Mother in law experiences #3

[Crybaby Tania]

Don't worry my dears, one day these awful woman will be your late mother-in-laws.
I have a late mother-in-law buried in our local graveyard. I often visit her grave when walking my dog. He likes to cock his leg up her gravestone, and he never even knew her.

 

[DanDanTheIceCreamMan]

I haven't spoken to my MIL for over 20 years, and yet still manages to push my buttons through my husband (who is himself very low contact).

I have many stories but the one that tends to grab people's attention is when she pretended to be my late mum when I was in labour. My first interaction with the outside world after giving birth was a midwife sticking her head through the door to tell me my mother was on the phone (she died a year beforehand), MIL had said she was my mum to get info out of the staff (pretty much worked too).

 

[catlady29]

Oh boy I could write a book on my mother inlaw, and I suspect that I'll be coming back to this thread again and again with my memories over the years cos there's a lot, about 12 years worth.
So I'll start with a little about her, and I'll say this you'll prob all find the things completely mental, but the Indian and Pakistani members of tattle will prob be like...omg, cos she is just everything the "typical" mother inlaw portrayal is. So there's the mil, fil died just after they moved to the UK. She has 4 sons (thus making her believe she is an actual god) she as per cultural norm, lives with the eldest son and his poor long suffering wife. I lived with them also with my husband for around 2 yrs, so there was at one point 9 of us in a 3 bed house. Hell on earth. I'll start with a few stories and keep adding on as the thread goes...
She stopped sleeping in her bed when we got married, mine and hubby bedroom was off a dining room, she got a fold out bed and slept directly outside our bedroom door for the first 4 months of marriage.
She is a MAJOR hypochondriac, she had my husband up all night massaging her and my sil fanning her with one of those paper fanning things.
She tried to breastfeed her grandchild?!?? My sils kid.
This is the one thing I've never forgiven my husband for...I was in labour, off my face on gas and morphine, he brought his mother into the delivery room....she sat and watched me give birth without my consent. I was so badly affected by that moment that my other 2 kids I refused any pain relief as I wanted my full faculties about me.
She was disappointed with the gender of my first and tried to force me to eat a peacock feather in order to change the gender?!?!?!
One time my kid was constipated..around 3 months old...my mil took her from me and I was so stupid I thought she's gonna do something to help, she got a cotton ball and dipped it in olive oil, took my daughters nappy off, I thought ok never seen this before thinking to myself she's gonna like leave it in the nappy or wipe her bum with it...well right before my eyes she stuffed that oil soaked cotton ball up my daughters anus...I was screaming the house down hysterical like wtf I have just actually sat here and witnessed this and I was so devastated and just shocked and I dunno what else to even say, I was scared...my sil calmed me down, my daughter was thankfully OK, it passed with her next poo, but yea after that I never let her handle my daughter in that way again, no nappy changes, no alone time whatsoever...anyway I've triggered myself enough tonight and this isn't even the tip of the iceberg of this woman...the most selfish, greedy, disgusting mannered person I have ever met in my life, she is like immortal...all the DILS are just waiting for her to shuffle off this mortal coil, but its not happening and we feel like she'll prob outlive even us at this rate, she's already like 80yr old and as fit as a butchers dog yet would have you believe she's dying as she has been for the last 12 yrs..

 

[MacPishFlaps]

My husband passed away in 2018. I had always described my mil as a bit odd, machiavellian behaviour and she done some pretty shit stuff to me over the years but nothing could have prepared me for when my husband died. She knew of an insurance policy that my husband had as the mail would go to her house (address not updated). In 2021 she tried to cash it in, claiming that she had tried to find me but she presumed I was dead. This insurance policy was to the tune of 200k and was to be split between surviving spouse and any children. My husband had a son (my stepson) and she tried to defraud us both.

