway since then my MIL has been awful to my niece- belittles her, blames her for everything and quite frankly bullies her. As a result my BIL (understandably) rarely takes my niece to see my MIL. However yesterday we all happened to be there together as my niece is turning 11 today so we had a party- MIL was so vile to her that my boyfriend turned to her and said that if she spoke to my niece in that way again she wouldn’t have contact with either of our two. As she does every time MIL turned on the tears, screaming and shouting that she raised all 6 of her boys on her own and how dare they accuse her of doing things she isn’t doing and they don’t appreciate her
It’s truly awful and only getting worse. My BIL is very low contact and we are going to do the same but make sure we are at MILs for extra support if our niece does go there.
How awful for your niece, disgusting behaviour fromMIL is surpassing herself recently; we have a 10 year old niece who is autistic and splits her time between my BIL and his ex. When she was very young things between her parents wasn’t good so my MIL was the go between however it soon transpired that she was essentially playing one off against the other so they cut her out and now directly deal with each other (which makes so much more sense). Anyway since then my MIL has been awful to my niece- belittles her, blames her for everything and quite frankly bullies her. As a result my BIL (understandably) rarely takes my niece to see my MIL. However yesterday we all happened to be there together as my niece is turning 11 today so we had a party- MIL was so vile to her that my boyfriend turned to her and said that if she spoke to my niece in that way again she wouldn’t have contact with either of our two. As she does every time MIL turned on the tears, screaming and shouting that she raised all 6 of her boys on her own and how dare they accuse her of doing things she isn’t doing and they don’t appreciate her
Any adult let alone a grandmother.
What a vile witch! So glad your niece has support around her. I'm glad everyone is seeing your MIL true colours, heart breaks for that poor child.MIL is surpassing herself recently; we have a 10 year old niece who is autistic and splits her time between my BIL and his ex. When she was very young things between her parents wasn’t good so my MIL was the go between however it soon transpired that she was essentially playing one off against the other so they cut her out and now directly deal with each other (which makes so much more sense). Anyway since then my MIL has been awful to my niece- belittles her, blames her for everything and quite frankly bullies her. As a result my BIL (understandably) rarely takes my niece to see my MIL. However yesterday we all happened to be there together as my niece is turning 11 today so we had a party- MIL was so vile to her that my boyfriend turned to her and said that if she spoke to my niece in that way again she wouldn’t have contact with either of our two. As she does every time MIL turned on the tears, screaming and shouting that she raised all 6 of her boys on her own and how dare they accuse her of doing things she isn’t doing and they don’t appreciate her
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