Most Embarrassing Thing That’s Happened To You?

[wotdidijustwatch]

I'm going to share my least embarrassing stories, which still wake me up at night but nothing compared to what I have stored in my brain

1. One time, during orientation week at uni, this girl introduced herself. Her name was Violet (beautiful name) but in the noisy hall I heard it as 'violence.' I chuckled and said: "ok tell me your real name." She repeated her name. I said through chuckles: "NOBODY names their child that! What's your name?"

I don't know when the penny dropped, it was long after she had walked away.

That wasn't my last offence with people's names, unfortunately. I had a similar reaction to a Mexican man named Jaime, I heard it as 'hymen'.

I consciously decided that I would stop reacting to names afterwards. No matter what. I don't care if someone says: "I'm Vagina Moonrocket," I've trained myself to just say: "nice to meet you."

------------

2. I had detox tea a few hours before the end of my shift. If you've ever had one of those, you'll know exactly how stinky this story is... So I've put a spoiler warning on it. Don't read if you're eating.

Spoiler: Don't read while eating

At the end of a work shift, I had to stop to use the ladies before going home. I had already taken my coat and handbag out of my locker, so hung my very distinctive coat over the door.

I was alone so felt safe to let it all out, not expecting it to be that bad. I normally hold it in at work so I don't stink up the place, but sometimes when you have to go, you have to go. Sorry the over share, this one was particularly very stinky.

Thought I'd be in and out undetected, as nobody is in the bathrooms during shift change. They are either entering/leaving the building, or in the locker rooms (not attached to the bathrooms). Two supervisors walked in. I knew them by their voices. One said it was just too stinky, she couldn't breathe, and left. The other one, my direct supervisor, used the toilet right next to me (I had, of course, picked the middle stall ).

It's one of those toilet cubicle designs with the open bottom, so you can see each others shoes. I knew her by her voice and shoes. She definitely knew it was me by my coat and shoes, no mistake

If I wasn't already embarrassed, I decided the best thing in the moment was to be still and not make a sound, thinking I would wait it out until she left. She was obviously thinking the same thing, because after an awkward long while I noticed I couldn't hear her moving, peeing, or making any sound. I had to give in, finish what I started, and hurry out of there.

Couldn't look at her for a long time afterwards. If I was a millionaire, I never would have shown up to work again after that.

at the spoiler!
No shame, toilets are there for a reason.
A colleague came to me once and whispered she had just heard so and so taking a huge dump and it stunk. I asked her, loudly, "why are you listening to people shitting Linda?" She went bright red

 

[Web30]

One that comes to mind was throwing up on a bus on the way home from school. I wasn't feeling well at all, my friend waved a fishy smelling sandwich in my face, told him to stop...next thing I had thrown up, with all our friends thier...

We got off at the next stop and didn't tell the driver about it

 

[Curly]

I can’t breathe reading this thread

I have also realised my mind is in the gutter as I find the toilet stories hilarious

 

[Web30]

I can’t breathe reading this thread

I have also realised my mind is in the gutter as I find the toilet stories hilarious

I actually started coughing last night I had laughed so much.

 

[Mulholland Drive]

If I'm late for work I dress in a very panicky and haphazard way!

Quite a few times I have gone to work in mismatched shoes; or just one stocking; or my top not buttoned correctly; bra inside out; skirt zip at half-mast with the back of my top sticking out, or knickers on show; or only doing one eye with liner, one lip lipsticked; or worst of all, leaving a comb/brush in my hair all the way into the office (fortunately I drove)

I am incredibly dopey when rushed

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

My top 2: I was browsing in 'Athena' in Guildford many years ago (showing my age) and I found a poster I liked. There was a guy standing in front of the one I wanted to pick so I politely said 'excuse me' a couple of times. He didn't shift then moved slightly so I bent down to grab the poster, just as he moved back so my head was temporarily nestled in his crotch.

I am very fair skinned and got sick of being teased at school when I got back from holiday abroad as pale as I was when I left. So I decided to buy some Ambre Solaire. Got home and we'd had a power cut so I had a candlelit bath and decided to put some fake tan on my face. The power cut lasted until the morning so before I went to school I put some more fake tan on in semi darkness. People were increasingly staring and laughing as I made my way to school, mainly because I was the colour of an oompah-loompah, bright orange. I was mortified.

 

[CLittleworld]

God I have laughed so much reading this here are a few of mine

I was 18 when I had my daughter and my mum was superstitious about having her pram in the house before she was born, when we went to use-it for the first time it was to go into the registry office to register her birth.
Me nor her dad had worked out how to use it sat on a bench outside to feed her and she went rolling down the main high street in our town I only realised when I looked up from the changing bag she was at the bottom of the street surrounded by people !

when said (clearly poorly looked after) child was about 8 I took her to get a tooth taken out she was very brave stood up to leave I fainted, the dentist rang my mum and she arrived thinking it was my daughter who needed help nope me on the floor

I have severe hayfever but didn’t know that’s what it was in school I sneezed once n it was a literal explosion in my music class one girl made a picture of me on paint and printed them off with green snot all over my face (she also made a we hate Carly club for no reason n used the picture as little cards for her members very very strange)I wasn’t bothered at the time but looking back it was very mean!

when I was training for my current job we had to setup systems to work from home I had to do 3 calls with the tech team and book a home visit all because I was pressing the right instead of the left is somehow managed to change the settings and couldn’t get it to go back I literally cried in frustration I now avoid the guy who finally told me how to do it like the plague! He was very kind but I must have drove him mad !