 

[Jyhy1110]

Iv previously ranted on here about my mother in laws, I have two as they are in a female relationship so I have two devils to deal with

anyway my partner has been stepdad to my child since he was 1 years old as my son’s biological father disappeared when I was 11 weeks pregnant to never be seen again, my son calls my partner daddy and he is now 5 and has never thought any different, my mother in laws decided to ask when me and my partner would be having a baby and I said not sure, he is a submariner in the navy and away a lot so can be difficult to plan things, his mother actually said ooh I’d get a REAL grandchild!

honestly I could of fucking smacked that bitch, I said hang on so ‘bob’ is a fake child then? Just a pretend grandchild? She tried to back track but she’s already said it and this was when my partner was deployed so couldn’t even tell him until 2 months later when he was back, he was shocked, I said I didn’t want her or her partner to ever let it slip he’s a stepdad not Bio dad as it’s a conversation for us when he’s older, and I wouldn’t want my child to know she’s referred to him as not a real grandchild!

cunt

also ‘bob’ is not my kids name

 

[petitspois]

I'm not married but engaged to my partner and his mum is super lovely the majority of the time.. she is never rude or anything directly but about a year ago things started going wrong for me.

I don't speak to my own mum and my family is just super fractured and I've never had a nice family home to go and visit or anything so it's really important to me to have a good relationship with my partners family.

Last August for my MIL birthday, I was working but my partner, MIL and my partners child from a previous relationship were not working/not at school so the plan was for my partner to cook and I would see them at my MIL house after work. The plan changed and they decided to go for a walk in the countryside and have a meal out there so I was supposed to meet them after work. At 5pm I got a call from my partner saying his daughter was hungry so they were going to eat without me. I was really upset as I had just got ready and had a new outfit but I kept it cool on the phone. He got back really late and I was really upset and he apologised and said they should have waited for me etc but then after that I noticed I wasn't really being invited to my MIL house with my partner anymore. Soon enough the narrative changed and I had acted selfishly and apparently ruined his mums birthday and this caused a lot of arguments. He said I wasn't allowed to be upset when it comes to his mum and daughter.

Fast forward to this year, my MIL invited my partner on holiday with his daughter for her birthday but I wasn't invited. I just felt so left out and upset and at first my partner said of course he wouldn't go without me and would speak to her but then once he had spoken to her he came back to me with all these excuses like "if my mum wants to go on holiday just with me and her granddaughter then she is entitled" and my personal favourite.... "my mum said if you came with us then all the attention would be on you".

I also really get the impression that my MIL doesn't want us to have children and is very happy with the set up she has with her one grandchild. We did speak about children a lot and names etc but then over the last few months, my partner has started saying he isn't sure about whether he wants any more children and it has really pulled the rug out from under my feet and left me very upset and confused.

After all the dramas about the birthday and the holiday and the arguments about whether or not to have children, things really came to a head and I went to have a chat with his mum about how upset I had been over the birthday and holiday situations. She did say she had selfishly wanted to spend time just with her son and granddaughter and said she had looked at two twin rooms so I could go but that it was too expensive. I said I would never have expected her to pay for me but she said she didn't think it would have been fair to ask me and my partner to pay for ourselves for her birthday. I mentioned the arguments about children, and she said she thought I am putting too much pressure on her son about having children and that it sounds like he is telling me clearly he never wants them so maybe I should think about deciding if I want to pursue that without him. My partner has never actually said "I don't want children". He has been very confusing saying he does want children BUT xyz.... and one time in the midst of all these discussions he came home from work and said he had been thinking he would really love to have a baby boy. So to me that was like music in my ears. And when I told my MIL he has never actually said NO and that he said he wanted a boy, her response to me was "and you have clung onto that when it was just a nice thought he had". I don't know. I just get the feeling that I have been often excluded from things and also my partner is such a mummy's boy that she can do and say no wrong and often it is at the detriment of my relationship with him.

Sweeping statement I know but I think you need to end your relationship. He is repeatedly putting his mother before you and then defending that stance. You are being frozen out. Imagine what it would be like if you had a child, would he take the baby to see his Mum and continue to leave you out or would they all favour the daughter and cast aside you and your baby. He sounds selfish and uncaring and you deserve better.

