Most Embarrassing Thing That’s Happened To You?

[NomDeGuerre]

Fell off a stage at a provincial nightclub in a town I'd rather forget while dancing to Poison by Alice Cooper (where do you even start on that one).

Got so uproariously pissed on the night of my Year 11 leavers ball that I fell backwards out of our limo, a'la Edina Monsoon in the first episode of Ab Fab.

At a colleague's wedding a few years ago, I'd availed myself to the free bar a little too much and told my then-boss I wanted to jack in my career and move to the developing world to teach English. I have never once, even for a second, had that ambition before. Needless to say, I didn't give up my career (thank God).

At the same wedding said to a colleague's wife "have you seen that woman who's come dressed as Joseph & His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" (tbf, the jacket was very loud) and didn't realise, until it was much too late, that the woman I was speaking to had been the self-same Joseph Jacket botherer, and had simply removed it to dance.

 

[Dancing Dave]

Oh yeah, and I sometimes cycle in London. I had a helmet which made my hair really sweaty so I got a new one with more ventilation holes. For some reason at the traffic lights I decided it'd be a good idea to stick my finger in one of the ventilation holes and I got my finger stuck. The traffic lights turned green and cars were beeping at me to go but I didn't want to cycle off one handed and I had my finger stuck in my helmet. I had to bail and park my bike on the pavement whilst I unstuck my finger.

I just sent this into my family whatsapp group because I have been thinking about it all day and absolutely howling to myself.

 

[HelloStereo]

I just sent this into my family whatsapp group because I have been thinking about it all day and absolutely howling to myself.

I'm glad it made you laugh! I remember panicking so much when it happened but it must have looked absolutely ridiculous to motorists behind.

I thought of a few more as well. One time I was showering after working out at the gym. I usually put my phone / work out clothes in my locker and grab some clean pants and walk to the showers in a towel. When I came back from having the shower I tried to open my locker and the padlock got jammed. I had to walk across the gym floor and go up to reception in nothing but a skimpy towel and ask them to break into my locker.

I also used the toilets at a Starbucks and someone tried to open the door but obviously it was locked so they couldn't get in. It's like in most Starbucks where you just get a few single toilets that are for men and women and have disabled access and baby changing facilities etc. Anyway, the person who tried to get in walks off so I thought they were just going back to their seat to wait. Instead they got an employee who had a key to the toilet as they must not have realised it was occupied. They unlocked it and were greeted by me sitting on the toilet with my trousers at my ankles. I just said "but I locked the door". They apologised and closed it again, but that was so humiliating.

 

[Dancing Dave]

I'm glad it made you laugh! I remember panicking so much when it happened but it must have looked absolutely ridiculous to motorists behind.

"sincere" apologies for your misfortune being the source of my happiness today! I have so many embarrassing stories I'm just struggling to type them all up as I'm wincing at the shame.

 

[birdiefly246]

I'm glad it made you laugh! I remember panicking so much when it happened but it must have looked absolutely ridiculous to motorists behind.

I thought of a few more as well. One time I was showering after working out at the gym. I usually put my phone / work out clothes in my locker and grab some clean pants and walk to the showers in a towel. When I came back from having the shower I tried to open my locker and the padlock got jammed. I had to walk across the gym floor and go up to reception in nothing but a skimpy towel and ask them to break into my locker.

I also used the toilets at a Starbucks and someone tried to open the door but obviously it was locked so they couldn't get in. It's like in most Starbucks where you just get a few single toilets that are for men and women and have disabled access and baby changing facilities etc. Anyway, the person who tried to get in walks off so I thought they were just going back to their seat to wait. Instead they got an employee who had a key to the toilet as they must not have realised it was occupied. They unlocked it and were greeted by me sitting on the toilet with my trousers at my ankles. I just said "but I locked the door". They apologised and closed it again, but that was so humiliating.

I would have been absolutely fuming and probably kicked off in the middle of the starbucks I rarely lose my rag but that would have done my head in and I'm actually angry on your behalf. I probably would have embarrassed myself more calling them a twit in front of everyone in starbucks

 

[HelloStereo]

"sincere" apologies for your misfortune being the source of my happiness today! I have so many embarrassing stories I'm just struggling to type them all up as I'm wincing at the shame.

Haha I think if they make people laugh all the embarrassment at the time is worth it. Plus I think they're pretty funny now too . I hope they made your family laugh.

I would have been absolutely fuming and probably kicked off in the middle of the starbucks I rarely lose my rag but that would have done my head in and I'm actually angry on your behalf. I probably would have embarrassed myself more calling them a twit in front of everyone in starbucks

Haha I was a bit annoyed, like it was obviously locked because it was in use, why did they feel the need to get a master key and unlock it? Why couldn't the employee just tell the other customer that it was occupied and to wait her turn? I just didn't want to draw attention to the fact that they'd seen me sitting on the toilet so I didn't really say much apart from "but I locked it" . Shame, could have got a gift card or something out of that experience.

 

[birdiefly246]

Haha I think if they make people laugh all the embarrassment at the time is worth it. Plus I think they're pretty funny now too . I hope they made your family laugh.