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

He had changed back into his normal shoes so god knows where I was when this was happening. I was a bit tipsy but he didn’t even tell me. I even got on a bus home without realising

Your bowling shoe story has totally finished me off. I’m sat in bed cackling like a mad woman with literal tears streaming down my face

This thread is such a tonic. Been feeling so depressed today didn’t think anything could make me laugh but this thread did the trick.

One of the first embarrassing moments I remember was when I was about 7 and I went on holiday to a caravan park with my grandparents. I was outside messing about around our van as kids do, the door was left open. Suddenly I see a caravan door slam shut, and in my haste I panic and start banging on the door shouting to be let in. When a woman who was not my nan answered the door I realised that I had made a mistake and it was next door who had shut their caravan door and I had wandered round the other side of my own caravan without paying attention. All I could say was “oops, sorry wrong caravan!” And then I ran off back to my own caravan to hide from them for the rest of the holiday. It’s been over 20 years and I still cringe.

Struggling to think of more but I’m sure I have lots! There was that time i stopped mid convo to throw up in an empty glass near the end of a party and then just carried on the conversation with the person I was talking to as if nothing had happened.

 

[SkinkaareFan]

One of mine is awful and I frequently think about it and my insides shrivel up and I want to die

I was 11/22 and at an ATM with my dad, my younger brother and sister were there too and was a sunny day. I turned round and the sun was in my eye and I thought my brother was being a little tit and purposely standing in my way to annoy me so I shouted "MOVE" pretty loudly and instantly I saw my brother, sister and dad had walked off and I had shouted at some poor little boy I felt absolutely awful, apologised a million times and tried to explain while going bright red and trying to fight back tears. I think about that and chastise myself often.

Another was when we were on holiday when I was 13/14 and wearing a bikini for the first time. Splashing in the pool, having a great time with my 2 brothers and sister. Until I got out and realised my bleeping DD tit had been hanging out one side of the bikini top for god knows how long.

When I first met my husband he lived in England so I was visiting him after meeting for the first time. A few days after we met, him and his mum were at work and his sister at school and I really had to poo, so seeing as the house was empty I took my chance. Only it was disgustingly huge (I'm sorry for tmi) as I hadn't been for a week and it blocked the loo and I spent the rest of the day trying to unblock it but nothing worked. Luckily my husband got home first and when his mum realised it was blocked he got the blame. I still haven't owned up to it and it will haunt me for the rest of my life.

 

[HelloStereo]

Oh yeah, one time I stayed at a friend's house, must have been about 12 or so. We were sitting on her bed and my stomach started to feel funny. I needed a poo but I was at the age where I felt weird pooing anywhere other than at home. I figured I was going home in a few hours so could hold on.

About twenty minutes later another wave came and I realised I couldn't hold it. I remember standing up and I still didn't want to use the loo, so I walked over to where my friend was sitting going "help me" as I started letting out loads of little farts. She just recoiled and went "ew, no".

I don't remember what happened after, I think I just went to the toilet in the end. I'm not actually that embarrassed about it, but looking back it was so funny that I was slowly walking towards her farting and begging her to help me as I needed a poo.

 

[Curiositycandy]

It all went quiet for a moment because I genuinely thought I’d said hog roast and then my boss said “I think you mean hog roast... we only do spit roasts when we hit target” and we all just cracked up for ages whilst I went a lovely shade of crimson!! They never let me forget it

I am howling I went red for you

 

[Jdottt13]

Oh yeah, one time I stayed at a friend's house, must have been about 12 or so. We were sitting on her bed and my stomach started to feel funny. I needed a poo but I was at the age where I felt weird pooing anywhere other than at home. I figured I was going home in a few hours so could hold on.

About twenty minutes later another wave came and I realised I couldn't hold it. I remember standing up and I still didn't want to use the loo, so I walked over to where my friend was sitting going "help me" as I started letting out loads of little farts. She just recoiled and went "ew, no".

I don't remember what happened after, I think I just went to the toilet in the end. I'm not actually that embarrassed about it, but looking back it was so funny that I was slowly walking towards her farting and begging her to help me as I needed a poo.

This had me laughing until I couldn’t breathe surprised I haven’t woken my sleeping baby, this thread is amazing

 

[Curiositycandy]

I have laughed at these so much tonight so I will share mine...