 

[Deeznutslol]

My dog is NOT aggressive he is REACTIVE but that's not the point of this.

My point as @Snowjoke has realised is that no one said ANYTHING! Just stopped coming round which is unfair to my step kids who miss having their cousins play at their home.

No biggy to me as I can't stand his family they're petty

Look, if your dog is biting people then he is badly trained and that’s on you. It’s irresponsible to keep a dog which bites people.
You seem very defensive of his poor behaviour, if this is how you’ve reacted to a stranger on the internet it pointing out, I can see why your SIL might’ve been hesitant about mentioning it to you?

 

[Hastaggifted]

My daughter, 7, wants her ears pierced. I've said she has to wait until she is 10 so she can look after them herself. Nothing against ear piecing younger kids, this is just my preference. She won't look after them, they aren't allowed to wear them during PE or her dance classes so I see no need for them. She told MIL that I won't let her have them done and MIL said "oh come out with Grandma for a day out in the New Year and we'll see about those ears"
I told her that if she got my daughters ears pierced without my consent she would never, ever see us again!

 

[Deeznutslol]

I'm not married but engaged to my partner and his mum is super lovely the majority of the time.. she is never rude or anything directly but about a year ago things started going wrong for me.

I don't speak to my own mum and my family is just super fractured and I've never had a nice family home to go and visit or anything so it's really important to me to have a good relationship with my partners family.

Last August for my MIL birthday, I was working but my partner, MIL and my partners child from a previous relationship were not working/not at school so the plan was for my partner to cook and I would see them at my MIL house after work. The plan changed and they decided to go for a walk in the countryside and have a meal out there so I was supposed to meet them after work. At 5pm I got a call from my partner saying his daughter was hungry so they were going to eat without me. I was really upset as I had just got ready and had a new outfit but I kept it cool on the phone. He got back really late and I was really upset and he apologised and said they should have waited for me etc but then after that I noticed I wasn't really being invited to my MIL house with my partner anymore. Soon enough the narrative changed and I had acted selfishly and apparently ruined his mums birthday and this caused a lot of arguments. He said I wasn't allowed to be upset when it comes to his mum and daughter.

Fast forward to this year, my MIL invited my partner on holiday with his daughter for her birthday but I wasn't invited. I just felt so left out and upset and at first my partner said of course he wouldn't go without me and would speak to her but then once he had spoken to her he came back to me with all these excuses like "if my mum wants to go on holiday just with me and her granddaughter then she is entitled" and my personal favourite.... "my mum said if you came with us then all the attention would be on you".

I also really get the impression that my MIL doesn't want us to have children and is very happy with the set up she has with her one grandchild. We did speak about children a lot and names etc but then over the last few months, my partner has started saying he isn't sure about whether he wants any more children and it has really pulled the rug out from under my feet and left me very upset and confused.

After all the dramas about the birthday and the holiday and the arguments about whether or not to have children, things really came to a head and I went to have a chat with his mum about how upset I had been over the birthday and holiday situations. She did say she had selfishly wanted to spend time just with her son and granddaughter and said she had looked at two twin rooms so I could go but that it was too expensive. I said I would never have expected her to pay for me but she said she didn't think it would have been fair to ask me and my partner to pay for ourselves for her birthday. I mentioned the arguments about children, and she said she thought I am putting too much pressure on her son about having children and that it sounds like he is telling me clearly he never wants them so maybe I should think about deciding if I want to pursue that without him. My partner has never actually said "I don't want children". He has been very confusing saying he does want children BUT xyz.... and one time in the midst of all these discussions he came home from work and said he had been thinking he would really love to have a baby boy. So to me that was like music in my ears. And when I told my MIL he has never actually said NO and that he said he wanted a boy, her response to me was "and you have clung onto that when it was just a nice thought he had". I don't know. I just get the feeling that I have been often excluded from things and also my partner is such a mummy's boy that she can do and say no wrong and often it is at the detriment of my relationship with him.