Haha I was a bit annoyed, like it was obviously locked because it was in use, why did they feel the need to get a master key and unlock it? Why couldn't the employee just tell the other customer that it was occupied and to wait her turn? I just didn't want to draw attention to the fact that they'd seen me sitting on the toilet so I didn't really say much apart from "but I locked it" . Shame, could have got a gift card or something out of that experience.

Exactly! At least wait 5 minutes to see if someone comes out? Or do the common sense thing and ....knock the door? and ask?
Yeah that's fair enough to you tbf seen as someone just saw you on bog. "but I locked it" is a fair (and very dignified) response. I'd have been shouting "are you bleeping thick or what?" while wiping my vag, pulling my trousers up ready to confront said person for being beyond stupid.

I am aware that it sounds like i need anger managment as a result of this post but honestly i'm actually really calm. It's just people with no common sense really wind me up.

 

[HelloStereo]

Exactly! At least wait 5 minutes to see if someone comes out? Or do the common sense thing and ....knock the door? and ask?
Yeah that's fair enough to you tbf seen as someone just saw you on bog. "but I locked it" is a fair (and very dignified) response. I'd have been shouting "are you bleeping thick or what?" while wiping my vag, pulling my trousers up ready to confront said person for being beyond stupid.

I am aware that it sounds like i need anger managment as a result of this post but honestly i'm actually really calm. It's just people with no common sense really wind me up.

Haha no I totally get your response and that's exactly how I felt. I love how you'd handle it and what you'd say. I was in too much shock to react very well .

Usually if a toilet is locked I'd just wait. If it has been five minutes I'd knock and then wait. If I didn't get a response I'd wait a bit longer and then I'd probably tell someone in case there was trouble! But I wouldn't get a member of staff as soon as I noticed the toilet was locked, just seems kind of obviously it was locked because someone was in it.

 

[chandlercheesecake]

Not the most embarrassing, but one that I look back on and laugh:

I was writing something down on a piece of paper in the library at school once (can't remember what, must've been something personal)
I got distracted for a moment, and turned back round to see a boy in my year walking past me with a similar looking piece of paper in his hand
I immediately yelled "NO, GIVE IT BACK!!!"
The boy gave me a funny look and went on his way.
I looked down at the desk to see my piece of paper still in front of me.

Luckily hardly anyone was around, but a couple of exchange students sitting nearby figured out what had happened, and started giggling to themselves.
I sheepishly gathered up my things and left the library.

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Years ago I saw a dress in the river island sale a size smaller then my usual. But I loved it and decided to try it on. It fitted just about but obviously I got it stuck and was mortified at having to ask the assistant to help me get out. I even considered asking her if I could buy it and wear it home.

 

[newtoyou]

I was on the train and desperately needed a poo (it’s the first time I’ve ever thought I might poo myself in public!). I figured I could wait to get to the station rather than risk going on the train loos (because I knew I’d be in there for a while). Finally got in the station cubicle and let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. The problem was the cleaners were in there and for some reason were cleaning each cubicle after every person. After about 10 mins I was the only one left in a cubicle and I could hear the cleaners out there just waiting for me to get out. I finally did, and the cleaner went in, said “loooorrrd” and stepped right out. I washed my hands and ran

 

[MissyAnon]

I went into a coffee shop with my little boy who must have been 3 or 4 at the time, and my daughter in her pushchair, had the tray, got sorted at the table and my son said he needed a wee, we were sat right by the toilet so I said he could go by himself like he would at home, rather than abandoning the table/drinks/cake and trying to wheel the pram in or whatever. Everything's fine, nice and chilled... Until my son wanders out of the toilet, trousers round his ankles and loo roll in hand shouting 'Mummy! I've done a poo!'

 

[HelloStereo]

I was on the train and desperately needed a poo (it’s the first time I’ve ever thought I might poo myself in public!). I figured I could wait to get to the station rather than risk going on the train loos (because I knew I’d be in there for a while). Finally got in the station cubicle and let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. The problem was the cleaners were in there and for some reason were cleaning each cubicle after every person. After about 10 mins I was the only one left in a cubicle and I could hear the cleaners out there just waiting for me to get out. I finally did, and the cleaner went in, said “loooorrrd” and stepped right out. I washed my hands and ran

Ah I feel ya. It's like when you go for a poo in public and it's busy so you wait in the cubicle hoping the queue will subside. Eventually you make your run for it and someone typically comes in and goes into the toilet after you. I usually make a comment which is so obviously a lie like "someone left it in a state before me".

Similarly as awkward (although I wasn't the perpetrator). One time I went to the toilets with a friend and I thought it was just me and her in there. I was in the cubicle and heard an almighty fart, and I just went "Charlotte, goodness me what did you eat earlier?"

I didn't hear anything for ages and then I heard her gently reply "I'm just outside". Turned out I hadn't realised someone else had come in and it was them who was parping away in the cubicle next to me.

