TBH I wouldn't even inflict the old boot on the girl - I'd stop going to see her FULLSTOP and see how she likes that, irrespective of her tears and tantrums!!
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Finding out our baby is a boy for sure in a few weeks. I just know that lot will seethe. Oh well stay mad. 
My mil bought my son who has dairy, egg, soy & gluten allergy a dairy milk Easter egg with the comment “I wasn’t sure if you weren’t still giving him dairy”- so surely buy a dairy free one?
And why would that have changed? For context my son is only 11 months and 2 months ago he was still dairy free (like every other under 1 in the country until starting the milk ladder). She’s a cheap skate so I know she didn’t want to spend an extra £2/3 on a dairy free egg for him.
And she continues to ignore me at every get together / visit she makes.
However tonight my OH has finally asked what her issue is.
She has a victim mentality and even turned it around on my OH when we spoke about abuse he suffered as a child. She is THAT kind of woman.
And why would that have changed? For context my son is only 11 months and 2 months ago he was still dairy free (like every other under 1 in the country until starting the milk ladder). She’s a cheap skate so I know she didn’t want to spend an extra £2/3 on a dairy free egg for him.
And she continues to ignore me at every get together / visit she makes.
However tonight my OH has finally asked what her issue is.
She has a victim mentality and even turned it around on my OH when we spoke about abuse he suffered as a child. She is THAT kind of woman.
I haven't got much advice for you, but all I can say is I feel you. My MIL I'd very similar to yours. In the end I did cut her off. But I just want to say to keep smiling, keep your boundaries and don't let her get you down. She's not worth it. Sending you love xxx
This didn’t age well @Lucyxxxx 🩷🩷🩷🩷Finding out our baby is a boy for sure in a few weeks. I just know that lot will seethe. Oh well stay mad.
Thank you
It’s really hard isn’t it. I get upset before, during and after every visit she makes because I find it so hard being around her. And last night she told my OH that she doesn’t have anything against me and said I was the one with the issue- of course! Really appreciate this message, she won’t be seeing much of me or my son moving forward xx
Haha I know! They are all still non the wiser. Fellas actually now enjoying keeping it a secret with me. I know she is gonna hit the roof when she finds out her baby boy has kept this a secret from her.
You have done so well to keep it from them this long! My MIL didn’t even know the youngest was born until she was a few months old, then got the hump no one had told her. I said we have 4 other children you don’t bother with why would this one be any different?!Haha I know! They are all still non the wiser. Fellas actually now enjoying keeping it a secret with me. I know she is gonna hit the roof when she finds out her baby boy has kept this a secret from her.
I could have written this myself. Of course its all you!... I honestly will never understand these women,it's like their dislike for us is greater than their love for their son and grandchild.Thank you
Really appreciate this message, she won’t be seeing much of me or my son moving forward xx
The last thing I said to my mil was to not come round the house anymore because it makes me feel anxious and she claims she feels unwelcome....so it's a win win situation if she doesn't come round! Iv not seen her since.
Stick to your guns, you're doing so well by the sounds of it. Iv said before on here my MIL is making me determined to never be like that with whoever my son ends up with. Tell your OH if she can't respect you and speak to you in your own home it's time for her not to visit, jts not exactly showing any respect in front of your son.
Lots of love xx
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Serves her right! Stupid cow xxHaha I know! They are all still non the wiser. Fellas actually now enjoying keeping it a secret with me. I know she is gonna hit the roof when she finds out her baby boy has kept this a secret from her.
Exactly I've said this as well. Nearly half way through now. Plus I wouldn't want to them to spend months worrying over 'DNA doubts'. Does make us giggle the brothers bird thinks she is pregnant with the only girl grandchild after all these boys. Mwahahahaha. Enjoy it while it lasts.
This is what I will never understand, even if I wasn’t the biggest fan of my son’s future partner I wouldn’t let on? I’d want her to feel at home with us regardless! I’ve had my own family treat me like tit since my son arrived and some days are really hard but working towards putting it all behind me. I wouldn’t treat my worst enemy how my mil & family have treated me this year.