Both your MIL and your partner sound pretty horrible to be honest, you don’t deserve to be treated this way at all.

 

[Ro98]

And breathe. I think your MIL is a normal, loving, caring grand mother. Toys cost a lot of money and I think it's wonderful that she's kept some for your little one to play with. She's showing kindness and generosity that a lot of other mother's would be grateful for. If you throw them away it could upset her.

Taking a crying baby for a walk in its pram is also perfectly normal. The fresh air does them good, and the motion of the moving pram gently soothes them and sends them to sleep.

Be thankful that she's kind enough to include you when she organised events. Babies and children adapt quickly so if he misses his mid day sleep, he'll probably sleep better and longer during the night.

I don't know what brought on your negative thoughts about your MIL but she sounds like a loving grand mother to me. Have you spoken to your husband about your feelings? Would he feel the same way as you, or do you think he'd be astonished that you feel the way you do about his mother.

The best piece of advice is to be thankful she's around and let her cherish the time she has with your son. Remember she was looking after children before you were born. Things may have changed over the years, but what happened forty years ago never harmed babies. Children have a very special relationship with their grandparents, so let them enjoy being together while she's around and able.

As someone reading everyone’s posts I think this is off the mark quite a bit.
The poster stated the MIL makes arrangements for everyone to go to the posters house without asking her if it’s ok. That’s not normal. You don’t invite people to someone else’s house when the ‘host’ never agreed to it or knew about it.

And I’d be furious if a grandmother (whether it be my own mum or MIL) thought of herself as my child’s mother. That is odd & I would outright say so in front of her. She’s the grandma not the mother.

This MIL is showing extremely overbearing traits which go further than a grandmother bond.
My own mum with her grandchildren will ask my SIL if she wants her to take the baby for a bit, most the time she’ll say “yes please” but others “no I’m ok” - both of which my mum respect. She would never just take the baby out her arms without asking.
A normal MIL also wouldn’t just take hold of the baby the minute they visit and change the babies clothes claiming they’re dirty trying to embarrass the parents. That’s really rude.

The taking for a walk in the pram & toys I’d say is fine - as long as the mum (who gave birth to said child) is ok with it.
Doing something a mum doesn’t like to her own child is wrong on every level to me.
I know & have heard friends stories of plenty of grandmas & mums who were dreadful mothers so to me experience doesn’t mean they’re always right or that people should listen to them.
And from what the poster said the MIL never listens to anything she says, that’s extremely rude to ignore someone when they’re asking you not to do something

 

[catlady29]

Bloody hell, that is so shocking! My MIL is also from another culture, they just can't allow their precious sons to lead their own lives. When my daughter was born (first grandchild on both sides) MIL said "The next one will be a boy". I could also write a book, 40 years worth!

God its awful isn't it...this emphasis on boys. Well I've now got boys and it made 0 difference to the amount fucks she gives about any of her grandkids which is none. So on that, I'll share some more stuff:
Never ever bought a gift for any kid in the family, never spent time doing an activity, never taught them a song or baked or done anything remotely grandmotherly.
Her picture from a cctv still was circulated around local charity shops, she's banned from them all for harassing the staff and just generally making their day at work miserable by refusing to take no for an answer when hanging.
When she goes to the mosque, she takes a trolley with her and fills it with the free food they give out, just out of pure greed, she takes it all home and hoards it then it ends up going off.
She refused to spend eid with the family cos there was a car boot sale on...think going to a car boot on Xmas day and giving 0 fucks...its the same thing.
Someone on my street had toys dumped in their garden for weeks...out in all weather's and prob pissed on by dogs, cats,.foxes etc. She came to my house and starts pulling out toys from a carrier bag, the ones she clearly nicked from the neighbour garden on her way round.
She takes tupperware hidden in her bag when taken out to a buffet and sneaks food home, like proper big tubs full.
She stole someone's shoes from the mosque cos she liked them. Felt so bad to think of some poor woman left with no shoes to go home in..
God there's just so much more...it will take me months to let it all out