 

[Bubble10]

A good few years ago I asked my boss to stop texting me because I thought that it was inappropriate they way he worded the text messages, and I was married, he looked rather confused but accepted it. A little while later he said I get the jokes that I have sent may be inappropriate but can I still text you if we have any extra shifts? When I replied saying the jokes didn’t bother me and yes to the extra shifts, he looked even more confused and said but I haven’t text you any other time apart from jokes or extra shifts? I told him I felt uncomfortable when he signed off with lots of love .... he nearly died laughing and told me LOL actually meant laugh out loud! Let’s just say that for the rest of my shift he couldn’t look at me for laughing, and my husband thought that it was hilarious that I actually said that to him and the fact that I thought it meant something completely different!

 

[shirleymaclaine1]

As a kid on a family holiday, I once went merrily down the slide into the swimming pool shouting ‘Look at me, Auntie Pam!!’ completely unaware that I was just about to disrupt a game of water polo taking place. My family still talk about it decades later.....

 

[Sitbackandwatch]

I could go on and on but the main ones that stand out are

I was on a first date at a gig and afterwards decided to go into Asda for some snacks. I noticed he was looking at my arse a lot and me being me felt so flattered but turns out when I got home I’d come on my period and was wearing white jeans.

I was on a date (different guy to above) and we went bowling. Still to this day I cannot understand why this happened but I got home and realised I still had my bowling shoes on. I was too mortified to go back and retrieve my shoes so they’re probably still there.

I was 16 on a family holiday and was lazing around the pool in my bikini but had shorts on because I came on. I decided to go for a little wander round the complex only when I got back my mum was in hysterics, I kept saying what’s wrong???? To which she replied look down. My pad was dangling right down between my legs the whole time!! The thing is though I noticed I was getting a lot of stares but I couldn’t understand why

 

[CarrieW24]

I'm going to share my least embarrassing stories, which still wake me up at night but nothing compared to what I have stored in my brain

1. One time, during orientation week at uni, this girl introduced herself. Her name was Violet (beautiful name) but in the noisy hall I heard it as 'violence.' I chuckled and said: "ok tell me your real name." She repeated her name. I said through chuckles: "NOBODY names their child that! What's your name?"

I don't know when the penny dropped, it was long after she had walked away.

That wasn't my last offence with people's names, unfortunately. I had a similar reaction to a Mexican man named Jaime, I heard it as 'hymen'.

I consciously decided that I would stop reacting to names afterwards. No matter what. I don't care if someone says: "I'm Vagina Moonrocket," I've trained myself to just say: "nice to meet you."

------------

2. I had detox tea a few hours before the end of my shift. If you've ever had one of those, you'll know exactly how stinky this story is... So I've put a spoiler warning on it. Don't read if you're eating.

Spoiler: Don't read while eating

At the end of a work shift, I had to stop to use the ladies before going home. I had already taken my coat and handbag out of my locker, so hung my very distinctive coat over the door.

I was alone so felt safe to let it all out, not expecting it to be that bad. I normally hold it in at work so I don't stink up the place, but sometimes when you have to go, you have to go. Sorry the over share, this one was particularly very stinky.

Thought I'd be in and out undetected, as nobody is in the bathrooms during shift change. They are either entering/leaving the building, or in the locker rooms (not attached to the bathrooms). Two supervisors walked in. I knew them by their voices. One said it was just too stinky, she couldn't breathe, and left. The other one, my direct supervisor, used the toilet right next to me (I had, of course, picked the middle stall ).

It's one of those toilet cubicle designs with the open bottom, so you can see each others shoes. I knew her by her voice and shoes. She definitely knew it was me by my coat and shoes, no mistake

If I wasn't already embarrassed, I decided the best thing in the moment was to be still and not make a sound, thinking I would wait it out until she left. She was obviously thinking the same thing, because after an awkward long while I noticed I couldn't hear her moving, peeing, or making any sound. I had to give in, finish what I started, and hurry out of there.

Couldn't look at her for a long time afterwards. If I was a millionaire, I never would have shown up to work again after that.

 

[Fancyfeathers]

I was once at a zoo and the part i wanted to look in was really dark me being a clever dick peeked up close to see if i could see anything and was not only met with a huge ding on the glass but my face being the other side of the biggest spider in the world that was on the glass i swear i kid you not it was like one of the ones from 8 legged freaks i fell ass over tit stumbling backwards wet myself in shame and was shaking so bad and a bad a lump on my head the size of a cream egg.my partner and kids thought it was hilarious

 

[birdiefly246]

I was on a date (different guy to above) and we went bowling. Still to this day I cannot understand why this happened but I got home and realised I still had my bowling shoes on. I was too mortified to go back and retrieve my shoes so they’re probably still there.

If you still had the shoes on what about him? Did he leave his shoes as well? Did he have his own shoes on to bowl?

 

[Sitbackandwatch]

If you still had the shoes on what about him? Did he leave his shoes as well? Did he have his own shoes on to bowl?

He had changed back into his normal shoes so god knows where I was when this was happening. I was a bit tipsy but he didn’t even tell me. I even got on a bus home without realising