My Mum, Gran and Auntie used to all go this award winning State of the art hairdressers and being 8 I was so in awe of all these ‘cool hairdressers’. One visit I’m sat in the waiting area and the receptionist is chatting too me and I threw my head back to laugh and managed to get it wedged in the state of the effing art rot iron flame affect high back chairs. My poor Gran had to come away from the back wash with her hair soaking (and half the Salon along with her) to unwedge my head - still mortified now and im in my 30s. I wonder if they think of me as the creepy kid who got stuck

On another occasion I went to a friend of a friends gig with her pals I didn’t know. My nerves got the better of me when the best looking guy out her group came up and introduced himself as Dave. My reply?

Hi I’m Dave

I’m a female and my name is NOT Dave, I’m still dying off as I type this

 

[SkinkaareFan]

another occasion I went to a friend of a friends gig with her pals I didn’t know. My nerves got the better of me when the best looking guy out her group came up and introduced himself as Dave. My reply?

Hi I’m Dave

I’m a female and my name is NOT Dave, I’m still dying off as I type this

What did he say? What happened next? Please tell me this started off your huge romantic love affair and are now married because this is a great meeting story even if embarrassing

 

[The Devils Arse]

When I was younger I didn't have my glasses on and thought I saw my dads car in the car park as he was coming to pick me up. Ran over like a lunatic, opened the door sat in and started moaning that it smelled and I didnt like the beaded seat covers he had put it. Then actually turned and saw it was this woman in the drivers seat, sitting there opened mouth. In a accusatory tone I said "you are not my dad" and hurried out the car. Was so mortified. Even worse was my dad had seen the whole incident from his car.

Thought I recognised my S-I-Ls brother in a shopping mall, so ran over and launched myself on him giving him a hug. Rabbiting on about how sweaty I was as I had just finished my gym class and needed to head the shops to get water and a snack. The poor lad looked a bit overwhelmed but I thought nothing of it. Im naturally a very shy person, but I was trying to be more outgoing and confident etc so kept engaging him in a rather one sided conversation Hugged him again and said I would see him later. Realised about a minute later that this bloke was not who I thought he was and was just a random man. Even worse i saw him coming towards me later on, he clocked me and ran off and HID!! That is the last time I try and be confident!!

 

[Dancing Dave]

I don't like anything scary, I'm jumpy by nature. Somehow my mates convinced me to go too one of those "haunted/zombie house" things. Our turn, we all went single file holding on to each others coats and we were going up these stairs and into this room all blacked out and I just knew deep down something was going to jump at me, so I pushed my friends and they all stumbled, someone of course jumped from the shadows cue chaos and yours truly falls heads over arse and my glasses came flying off couldn't see a thing in the dark, everyone searching with their phones eventually the staff (in the costumes) had to turn the lights on everywhere and stop everyone coming in too search for my glasses. Mortified. We never went back.

 

[CarrieW24]

When I was younger I didn't have my glasses on and thought I saw my dads car in the car park as he was coming to pick me up. Ran over like a lunatic, opened the door sat in and started moaning that it smelled and I didnt like the beaded seat covers he had put it. Then actually turned and saw it was this woman in the drivers seat, sitting there opened mouth. In a accusatory tone I said "you are not my dad" and hurried out the car. Was so mortified. Even worse was my dad had seen the whole incident from his car.

Thought I recognised my S-I-Ls brother in a shopping mall, so ran over and launched myself on him giving him a hug. Rabbiting on about how sweaty I was as I had just finished my gym class and needed to head the shops to get water and a snack. The poor lad looked a bit overwhelmed but I thought nothing of it. Im naturally a very shy person, but I was trying to be more outgoing and confident etc so kept engaging him in a rather one sided conversation Hugged him again and said I would see him later. Realised about a minute later that this bloke was not who I thought he was and was just a random man. Even worse i saw him coming towards me later on, he clocked me and ran off and HID!! That is the last time I try and be confident!!

These are the best two stories on here so far! I don't know which had me howling more!

 

[The Devils Arse]

These are the best two stories on here so far! I don't know which had me howling more!

It's a good thing I'm in a lockdown so can't go out at the moment!

 

[Curiositycandy]

What did he say? What happened next? Please tell me this started off your huge romantic love affair and are now married because this is a great meeting story even if embarrassing

He just looked at me and said ‘you’re names Dave’ Awkward as f Sorry no love stories were made when I made an arse of myself xx

 

[Sam Wood]

when I first got with my husband (8 years ago) I moved in to his mums with him and I gave her what I thought was an empty notebook that I’d had for years and not used. I was only 22 at the time and had gone through a slutty phase when I was 19 she rang me at work the week after I gave her the notebook howling with laughter. If written a list of people I had slept with, titled “people I’ve slept with” I was so embarrassed!

during this slutty phase I once slept with someone, I was naked and ran to the toilet in the middle of the night and fell over on the landing, literally fell half the way down the stairs. Woke the guys flipping mum up, she came out to me pissed up, naked stumbling around the landing. Safe to say I never saw him again