 

[Deeznutslol]

MIL has just revealed the reason BIL & soon to be SIL won't come to ours with their kids... Because of the dog. He's a bit bitely and unpredictable. The real kicker though no one has said for well over 2 YEARS (when they were last here and the dog went nuts oops) Real mature (cough spiteful cough) and just typical of his Mrs

That seems reasonable to me tbf? Dogs who bite are a danger to society and either need to be urgently trained or put to sleep. I wouldn’t be comfortable bringing children round a dog who bites either.

 

[Blonde123]

We’ve had a few months of calm since the last Monster in law meltdown only for her to kick off yesterday.

She was over at mine and I went to the loo. I forgot to hide my calendar and obviously she went over and had a good old nosey and read through to check what we’re doing. She’s pissed off that I am at my mums for Easter Sunday. For context, she is seeing us on Easter Monday.

Her: “blonde123, what are you doing for Easter Sunday?”, *light bulb moment, she’s seen the calendar*
me: “we’re popping over to my mums for a bit”,
Her, “well it would be nice to see you as well”,
Me, “Not on Sunday, but another day”.

She then proceeds to message my husband, “blonde123 didn’t seem keen to come to mine on Easter Sunday so perhaps you’d like to come over with the children by yourself”.
My husband, “I’m confused aren’t we seeing you the following day? We can’t Sunday as going to blonde123’s parents”.
her, “you trample on my feelings and should understand how important Easter Sunday is to me”.
Him, “that’s very strong and I don’t, we can’t come Sunday”

The emotional manipulation is strong with this one! *just to add* she isn’t super religious!

 

[maiamoo22]

I posted this on the pregnancy thread but since I found this feels like it's better suited.

A few weeks ago my partner went out for a meal with his family and when I came home from work they were all there at our house. As soon as I sit down I'm told "we have decided the name for the baby" and I'm sat there dumbfounded. I actually make an excuse to go out to the shop because I felt like the floor had gone from under me.

Later spoke to my partner saying wtf was that all about, why is your family deciding the name of our baby, and more importantly why are you agreeing to this? he says oh it's not like that they were just making suggestions.

Fast forward to a few days ago, at a memorial for a family member of his, we are both mentioned (this was written by his mum beforehand) and about the baby coming in december.

Then, I kid you not, the guy doing this service says that this relative had even picked the name of my baby as their dying wish.

Proceed to multiple people asking what the name of the baby is considering this relative had supposedly chosen it. My response was I haven't actually named MY baby yet, I will name them when they are here. Nothing is finalised.

I feel like this funeral was used as some weird way into guilting me into a baby name by his mum because it was such a public display of it too.

We got home and I said to him just to clarify, NOBODY else is naming our baby, or having final say. He understands how uncalled for it was to do that and I've asked him to speak to his parents to stop this now. I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life.

Then this week he's on the phone to sister, and she says on yeah Mum says she's coming to
hospital when she's born as she wants to be the first to meet her! I've literally said I want nobody at the hospital, and even days after that I want the time to myself and my partner.

Apparently this is a selfish choice and she's not just "my baby" she's an extension of her. I'm not telling anyone that I'm in there when it does happen because I do not need the stress or her trying to get first dibs on her like a weirdo

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Honest to God you think you’re the only one who can’t stand their mother out law, then you read this thread and realise you’re not alone by a long shot… 🫣 my heart goes out to you all on here.

Mine and my sister in law are both detestable for different reasons.

Mum in law very quietly domineering - you daren’t argue with her over anything.