I said that today and he said that’s fine, he agrees completely with me thankfully! Her other sons and partners are treated like
too so makes me feel less targeted but still crap! xx
I’m glad I found these threads, I’m newly married, just moved country to be with my husband and his mother is smothering, she drives me crazy, we’ve been together 6 years and she never pronounces my name correctly even though I’ve been correcting her for 6 years. I often joke with my own mum and friends that she still wants my husband to be attached to her breast! She made out she had financial hardship and was due to be homeless so she moved in with my husband prior to my move. Turns out she’s been claiming her retirement early and was never in any type of hardship. Everyone thinks she’s so nice and sweet but she’s a nightmare to live with, never tidies up after herself, leaves the kitchen a mess, will pick through my husbands washing to wash his clothes, will call whenever we go out to see where we are or what we are doing, she will call to find out when he’s going to be home from work so she can have dinner ready for him. Insists on letting me regularly know that her sons are her life and their HER boys. The living situation puts a huge strain on mine and my husbands relationship and this is definitely not something I originally agreed to. If incest was legal she would definitely take my place as his wife. Apologies for paragraph but she is suffocating and this is only the surface level stuff.
My awful ex-MiL Mk1 was just like that with her little sunbeam.
He was quite "famous" in his field at the time and as such would regularly be at events where he'd be given gifts for his illustrious presence like crystal glasses, presentation items & such like - he however always gave them to Mummy even when we were married!!! It did piss me off no end because he never even thought nor considered that perhaps I might have liked at least a few of the things for Our Home - no everything went to his Mummy who would bill & coo over the generosity of her little treasure.
God how I hated her with a deep venom for many years!
MiL Mk2 was the complete opposite; I think she actually despised her son - her only child - she even blamed him for his father leaving her for someone else even though he'd left home five years earlier aged 16 to get away from the pair of 'em! It was still his fault and remained so until the old dragon died but quite how her son managed to get his father to run-off with another old bag remains a mystery to this day
I have no inlaws any more thank God - they're all long gone and bloody good riddance to them - but I have made a point to NEVER behave as they had towards my own DiLs. I have three lovely DiLs and for that I am grateful
He was quite "famous" in his field at the time and as such would regularly be at events where he'd be given gifts for his illustrious presence like crystal glasses, presentation items & such like - he however always gave them to Mummy even when we were married!!! It did piss me off no end because he never even thought nor considered that perhaps I might have liked at least a few of the things for Our Home - no everything went to his Mummy who would bill & coo over the generosity of her little treasure.
God how I hated her with a deep venom for many years!MiL Mk2 was the complete opposite; I think she actually despised her son - her only child - she even blamed him for his father leaving her for someone else even though he'd left home five years earlier aged 16 to get away from the pair of 'em! It was still his fault and remained so until the old dragon died but quite how her son managed to get his father to run-off with another old bag remains a mystery to this day
I have no inlaws any more thank God - they're all long gone and bloody good riddance to them - but I have made a point to NEVER behave as they had towards my own DiLs. I have three lovely DiLs and for that I am grateful
That sounds hard going. What's his take on things? if he agrees then you can have a goal of moving her out but if he takes her side then you'll have to address it or it embolden her. Plus it would get worse if you had kids. How old is she?
In all honesty, I would consider leaving. She has her feet firmly under the table and positioned herself in the home before you got there. Her mispronouncing your name is a power play to show you that she doesn't see you as important in any way.
Unless your husband is completely on your side, this will never improve. Even if you don't leave, things cannot continue as they are.
There are many videos on the internet instructing people on how to pronounce names correctly. Why not send her a link to your name, or have a sarcastic t-shirt made?In all honesty, I would consider leaving. She has her feet firmly under the table and positioned herself in the home before you got there. Her mispronouncing your name is a power play to show you that she doesn't see you as important in any way.
Unless your husband is completely on your side, this will never improve. Even if you don't leave, things cannot continue as they are.
You need to start calling her “Mommy dearest” and smiling sweetly as you say it.
As in the film about a horrible controlling mother
Why not get her name wrong on purpose? Tit for tat
Yes!
Wait until her birthday, present her with a beautiful cake, but spell her name incorrectly.
He agrees we need to have our own space and that she is overbearing but I think he’s so used to it he doesn’t always see the wrong in her ways. He has also addressed the name thing with her but that seems to have fallen on deaf ears. She’s 62, I agree about the child element we don’t have any kids at the moment but it definitely has me questioning if I can put up with for the rest of her life.
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I agree with you, I am questioning how much longer I can put up with this. Shame all mother in laws don’t want to mother from a distanceIn all honesty, I would consider leaving. She has her feet firmly under the table and positioned herself in the home before you got there. Her mispronouncing your name is a power play to show you that she doesn't see you as important in any way.
Unless your husband is completely on your side, this will never improve. Even if you don't leave, things cannot continue as they are.
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She wanted me to call her mom (they’re American) and I have not honoured that, I either avoid calling her anything or by her name
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