Years ago, before I met my husband - she was desperately trying to fix him up with a young colleague of hers at work (they were both teachers) and she saw her as a lovely, pliable middle class lady with ‘good family’ ideal for Golden Balls (son). Anyway, this lady wasn’t interested at all… neither was son. She was bitterly disappointed. So fast forward 5 years or so, he meets me and we get married. I’m not what she has in mind, I’m from a working class northern town and my family - though by no means poor are less well to do. There’s a constant running ‘joke’ about me being a poor, working class scrote, mixing with middle class people like them…

On the night we announced our engagement - at a family meal, everyone but her congratulated us. Afterwards, she said “oh, so sorry I didn’t get up and hug you but I have a bad back”, and knew from that moment she’d be an arsehole.

So yeah, every opportunity she gets she brings up this other woman she wanted son to marry - 3 times on Xmas day, in front of me and him… everyone… in the end I said “there you go, married the wrong woman…” but he just laughed at me.

Proper narc, always needs to be centre of attention with all her various illnesses and ailments - bad back, always falling, bowel trouble, etc. she LOVES going to A&E every time she has a complaint - then straight on the phone to one of us wanting sympathy. The absolute glee in her voice, she loves it.

She absolutely insists on a weekly phone call - at weekend, but at a time that’s convenient for her, not us, and I get a WhatsApp ‘summons’ to do it . So I’ve started making hubby make the call and leaving the room or going off to do other things as I’m so tired of her. He works away a lot - and on the times he’s not here she still insists on it - I’ve never anything to say to her and she never asks how I am, how my work is going etc. it’s all her, their family and all the wonderful things they’re doing.

I know it’s really daft, got to speak to her and father in law in a bit and just dreading it. It’s nearly her birthday and she always wants to go out for a fancy meal at this horrible posh restaurant the family like - so she’s planning that at the moment. We always have the same shenanigans, she’ll book it - then complain and nitpick the menu, nitpick the staff - then happily hand over the best part of £400 for it… I’ve been looking at the menu already and I literally can’t find a single thing to eat on there. Husband knows I hate it, he won’t argue as I’m the odd one out.

I live a long way from my parents and rarely see them - gave up everything to be with my husband and there are honestly times I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m here anymore. I don’t fit in or belong and she just makes me feel downtrodden.


Sorry for the long rant. This is small fry compared to a lot of the stories.

 

[FlyingGirl4]

Not sure where to start, but here goes…

My baby is now a few months old but my MIL insisted on coming to stay the first weekend after he was born. She lives over 300 miles away (blessing or not?) and she stayed over in our spare bedroom on the Friday and Saturday night and left late on the Sunday.
I had an emergency csection the Friday before so my baby was barely a week old when she visited and I was still in a lot of pain, could barely walk, had alarms set on my phone all hours of the day to remind myself to take the painkillers, antibiotics and injections.
1. She brought ear plugs for her stay she also never offered to do a night feed/take him early in the morning so we could have some rest etc. She literally came for a break (her words not mine lol), yes I too did a double take when I heard her say “oh I’ll be coming to stay every month for a break to see little one”…
2. She kept making ignorant comments regarding breastfeeding and natural birth (she breastfed and had natural births) which made me feel like shit (on top of already feeling like shit) because I was formula feeding and had a csection.
3. We’d gone for a drive, which turned out to be a big mistake as the baby had a screaming fit in the back of the car. Took him home to change him as he was sweating… got a clean (albeit creased) white baby grow to which she asked if it was clean. I said yes. MIL then proceeded to pick the baby grow up and sniff it in front of me… as if I’d put a dirty baby grow on my newborn baby… to be honest this was the point where I lost respect for her. She’s a family liaison officer so she’s used to supervising people with their kids… she needs to realise I’m not one of her clients lol.
4. Next day (Saturday) I had come downstairs to her cuddling my baby, just literally sat there cuddling him saying how content he is (yes love don’t suppose you want to cuddle him at 3am instead?) when I then took the baby off to feed he had this massive rash down the side of his face. She then proceeded to tell me she wears her perfume on her clothes rather than her skin as she gets an allergic reaction to it… who the hell wears perfume to cuddle a newborn baby?!?
4.Fast forward to Sunday, as we’d had a busy day on Saturday I spent most of the morning in bed (eating my stupidly massive stash of chocolate). Went downstairs at half 11 to MIL rolling her eyes at me as we were only now having breakfast (my partner cooked everyone - his brother was here too at this point - bacon sandwiches). I then sat opposite her feeding my baby to her complaining to me that she was tired as she’d been awake since 6am and couldn’t get back to sleep and had a very long drive home that day. Poor soul. You can imagine how much I cared whilst sat there sleep deprived.
5. She then complained that she was hungry again. Her other son my BIL offered to make her a sandwich. She stuck her nose up at this. We then ended up in a pub having a carvery (I had something small as we hadn’t long had breakfast). They all sat eating their dinners, I ate mine one handed as the baby was really unsettled. After she’d finished her dinner (I had already finished mine at this point) she asked “would you like me to hold the baby so you can finish your dinner?” I just looked at her stupid, said no and continued to enjoy my newborn cuddles.

Tbh, if I could have that previous time back with my son I would tell her to stay in a hotel, bring her own dinner (if she wanted any) and I would have basically locked myself and my newborn in the bedroom for the foreseeable.
I haven’t been coping great in all honesty. My partner and I have been arguing to the point where we’ve almost separated several times. There have also been times where I’ve stayed upstairs for a few hours break on the weekends whilst my partner looks after our son downstairs and I just simply haven’t wanted to go back down. We’re going to visit her this weekend. There’s more, but I’ll leave it for another post on another day. Thank you for taking the time to read x

 

[Esmerelda18]

I gave birth a few weeks ago and if I'm being honest my mother in law has ruined my whole pregnancy.
Only in my 37th week of pregnancy did her siblings find out I was pregnant at a family event and this was because they physically saw me. They even asked her why did she not tell them I was pregnant to which she never replied.
When I told her I was pregnant she asked me was I sure her son was happy about it. She also asked me not to announce my pregnancy to anyone for a couple of weeks as she needed to get used to the idea of a baby. I was also selfish because I never told her of my pregnancy before I passed 12 weeks. (I announced my pregnancy anyways and because of that I'm an inconsiderate bitch)
She never asked how I was or baby during the pregnancy, she's never called or text me to ask how I have been even though I was incredibly sick.
Myself and my partner are both in our 30s so it's not like we are super young having our first child.

Sooo, my baby was born and nearly died. He spent a few weeks in the NICU. After we got home she was mad to see him for a while and was constantly calling my partner wanting to see him. She made a few remarks about the way we cared for him(typical mother in law stuff). I wasn't too offended because her opinion doesn't matter to me as I know she is crazy. But she has showed her true colours. At a family event she took my child out of my partners arms and started passing him around to everyone. I took him back and on the way home myself and my partner spoke about it and he said he would talk to her.
He said very nicely, we don't want our son passed around with all the sickness especially RSV that is going around. Well she went crazy!! She came in roaring and shouting at me while I was feeding my baby. She kept saying 'you ask for a lot, you even made him not tell us you were pregnant!!!' My partner stood up for me and told her to get away from me, to stop abusing me and our son was in the room. She was saying awful crazy stuff and was bringing up daft shit. She started going mental at my husband saying he wasted so much of their money changing courses in college(he's graduated 8 years and is an engineer) that I have no education and arent using my degree(I have a bachelors, a masters and a postgrad) I started packing up all our stuff to leave and I heard her say to my partner "take her and IT out of my house" IT meaning our son, our little 2 month baby.

Safe to say mother in law will never see my baby again. She's a disgusting vile human being. Imagine calling your grandchild - IT.

She has shown her true colours and I'm only happy now that this is the nail in the coffin. She will never get to be around my baby ever again.


My partner is so deeply upset and embarrassed about what happened. This is the worst part about it all. I can't even tell him how upset I am about it because I want to support him. I feel sorry for my baby how am I meant to tell my baby their "grandmother" is a disgusting lunatic?

 

[Stepharnie]

Years ago my mil signed her house over to me and hubby, she had 2 new knees and decided she wanted a ground floor flat ( her house was massive) which we bought for her and rented out the house which covered the mortgage payment and left a little extra for modernising the flat. After 10 years of happily living in the flat we received a letter from a solicitor basically saying we'd forced her to sign the house over, forced her to live in the flat and she wanted the house back and £ 75, 0000, we went to court then mediation where we gave her the house and £2,000 she lived in the house a month before selling up and was given a council flat!!! Which she hates as it's upstairs she doesn't like the area and can't understand why her son of me won't have anything to do with her!!
Sorry for the long post and spelling mistakes

 

[Mollywobbles]

When I was pregnant my old fashioned family doctor told me to breastfeed if possible. “It’s good for you, it’s good for the baby and if you get visitors and want to avoid them you can retire to the bedroom to feed in privacy. And it means the MIL can’t take over giving the baby a bottle while you rustle up tea and biscuits for her”

 

[cowtastrophe]

Argh. I need to have a moan about Mil and Christmas.

Mil is obsessed with the idea of big family Christmases like she had when she was growing up and hankers after them every year. Husband is an only child and she was a single parent. They have a large extended family albeit not massively close these days. When he and I got together, she immediately demanded that we spend Christmas with her and it transpired that she expected us to spend every following Christmas with her too. I was like, no friggin' way and over the years it's evolved that we do one year with her, one year with my family and one year where we go away (we don't have children). When I asked what about my family, she said she thought they weren't as bothered by Christmas as her so they wouldn't care if they didn't see me (!).

Thanks to COVID, this arrangement has fallen down somewhat and I'm still trying to get it back on track. On our years going away or to my family, it's always a struggle to get my husband to discuss it with his mother and ensure she has something planned. She usually goes to a relative. He hates her being upset about it (which she always is, even though she knows the arrangement) and puts it off as long as possible. This year we're due to go away and I really wanted to take our new dog to a place in Scotland we've been to before and loved. I told him a couple of months ago that it was free and he needed to speak to his mother. Needless to say, he hasn't done it and I've gone to check tonight and the place is booked up.

It's partly my fault for not just reserving it but I'm so fucking sick of having this conversation every year. I actually hate Christmas now because I feel so stressed about it months in advance knowing he will leave it till the last minute and she will throw tantrums and cry about not having a 'family Christmas' and he will be upset and guilty. To make matters worse, she's fallen out with the relative she often goes to and they aren't speaking plus she can't drive at the moment. Her health has taken a downturn this year but she's still very active, goes out with friends, etc so very far from being a frail old lady stuck in bed.

She and I are civil but she's very hard work and we haven't had the best relationship in the past - basically, she thought he would live with her until she died then I came along and screwed that plan right up which took her a while to get over.

I don't know what else to get him to sort his shit out with her and not leave it till the last minute. I've cried, I've got angry, I've told him I will go away by myself. To be fair to him, he's an absolute diamond usually and I completely appreciate that he feels stuck in the middle but she won't be happy unless we spend every Christmas with her and I refuse to do that.

Anyway. Tl:dr, Christmas. ARGH.

This has resolved itself and not in the best way.

After yet another row with my husband about his still not discussing Christmas with Mil, I lost my shit a bit the other day and told him I wanted to know one way or the other today what was going to happen. I said that if she expected to spend it with us despite this being our year to go away (which she knows), I was going to book a meditation retreat and go away alone.

He had a discussion with her today and it turns out that she was in fact, expecting to spend Christmas with us. She said a friend had invited her but she didn’t want to go. The upshot is that my husband will spend Christmas with her and I will go away for three days.

I’m really upset, not because I haven’t got my own way, but because Mil apparently didn’t ask about our plans at all, she had just assumed that we would drop everything to appease her. It‘s also upsetting because my mum had a near fatal heart attack a couple of months ago (which Mil knows) and apparently she didn’t even ask if I wanted to see my parents at Christmas, it was just assumed that I would be with Mil. The whole thing has just left me feeling quite down.